


Old World Romance

by Ookami_Hime



Series: Not the Standard Unit [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Angst, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: The First Avenger, Cunnilingus, Derogatory Language, Dirty Talk, F/F, F/M, Frottage, Harm to Children Due to War, Hate Crimes, Illegal Activites Being Bootlegging, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Masturbation, Mentions of Children Used in Illegal Activities, Moral Dilemmas, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Peggy Carter Is a Good Bro, Period Typical Attitudes, Polyamory, Rimming, Schmoop, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Threesome - F/M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 109,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2385611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookami_Hime/pseuds/Ookami_Hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“A world where it is safe to love is a world where it is safe to live.” <b>― Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio</b></i> </p><p> </p><p>Or just because there's a mark on your body that says you have two soul mates doesn't make it any easier for you or anyone else in the world to accept.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Here We Start

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a brainchild for a long time now. It's all the fun stuff you never knew you wanted until now. I should probably warn you that that this **is a Steve/OFC/Bucky** story because I can't pick between them, so what the hell? Let's put them in a poly relationship. Plus, soul mates!!!! So, Steve and Bucky are soul mates and are already in an established relationship going into the war. This takes place a little after Steve saves Bucky and forms the Howling Commandos and they meet their other soul mate on a mission. Like it says up in the information, there was a past OFC/OFC because, dude, I'm representin' everyone. Steve, Bucky, and the main OFC are bisexual, but, like it says in teh tags, the main OFC's best friend is a lesbian. There's some history between them that'll be explained throughout the story.
> 
> A lot of issues are dealt with in this story. There's homophobia and racism because this was back in WWII and I like to be historically accurate with my shit. So, basically, in this story, if you and your soul mate aren't heterosexual, you're seen as being "defective", in a sense. And since the main character comes from the south, interracial relationships are seen in the same way (spoiler: if the wrong people find out, it means violence and the KKK will be mentioned). Also, it's _extremely rare_ (or so they believe at the time) for people to have more than one soul mate, so some people take the poly relationship as defective, too. Also, I should probably mention that the main character takes the Lord's name in vain...a lot. So, if that bothers you, I'm sorry but I have a way I write her and yeah...
> 
> Whew. That was a lot of background information for a story that probably no one will be interested in. But I felt like y'all needed to know. Well, those people that read it, anyway.
> 
> I hope y'all like it. <3
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone from Marvel.

“We could move up north, y’know.” The blonde murmured and turned onto her side to stare at her dark-skinned lover. “I don’t think we’d have to hide around as much as we do now.” And then she leaned out to brush a kiss over the dark tattoo etched onto her lover’s neck. “We could have us a nice apartment and we could sleep in an actual _bed_ , so we wouldn’t have to sneak out to some ol’ barn. It’d be real nice, Josie. Don’t yah think?”

 

The other woman hummed. “I don’t think a colored and a white could _live_ with each other, Quinn. Even up north.” When her expression saddened, Josephine leaned out to kiss her forehead. “But it _would_ be nice.” Then she smiled but it came out bittersweet. “Maybe we’d meet your matches while we’re up there.”

 

“You ain’t no comedian, sweetheart.” Quinn drawled and touched the soul mark on Josie while she insisted that, “my match is here. See where my name is? That’s what that means. You’re supposed to be the smart one, ain’t yah?”

 

As Josie leaned up from the old blanket, Quinn looked over her bare back and wanted to run a hand across the expanse of smooth skin, but then her lover turned around and shook her head. “No, _mon chère_ ,” Quinn winced when Josie traced one of the marks that ran up and down her side. “You’re _my_ match, but I’m not yours.” Her lower lip trembled. “We shouldn’t do this no more.”

 

“Whoever these fellas are,” the blonde hissed and leaned up to motion toward the two names scrawled on each of her sides. “Neither of them are _you_. I love _you_ , Josephine DuPont. Ain’t no bad soul mark gonna change that for me. So, don’t you feel bad about it, okay?” Then, she started to backtrack because, shit, “unless you don’t love me and I…I didn’t mean to pressure you like that—”

 

“Of course I love you.” Josie whispered and leaned forward to nip at that spot on her neck that made Quinn melt. “I’ve loved you from the second I could read your name.” She breathed out. “Just…wish I deserved you, is all it is, honey.”

 

 

 

Someone shoved their boot into her stomach and that tore Quinn from her dreams—no, from her memories. The blonde rolled over onto her side with a moan of pain and opened her eyes in time to watch a soldier sneer at her in German before he slammed the door to her cell shut. As he walked back up the hall, her steel blue eyes narrowed in on the cell across from her own where the nurses of her battalion resided. Most of them were curled up with one another in the back of the cell, borrowed heat from each other, but one, Helen Winchester, had scurried to the front to look over at Quinn worriedly.

 

“Are you okay?” Helen whispered.

 

“Should ask _you_ that, honey,” Quinn mumbled, but in the silence, it was plenty loud. God, whatever those doctors had shoved up her arm made her entire body _hurt_. “How is everyone?” Which meant: _is everyone alive? Has anyone died from starvation, dehydration, or hypothermia yet?_ Despite how much she wanted to curl in on herself and sleep, she moved to sit up and stare at the other women.

 

The redhead shook her head and stared at Quinn with tears in her eyes. “We’re _fine_.” She insisted. “But _you’re_ not, are you? Good God, Quinn. You shouldn’t have stood up to them like that. Look at how awful you look. You’re so…” She wiped at her wet cheeks.

 

See, but how was she supposed to tell them that she had experience with evil men? Because the lot of them had trained with each other, had been shipped out overseas with each other, had spent the last six months hand-in-hand and Quinn knew that if she told them about _that_ then they would’ve taken her place on that steel table. And there was no way in hell that she would let them experience that kind of pain. Lord, these women had become her _sisters_. Just the same as if Liam or Josie or Ma or Pa had been there in their places, she would’ve done her damned hardest to keep them safe.

 

“I know, I know,” Quinn breathed out and tried not to make a face because of the pain. “I’m stubborn as a mule. Heard that my whole life, y’know,” she added before she stared Helen down. “Now, move your ass back over there and keep warm.”

 

“Don’t _worry_ about us.” Helen snapped.

 

Yeah, well, Quinn would always worry about _someone_ until the day she died. That was the kind of person that she was. Still, she decided to keep quiet and let Helen have some peace of mind. Jeez, those Germans _had_ to ambush them before they could reach camp and be issued their winter uniforms, didn’t they? Still dressed in the standard white dress, the bitter cold bit at her skin and sunk down into her bones. It made her shiver and huddle over a little bit more.

 

The other nurse released a frustrated breath. “I don’t know how you can be so brave. You should have a medal or be promoted.” Yeah, like that would ever happen. “Whoever’s on your mark sure is one lucky fella. I’m sure he’ll be real proud of you.”

 

“Don’t be humble. You’re brave, too.”

 

Whenever someone tried to talk about soul marks with her, Quinn always balked and clammed up about it because how do you tell a person that you have not one, but _two_ soul marks? That didn’t happen to normal people. And, hell, there were some people out there who never even met their soul mate or had the chance to love but lost them. Even worse, there were some who had a soul mark that didn’t match up with their intended and that was the worst kind of pain.

 

All Quinn had ever dreamed about was the day that she would wake up with Josephine DuPont scrawled prettily somewhere on her body, but when she turned seventeen, it was two names that showed up down each of her sides and it hadn’t been fair. It had blown what Quinn and Josie had all to pieces. Who said she deserved two soul mates when Josie ended up with no one? And she had loved that woman with all her heart, but Josie was the one that ended it between them. Five years later and she still hurt over what happened between them.

 

“Not as brave as you are,” Helen crawled back over to the other nurses. “Try to keep warm, okay?”

 

Really, all she wanted to do was sleep. Maybe she could dream about those hot Kentucky summers that she never believed she would ever miss until that moment. “Hear yah loud and clear,” she whispered and leaned back down onto the concrete so that she could curl up into a ball.

 

Of course, as soon as she tried to rest up, a door somewhere down the hall slammed open which meant that the Germans were back for more. For a second, her limbs felt like rocks, too heavy to move because all she wanted was some sleep. The bastards hadn’t let her sleep a wink when they started their experiments. But if she didn’t put the attention on herself then the soldiers would leap at the nearest person they could and heaven help her if they took Helen. The woman had become her best friend. Well, aside from Josie, of course.

 

So, Quinn stumbled to her feet and watched as a man darted down the hall then stopped between their two cells and it took her a moment to process the…very _American_ uniform. Wait a second. “Holy _shit_ ,” she cried out in a very un-lady like manner. “You’re _Captain America_.” Liam had been so damned obsessed with those comics. He would have a _fit_ when she told him that she met his idol.

 

Said American icon turned to stare at her and ducked his head down when she looked him up and down. Sure, all she had ever been with was Josephine, but he was a real handsome man. “Yes ma’am.” Then, he stepped back to look between the two cells. “Is anyone hurt?”

 

“More tired and cold than hurt, I think,” she explained and looked over to the other cell where Helen had started to wake up the other nurses. “If these bastards have some medical supplies stashed somewhere, I’m sure we could patch ourselves up. Your men, too, if it’s needed,” she commented and noted the places where he looked a little worse for wear.

 

“That’d be appreciated, ma’am.” The Captain replied and stepped closer to her cell while he reached for the shield strapped across his back. “I’d take a step back. I don’t want to hurt you.” He added as he positioned his shield to where he could knock off the padlock. Quinn nodded and took a step back then watched as he slammed the edge into the lock which then dropped down to the floor, broken to pieces. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked when she stumbled out of her prison and he had to catch her by the arm, she wobbled so much.

 

The blonde cleared her throat and sent him a curt smile. “I will be when I can see my ladies, Captain.” And then she motioned toward the other cell where the nurses all stood huddled near the back.

 

For a moment, he watched her, maybe surprised by her attitude which, yeah, Pa had always told her that her mouth would put her in a lot of trouble someday. Hell, it had almost killed her once before. But when it came down to it, she was too exhausted to put up with niceties. Still, he _had_ saved them and maybe she should be a little more appreciative of that. So, she was about to open her mouth to apologize, but he smiled at her before he turned around to repeat the process with the other cell.

 

To her complete and utter surprise, stoic Irene Watson was the first person to launch herself at Quinn and wrap her up in her arms. Got the jump on Quinn before Helen even had the chance and that was a shocker because, out of all the nurses, she was sure Irene didn’t like her that much. But, of course, some German doctor had tried to take her when the lot of them had first been shoved into these cells, so, technically, it should’ve been her on the table rather than Quinn.

 

“Thank you.” Irene muttered in her ear.

 

Quinn cleared her throat and her cheeks heated up. “Don’t work yourself up. You’re too pretty for that.” But she still wrapped her arms around Irene and squeezed back which must’ve been the all clear for all the other ladies to throw themselves around her and each other.

 

“Y’all,” she moaned in embarrassment and watched a pack of men storm down the hall which had to be Captain America’s Howling Commandos, no doubt. “C’mon now, this is just silly. I didn’t—”

 

“Quinn Hayden,” Elizabeth Johnson hissed and leaned back to glower at her. “If you don’t shut the hell up and accept the fact that you’re a full blown hero, I’ll sock you in the jaw. I swear to God.” If sweet little Betty was pissed off enough to threaten you, it’d be best to shut up and do as she said.

 

A loud noise echoed in the small hall that seemed extremely crowded now and everyone looked to watch as Captain America fumbled to pick up the shield that he had dropped somehow. Huh, she never took him as a klutz. When she turned to look over at the Commandos—‘cause maybe they knew what had him all worked up—most of them seemed pretty amused about the whole situation, but one of them, near the front, a handsome brunet, looked white as a sheet.

 

“Ladies,” she sensed that the Captain and at least one of his Commandos needed to talk. “Maybe we should patch these fellas up, yeah? It’s the least we could do, ain’t it?”

 

“I do believe I spotted a room that had some medical supplies on the way here.” One of the men told them.

 

The other nurses shuffled ahead and it was almost instinctive for her to remain at the back so that she could watch them all like a hawk, make sure that no one was hurt more than they let on. The ladies seemed fine, but some of the Commandos seemed scraped up. And when she peered over her shoulder at the Captain and that pretty brunet who talked to one another in hushed tones, they had some cuts that may’ve needed some stitches. Still, that could be handled a lot better than bullet wounds.

 

Gosh, it seemed like her brain had been in overdrive since the second she woke up in this place. Now that she had the chance to relax, all she wanted was to curl up under a blanket and be dead to the world until the damned war ended. That exhaustion must’ve shown because Alice Lawrence threw an arm around her shoulders and told her how, as soon as they made it to the room, the others would work to patch up the Commandos and she could catch a wink or two while they did that. It sounded like a nice damn plan, but as soon as they stepped inside the room and she realized that, _of course_ it was the same room that doctor experimented on her in, sleep was the last thing she had on her mind.

 

Laverne Porter stood back with Quinn at the entrance of the room and, once everyone had shuffled inside ahead of them, she turned around to stand in front of the blonde and looked at her worriedly. “You don’t look so swell. Sure you’re fine?”

 

“Not sure how much I have to tell y’all that I am,” Quinn lied.

 

“You know I can spot a liar a mile away.” Laverne reached out to wrap her hands around Quinn’s which continued to shake despite how much she wanted them to stop. “You feel like a leaf in the wind. Go wait out in the hall. We can handle this on our own. I think you’ve done plenty for everyone here.”

 

It didn’t seem like she had much of a choice, so she nodded. “Yes, Ma,” she huffed under her breath and smiled a little when Laverne knocked her upside the head—but not with too much force behind it.

 

And as much as she hated to admit it, when she was outside the room, it did make her feel better. If she ever had the chance to meet that little rat, she’d throw punch after punch until he was a pile of blood and broken bones. That was some kind of motivation for her to move on—the fact that she helped in a war that would put that little bastard in his place.

 

“Ma’am?” someone asked from above her and she hadn’t realized that she’d leaned back on the wall and slid down until the Captain and his friend were squatted down in front of her. “Miss Hayden, was it?” He inquired, meek and polite.

 

Quinn stared between the two men in surprise and also tried not to blush. At some point, the Captain had taken his helmet off and without it on, sweet Jesus—Ma would have her head if she knew how much Quinn took the Lord’s name in vain—he was _beautiful_. The both of them were, in fact. Hell, the two of them probably didn’t even need weapons. Maybe they made the Nazis swoon to death.

 

“Oh! Um, yes,” she blurted and hoped she wouldn’t make a fool of herself. She never did do so well with pretty people. Well, other than Josie, but she’d known Josie her whole life. “Nurse Quinn Hayden.” She introduced. “It’s an honor to meet y’all. My little brother is a real fan. He made us drive all the way up to Cincinnati to see one of your shows and he wouldn’t shut up when we couldn’t take a picture with you…” When she realized she started to rant, her face heated up. “’M sorry,” she added.

 

“You don’t need to be.” He replied and smiled at her. “The honor is ours, trust me. The other nurses told us about what happened—about what you did for them.” Then he frowned. “That’s why we wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

 

“I’m fine. Honest I am.” Quinn reassured them. “I’ve had a few scraps with fellas before. I can handle it.” The two raised a brow at her at almost the same time and she had done embarrassed herself now. “I’m…uh…that wasn’t how it sounded?”

 

Then, the man beside the Captain sent her a smile that would’ve had a few ladies back home head over heels for him while he stuck out his hand for her to shake. “James Buchanan Barnes. It’s a real pleasure to meet you, Miss Hayden.”

 

“Steven Grant Rogers,” the blond added meekly and extended his hand as well.

 

“Nice to—” wait. “I’m…I’m sorry?” No, no, no. There was no possible—it couldn’t be. “I…could you repeat that for me? I’m not sure that my head is all here this second. I could’ve sworn you said your names were—” she scrubbed a hand over her face. “James Buchanan Barnes and Steven Grant Rogers,” she repeated and tried to pretend she hadn’t whispered those names in the darkness of her old bedroom back home.

 

Their hands had retreated back to their sides and Steve continued to look about ready to collapse he looked so nervous, but James kept that same smile on his face. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Quinn Esther Hayden.” Then the smile turned softer than before. “That is you, isn’t it, doll?”

 

Of course that was her. Of course she would have two American heroes as her soul mates. Yeah, that was her luck. “I’m…some nurse from the backwoods of Kentucky!” Quinn exclaimed and waved her hands around wildly as if that would elaborate the point more. “This is impossible. I never believed—” she moaned irritably. “Y’all are probably real swell, but I didn’t ever think that I’d…”

 

“Ever meet us,” Steve supplied for her then added, quieter, “You don’t think you deserve this.”

 

That made it even _worse_. They _understood_. Shit, but that did make sense. It’d take a real cocky son of a bitch to think that they deserved to have two soul mates. “Yeah,” she nodded and sucked in a deep breath. “I’m…” She curled in on herself a little more. “I’m so sorry, but do you think I could…have some time to myself? I, uh, I’ve had a hard few days. I—”

 

“Don’t feel pressured.” He blurted. “We didn’t want that to come from this. We heard your name and it’s been on us since we were nineteen. So, we can wait more.” His cheeks reddened when she raised a brow at him and he looked to James for help.

 

“Like he said, we didn’t expect anything from yah when we came out here. All we wanted was to let you know that we’re here.” James elaborated for him and stood up to his feet. “C’mon, Steve,” he clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Let’s let those ladies patch us up.”

 

Quinn watched them walk back into the room and took a deep breath when she couldn’t see them anymore because when she came overseas to help with the war, she didn’t expect to meet her _soul mates_. And, in her head, clear as a bell, Ma said, _“Next time I see you on my doorstep, you better have a man on your arm. Well, suppose it’s two in your case.”_ Fuck, and she would have to tell her mother about them—her mother who waited for the day that Quinn would be married much like a starved animal waited on a scrap of meat.

 

What the hell was a person supposed to do when they met their soul mates? All she had ever heard on that was how her Ma and Pa met and that had been when Ma punched Pa in the face because he and a bunch of his old buddies hadn’t treated her so swell. And she was supposed to spend her life with these two. How would she be able to do _that_? The best attempt she ever had at a relationship had been with Josephine and that had been a pretty easy transition because they’d spent their entire lives with each other. But Steve and James…they were a whole other can of worms. See, she was a real awkward person deep down—not like Liam who could be best friends with a damned Nazi if he wanted to.

 

Oh and now was about the time that the panic started to set in because, holy _shit_ , those two were American heroes and they were her _soul mates_. These were the men that had been on her skin since she turned seventeen. She had only ever expected to help with the war overseas not meet the people God chose for her. Sure, there were people already married with kids at twenty-four, but she didn’t feel…ready for… _that_.

 

“Goddamn it,” Quinn snarled under her breath and moved a hand across her face. “Jesus help me. What the hell ‘m I supposed to do now?”

 

Someone stepped out into the hall and, no doubt, saved her from the wrath of God with how much she took His name in vain. If Helen had heard her curse, she didn’t let on about it and instead looked down at her, face full of concern. “Everyone’s patched up except you. Want to come in so we can look at you?” She paused. “Or maybe I can patch you up out here? But Captain America needs to talk to us about what’ll happen next. But, well, I could tell you about it, I suppose…”

 

“I’ll be fine, sweetheart.” The blonde replied tiredly. “Just a little tired, is all, but I’ll survive. But…help me up, yeah?” She held out a hand for Helen to take and the other woman helped her to her feet. “You’re the best.” She added with a little smile and patted her friend on the shoulder.

 

Quinn needed support from Helen to make it inside the room and she made sure to not look over at Steve or James because…well, that didn’t need to be explained, did it? The other Commandos started to crowd around their leader while the other nurses flocked over to her and Helen and helped the latter whenever she needed some supplies to patch Quinn up. The ladies made idle chatter, talked about what they’d do once they made it to camp, but she didn’t care much to listen. It took every ounce of her willpower not to lean back onto that table and sleep then and there.

 

From the other side of the room, Steve cleared his throat and all female attention moved to him—but Quinn made sure to keep ducked behind Helen so that she didn’t have to make direct eye contact. “Ladies,” he started. “We’re in some pretty thick woods, so we can’t radio any air support. It’s a two day hike to reach our ride. Is there anyone that can’t walk?” There was no response, thank God. “Okay. Good.” He looked around at everyone. “We’ll check and see if we can stock up on some supplies before we head out. Until then—”

 

“We’ll wait here. Thank you, Captain.” Alice shyly spoke up and what would she do when she found out about Quinn’s newfound…relationship with him? Because from the second they had seen Captain America in some newsreels used to boost morale in the camps, she had swooned over any mention of him. Gosh, she was surprised Alice hadn’t tried to talk to him any sooner.

 

“Don’t move around so much.” Irene snapped and slapped Quinn upside the head and, wow, for people that cared so much about her physical health the lot of them sure did hit her plenty. “You know how horrible she is with stitches. You want her to stitch her sleeve to your arm accidentally?”

 

Helen’s face scrunched up and she pouted at Irene, but Quinn cut in before her. “Oh, I must be dead already.” She threw a hand across her forehead like some dainty lady about to faint. “Because the Irene I know never cracks jokes,” she added and then winked at Irene.

 

“Don’t care if you’re a hero now,” Irene muttered. “I’ll still put my foot up your—”

 

Elizabeth covered her mouth before she could finish that curse. “Irene,” she hissed. “You can’t _talk_ like that in front of _them_.” She motioned toward the few Commandos that remained in the room with them while the other men went out in search of more supplies. “That’s not what ladies do.”

 

“Sure them fellas heard a lot worse than Irene’s mouth.” Quinn drawled and threw up her free hand in surrender when Elizabeth shot her a sharp look. “Yeah, okay, we won’t run our mouths ‘round them no more.” Her brows furrowed and she looked to each one of them. “Sure y’all are up for this trip? Two days is a while for people that’ve been locked up for…” Oops. She still had no idea how much time they’d been locked up for. “Y’all know what I mean here.”

 

“We’ll be _fine_ , Quinn.” Alice said exasperatedly.

 

“Those Germans didn’t kick _us_ around.” Laverne tacked on and stared at Quinn hard.

 

Quinn knew where the conversation was headed. The ladies wanted to know about what had happened to her in this very room. But she wasn’t much up to talk about that, so she instead stood to her feet and announced that, “Gonna look for some warmer clothes for us. I’m sure these sauerkrauts have _something_ for us to wear so we don’t freeze our asses off out there.”

 

Now, see, if Josie or Liam or Ma had been there, none of them would have stopped until they made Quinn spill every detail, but no one said a word as she walked out the door. And that made Quinn miss home like crazy.

 

\---

 

When Quinn stumbled across what appeared to be German barracks, she almost turned tail and ran like she had done with her friends because the room had already been occupied by a certain pair that she started to wonder if they ever left one another’s sides. But then she remembered that, hey, they had their names on each other, so of course they would keep beside each other as much as possible. Plus, like she realized earlier, who’d want to leave such a handsome fella’s side, anyway?

 

The blonde had spent so much time wrapped up in her frenzied head that she never stopped to notice that the two of them had turned to look at her in the doorway. Steve looked a little worried but James just stared at her with that crooked smile and, “how many people have you charmed the pants off of with that?” sweet Jesus. Did she actually just blurt that out loud? This was what happened when she was too nervous.

 

“More than I can count.” James replied and beamed at her.

 

“Sorry.” Her cheeks reddened while she rubbed the back of her neck. “I ain’t a smooth talker.”

 

“Neither is Steve.” She couldn’t help but smile when Steve sent James a scandalized look. “So, how can we help you, ma’am?” he asked when he turned back to stare at her after he winked at Steve.

 

Quinn cleared her throat and took a few steps inside the room. “Wanted to look for some clothes that maybe we could wear,” she explained and motioned toward her white nurse uniform. “Got ambushed on our way to a base camp and we’d been at a hospital, so we didn’t need our winter uniforms yet. But,” she looked around the room and noted a distinct lack of coats. “It looks like we’re outta luck. So, what’re y’all in here for?”

 

“Intel,” Steve spoke up. “Whatever we can use to help find more Hydra bases,” when she raised a brow at the term, he smiled wryly. “It’s the Nazi science division.” Her mouth formed an ‘o’. “But we can help you look around, if you’d like. There have to be some spare uniforms around here somewhere.”

 

She shook her head. “No sir. This is a hell of a lot more important than some coats.”

 

“Excuse me, but you and the nurses, _you’re_ more important.” He declared.

 

And that was very honorable of him to say, but, “well, _excuse me_ , but I’d rather freeze to death than risk the lives of other people these Nazi bastards probably have locked up like they did us. That’d be plain selfish. The war is more important than us bein’ comfortable.” She raised her head up and stared him down. “So, hop to it, boys.”

 

James cracked up when Steve stared at her like a fish out of water and then he burst out with, “but…I’m a captain.”

 

“Color me impressed,” she drawled.

 

“So…you have to…listen to me?”

 

Woo, and here she was sure no one could be worse with the opposite sex than she was. “ _Captain_ ,” she didn’t want to be mean, but this was plain ridiculous. “I ain’t in the best a moods, so how ‘bout y’all go back to what you were doin’ and I’ll do the same and we’ll pretend you didn’t make an ass outta yourself.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

\---

 

Turns out that there _were_ some spare coats around the place, but there were only four…and there were six nurses with Quinn included. In the end, Quinn and Irene opted out because the others were thin as sticks and Ma always said that if there was no meat on a person’s bones, they’d never last the winter. Huddled up with each other near the entrance, Quinn kept to the back because she knew someone would try and sneak a coat on her some way or another and she wouldn’t have that.

 

“Here you are ladies.” A commando with a bowler hat purred as he and Steve held out some coats to her and Irene.

 

Irene took hers with a smile and thanks, but Quinn shook her head. “I don’t need it. It’s more important that you—”

 

“I’m a super soldier. I can handle the cold.” Steve shot back and rather than talk about it anymore, he shoved the jacket into her arms and walked back over to stand next to James.

 

And now that someone else did the whole run and hide trick on her, she saw how frustrating it really was.


	2. Defective Merchandise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems about the only thing that makes sense to Quinn these days is this: she's _broken_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, considering I've gotten a hundred hits within a week of posting this story, I'm guessing someone likes it? Thank you to everyone that left kudos, too! You're all amazing and, seriously, this is the quickest I've gotten another chapter done ever. It may be because I'm super pumped about this story. Gosh, I hope you like it.  
> Also, it should probably be mentioned that there are religious themes in this because this does take place back in the forties and, especially in the south, religion was an important part of life. Quinn and her family are extremely liberal compared to their neighbors, but the people around them aren't and that can influence a person's thoughts on themselves. So, I guess there's some internalized shaming here? Kinda?  
> Anyway, again, thank you! I love y'all so much! <3
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone from Marvel.

“Um, excuse me,” a voice inquired to the side of her and the blonde cocked her head to the side to raise a brow at the man who had seemed more than fine to use his rank on her earlier but now seemed more hesitant to do so. “Miss Hayden?” Lord, the man looked so nervous that it made her rethink about how mean she acted earlier. All he wanted to do was help her out.

 

“At ease, soldier.” Quinn smiled at him and tried to perk up his mood. “Call me Quinn, yeah? Miss Hayden is my momma.” And sure she was no comedian, but that did make him loosen up a little so that counted as a win in her book.

 

“Call me Steve then.” _That_ could be a little harder for her to do. She doubted that too many people knew about her place on his skin, so it would’ve seemed real odd if she went around and used his name all willy-nilly like that. “I wanted to say sorry about what happened back there.” He waved toward the warehouse that started to disappear behind them.

 

Oh shucks. How come he had to be such a _sincere_ fella? “Ah, I should say sorry, too,” because, well, he shouldn’t have done that, but “you were protectin’ people. It’s what you’re supposed to do but my knickers went and twisted up ‘cause…I’m _me_.” She cleared her throat and her cheeks reddened. “Head’s harder than a rock.”

 

That made him smile. “I have the same problem. Ask Buck.” The response he received had been a blank look and there was that sheepish look all over again. “Oh. Not even his Ma calls him James anymore. Everyone calls him Bucky.” She nodded and tucked that away in her head for the future. “Anyway, I won’t take up too much more of your time. It’s just that a bunch of the fellas wanted to know why your friend up there looks like she has it out for everyone…” He started to fumble when he realized that could’ve come out the wrong way. “I didn’t mean to offend—”

 

Quinn couldn’t help but crack up at that which shut him up real quick because that probably hadn’t been the reaction he expected out of her. Up ahead of the two of them, some of the nurses looked over their shoulders to look back at her and she waved them off. When she could breathe, she explained that, “Irene’s from Florida, so she ain’t so used to the cold. She’s pissed ‘cause y’all have nice warm clothes and we’re stuck in these cold dresses.”

 

“That makes sense.” She couldn’t help but notice how he kept his eyes locked with hers and didn’t look down which was real nice and polite of him. Gosh, Ma would be all over her about him. “I’d offer you my pants, too, but—” he blushed. “That was…inappropriate. I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t do so swell with the ladies, do yah?” A person would think that the Captain America could handle himself around women, but that didn’t seem to be the case. “You don’t have to work so hard to impress me, y’know. You sealed that deal when you saved me from a prison cell.”

 

“I don’t want to impress you.” Steve explained quietly as he frowned. “Really, I just…wanted to talk to you—get to know you better.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Because, like I said before, we’ve had your name on us since we were nineteen. I’ve waited _years_ to meet you…but you’re right. I’ve never done well with dames— _ladies_.”

 

How was she supposed to explain to him that she had been downright scared of the day that she would finally meet her soul mates? “I…” Maybe people back home had been on the dot about her. Maybe she was broken. “I don’t do so good with pretty people, either. ‘S not just you,” she blurted because if she couldn’t admit the truth to him then she could at least tell him the truth about _something_. “I’m shocked I can even stand here and talk to you and not look like a fool. You didn’t need to punch Adolf in the face. Take off that mask and that’ll lay him out flat.” _And_ there she went with the rants. Why’d she have to have such a horrible nervous habit for?

 

Thankfully, it wasn’t just her that went red in the face from her comment because, he laughed, but there was a flush back in his cheeks again. “The papers sure would love that.”

 

“They’ll build statues of yah. And at the bottom, they’ll say: ‘Captain America made Adolf Hitler surrender with a single wink’. For decades to come, some poor fella is gonna try to out-beautify yah, but he’ll have no luck.” When she saw how he had started to hunch in on himself, she paused and went to backtrack. “Hey, it’s not just the outside of yah that’s pretty. You’re the bravest fella I ever met. _That’s_ what’ll go down in history about you.”

 

That didn’t seem to make him feel any better. “I’m not as good as everyone thinks I am.”

 

“Says the man that saved some nurses from certain death, wanted to drop his mission to make sure they were warm when they ventured out in the cold, and still gave up his own warm jacket to make sure some nurse could be warm…and that don’t even add in all the other amazin’ stuff you’ve done.” She snorted and shook her head. “You’re right, sugar. You’re not as good as everyone thinks. You’re _better_.”

 

When he smiled down at her, it made warmth spread from the top of her head down to the tips of her toes. Goddamn it. It was infectious because she couldn’t help but smile back. “That means a lot. Thank you.”

 

“You don’t haveta thank me.” She retorted with a shrug. “Ma just told me not to lie unless I absolutely had to.” She let out a deep breath and realized that for all he knew she could’ve lied. “And there ain’t no reason for me to lie to a superior officer, so…there.”

 

Steve shot her this shit-faced grin that made her hold back another smile. “You don’t do so swell with the stallions, do yah?” He tried to add a southern drawl to it and even pitched his voice up, but it sounded plain ridiculous from him.

 

Still, it made her snort and she tried to hold back her laughter. “ _Stallions_?” she repeated. “I would’ve said fellas. I ain’t _that_ much of a hick.”

 

“No offense, but I don’t think I could count how many times you’ve said y’all and ain’t since we started talkin’.”

 

Okay. He may have had a point there. “Get a load of you,” she poked him in the middle of his chest playfully. “If only the world saw how mean Captain America is bein’ to me. I’m a sweet ol’ nurse who’s been through a real trauma. What would your boys back there say?” She asked and waved a hand back at the Commandos who were to the back of them.

 

“They’d say you’re a gal that can hold your own and put me in my place.” He paused and cocked his head to the side as he studied her. “Y’know, you’d get along real swell with Peggy. I can’t wait for you to meet her. The first time I saw her, back in basic, she socked it to one of the other soldiers that was bein’…rude.”

 

Not like she would say it out loud, but Quinn did have a little bit of a… _thing_ for ladies that could put her in her place. Back home, Josie had been about the only person that could keep a hold on Quinn. “Sounds like my kinda gal,” she joked. “But how do y’all know I can hold my own?”

 

“The other nurses talked about you a lot when they were fixin’ us up. They said you put a lot of those Hydra soldiers in their place.” He seemed amused when he said, “And they said you kicked Zola the first time he showed up at your cell. I think Buck near about swooned when he heard that.”

 

“Zola?” she asked because any of those men could’ve been whoever that was.

 

“Arnim Zola,” Steve supplied. “He’s the head scientist for Johann Schmidt, the leader of Hydra.” He breathed out through his nose then explained, “Back when I first came overseas, I found out that Bucky’s unit had been captured and I wasn’t about to let them leave him to die, so…I kinda went against orders and went to bust him out. When I found him, turned out that he’d been experimented on by Zola. He still doesn’t talk about what Zola did to him back there.”

 

Quinn could definitely understand the hesitance to talk about it. “So, Zola,” the name tasted sour on her tongue. “That’s the rat bastard that…well you know.” Steve nodded and she swallowed at the lump in her throat. “Good. I’ll make sure to carve his name on the bullet y’all put in his head.”

 

A bout of quiet passed between them. “Maybe…you could talk to Bucky about what happened.” He cleared his throat when she looked at him in confusion. “I worry about him and now I’m worried about you, too. So, if he won’t talk to me and if you won’t talk to your friends…maybe you could talk to each other?”

 

“We’ll see ‘bout it,” was about all she could manage.

 

\---

 

There would always be a special place in her heart for Josephine and she would love that woman until her heart didn’t beat no more, but it would have to be as best friends. And, sure, even when they were going steady, Josie was still Quinn’s best friend. It’s just that there was a lot more kissing and love-making involved. So, no, the reason she was so…spiteful wasn’t the best word—bitter. The reason she was so bitter about meeting Steve and James wasn’t because she was hung up on her first love, but because it hadn’t been fair to Josie. See, Josie had Quinn’s name on her, but Quinn didn’t have the same and what was even worse was that Quinn had _two_ people. If she ever made it back home, she’d have to tell everyone about Steve and James and she knew Josie would pretend to be happy, but she’d hurt nonetheless. In an indirect kind of way, they had hurt Josie and Quinn had been raised up her whole life to keep Josie safe, so anyone that made her best friend hurt immediately had a problem with Quinn.

 

But when she was hunkered down around the fire, lost inside her head which tended to happen a lot, maybe she put the blame on them and that didn’t seem fair to them, either. Deep down, she was hurt because she wasn’t…made _right_. All those people back home that found out about her two marks or found out about Josie and her…maybe they’d been on the spot when they said she was _broken_. It was the only thing that made sense. If she’d been a good person, her soul mark would’ve had Josie on it. And it didn’t take an idiot to see that James and Steve did well by themselves. They didn’t need her to screw up what they already had between them.

 

“Here you are, sweetheart,” someone spoke up from above her and she looked up at the rations held out in front of her face before she looked past it to watch James. “You need some good food.” He made a face then amended himself. “Well, better than what you had in there, anyway.” He made sure to shove it into her hands and for extra measure, or so she guessed, he took a seat beside her.

 

“As sweet as that is,” she handed the rations back to him, “I’m not all that hungry. ‘M just tired.”

 

James hummed, but rather than push her like Steve did, he accepted her answer and put the rations down at their feet. “Don’t you want to move closer to the fire? You’re cold over here by yourself, aren’t yah?”

 

“I’ve had worse.” Quinn scrubbed a hand across her face and let out a deep breath that she’d sucked in. “I appreciate the concern and all, but I think I’ve had more than enough of that from Helen and the girls. Thank yah, really, but I’m okay. Swear on the good book.”

 

He didn’t look all that convinced, but he was respectful enough to not push her anymore. “Okay.” He smiled at her, all charm again. “So, I see you and Steve got on pretty good with each other. Gotta tell you, that was a shocker because Steve…he doesn’t do so well with the dames.”

 

“Trust me. That wasn’t too hard to figure out.” She drawled. “How’d y’all ever end up with each other?”

 

James went real tense beside her and then she remembered that not everyone was as tolerant of that as her. To the rest of the world, if they ever found out about him and Steve, they’d say the two of them were broken, too. “Sorry.” She said quieter. “It’s just that…I have the two of y’all. It’d make sense that the two of y’all had me and each other, too.” Her gaze dropped down to her hands in her lap. “Was that not right?”

 

“No. No, we’re…” He didn’t finish, but she heard enough. Then, he let out a shaky breath and chuckled dryly. “We’ve always been careful about it, y’know? There are only a few people that know about us and they have to keep it a secret. They don’t want the nation to know that the great Captain America is a fairy.”

 

Quinn frowned because she could relate. “Maybe after the war, y’all could tell the country. That’d have to change some people’s minds, wouldn’t it? Y’all shouldn’t have to hide. That ain’t right after all you’ve done for the world.”

 

He turned his head to the side and stared at her funny. “For a dame that just found out her two soul mates are fairies, you sure are takin’ it well.”

 

“Don’t say that.” Quinn hissed and slapped him square in the chest. “You love each other and there ain’t one damned thing wrong with that, y’hear me?” She took a deep breath to calm herself. “Ma and Pa told me you shouldn’t ever be ashamed of who you love…even if the rest of the world don’t understand it so well. As long as it makes sense to you and your love then the rest of the world don’t matter.”

 

“That’s nice and all, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

 

Yeah, she understood that. It was easy for Ma and Pa to say that. They had normal soul marks—same skin color, a man and woman. It had been hard for her and Josie. They were never able to be affectionate down in town. And even when they were careful…well, _that_ happened. “I’m sorry it’s been so hard for y’all.”

 

“It’s worth it.” James replied, expression tender now. “When it comes to Steve, it’s definitely worth it.”

 

There it was again—the feeling that she was _wrong_. All she wanted to tell him was that she was sorry she was about to ruin the years they’d spent with each other. They deserved to have everything with each other and not have her screw it up. It even made her throat close up and tears prick at the corner of her eyes. But she managed to smile at him, even if it was wobbly. “I think I’ll have those rations now, if you don’t mind.” She blurted.

 

“Sure thing, doll,” he winked and handed over the food.

 

Yeah, Quinn didn’t have much of an appetite, but it was better to stuff her face than talk anymore about soul mates.

 

\---

 

“ _Quinn Esther Hayden!_ ” Ma had screeched the moment Quinn stepped foot inside the house, soaked down to the bone. “Is that the new dress I bought yah for your birthday?” Gosh, she never even knew her Ma’s voice could get up that high. Boy, she sure was mad, but it was a good thing that Quinn had someone to blame.

 

“It ain’t my fault, Ma!” The blonde turned around and pointed toward Liam who was near about doubled over because he couldn’t stop laughing. “I was about to go fishin’ with Josie when he snuck up behind me and pushed me in the lake!”

 

That shut Liam up real quick. He gaped at her. “Tattle-tale!” he accused.

 

“Liam. You better get your ass up to your room _now_.” Ma snarled and when she cursed, they knew to run then. “As for _you_ ,” she whirled on Quinn who straightened up at the attention. “Get upstairs and take that dress off. Got no idea what that boy was thinkin’, pushin’ you in the lake like that,” she rubbed her forehead. “It’s _November_. God, go get dressed in some warm clothes before you don’t make it to your eighteenth birthday.”

 

Yeah, Quinn wasn’t about to argue with her about that. The seventeen-year-old rushed upstairs, but did stop to stick her tongue out at Liam when she passed by the open door to his bedroom. The brat deserved it for what he did. Made her look like a fool in front of Josie…

 

The moment Quinn made it to her bedroom and had shut the door behind her, she stripped out of her wet dress and let it drop to the floor to which her brassiere and bloomers followed. Damn it to hell, she’d have to redo her hair, too. And she’d had it all braided, too. With a frustrated sigh, she turned to her dresser, but stopped short when she noticed a spot of black out of the corner of her eye. So, she turned and faced the full-length mirror that Ma had passed down to her a year ago on her sixteenth birthday and stared at her naked reflection.

 

“…the hell?” She questioned and watched as the teenager in the mirror furrowed her brows then moved to touch the black scrawl that ran up and down each of her sides. Then, she blinked as it started to sink in and she quickly bent down to pick her wet dress back up. “No, no, no,” she hissed and started to scrub at the names. “Goddamn it.” She snarled and tried to rub away the names because that _couldn’t be right_.

 

When she had scrubbed so hard until her skin started to get raw and the names _still_ hadn’t wiped away, she screamed then because her mother had to know what to do. “Ma!” and then she started to cry then because _this couldn’t happen_. “Momma, I need you!”

 

Before Ma busted into the room, Quinn had dropped down on the side of her bed and started to bawl like a baby. She only had the decency to use a pillow to cover her private bits, but it was more to hold onto something because she had _two soul mates and neither one of them was Josephine_. Oh, God, what was she supposed to tell Josie? The both of them were supposed to meet up at their barn later on.

 

 

 

“…Quinn?” Helen’s voice cracked and it was probably because she had just woken up.

 

Lord, how come she had to dream about home so much? “’M up,” Quinn moaned but rolled over onto her side in hopes that she could have a bit more sleep. “…gimme a minute.” She breathed out and scrunched her eyes closed when Helen started to shake her. “No.” She snapped and hoped the next time she dreamed that it would be about something happier.

 

“I’m gonna leave your ass behind, Hayden.” Irene snarled and nudged Quinn in the stomach with her foot. She was as much of a crank in the morning as Quinn was and, when she thought about it, the two of them must’ve been twins in a past life because they were damn near identical. “Get the hell up. I want my uniform, some decent food, and a better bed than the nasty ground. You won’t take that away from me.”

 

“Good God almighty,” she grumbled and tugged Steve’s jacket around her as much as she could while she stood to her feet because, for some reason, she had trouble shaking the cold in the mornings. “What time is it?”

 

“Quinn, you’re a nurse in the army. You get up earlier every day.” Betty chided as she walked up to their group. “Do you really have to complain every day when you wake up?”

 

She stared up at the sun, almost petulantly. “Yes, ‘cause I hate wakin’ up at the ass crack of dawn.” Before Betty could complain, the blonde rolled her eyes and said, “I _know_ already. My language ain’t lady like.”

 

“Then don’t do it.” Betty shot back as she shook her head. “The Commandos got breakfast ready for us whenever y’all want to come and get some.” She added before she turned around and headed back over to where everyone was crowded.

 

As Irene chased after her, Helen near about jumped in front of Quinn to cut her off before she could head over and grab some rations. “Are you okay?” It was real hard for Quinn to not roll her eyes and Helen sent a sharp look. “This ain’t about what happened back there. Well, maybe it is a little, but…you were tossin’ and talking in your sleep. It had me real worried. I wanna know that my best gal is doing okay. Is that wrong a me?”

 

Lord knows Quinn would do the same, but she didn’t need anybody to fuss over her. “I…” Still, the girl deserved some peace of mind since she put up with so much of Quinn’s shit. “It wasn’t ‘bout back there. I was dreamin’ of home. The day that I got my mark, actually,”

 

“Didn’t seem like a happy dream to me,” she muttered.

 

“It…was a surprise, is all.” That much was true. “Uh, I was a late bloomer. I never thought I’d ever get it. Called for my Ma and cried like a little babe ‘cause I couldn’t believe it was real.” Yeah, that had all been the truth. So what if she left out the part where it had been an unexpected and unhappy surprise at the time?

 

Helen nodded and looked at her with sympathy. “I guess I forget that some people ain’t as lucky as me who was born with their mark.” Then, she smiled slyly and nudged Quinn with her elbow. “Like I said back there, whoever got your name sure is a lucky fella. You ever gonna tell me their name?”

 

 _Names_ , she wanted to correct, but held back the urge. “Please, you already know it’s your name. You’re my best gal.” She joked because that was about all she could do. There were three people that had her name on them and it seemed like she didn’t fit a single one of them.

 

“You’re such a goof. C’mon, you,” Helen laughed and looped her arm through Quinn’s. “Cheese and crackers, I can’t wait until we’re at a camp. You think there’ll be a town nearby that we can head to? I could use some dancin’.”

 

“I could use a drink.”

 

“ _Quinn_.”

 

“No, no, you’re right. Nothin’ these European taverns got can match the moonshine back home.”

 

“How am I friends with you again?”

 

“Beats me,” and look, another thing she hadn’t lied about. She had no idea how someone as broken as her could end up with such wonderful people around her.

 

\---

 

Maybe Ma had been wrong about God being accepting of anyone, no matter who was on their mark, because it was the only explanation for why they were attacked when they were _so close_ to the rendezvous point. God wanted to punish her. It was about the only thing that made sense. One second, Quinn’s talking to one Timothy “Dum-Dum” Dugan about how she could take him “in an arm wrestlin’ match, I swear on the good book I’ll beat yah,” and then he’d thrown himself over her when there’d been the boom of an explosion ahead of them.

 

Dum-Dum cursed like a sailor above her and, had she not been so busy checking on the people around them, she probably would’ve done the same. “You and the gals find someplace to hide, okay?” He yelled when the cracks of gunfire started to sound around them.

 

Well, she hated to run from a fight, but the other nurses were only used to the fallout of battles, not the actual warfare itself. Hell, neither was she exactly, but she’d shot off guns back home in the woods and had been in some fistfights, so she was a little more accustomed to violence than them. Okay, a whole lot more, but the priority had to be to make sure her girls would be okay.

 

Question was, though, where the hell was they supposed to hide out in the open?

 

A steady stream of curses that would make a seaman wince poured out of her mouth as she tried to run across the wide open area to get to where the other nurses were crowded up. What worked in her favor had been that the gunfire seemed to be focused up on the Commandos and the nurses had moved back toward a cluster of trees that provided some kind of cover for them. God in heaven, she hoped that the Germans would take notice of their white dresses and respect them because it didn’t matter what country a person fought for—a medic was a medic.

 

Then, Quinn remembered the conversation around the campfire and how the Commandos had warned them about Hydra and how those bastards only followed the orders of Johann Schmidt—not Germany, not Hitler. There were no rules that held them back. So, when a man came around the side of the Commandos up ahead, dressed up in a uniform with a skull that had some tentacles around it, and aimed a gun at the lot of them, her immediate reaction had been to charge into him and knock that Nazi bastard to the ground because it hadn’t looked like he was about to respect their positions as medics.

 

The German spat curses from underneath her and went to backhand her across the face, but she caught his arm before he could even try that because, hell no, she refused to have that happen to her again. The fancy gun that she had never seen the likes of before had been thrown out of his arms when she tackled him, but he tried to claw at it. Her heart pounded in her ears and she damn near threw herself off him toward the gun in an attempt to put it out of his reach. So, she scrambled forward and threw the gun a few feet in front of them while she kicked out a leg behind her and kicked him back down.

 

It took every ounce of her strength not to shoot the bastard in the face, but she was a nurse and she had been brought overseas to save as many lives as she could, not add to the body count. And he must’ve noticed how she hesitated because he whipped out another handgun, prepared to shoot, but something whizzed past her shoulder and there was a burst of red from the soldier’s heart before he slumped to the ground. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath before she decided not to even bother to check on him because she’d come to know when a man was dead.

 

Before Laverne nearly ripped her arm off as she dragged her back to the cover of the trees, Quinn had glanced over her shoulder to look for her savior. James had been turned toward her, weapon hiked up in his arms, and she knew that he had been the one because he could see the relief in his eyes.

 

Quinn saluted him with a little smirk.

 

\---

 

There were a whole mess of tears the moment the U.S. Army trucks came into sight and _maybe_ Quinn cried a few of them, but it was mostly because she could warm up and _sleep_ (hopefully). Okay and maybe she was real happy that she and the others had made it out of that hellhole in one piece.

 

Doctors rushed them immediately, but Quinn scampered off into the back of one of those trucks as soon as they had wrapped a blanket around her. Then, she stretched out across the bench and blacked out the moment she was as comfortable as she could be.

 

Either someone checked her over while she was asleep or someone convinced the doctors to let her be, but she never woke up until they made it back to the basecamp.


	3. Raise Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone make sure to bring Johann Schmidt a coat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. This chapter took me a little longer than the last one because it's not exactly a filler (it's too important to the plot), but it was hard to write. That's also why it's a lot shorter than the first two chapters have been. There's not much action other than arguing between Colonel Phillips and Quinn because, yeah, she's hard-headed and he is too, and, well...yeah...  
> Anyway, there isn't much Steve/Quinn/Bucky interaction but there is Peggy/Quinn so woo! I hope I'm being realistic with her character and not making her come off as too whiny? But some traumatic stuff has happened in her past and it's been five years, but it's done some damage to how she sees herself. If any of you want to try and guess, you're more than welcome to.  
> Also, please feel free to leave me some comments! I'd love to hear from y'all! Tell me what I can do better or what you like about it! I'd love you forever and ever! Oh, what the hell, I love you guys just for reading this! You da best! <3
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own no one or nothin' from Marvel!

Unless someone was hurt, there wasn’t much of a need for a physical examination when someone was shipped out overseas—especially when it came to a nurse. Err, well, some soldiers and even some nurses had too much fun under the sheets and needed to be checked out, but Quinn had not been one of those people. Jeez, the last time a doctor had looked her over, and she’d been a willing participant to it, had been when she signed up to become a nurse. And back then, someone may have made a note that she had a two soul marks, but with the looks that doctors and nurses at the base camp gave her now as they patched her up proper, no one must’ve written it down that her soul mates were Captain Steven Grant Rogers and Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

 

As the nurses started to clear out, she started to panic because people loved to run their mouths and what if one of them spilled the beans about her two soul mates? Overseas had supposed to be a fresh start from that shit and she had no idea if she could handle the questions and the stares. Then, when the head doctor told her that there was no sign that she had even been experimented on, she wanted to curl up and cry right there on the spot. What the hell was that supposed to mean, anyway? There wasn’t no sign that she had been experimented on? Would she have to deal with the fallout later on in life? What if she ended up having kids of her own someday? Would something happen to them because of what Zola did to her?

 

Screw it all to hell—if she wanted to cry then you’d best believe she would because it had become too much for her to handle at the moment. Yeah, out there with the other ladies, she’d have to put on a brave face, but there was no one in the medical tent with her now. Everyone had cleared out, probably to report to the proper superior officers, so she had some peace when she buried her face into her hands and started to sob.

 

Just her luck when someone cleared their throat and the blonde looked up to stare at the woman a few feet in front of her. Quinn tried to wipe at her face, opened her mouth to croak out an apology, but the brunette just held out a handkerchief and the nurse had nothing to do but take it from her and try to clean herself up. While she gathered her wits about her, she stared at the gorgeous woman in front of her—dark curls that fell to her shoulders, lips painted red, eyes that conveyed kindness but had a face that could make a person drop to their knees out of fear or because they were awestruck (Quinn was one of the later kind of people).

 

“You’re Peggy.” Quinn blurted out and when the woman raised a brow at her, she rubbed the back of her neck and offered a meek smile. “I was told about yah.”

 

“By Steve, no doubt,” she shot back, voice British but tone dry. “Agent Margaret Carter,” she stuck her hand out.

 

Quinn made sure to wipe her hands across her dress before she took the other woman’s hand. God, she wished someone would let her wash up. “I’m Quinn Hayden. I’m a nurse…but you probably knew ‘bout that already.” Her cheeks heated up and she chewed on her bottom lip because here she was, making a fool out of herself. “A pleasure to meet yah, ma’am,”

 

“And an honor to meet you, Nurse Hayden,” Peggy shot back politely. “Do you mind if I have a seat?” She asked and waved toward the free chair that had been taken up by the doctor not too long ago.

 

“You’re the superior officer here, ma’am. You don’t haveta ask me that.”

 

There was an amused smile in response to that. “Very well then,” she said lowly before she took a seat not too far from where Quinn was sat up on an examination table. “I work under the SSR, the Strategic Scientific Reserve. Colonel Phillips is my superior officer, along with the Captain and the Sergeant’s.” She explained and Quinn wondered why in the world Peggy felt the need to let her know about all that. “Steve and James are being debriefed as we speak, so I’m here to speak with you about what happened.”

 

Sure, she knew the time would come that she would have to open up about what had happened underneath Zola’s scalpel, but she’d hoped she could have a wee bit more time…maybe a few years or something. “What do yah need to know?” She asked and felt a little bad that her tone wasn’t so friendly anymore. Ma would’ve had her head if she knew about how rude Quinn was being, especially with someone that outranked her.

 

“The other nurses have provided us with an extensive report of the ambush and your hold in captivity already,” Peggy started. “And the doctors have given us a report about your physical health. They’ve told us that there appear to be no…outward effects from the experimentation done on you.”

 

“Not sure what you need me for then,” Quinn drawled. “I didn’t spill no state secrets, if that’s what y’all are worried about. ‘Course, I didn’t know much to begin with since, y’know, I’m just a nurse and all.”

 

“Yes. I’m aware of that. You have amazing character. Your fellow nurses and the Howling Commandos can attest to that.” Whatever she was about to say, it mustn’t have been good because her expression softened. “I’m here to speak to you about what happened with Zola. More specifically, we need to know if you were stripped in his presence.”

 

At least she hadn’t toed around the question. Quinn had been grateful for that. But the question made her mouth dry up and body tense up so much that someone could probably break her if they poked her hard enough. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t up and lie to a superior officer. “Yes, they did, ma’am.” She answered because there shouldn’t have been a reason for her to lie, anyway. Technically speaking, other than the experimentation, none of them had violated her.

 

“I can assume Zola saw your soul marks.”

 

Oh. So, _that’s_ what she wanted to know about. “Suppose he did,” she muttered. “Not sure how that matters, though,” she added quickly. “I’m pretty damn sure no Nazis know about the fella underneath that mask, so I’m sure my marks were just some random names to him. He didn’t seem to ask me no questions about them, anyhow.”

 

“You severely underestimate Hydra and their reach.” Peggy retorted and breathed out a frustrated sigh. “When James and his unit had been captured, he had been experimented on, too.” Quinn nodded because, yeah, she’d heard about that. “I wasn’t present at the time, but Steve’s told us that it had been…very bad for James—so much so that he repeated his name, rank, and number.” Now _that_ she hadn’t heard about. God in heaven, what had they done to him? “I’m sure that Zola has some record of James’ own soul marks. Considering that Steve fought tooth and nail to save James and was spotted by Zola himself, I assure you, it shouldn’t take too much longer for the pieces to fit together.”

 

“So what’s it mean for me?” A pause then she added, “And don’t beat around the bush with me. I can take it.”

 

“To be blunt, Nurse Hayden, we have to assume the worst. There’s a target on your back now. Zola could want you back because of the experiments or because of your connection with Steve and James. I’m afraid that you’ll have to keep with our unit. Regular base camps such as this one,” she motioned toward the tent around them for emphasis, “aren’t equipped to deal with Hydra, but we are. We can keep you safe.”

 

“Am I still gonna be a nurse?”

 

Peggy smiled like she had a little secret that Quinn didn’t know about. “I’m not quite sure how it happened, but some strings were pulled for you, nurse. You’re going to become the official medic for the Howling Commandos. You’ll provide medical attention to the Commandos and any other hostages or prisoners of war that you might come across on missions.”

 

“Holy _shit_.” _holy mother of God_ they wanted her to work with the Commandos, as in that ragtag team that worked beside Captain America. Captain America who they wrote comic books about back home and sent moving pictures to the nation back home and even the troops overseas. “Please tell me you ain’t serious.” She blurted because there was no way that she was suited for this kind of hero work. “I’m—there are a lot more better nurses out there than me—people that _deserve_ this kind of chance. Soul mates or not, I ain’t a hero like Steve and James.”

 

The brunette stood to her feet at that and quirked a brow at her before she turned around and headed toward the table on the other side of the tent. There had been a file there that she picked up and opened then spun back around to face the other woman. “There are…quite a number of complaints about your, quote, ‘ _blatant lack of respect for authority’_.”

 

Quinn winced and rubbed the back of her head. “Okay, even _if_ that was true,” then she quickly tacked on, “and it _ain’t_ ,” before she continued. “Those doctors were assholes—pardon my language. No doctor should be able to go around and treat nurses the way some of ‘em have treated me and the gals.” Her lips pursed. “It ain’t a lack of respect, per _say_. It’s more of a lack of respect for people that don’t deserve it.”

 

“Yes, well, aside from those few complaints,” she flipped through some of the other pages. “In captivity, you stood up for your other nurses and cared after them. When the Commandos arrived, you allowed the other nurses and Commandos to have medical treatment before your own. Not accounting for the incident with Hydra, many head surgeons and nurses where you’ve been stationed have complimented your incredible character.” And here she had been sure that she had left more bad impressions behind than good. “So, it’s my personal belief that _hero_ is a very accurate word to describe you, Quinn.”

 

How someone could make her feel stupid as hell but make her head swell at the same time, she had no idea, but it was a no wonder Steve had been so fond of Peggy Carter. The lady sure as hell was a knockout. “Gosh, when yah put it like that…”

 

“You’ll be allowed to wash up, collect your personal belongings, and say goodbye to the other nurses. Tomorrow, we’ll be leaving for the SSR headquarters in London.” The agent explained before she proceeded outside the tent.

 

Tomorrow…London…

 

Whew, wait until she wrote home to the family about that.

 

Hold up.

 

“Agent Carter, what the hell do you mean say goodbye to the other nurses!”

 

\---

 

So, maybe _blatant lack of respect for authority_ had been an on-the-money fact about her. ‘Course, in her defense, some men on their fat asses couldn’t separate her from the women that she had been with since the start. No one would treat Quinn Hayden like a princess that needed to be coddled and locked away in some tower, no sir. It would either be her and them or no one at all and that would be what she told one Colonel Phillips…at least that was who she assumed to be in charge since Peggy told her he’d been her, James, and Steve’s superior officer.

 

Once she had cleaned up and dressed in her winter uniform—sweet Jesus, she had soaked up in the warmth for a good ten minutes before her mind had went back to her mission—Quinn had stormed toward the tent on the outskirts of the base where she’d been told the Commandos and any other SSR agents were set up.

 

Outside the tent, Dum-Dum and Gabe stood, and the both of them had a cigarette in hand. “Howdy, nurse,” the larger of the two exclaimed and beamed at her. “Here for that arm wrestlin’ match?”

 

“Maybe later,” she huffed and glowered at the opening of the tent as she stood to her full height. “Right now, I’m ‘bout to put my foot up someone’s ass.”

 

“ _This_ I gotta see,” Gabe laughed from behind her as she stormed inside.

 

The Commandos were crowded around a chalkboard that had a map stretched across it and in the middle of them had been an older uniformed man. So, that must have been Colonel Phillips. No one noticed her at first, but then Steve and James turned and the two sent her confused looks. But they weren’t who she’d been there to speak with, so she cleared her throat until everyone’s attention was on her.

 

“You must be the nurse.” Phillips assumed.

 

“My name,” she drawled, “is Quinn Hayden…sir.”

 

“What can I do for you, nurse?”

 

It made her jaw clench, but she assumed he would be her superior officer soon, so she needed to show some kind of respect…maybe. “I wanted to speak to you about this whole…situation.” She explained stiffly. “I wanted to know why it’ll be just me goin’ with y’all. I’m part of a _unit_.”

 

“The SSR doesn’t have need for a _unit_ of nurses.”

 

“It’s a _war_. I think you can never have enough nurses, sir.”

 

There’d been a folder in his hand, but he dropped it on the table and sent everyone that even showed a hint of amusement at her statement a sharp look before he stared back at her. “Like I said, nurse,” he started slowly, “we have enough nurses at the SSR. Even if we needed more, funds are tight.”

 

Oh, yeah, big fancy war hero like Captain America and _funds are tight_. “I’ve been with these women since I started out a nurse. You can’t just whisk me away whenever yah want because of a _hunch_. Y’all don’t even know for sure if Hydra knows about me and them.” She waved over at Steve and James.

 

“This is no time for sentiment. You’ve been reassigned to the SSR and you’ll be ready bright and early to ship out to London tomorrow morning.” Phillips declared in a voice that made it clear that was that.

 

Quinn never did learn when to give up a fight. “Sir, no disrespect, but hell’s gonna freeze over before I let this happen.”

 

“Then we’ll have to make sure Johann Schmidt has a nice coat before we escort him to the gates of hell, won’t we?”

 

“You can’t do this—”

 

“I can and I have. So, I’d say my goodbyes if I were you.”

 

Quinn had never wanted to punch a superior officer in the face more than in that moment…and there’d been a doctor that’d manhandled her once before.

 

\---

 

It hadn’t been the smartest idea, but Quinn skipped out on dinner because with her stomach in knots, she wouldn’t have eaten much anyway. Instead, she headed toward the barracks and decided to hide out there until she had to be up early to ship out. Maybe she shouldn’t have been as upset as she was. Hell, the lot of them had been lucky to have spent as much time with each other as they did. Someone was bound to be shipped away eventually.

 

Perhaps Quinn was sore that the world had already started to turn upside down now that she’d met her soul mates and she’d needed more time to prepare. It would have to happen at some point or another. God didn’t let you have a soul mark of a person you’d never meet, but…well, she was rooted in the past, she guessed. When she signed up to be a nurse, she’d meant for it to be a new start for both her and Josie—at least that was what she told Josie, anyway—and it would help them be over what they never should’ve started to begin with.

 

“I’m a mess.” The blonde breathed out as she stared at the picture of home she kept on her no matter what. Ma, Pa, and Liam smiled up at her in the black and white photo and she clutched it to her chest as she leaned back on her cot and curled up underneath her blanket.

 

God to honest truth, she _was_ a mess. Steve and James would be a new start for her. Josie would want her to move on. And Lord knows so would her parents and brother. Any lady would be happy to have Captain America and one of his Howling Commandos as soul mates, have them take care of her out on the battlefield and serve at their side, too. Sure, she was damned honored to serve with them, no doubt about that. Yeah, it seemed like it came down to the fact that she was too stuck up in the past to embrace the future.

 

“Heard you’re shippin’ out with the Commandos,” Helen commented from the entrance of the barracks. “You mind if I come and sit with yah?” Quinn leaned up and made room for the redhead who took a seat next to her and then let out a deep breath. “I knew they’d catch on someday about you.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Quinn asked in confusion.

 

“I knew someone’d figure out that you were a hero.” The other nurse sheepishly confessed. “I’m glad that you’ll be on a team where the whole nation can know about it.” That scared Quinn even worse. What if she ended up messing up so much that it made national news? “So, how come you’ve been in here, sulkin’ about it?”

 

Quinn took a deep breath because this would be one of the last times she’d ever see Helen, so maybe she should fess up to the truth already. “It ain’t ‘cause I’m a hero, Helen. It’s cause I’m the soul mate of Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes.” She confessed. “That man that had me strapped up on the table…he saw my marks and they think he’ll come after me, so they wanna protect me.”

 

Helen’s mouth formed an ‘o’ before she snapped her mouth shut. “Two soul marks, huh?” Then, she beamed at Quinn. “Ah, jeez, now I _know_ you’re special.” The blonde ducked her head out of embarrassment and Helen elbowed her in the ribs. “I don’t understand how come you never told me or anyone else.”

 

“It ain’t normal, havin’ more than one,” she muttered and rubbed the back of her neck.

 

“Who says? God made you that way and he did a good job on you.” Helen explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ll have twice the love and I know you deserve that with how much you’ve taken care of us.” Her smile turned a little watery when she said, “Trust me. I’m gonna miss yah, but this is what you deserve. You deserve the best for what you’ve done for everyone. You’re a hero. The world’s gonna know that now.”

 

“I’m scared.” Quinn admitted and dropped to the side so that she could put her head in Helen’s lap. “I’m real scared ‘bout this. Is that bad a me?”

 

Helen threaded her fingers through Quinn’s blonde hair. “No. I think that makes yah human. Nothin’ wrong with that,” she whispered. “Promise me you’ll write. And don’t let your head get all big and forget about us little people.”

 

“Like I done said before, you’re my best gal. I could never forget about you.”

 

“Y’know, you don’t have to act so brave all the time. ‘S okay to be scared and let people take care of you.”

 

“What if I don’t deserve that?”

 

“Why wouldn’t you?”

 

“Because…” She was broken. She had hurt people she loved. “I’m no good.” That seemed about the best way to sum it up.

 

Above her, Helen hummed and put on her thinking face. “Let me see here, you’re one of the best nurses around. You’ve helped saved a whole bunch of lives. You kept us safe back in that place. You’re always checkin’ on us instead of lookin’ after yourself.” She flicked Quinn’s nose. “Yeah, you’re no good. Not a bit.”

 

“I ain’t gonna win this, am I?” Quinn asked and sighed because, honest, Helen was too good to her.

 

“Absolutely not,” Helen smiled and doubled over so that she could kiss Quinn’s forehead. “Guess it’s good that you’ve got twice the love comin’ your way. You need it.”

 

Maybe she did, but she still didn’t think she deserved it.

 

\---

 

Helen had been the sole person Quinn admitted the truth to. The other nurses assumed her move had been because of her bravery back in the Hydra base and she didn’t much feel to correct them about it. It turned out that the lot of them had been about to ship out to where they were supposed to have gone before the ambush, so she had been able to say her goodbyes to them after all. There were a bunch of tears and Quinn felt so awkward about the whole deal that none of them had been her own, but she would miss them. It broke her heart when she had to load up in the back of the truck with the Commandos and she had to wave to them as the truck headed out.

 

It could’ve been because it was early in the morning or maybe the tearful goodbyes made it awkward, but no one spoke in the back of the truck. It wouldn’t be too much time until they made it to the airplane that would ship them off to London where the headquarters of the SSR resided.

 

Other than when the Commandos had to head out on missions, there surely wouldn’t be much of a use for a nurse such as her. Shit, she really didn’t want to become some glorified secretary or paper pusher. And what the hell would she do when she _was_ out on those missions? What would happen if some Hydra soldiers tried to be handsy with her or shoot her like the last one did? Okay, sure, she knew how to shoot a shotgun and throw fists, but it was nothing compared to what those Hydra men knew.

 

A good ten minutes out, Quinn broke the silence when she whistled to catch everyone’s attention—more specifically Peggy’s who sat up near the front with Steve. “Since y’all already got so many nurses, how ‘bout you make me a SSR agent like you, sugar?”

 

“Never call me sugar again, Miss Hayden.” Peggy called back. “Consider that the first rule of your training.”

 

The Commandos hooted and hollered at that.

 

Quinn couldn’t keep the dopey smile off her face. She was going to be an _agent_ …hopefully.

 


	4. The Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably the best news Quinn gets is that she's now allowed to wear pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man. I never really thought I'd get such positive feedback on this. I can't thank you guys enough for all the hits and kudos and comments! You're all so amazing and fantastic and I have such raging heart eyes for you guys, it isn't even funny. Also, super huge shout out to **Kitsune_Chan** and **Lavanyalabelle** for leaving comments! Y'all da best!  
>  Okay, now that I'm done freaking out, I wanted to warn you guys that it seems like in the movie, Bucky is real protective of Steve. With soul marks added to the equation, I'm sure it's even worse. After all, he'd been there from the start with Steve, loved him when no one else would look twice at him. So, it should be said that just because Quinn's name is on their bodies doesn't make him any less protective. It causes some tension because, honestly, you didn't think everyone but Quinn would be okie-dokie with this situation, did you?  
> Oh, and I've done my research on the types of weapons used back in WWII and Quinn uses them to protect herself. I have literally shot a gun once in my life when I went to camp back in the fourth grade and I had to learn about them in my forensics class in high school and that's about the extent of my knowledge of guns. Well, that and my dad and brother go hunting themselves. Anyway, if I completely butcher anything, just let me know.  
> As always, feel free to leave comments, kudos, or whatever! You're the best no matter what! <3
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone from Marvel, yo!

_Pants_ , Lord in heaven, she could wear _pants_. Hands down, that had to be the best part of the SSR because, sure, dresses were real nice and all, but when it snowed and rained, they were _horrible_. Back home, when there hadn’t been a need for them to head down into town and it was real cold, Ma would let her run around in some pants, but the army had shot that horse in the face. And, okay, so the pants were to be used when she trained and went on missions—since a stark white dress would make her one hell of a target. But, from what she had heard, missions came for the Commandos _a lot_ , so pants! Quinn had tried real hard to be casual about her excitement, but pants! Practical, warm, not a sore on the eye pants!

 

Dressed in her black pants, a crisp white button-down shirt, and with her hair pinned back, Quinn tried not to look too bonkers as she strolled to meet up with her brand new handler, but it was hard to keep the bounce out of her steps. Maybe if the army had let her sleep in a little more like the SSR did then she would have as much pep as she did now.

 

When she stopped at the front desk, Private Lorraine—and wow, was it mandatory to be beautiful to work for the SSR or what?—sent her a little smirk then directed her to where she’d meet up with Peggy…which happened to be a gun range. There was an assortment of weapons spread out on a table near the shooting range when Quinn showed up and there also happened to be more of a crowd than she’d expected there to be. Steve shot her a sheepish grin, but all that James could muster up with was a smile. Thank God it wasn’t her that couldn’t function much in the mornings, either—though it seemed to be worse for him.

 

“Quinn,” Peggy greeted politely. “Before we start, there are a few matters we need to attend to.” The blonde nodded because she _had_ expected that. “The Colonel’s approved this, but your first and foremost priority will be as a nurse, not an agent. Do you understand?”

 

“‘Course,” Quinn answered.

 

“Due to this, you’ll be on the move quite a bit and I do have my duties here at headquarters.” From how that came out, it sounded like she was about to be told there wouldn’t be much time for her training. “To make up for this, Steve will take over your training when you’re not here in London.”

 

“Wonder how that happened to come about,” she drawled but it came out as a tease than a snap.

 

James shot her a crooked, but tired, smile. “No idea.”

 

Peggy cleared her throat and all attention moved back to her. “I assume you understand?” Quinn nodded and the other woman continued on with, “Today, we’ll work with firearms.” She waved toward the table. “I prefer handguns and seeing as I’m sorely lacking in my skills with rifles, James volunteered to step up. He’s the most proficient sniper on the Commandos team.” Steve cleared his throat and Peggy raised a brow. “It would be farfetched to say he’s the best in the armed forces, wouldn’t it?”

 

“Of course not,” the dark-haired man spoke up and winked at Steve who smiled back in response. “Thanks for standin’ up for my excellent skills, pal.”

 

Quinn didn’t mind them much as she stepped ahead and stared over the weapons. There wasn’t much, really, because there weren’t too many weapons available to the army by way of personal ones that soldiers kept on their persons, but there did happen to be a Winchester and _that_ she was all for. So, without so much of a word from Peggy, Quinn loaded up the shotgun and turned around to walk toward the range. It’d actually been awhile since she’d had time with a shotgun, but it was second nature to her. It may’ve been Steve that tried to warn her, but she hoisted the shotgun up and let loose a blast that sprayed across the center of the target’s chest up ahead. She pumped the weapon again and then aimed to fire at the head. To her great personal satisfaction, the spray landed directly across the face.

 

As she spun around to face the trio, there was a shit-eating grin stretched across her face. “What? Y’all expect a gal from Kentucky can’t shoot a gun?” Okay, so she may’ve been one of the few in town that could, but her parents had always raised her up to be practical…and to send her out to hunt when Pa didn’t feel up to it. “Had to put supper on the table somehow, didn’t I?” She joked.

 

Impressed didn’t seem to be the right word for the expression on Peggy’s face, but it was pretty damn close to it. “It’s good to know you’re not completely incompetent.” Quinn didn’t know the other woman too well yet, but that was a compliment if she ever heard one. “Do you have any experience with any other weapons then?”

 

Quinn gingerly placed the Winchester back onto the table and examined the other ones. “I know how to skin fish and animals. Does a knife count?” James snorted and the blonde’s nose scrunched up. “Guns are expensive, y’know. Ma and Pa were thinkin’ ‘bout buying one for Liam for his sixteenth birthday, but other than that, we haven’t needed another one, anyway.” She defended. “Bet I had more experience than y’all did when you started.”

 

“I can’t say much about James, but you certainly have more experience than Steve.” Peggy agreed and ignored the pout that Steve sent her. When James busted out in laughter, Steve elbowed him in the ribs while his face slowly started to turn red. “Where would you like to start?” She asked Quinn, still completely ignoring the two men.

 

“Guess we can start with the Springfield?” She mused and nodded toward the sniper rifle. “Can’t be that much different than a shotgun, right?”

 

As it turned out, the sniper rifle had been a lot more different than a shotgun. Part of it had been because, with the Winchester, there was a spray of bullets that were a sort of cushion if your aim wasn’t the best, but with the Springfield, a shot had to be dead on the money. Also, it was a little bit longer than the Winchester, so it became a little hard for her to adjust to that, too. Still, it didn’t compare to how horrible she did with the Colt pistol. One would think that a nurse could keep her hand steadier, but the handgun revealed that she had a hard time doing that. And it was so… _tiny_. Her body always tensed up before she fired because she was so used to there being a backfire like there was with larger weapons and Peggy kept lecturing her about how she needed to relax.

 

By the end of their session at the range, it’d been decided that because she was best with a Winchester—even though they weren’t common for soldiers to have in Europe—that’d be on her person on missions. Of course, Quinn didn’t plan to use it that much and she told the three as much because people were no doubt going to try and kill her, but she was a nurse above all else.

 

People had died under her watch before, even under her hand when a doctor had been preoccupied with another soldier, and that haunted her. Some of those faces had been burned into the back of her head and sometimes, when she went real low, she’d think about how she could’ve done more to save them. Helen had told her, “ _My momma told me this story once, that sometimes God can get a little lonely up there in heaven. That’s why people die even when we don’t want ‘em to. He needs some company. You can’t do much when it’s His will, honey,”_ and she couldn’t do much about what God wanted, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. When it came down to it, even if it’d mean her own death, there was no way that she would be able to put someone in the ground.

 

“We should work on your hand-to-hand combat next.” Peggy commented as the two women walked down a hallway, Steve and James a little ways behind them. “Should I assume that you have some experience in that field as well?”

 

Quinn shot her a crooked smile. “Why, Agent Carter, you know me so well.” The brunette responded with a little smile of her own. “Before I shipped out, Pa made sure to teach me how to throw fists proper because he said that ‘no damn sauerkraut is gonna put his hands on you, lass’.” She lowered her voice and added in an Irish drawl to imitate her father. “But I don’t know if he knew that I’ve been in tussles before that. I’m…scrappy.”

 

“You’re not a proper lady, are you?”

 

“This comin’ from you?” she retorted. “It’s not like I don’t know _how_ to be a proper lady. Ma made sure I knew that. But she and Pa raised me and Liam up to be practical. And neither of ‘em would approve of me bein’ in fights, but I…” She paused and chewed on her bottom lip. “People ran their mouths and that’d be fine if it were about me, but ain’t no one gonna talk about the people I care about. If it takes some punches and kicks to make sure they know that, so be it.”

 

That made Peggy stop in her tracks and turn to the side and face Quinn. Then, her eyes moved to the two men down the hall and Quinn followed her gaze, more than a little confused. “Yes, I do believe I see it now.” She mused, more to herself than anyone, and then turned around and started ahead as if nothing had happened.

 

\---

 

Okay, yeah, Quinn knew she hadn’t been some world-class boxer, but she had expected to last a little more than a minute before the brunette had her knocked on her ass…and she was offended, honestly. The blonde had been thankful both Steve and James had been whisked away to meet up with the good Colonel—“about a new assignment, no doubt,” Peggy had pointed out when they walked out of the gym—because no one else had to be there to watch her make a fool of herself. Jeez, either the boys back home had been even worse than her or Peggy could make a career out of boxing if the SSR didn’t work out for her.

 

“You have no technique.” Peggy explained as she helped Quinn back up to her feet. “You can’t throw yourself at a man and hope to live.” Well, technically, she _had_ done that. Oh, wait, James had to shoot that soldier before he shot her. So, maybe Peggy was spot on about that. “We have our work cut out for us.”

 

Quinn went red in the face. “I wasn’t _that_ bad, was I?”

 

“Hydra soldiers have much more extensive training than run-of-the-mill German soldiers.” which must’ve meant that with moves like hers, she wouldn’t last a second with a Hydra soldier. “When you’re on assignments with the Commandos, I suggest you work with Steve on your combat skills as much as possible. You can protect yourself with your hands, but you’re also less likely to kill someone with them alone.”

 

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

 

“May I ask you a personal question, Quinn?” Peggy suddenly asked, more serious than she had been before. Still, there couldn’t have been much harm so she nodded in response. “You don’t exactly have the air of someone who found her soul mates. You seem completely unimpressed with Steve and James, which I understand completely, but—”

 

Her nose scrunched up. “I ain’t that obvious about it, am I?” Her eyes moved around the room, to make sure they were really alone. “Promise not to tell ‘em?” How she saw it, Peggy and her would be working real close in the future and if she lied—which she had no doubt that the other woman would know if she did—it could mess up the trust between them which, so early on, would be real bad.

 

“I’m not much for gossip.”

 

“There was someone I was…real close with back home. They had my name on them.” As modern as Peggy seemed, she could never be too safe when it came to her…fancy for both ladies and men. “We grew up with each other and I never had my mark, but I always figured it’d be them when that time came.” Rather than look the other woman in the eye, she tried to smooth down her shirt. “It didn’t turn out that way, ah course. We tried to keep it up, me and this friend of mine, but it didn’t last.”

 

Peggy cocked her head to the side. “Are you still in love with them?”

 

“I…” Her brows furrowed and she tried to find the best way to explain herself. “It’s not romantic anymore, but that don’t mean I don’t love ‘em. They’re always gonna be my best friend. I think what has me most upset was that…I never expected this to happen. Now that I’ve met them…well, you’ve seen ‘em. They do fine without me there to mess it up.” She waved toward the exit of the gym where they’d left earlier. “I didn’t match up with my friend back home. I don’t match up with them. I’m a defect and that ain’t such a nice feelin’.”

 

“Defect is a bit dramatic, isn’t it?” She drawled as she rolled her eyes. The action made Quinn feel a lot better. “Do you _want_ to be with them? A mark is a mark unless you put some importance to it,” she added. “You’re the only person that should control your fate.”

 

Wow. No one had ever told her _that_ before. “I don’t know.” Quinn paused and shook her head. “Maybe…I’d want to try? But like I done said, they do fine without me in the picture to mess it up.” She chewed on her bottom lip and looked at Peggy nervously. “Do you know what _they_ want?”

 

“Steve is an open book. You’re not so stupid that you can’t see what he wants…or so I hope.” She shrugged. “James, on the other hand, is trickier to read. I do know he can be very…possessive of Steve. Given their circumstances, it’s easy to see why. For all his appearances, he may not be so welcoming. Of course, I could be completely wrong.” She then sent Quinn a pointed look. “Perhaps you should _speak_ with them about this rather than me. That would make things much simpler, I assure you.”

 

“I ain’t ever been the best with words.” Quinn admitted.

 

“I couldn’t tell.”

 

“Aw, you don’t have to be so mean about it.”

 

“Let’s continue with the lesson, shall we?”

 

\---

 

Here Quinn had hoped there would be some more time for her to train before she was hauled out on a mission with the Commandos, but that turned out to be a bum deal. Still, from how it’d been painted to her, it didn’t seem like it would take too much time. Pretty cut and dry, really—head in and take out a small Hydra base. Honest, she wanted to ask how come they were so preoccupied with such a small fry place, but there’d been some intel that Zola had hidden out there and not much else needed to be said to put her on board.

 

The trip to the base took an hours-long plane trip and then a truck ride because, surprise, the woods were too thick for them to drop in. She wasn’t about to dish out credit to mass murdering psychopaths, but if she ever would, she’d say that Hydra was pretty damn smart with where they hid out. Thank God Peggy made those SSR people back at headquarters supply her with some boots because heels were fucking _horrible_ in the woods. It didn’t seem like her feet had ever stopped aching after that two day hike the first time she met up with the Commandos. Also, thankfully, Peggy made a little white armband with a red cross on it a part of her uniform, too.

 

There were no ambushes on their way up to the base—but that didn’t mean much on the way back down. So, they were able to find a nice vantage point for James to hole up in and keep an eye out on the whole operation. It’d been decided that the best course of action for _her_ was to keep back with him. Unless she was needed immediately—“because I ain’t gonna sit around on my ass if one of y’all needs my help just ‘cause some people want to shoot at me, Captain.”—then she’d wait until the rest of the boys were back to patch them up, any and all POW’s included.

 

It’d take a little bit for the action to kick into gear because they were at least going to try and sneak in. The boys had _some_ brains, at least. So, she had been forced to sit around and watch James as he settled down on his stomach, rifle at the ready. It looked…modified somehow.

 

“I overheard your conversation with Agent Carter.”

 

Quinn blinked and moved her gaze from the weapon to James who had turned on his side and stared at her with a very neutral expression—almost like he wanted to wait to see how she reacted before he let her in on his feelings. “Well,” she drawled and leaned back against her tree. “That explains why you wanted to keep me close so bad.”

 

“I had to talk to you before this…thing could go any further.” James explained. “I don’t want Steve to get hurt.”

 

It offended her that he’d even assume she’d want to. “I’m not out to hurt him, y’know.”

 

“Then how come you ain’t told him you’re in love with your dame back home?” For a second, her heart seized up. It’d become second nature for her to freeze on the spot when someone talked about that. James must’ve seen the panic on her face because it made him soften up a bit. “You were real careful not to say it was him or her any which way. It makes sense with how you were pretty easy-goin’ when I admitted to me n’ Steve.”

 

A few minutes passed before her terror calmed down, but she couldn’t swallow down that lump in her throat. “Now you done heard my speech. You know I don’t love her like that no more. And the reason I haven’t told y’all is…well, it’s in the past. I don’t hold any torches for other people.” Backed into a metaphorical corner, Quinn did what she did best and tried to snap back. “So you really are possessive of him, aren’t yah?”

 

“This isn’t about me.” There was a chill in the air and it wasn’t exactly because of the weather. “Steve always didn’t look the way he does now. Before he became so famous, he was this…skinny little thing. I could fit my both my hands around his waist, he was so tiny.” He pulled a square piece of paper out of his pocket and showed it to her. When she leaned in closer, she could see a picture of Steve but Lord he _was_ tiny. Same face, but he was damn near a stick with hands and feet. “Yeah, after five goddamn tries, the dumb lug went and signed up for some secret program when the army wouldn’t take him. They made him into some super soldier, but—”

 

Quinn jumped in to say, “But you were there since the start.” Maybe James was as much an open book as Steve. A person just had to know how to read him was all. “And all these people appreciatin’ him don’t make you happy ‘cause they never would’ve done it before.”

 

“Even before we had our marks, we were best friends and I’d always look out for him. Idiot when and got into fights with fellas twice the size of him.” He scoffed. “We didn’t have our marks until we were about sixteen and there’d always been this…thing between us, but we were too scared to admit it. So, I’d try to set him up with dames, but no one would even look at him twice.”

 

“I don’t see why not. Sure, he’s a stick of a thing but he’s pretty damn handsome. And if his attitude is the same as now…God, you didn’t have the best taste in gals, did you?” She shook her head in disbelief. Sure, he used to be small, but it ain’t all about looks. You should love someone based on more than that. “Anyway, the only reason I ain’t gonna deck you here and now for thinking that all I care about is his looks is ‘cause we’re on mission.”

 

James didn’t look convinced. “You can’t blame a fella for worryin’, can you?”

 

“I understand you wanna protect him, but Steve should be able to make up his own mind.” _But_ , “you’re a part of this too, though, so if you want me to back off, I’ll try and let him down easy. Even from the start, I knew y’all were perfect for each other. You don’t need me to come between that.”

 

There was a pause, like he wanted to think her offer over. “I haven't made my mind up yet. Guess I wanna see how you and Steve get along and he likes you, I can tell. So, I don't want you to let him down yet. See, part of the reason I didn’t want Steve over here’s because he’s so…tender-hearted. He hates bullies, but he’d also offer to buy the same fella a beer next time he saw him—even when they’d near about beaten him to death. And it almost killed him when his Ma passed, God rest her soul." He sucked in a deep breath and smiled dryly. "War ain’t a place for someone with such a big heart.”

 

Quinn tried not to feel upset about the fact that, as James talked about Steve with such love and affection, she was an outsider. “I don’t know. Maybe the world needs some more love.”

 

“Why’s it have to be Steve to carry that burden?”

 

“Maybe because he’s the man for the job,” her blue eyes moved upward to the skies. “Maybe that’s why God gave him two soul mates instead of one. So that the two of them could work together and give him the love back that he has to share with the whole world.”

 

“That’s a real interesting way to think about it, doll.”

 

“I’d like to think there’s some kinda reason that I have these marks on me other than to be a defect.”

 

A tense bout of quiet dropped between them, but before Quinn had the chance to dwell about the conversation, the cracks of gunfire echoed across the distance and up to where they were hidden. Automatically, the blonde dropped down onto her belly so that she could lay next to James and watch the scene play out.

 

Quinn could only hope that no one would need a medic down there.


	5. The First Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn has an idea. Steve has the same idea. Maybe the three of them are more alike than she originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, first I was sick then I needed to work on my big bang for another fandom then it was time for finals during school then it was the holidays. Is this working? No? Yeah, I literally have no excuse for how late this chapter is. I was doing super good, but then I kinda just hit a bad spot with it. I kept having to rewrite it over and over because it didn't just seem right. But I finally got it to a place where I like it.  
> So, there's a brief mention of what Zola did to Quinn. I'm not sure if it's enough to trigger anyone. It's literally just a brief mention. But I thought I'd warn you about it, anyway. Just in case. Also, I have some more notes at the end that explain some more things, but I couldn't do it here because I don't want to spoil what happens.  
> Thanks for being so patient! And thank you for leaving me comments! You have no idea how much I appreciate it and love you for it! <3
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own Marvel or any characters from it. All I own is my brain children.

Once the Commandos had swarmed the base and no more people could be seen outside it, there was a pause in the violence that made her more nervous than when it’d all started. There wasn’t much that she or James could do from outside and there was no way for them to know whether or not someone was hurt unless a Commando ran out to scream up at them and that made her twitch. Quinn hated to be useless, wait around until the bad shit happened, but who didn’t when it came to this war? But no sound echoed up to them from inside, so she assumed it must’ve been okay in there, that there was no trouble and that helped her calm down a bit, but _only_ a bit.

 

The blonde took a deep breath and maneuvered herself so that her arms were crossed in front of her and she could set her chin down on top of them. There wasn’t much that she could do for them in there, but…well, maybe she could make up her lies to James. “Some shit happened to us. It was bad.” She spoke up out of the blue and the sudden noise when it’d been so quiet before must’ve startled him a little, but he recovered and turned to look at her with a raised brow. “My old flame,” she reiterated. “Josie and me…we went through some hard times. I, uh, don’t talk about it that much. ‘S another reason I kept the two of us to myself. It’s hard not to think about it and I hate that, y’know? Sometimes, the hard shit swallows up all the nice stuff me and her had.”

 

James decided to move his head back around and keep an eye focused down the scope of his rifle, but he asked, “So what happened?”

 

“Not so sure yah understood the part where I said I don’t wanna talk about it.” She tried to curl further into her coat and maybe it wasn’t because she was only cold. “But I wanted to help explain how come I kept it a secret. You understand that don’t yah? I even have bad dreams about it now n’ then. It hurt us both real bad, what happened. Tore us up,” she remarked bitterly then snorted. “But now it seems like all I can dream ‘bout is that lab.”

 

He made a noise under his breath but she had no idea what it meant. “Steve didn’t try and force you into talkin’ to me about it, did he? I ain’t interested.”

 

“See how he looks at yah sometimes,” she murmured. “He’s worried and I can’t blame him. Still, he doesn’t understand like I do…’bout what happened in there. ‘Course, I don’t know if Zola treated you the same as me, but I’m sure it wasn’t no picnic. So, I never did tell Steve I’d talk one way or another.” Quinn tilted her head to the side so she could look at him, brows furrowed. "What happened in there’s between us, God, n’ Zola is how I see it. But…you can talk to me.” She admitted. “Like I said, it wasn’t the easiest underneath that knife. Sometimes, I wake up from those bad dreams and itch. I damn near scratch my skin off from where I dreamt he ran his knife over before he really broke the skin.”

 

The brunet took his own deep breath before he leaned back from his weapon and sat up on his ass. “‘M sorry, sugar.” He whispered and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. “He never…” He looked out at the horizon for a moment, eyes unfocused, as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. “Guess the fucker was one of those types that gets a kick outta hurtin’ ladies.” He said once his focus moved back to her. “He hacked at me without none of those games.”

 

Quinn followed his lead and leaned back to sit up herself. “That doesn’t much surprise me. Man was a rat bastard,” she whispered and shakily accepted a drag from his cigarette before she passed it back to him. “Well, the point of this was to say that I’m sorry I kept Josie a secret. But everyone has them and I don’t think you can much blame me. Three of us have each other on our skin, but we ain’t known each other that long—you two don’t know me, anyway. I wanna trust y’all, ah course, but it’s…hard to admit shit like that out loud. I’ve known Josie since I was a kid and I couldn’t talk to her about what happened.”

 

“Whatever it was, it must’ve been horrible ‘cause, sweetheart, you sure do talk a lot.”

 

Her nose scrunched up in distaste at the tease and she elbowed him in the side which made him send her a crooked smile. “I wanna make amends here, asshole.” Her face heated up and she stared at the dirt underneath her. “I’ll…tell Steve ‘bout it, I swear. You both deserve to know how come I can be…cold about the soul mates deal at times.” She tucked her knees up to her chest and shoved her chin on her knees. “I don’t mean to be. It just…scares me…”

 

“Yeah, love can do that to a person.” He admitted and blew out a little cloud of smoke. “Jesus, my whole life, Steve’s been like the sun to me. Whole world revolved around that asshole even before we knew we were soul mates,” he admitted. “I met that kid when he was a fuckin’ twig and he stood up to these kids three times his size. Y’know, when I saw him, I couldn’t help but think ‘ _what a stupid little punk_ ’. I still think that now.” A cool breeze blew across the two of them and he moved closer to her, maybe out of instinct. “Before I knew it, here I was, comin’ home with scrapes and bruises ‘cause I couldn’t let that little shit duke it out on his own. Now…” His brows furrowed. “Now, I kill for that goddamn idiot and it don’t even bother me one bit and that scares the fuck outta me—that I don’t mind the blood on my hands because he’s safe another day more.”

 

“No. It’s not love that scares me.” She paused then said, “Well, not love exactly.” She huffed because she never could speak words the best. “I’m scared to love after Josie. She’d never blame me, but I know it was my fault—what happened with us. And…I don’t wanna hurt people…especially not you or Steve.” Tears stung at the corners of her eyes and she tilted her head forward to wipe them away with her pants. “Like I said, you two do so nice on your own. You’re perfect with each other and any idiot with a brain can see that. I…don’t match anywhere. Don’t deserve anyone,”

 

James moved closer to her, so close but not where they touched. “I don’t know much ‘bout you and that’s the problem I have with this.” He explained. “If we’d met back in Brooklyn, before the war, when we were kids, then maybe it’d be easier for me to take. But you came outta nowhere and Steve thinks the world of yah already. But he’s always been attracted to people that won’t take none of his stubbornness. I’m man enough to admit that I’m—” he stopped and huffed. “You have to understand. The world never would’ve taken a second to look at him before he turned into that fuckin’ work of art. But even when he was a stick, I loved him. I hate people that see Captain America and no one else. I’m terrified you’ll come into this and break his heart when all you are is star struck at the American hero bit. Can’t risk that, so I wanted to scare yah away.”

 

That made sense, but, “Gonna be a little bit star struck since he did save me ‘n all.” She tucked her chin back atop her knees so her voice wasn’t muffled anymore. “I didn’t kid around when I told Peggy I wanted to try with y’all. See, all I’m gonna know is Captain America unless I have the chance to know Steve—same as you’ll be James Barnes until I have the chance to know Bucky.” His lips pursed at that and she shrugged. “I’m scared, yeah, but I’m fuckin’ stupid as shit, too. Y’all’ve been on my skin since I was seventeen and, well, I wanna know what all the fuss is about. It’s not like I’m not impressed or nothin’ by y’all.” She smiled shyly. “So…maybe we could try and be friends first?”

 

James reached out and rubbed a hand over her back. “Yeah, I think I can try that. Like I said, Steve thinks the world of yah and it wouldn’t be fair of me to not try it out. You’re on my skin as much as I’m on yours.” He eyed her. “And I have to admit, I do love a dame that can kick an ass or two.”

 

“So, both of yah like it when a gal can put yah in your place?” Quinn questioned with a certain type of glee. “Boy oh boy, is it Christmas or what?”

 

“Uh huh,” he withdrew his hand and elbowed her in the ribs like she’d done to him earlier. “Like you ain’t attracted to it, either. I’ve seen how you look at Agent Carter. I’d be offended if Steve didn’t look at her the same way.”

 

“What?” Quinn squeaked. “I don’t—I mean it’s—she’s very—” she sputtered before she abruptly stumbled to her feet and waved toward the base. “Gonna head down there and see if they need some help.” He had a shit eatin’ grin on his face that made her cheeks hot. “Shut the hell up, asshole.”

 

“Sure you wanna be my friend, sweetheart?” James called as she retreated down to the base.

 

\---

 

Before Quinn had shown up on the Commandos team, Jim Morita had been the medic for the squad. Back before the lot of them headed out on their mission, she’d wanted to speak with him because she was a decent person and didn’t want to kick anyone out of their job. It surprised her when he didn’t seem to be that torn up about it and that’d made her feel a whole lot better about the whole situation. Apparently, he hadn’t had much time as a medic before Hydra captured him, but Steve didn’t want to let him run off and not be on their team and it’d been hard enough as it was to keep him and Gabe on the team so they needed to come up with some kind of special skillset for him to have. That was how he became their medic.

 

How he saw it, the two of them could learn from each other because, sure, Quinn had some more extensive book smarts when it came to medical knowhow, but he knew how to sew a man up when explosions were going off around you. Plus, it’d be helpful for him to learn those textbook medical skills because there were people that wanted to be rid of him and Gabe, even when every man on that team had shown their worth out in the battlefield. It’d put a bad taste in her mouth when he put it like that and she swore that she’d help that man however she could. She’d never faced it herself, but she’d seen the bitterness and frustration Josie, her momma, and little sister had because of their treatment since their skin color was different.

 

So, when she entered the open space that looked like it was some kind of warehouse rather than a secret Nazi hideout, she made sure to remind herself to head to see Jim before she went to have her chat with Steve. The mission came before her own problems and, honest, she needed some time to gather up her courage. James…well, no offense meant, but he’d proven to her that he had his flaws, was selfish and plain old human. Steve, on the other hand, he didn’t seem like he had much wrong with him compared to her or James. She could see how James would think of him as the sun. And, of course she knew that no one was perfect, but he seemed as damn near close as a person could be to it. So, she was afraid that he wouldn’t want a part of her no more after she admitted to her faults and that scared her. Sure, she knew she didn’t deserve it, but no one wanted to be truly alone and she was terrified to be alone…especially stranded overseas without her family to fall back on.

 

As she shook her head, tried to shove her fears back down into that box inside her brain, her gaze moved over to men propped up against the wall. Some of them chatted with each other, but most of them seemed more preoccupied with shoving bread in their mouths and chugging down water from canteens. Quinn frowned because she’d heard stories from doctors at the bases she’d be stationed at, about men who were starved and how it wasn’t the best for them to eat or drink so much in that state.

 

“Howdy fellas,” Quinn called out to them and approached the line of men with a smile. “Name’s Quinn Hayden,” she greeted and turned so they could see her armband. “I’m the nurse for the Commandos.”

 

“Didn’t know the Howling Commandos even had a nurse,” one of the men shot back through a mouthful of bread.

 

She rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s as new to me as it is to y’all,” she muttered then cleared her throat. “Look, I know y’all must be starvin’, but you have to promise to slow down.” A few of them looked shocked and she put on the sternest face that she could. “It could make yah sick or worse, okay? You can eat and drink, but do it _slower_. I’m here to help, but I ain’t above having the Commandos come in here and take that food from you so I can ration it out.”

 

“Well, that Japanese fella didn’t say shit about us havin’ to eat slower.” Another man sneered underneath his breath, but she heard it since it was so quiet in the place. Someone had the decency to whack him over the head for her.

 

“Sure he was a little too busy with the team,” she tapped the red cross of her armband. “I’ve been trained. I know what I’m about, honey.”

 

“I’d listen to her, boys.” Jim called out from behind her and she looked over her shoulder to watch him approach them. “She’s a hell of a lot more experienced than me.” She frowned at him because that wasn’t true. Every person had their own kind of experiences to add to the table and who was to say she had more than him?

 

That one asshole seemed to be about the only person to run his mouth about it, but a stern look from Jim put an end to that. It bothered her that the men wouldn’t even mind her until Jim came and told them to. ‘Course, it didn’t much surprise her. A man never wanted to listen to a woman, even when she had more knowhow than him in certain areas. For a second, she thought about Peggy, about how much that woman must’ve went through to be where she was. Quinn had a fuck bunch more respect for her that was for sure.

 

“Quinn,” Jim said, all seriousness. “I was about to come for you. Cap’s down.”

 

Quinn’s heart seized up in her chest. “What?” Oh, God. What happened? Fuck, she needed to see him. No. Someone needed to run for James. He’d said that Steve was a super soldier, so he knew more about Steve’s body than her. “What do yah mean he’s down? What the fuck happened? Why’re you here for me? Why ain’t you with him?”

 

“He wasn’t shot and he’s healed up from his cuts and bruises, so I don’t know what happened.” Jim tried to soothe, but didn’t look any less concerned. “One second, he’s barking orders and the next, he’s unconscious.” He rummaged around in his pack and pulled out a folder. “Here’s the medical records on him. I meant to look it over with you. Not sure if they told you, but he had some experiment done on him—”

 

“Yeah, Sarge told me about it,” she waved a hand then snatched the file from him. “Super soldier, yeah?” He nodded in answer to her question. “Yeah, okay, yeah,” her brows furrowed and she briefly looked over the notes. “You should run and grab James—uh, Bucky. He’s Cap’s best friend and I’m sure he knows more about Steve than I do. Maybe he can help us out. Plus, he deserves to know.”

 

“I’ll send Dum-Dum out for him.”

 

Quinn nodded then said, “Well, c’mon, show me where he’s at.”

 

As Jim led her down a hall that echoed as the Commandos spoke with one another up ahead, the nurse kept her attention focused on the file in her hands. She leafed through the various photos that showed Steve before and after his procedure, information on the doctor that had created the serum—Abraham Erskine, but his photo had DECEASED stamped across it—and then facts about what the serum had affected in Steve’s body. Jeez, his metabolism burned four times faster, his mental capacity was increased, the rate he could heal was so much faster, and that didn’t even count the obvious increased stamina and strength.

 

“Grab Jimmy for us, Dum-Dum,” Jim ordered as the two of them entered the mess hall. Dum-Dum muttered something in response, but she didn’t mind him much as she walked over to where Steve was sprawled out across a wooden table. The boys cleared some room for her and it made her feel relieved that they were so protective of their leader with how they hovered around him.

 

Their said leader had an arm thrown over his eyes and, had she not known about the whole super soldier deal, she would’ve guessed that he was exhausted. “Steve, sugar, yah with me?” Quinn asked and reached out to touch his cheek. He moved his arm up so that, rather, it was over his forehead and she rubbed his cheek with her thumb. “Hey, there he is. Wanna let me in on what happened?”

 

“Guys’re overreactin,” he whispered. “’M fine,” then, even quieter, he added, “you’re not gonna tell Buck, are you?”

 

She winced. “ _Well_ …”

 

James probably ran down to the warehouse whenever Dum-Dum went for him because, at that exact second, the door to the mess hall slammed open and Steve groaned in frustration. Quinn looked over her shoulder and had to chew on her lip to hold back her smile because the two of them were like a couple of kids. One did something stupid and the other had to bail their ass out. James stormed over toward them, looked pissed as all hell, and it was probably because he assumed Steve went and threw himself in front of a bullet or something.

 

“Gonna ask you some questions,” she drawled as she turned to stare back down at Steve. “Keep down until I say you can sit up,” she snapped and shoved at his shoulders when he tried to lean up. “Don’t even try and say you’re fine ‘cause I ain’t stupid enough to believe that, Rogers.” It’d take some force to break through his rock-hard head, no doubt.

 

“Yes, ma’am,”

 

“Now—and don’t lie to me, Steve—you feelin’ any aches or pains?”

 

“Maybe a little sore?” His brows furrowed and he wriggled around on the table, as if to test out and see if any other part of him hurt. “And, um…” A hand flew down to his stomach and he had a pinched expression on his face. Quinn hummed and batted away his hand to replace it with hers. A little theory started to form in the back of her head when she heard it rumble. “But, like I said, it’s nothin’.”

 

“Steve,” Quinn started slow and sucked in a deep breath because she was so relieved. Well, she was sort of relieved that Steve wasn’t about to keel over and die, but she was worried since, y’know, he was an _idiot_ who didn’t know how to take care of himself. “When was the last time you ate?”

 

“’Bout a day ago?” He didn’t even sound sure of that answer.

 

Jesus, this man would be the death of her. “Okay,” she dropped the folder next to him then pointed at it. “Says here that your metabolism runs fast— _real_ fast. You know what your metabolism does, don’t yah? It’s what fuels your body. Now, if that burns four times faster than mine or Bucky or anyone else, don’t yah think maybe, _just maybe_ , you should eat some goddamn food every now and then?” She cuffed him upside the head. “If you don’t have any food in yah, then you don’t have any energy to keep up that…super soldiering…”

 

Steve’s face started to heat up as she continued on with her rant. “But…the prisoners needed more food.”

 

“How the hell you supposed to protect them when you’re passed out because you don’t have any fuel, huh?” Quinn shook her head. “Jesus Christ, Steve, you’re smarter than this. You need to take better care of yourself. You may be some kind of super soldier, but you’re still human and humans shit they have to do…like _eat_.” She threw her hands into the air then pointed over at the Commandos who seemed pleased as punch that she was chewing out their fearless leader. “Grab some food for this goddamn idiot please.”

 

“Fucking idiot,” James agreed as he stormed up to the other side of the table and knocked Steve up on the other side of his head.

 

“You both don’t have to be so mean.” Steve said but it didn’t mean much when he had a smile on his face like a man head over heels in love.

 

\---

 

Now that the Commandos had arrived at the nearest base, there wasn’t much that Quinn could do other than wait around for headquarters to make contact and issue their next set of orders. Nestled inside the tent that was provided for them, the nurse peeked outside and watched some camera crew boss around the boys. No one could see her, but she watched James and Steve interact with each other, shove and smile and laugh, and mused that the two of them were perfect for the silver screen. Beautiful, the two of them were, and, sure, she knew she kind of looked decent, but it was nowhere near compared to the two of them.

 

Quinn whirled around and walked over so she could flop down onto her personal cot then shoved the pack she carried on her into her lap. When she pulled out her compact mirror and stared at her reflection, she frowned and tucked some strands of blonde behind her ears. Maybe she could ask Peggy about where to find some decent lipstick in London when they showed back up and some eye makeup, too. Back home, there’d never been that much money to spare on enough of that for both her and Ma, but she had a whole lot more money than the odd jobs back home provided. Some concealer could do her a world of good, too, she thought as she traced the scar that ran from her hairline down to the top of her cheekbone. What she wouldn’t do to be rid of that damned scar.

 

“Quinn?” Steve asked from the entrance of the tent.

 

The blonde fumbled around to put her compact back up. “Got our orders yet?” she questioned as soon as she cleared her throat and shoved her pack back onto the ground.

 

“Not yet,” he answered and dropped down on the cot across from her. When he started to scrutinize her, spending too much time on the scar she’d just been messing with, her eyes dropped down to the dirt underneath their feet. “But we should have them soon.” It was so nice of him not to ask about her scar. “Buck said we needed to talk?”

 

Wow. James couldn’t have let her have some time before she laid it on Steve? “Yeah, suppose we do.” She put her hands behind her a little and leaned back on them. “It’s not bad, if that’s what you think. It’s more ah…I need to speak some words before we…can try to do,” she waved between them with one hand, “this.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“Yeah, ‘m not the best with words,” she moaned in frustration and dropped onto her back, even if a lady wouldn’t do that in front of a fella. “I have this friend, see—my best friend. We’re a little like you ‘n Buck ‘cause me and her, we’ve been two peas in a pod since we was kids. Her name is Josie, okay? And, well, she has my name on her, too.” Then, she poked her head up so she could see his expression.

 

For a second or two, Steve seemed confused, but then his eyes widened and he breathed out an, “oh.”

 

“Yeah, but, my name’s not on her.” Quinn leaned back up and, damn it, why couldn’t she keep still? “I’ve known Josie since I was _eleven_. So, you’re this kid and you see your name on this other kid and you feel it in your bones that she’ll be the one on you. It didn’t happen, but we…tried to make it more between us.” She made this pathetic noise in the back of her throat then traced her scar again. “Didn’t work out for us for a whole lot of reasons…”

 

“Do you…” He paused and she watched his throat bob as he swallowed. “Do you…still wanna be with her?”

 

To another person, that could’ve seemed like the same question that Peggy had asked her back in headquarters, the same as _are you still in love with her?_ But it wasn’t, not to Quinn, because she understood that she would always love Josie. There was no doubt about that fact. Of course that didn’t mean that the two of them would do the best if they ever tried to have a relationship like that again. So, Quinn answered with, “no. No, I don’t think that’d be the best for either of us. There’s so much hurt between us. Even if we weren’t the ones that hurt each other, it’d still be there and it’s…too much, I think. I love her, but I know it’ll be as best friends from now on.”

 

Steve leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. “But you wanted to tell us because…?”

 

“Because,” she started slowly, “I haven’t been so welcome to you two and you’re not stupid so I know you’ve seen it in me. You can see how I clam up now and then. I never expected to meet y’all…’specially over here in the war. Whole life, I’d told myself that Josie was the one, that it’d be me and her until the end of the world, and I’d protected her within an inch of my life. So, it doesn’t seem fair to her that I have two and she has none.”

 

“What about what’s fair to you?” He asked with this crease between his brows that she wanted to smooth away. “I’m sure she’s swell, but, Quinn, you deserve to be happy, too. What do you want?”

 

She smiled wryly. “I want everyone to be happy.”

 

“If Josie loves you as much as you love her, I think she wouldn’t mind if you were with us.” He rubbed the back of his neck and backed up to explain that, “what I mean is that if she cares about you, she would want you to be happy. I want that for you, too. So, if you don’t want to be with me and Bucky, I understand that. But don’t make yourself unhappy because you don’t think you deserve it. It may not mean much coming from me, but I _know_ you deserve some happiness.”

 

Quinn kept quiet, but took in his words, ran them over and over in her head. So, Steve continued and said, “Maybe I’ve come at this in a bad way. I think I tried to be your soul mate first and hoped it would make the fact that we’ve never met before disappear. What made it so easy for me and Bucky to move to being soul mates was that we knew each other so long and from what it sounds like, that made it easy for you and Miss Josie.”

 

“So you’re sayin’ we should try and be friends before we’re soul mates?” Quinn questioned with a small smile. It didn't fly over her head how she'd had the same idea earlier with James.

 

“Yeah,” Steve nodded. “Exactly. Can we try and be friends—the three of us?”

 

“Y’know what, Steve, I think we can.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This chapter is meant to show that there are some kinks that Quinn, Steve, and Bucky need to work out between the three of them before there can be an actual relationship. Quinn has her flaws and tends to get stuck up in her past with Josie. I'm not meaning to make her seem like she's pining because she's not. Pretty serious shit happened while her and Josie were in a relationship that fucked Quinn up. That kind of trauma makes her uneasy to change and try new relationships. It'll all be explained in further detail later.  
> Also, that scene with Steve passing out is meant to show that Quinn and Bucky are there to take care of that big ol' goofball. And it shows that, sure, they don't know each other that well yet, but there's something there that Quinn just can't ignore. She cares about them both.


	6. What the History Books Won't Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A.K.A. Five times over five months that certainly wouldn't make the history books, but would be cemented in Quinn's heart all the same. In the end, whether it's her or Steve or Bucky or any of the Commandos (one Miss Carter included), they're all a bunch of no-good little shits. 
> 
> Oh, and plus the one moment that does make the history books and changes America forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha....ha..........ha ha........I don't even know what happened. I was in such a rut with this story. You have no possible idea how horrible it was. But then, suddenly, inspiration hit me and I wrote this chapter in, like, two or three days. I'm so sorry for taking so long. But hey this is literally the longest chapter to date, so yay?  
> So, I planned on just having this chapter opening with a time skip because in canon MCU, Steve, Bucky, and the Commandos spend about a year and a half together (like late October 43 to May 45?) and sorry, but I don't think I could write that much. But I didn't want to leave Quinn and the boys at the end of one chapter deciding to be friends and then start the next chapter with them being BFFs, y'know? So I said to myself, "fuck it. Imma do a 5+1 things chapter." So, here we are.  
> Thank you to everyone that left a review!! You are literally the most precious things in the entire world!!!! <3 **Oh, and if you're interested, I made a[Tumblr](http://www.quinnhayden.tumblr.com) for this series?** So, if you wanna, like, leave messages or suggestions or ask questions, feel free to do that!!! Maybe I'll even be nice and let you have spoilers if you ask! ;)  
>  Thank you for being so patient. I love you all to death. I hope this chapter is up to your standards.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** Don't own anyone from Marvel, my friends.

**1\. December 1943**

 

“I would’ve picked a different profession if I knew there would be such knockouts nurses,” someone drawled and draped an arm around Quinn’s shoulders in the middle of her conversation with an actual bombshell, one Miss Private Lorraine—‘course, Quinn’s Ma had raised her up the proper way and she never went around in someone’s space to let them know how pretty they were. _And don’t use none of those rude words that’ll earn yah a punch in the face. Ask your Pa about that_ , her Ma had said to her. _Someone ever comes in your space, woman or man, without your say-so, you let ‘em knows how much you don’t appreciate that kind of nonsense_.

 

So, Quinn smiled down at Lorraine, said, “excuse me, ma’am,” and then whirled around to knock said man who’d been up in her personal space in the cheek. Man went down the same as a sack of potatoes and Lorraine covered her mouth to hide her snort which Quinn found adorable, honest. “Now, look here,” Quinn snapped at the man who stared up at her from the floor with, what she hoped, was fear in his eyes. “Didn’t your momma ever teach you how to be polite to ladies?”

 

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to run around _punching_ people?” The dark-haired man retorted hotly as he started to stand back up. “That was meant to be a compliment to you! Why’d you _punch_ me?” He rubbed at his poor abused cheek.

 

“Because you can say that and not put your arm around me. That’s not so polite. Maybe you should remember that and ladies may be more inclined to take those compliments in a nice way.” She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest while she scowled at him some more.

 

“I’m the most eligible bachelor in the United States, you know. Maybe the _world_ ,” he shot back petulantly, like the little boys Liam used to run with when she’d tease them.

 

“Oh. You’ve met Howard. Good.” A certain C.O.—that’d been late and started this whole deal even if she didn’t mean to—commented from behind them. Quinn looked over her shoulder to watch both Peggy and James walk toward the scene and Quinn didn’t even ask about the sniper rifle hooked over James’s shoulder. “Howard, this is Quinn Hayden, our newest agent and nurse. Quinn,” she smiled at Quinn like she had a secret, “this is Howard Stark.”

 

Huh. That name sounded real…familiar. Where the hell had she heard that…oh. _Oh_. “Aw, shit,” she scratched at her forehead, one of her _I fucked up_ nervous habits because she had. That was Howard Stark, as in the richy-rich founder of Stark Industries. Last she heard, he’d been in New York, with his World Expo fair that was supposed to be the way of the future or whatever the hell. Quinn had been preoccupied with her studies as a nurse to care that much about it. “You ain’t gonna sue me are you?”

 

“It’s a possibility.” Howard sneered.

 

“Yeah, the papers will _love_ that.” James drawled and stepped between the two of them. “Howard Stark sues dame because she socked him one.”

 

“Watch it, Barnes. I actually like you.”

 

“Makes one of us,” Quinn mumbled under her breath.

 

James cocked a brow at her. “Steve likes him, too.”

 

“Won’t like him when he knows he put the moves on me,”

 

That made him look back over at Howard and he asked, incredulous, “you have a death wish, Stark?”

 

Howard pouted and Peggy cleared her throat so that attention moved back to her. “Howard, James needed you to take a look at his weapon, but my main purpose for today was to show Quinn your workshop. Well, if you see fit to call that mess a workshop.” He only pouted more at her, but she didn’t mind it any. “She _is_ the newest addition to the SSR and the Commandos, after all.”

 

Howard shot Quinn another one of those looks that said _I’m six-years-old on the inside_ before he whirled around and stormed toward his supposed workshop which everyone had kept hush hush since she’d started at the SSR. Okay, it hadn’t been that much of a kept secret since she hadn’t spent much time at headquarters, what with all the Commandos missions, but no one ever answered her when she wanted to know what’d been in there.

 

“Stark your new best friend, is he?” Quinn asked as the three of them left behind in Howard’s dust started to follow him. “Does Steve know?”

 

“Hey, he’s a…okay fella.” James looked around like there was someone around any corner who would listen in on them then leaned and whispered, “Only reason I’m here is for the science that happens in there. It’s the tops, Quinn. The _tops_ ,” he stressed and, wow. Quinn had never taken him as a…now, see, she didn’t think he was a complete moron without a brain, of course, but she never would’ve believed that he’d…love science…

 

Quinn cleared her throat and covered her mouth with her hand so he wouldn’t see the grin that stretched across her face, but he must’ve seen it when her eyes crinkled because he frowned at her. “Oh, I see how it is. You didn’t think ol’ James Buchanan Barnes had a brain, did you?”

 

“Don’t be sore at me. I never said that.” She laughed. “Just…assumed your brain was more below the belt, is all.”

 

Peggy gave an unrefined snort from the other side of Quinn then tried to cover up her laughter with an unexpected coughing fit. James looked over Quinn’s head to stare at the other woman. “You sick, Agent Carter?”

 

“Perhaps,” Peggy answered with an amused smirk.

 

“I’ll have both you ladies know that between me and a certain little shit, I always aced my numbers and science tests. And when Steve was out tradin’ fists with mooks in alleys, _I_ wanted to go see Stark’s fancy little expo. Whenever I’m in Stark’s lab, he has to use a crowbar to get me away from his gadgets. Can’t make me shut up because I’m so curious,” he explained in his defense.

 

Quinn patted him on the shoulder. “Whatever yah say, sweetheart,”

 

“Of course we believe you, James.” Peggy chimed in.

 

“In fact, I bet you I could make the next scientific breakthrough in there.”

 

“Uh-huh, yeah, that’s nice, honey.”

 

“’M serious, Quinn.”

 

 

“Rule number one about science,” Howard wheezed out as he, James, and Quinn stood around outside the door, covered in debris and dust while people rushed in and out of the lab with buckets of water. “Make sure you write it down.” He rushed to shove a clipboard into James’s hands and scurried away as Colonel Phillips and Peggy approached the lab.

 

James looked around, a little panicked, because Phillips came at them like a bat out of hell and then his gaze landed on her and she winced. “Sorry, soldier. You’re on your own.”

 

“ _Hayden! Barnes!_ ”

 

“Aw, fuck.”

 

\---

 

**2\. January 1944**

“You were serious about it. God to honest serious,” Quinn moaned in embarrassment when she trekked outside the emptied warehouse—well, emptied except for some rescued prisoners—and saw the Commandos swarmed around some abandoned truck. “What a bunch of morons,” she muttered under her breath. Lord, she had no idea who had more sense, these _men_ or Liam and his pals back home…and they were _fourteen_.

 

Jesus, ten minutes, she swore that was how much time she’d spent in there to check on the prisoners, and _somehow_ someone, probably Dernier and Gabe if she had to put money on it, had found some paint and Hydra wouldn’t be too happy about what they’d done to their symbol. But they probably wouldn’t be too happy about their dead soldiers, either, and how come Hydra chewed on cyanide when they were cornered, huh? Oh, and not to mention that the Commandos had ripped open the panel underneath the steering wheel because the lot of them had to wait for some pickup and why not learn how to steal a truck in the meantime? _That_ made a load of sense.

 

“Quinn,” Steve shouted and ran over to stand in front of her. He was real careful to keep his hands behind his back, almost like he was in parade rest. “You don’t happen to have any gloves, do you?”

 

“Captain America wants to steal a truck. Some symbols to the nation y’all are turning out to be.” Quinn complained, but started to reach into her pack because they’d find some one way or another and it wasn’t like she needed them, anyway. “And am I the only person worried about how we’re out in the open? There could be some Nazi up around us and we’d never even know because y’all are too busy—wait.” She blinked and realized what he’d asked for. “What to you need gloves for? The hell, Steve?” she demanded.

 

“No need to be bent outta shape, Quinn,” he tried to soothe while, at the same time, reached for the pair of gloves she’d pulled out of her pack. “The area’s cleared out for now. No Nazis to worry about. And me and the fellas needed these,” his hand clasped around hers and she tried not to blush and make a fool out of herself, “for, um, reasons.” He tried to take them, but she eyed him and then clapped her other hand over his because she just knew he had some kind of secret.

 

So, Quinn looked down at their hands and then spotted how red and burnt the tips of his fingers looked. “Steve!” She hissed and snatched both his wrists then forced them to turn over so she could look at them in all their rawness. “You’re not supposed to touch the live end of the wires once you strip ‘em, dumbass.”

 

“Oh, hey, you know about this stuff? Do you think you could help us—oomph!” He never had the chance to ask the rest of that question because Quinn had shoved him back toward the emptied crates that she’d turned over to create some makeshift nurse station where she could check them over. It looked like Steve volunteered to be first. Good.

 

“Hands out.” Quinn ordered.

 

“It doesn’t hurt that much.” Steve protested and held his hands close to his chest. “It’ll heal quicker than you can patch me up.”

 

“Wanna bet?” He batted those damn eyelashes at her and she _had_ to learn how to refuse him even when he used those on her. “At least let me clean it up a little. For my peace of mind. Please?” She asked and he chewed on his bottom lip, but held his hands out. “Thanks.”

 

“So, you know how to strip wires? Does that mean you’ve stolen cars before?” Steve questioned once she started her work on his hands. It wouldn’t take that much time, but it seemed that he wanted to talk and she could deal with that. It didn’t seem like the any of the Commandos were that hurt, so they had some time to spare.

 

“Oh, yeah. I tried to steal some army trucks from the local base and when they found me, they said I’d either spend time in the slammer or be a nurse, so here I am.” He laughed at that and she grinned crookedly. “No, but back home, electricity is…newer. The Depression hit us real hard. Power in our house is kind of spotty, so I’ve had to help Pa. Don’t know how to steal a truck, but I know what end of the wire you’re not supposed to touch.”

 

Steve huffed, but it was in good nature. “I didn’t mean to touch it. We don’t exactly have the best supplies to strip wires around here.”

 

“Hmm, suppose so.” She hummed then her smile softened up a bit. “When the war is over, you should meet my Pa. I think he’d love you both.” Then she rubbed the back of her neck and amended that with, “Now that I think about it, pretty damn sure my whole family would love the both of yah.”

 

“Yeah?” and he lit up when she said that. “How come?”

 

Quinn stared down at his hands. They were burnt a bit because he’d acted stupid, but most of the time, he used them to save people—to save the world, if she was honest about it. “You’re both heroes.” Wait. No. That made them out to be star struck. “Um, what I mean is, you both have heart? Oh, uh, yeah, that doesn’t mean you’re not heroes because you _are_.” How she fumbled around made him shoot her a shit-eating grin and she blushed. “You’ve done a whole lot of good for the world. And, y’know, you saved me, so Pa would offer you all the money buried in the backyard for that.”

 

At least it wasn’t her that blushed now because he went red in the face. “God, Quinn, I can’t say the same for Buck, but I’m no hero. No less than anyone else out here,” he explained then stared up at her, earnest. “You’re a hero. We take lives to save more, but you…you save them no matter what.” His blue eyes dropped down to her hands that had stopped their work and just held his. “My mom was a nurse, too. And she died in the line of duty…if you could put it that way. Got hit in the TB ward. Couldn’t shake it,” he explained quietly.

 

Their conversation had taken a sad turn, that was for sure, but she was honored he’d let her know that. “I’m here ‘cause of war. Your momma was a nurse in peacetime. She was a hero. And maybe next time we’re stateside, we can visit her. I’d be honored to meet her.”

 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Steve whispered. “My mom would’ve loved you. Loved anyone that could keep me in line,” he explained. “I was…kind of a handful as a kid.”

 

“You? A handful? _Never_.” Quinn squeezed his hands. “Guess heroics runs in your blood, huh?”

 

That made his cheeks run redder. “Shut up.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” she looked over her shoulder and listened as the truck roared to life. “Would yah look at that? They actually did it. Guess you didn’t need those gloves.” She pulled her hands away and patted the top of his head. “Go ahead. You’re done. Go…see how they did it. And, uh, let me know afterward…for reasons.”

 

Steve watched her, a twinkle in his eyes. “For reasons?” he teased. “Planning on stealing some trucks in the future?”

 

“Only the ones from Nazis, ah course.”

 

“What else on earth would you use that skill for?”

 

“Get your ass over there, you mook.”

 

“Yes, ma’am, Nurse Hayden, ma’am.”

 

\---

 

**3\. February 1944**

 

“No, see that’s _still_ too proper. I don’t even think you’re tryin’ anymore, Carter.”

 

“Barnes, I can’t possibly sound any more unbecoming.”

 

“Sure, you can.”

 

Here Quinn was on her deathbed, about to meet her maker because the water that a person needed to live had poured out of her by way of sweat, and ahead of her, so-called friends of hers bickered back and forth about _accents_. And how come no one asked _her_ for help, huh? If anyone had an all American accent, it was her. Why, her southern accent was cute as a damned button.

 

Maybe…maybe if she went down on the mat quiet, no one would notice. Steve was preoccupied with his own one-armed pushups, so if she lowered down and didn’t come back up then…

 

“Hayden, I didn’t say stop, did I?” Peggy barked from ahead and the woman was cruel—cruel, cruel, cruel. Like a cruel mistress and it was because Quinn had complained about the insane amount of pushups the other woman demanded so, of course she made Quinn do one-armed ones instead.

 

The blonde whined and, rather than listen to her orders, curled up into a ball then and there. “Can’t do it no more. Don’t have no more in me. I’m ‘bout to die.”

 

“Bloody hell, Quinn, you’ve only done thirty by my count. I could do a hundred myself, at least.”

 

Some junior—and maybe she meant both rank and level of maturity—SSR agents on the other side of the gym started to snicker at the rather loud declaration and Quinn had never thanked God more than now for the complex men had when it came to women because it now meant she didn’t have to do anymore pushups. One of them had even said, real loud, “Yeah, the day I leave the SSR is the day that happens.”

 

 

It turned out to be a hundred and seven.

 

“So, you want to turn in your resignation to me now or should I ask for the Colonel…?” Steve asked that same man as both he and Quinn, shoulder to shoulder, grins on their faces, leaned over the ropes to stare at the awestruck men.

 

\---

 

**4\. March 1944**

 

“Chaps, tell me I’m not the only one that sees Hydra up ahead at the border.” Monty murmured from the other side of her and Quinn dropped her face into her hands because _this_ was what had become of her life now—chuck full of goddamn _shitty information_. No one else said a word, so he took that as an answer. “Good. Quite sure I was mad there for a moment.” Up in the front seat, squeezed between Steve and Frenchie, who was behind the wheel, Gabe started to bark some orders in French and Dernier complained, but pulled the car over onto the side of the road before a Hydra soldier spotted them.

 

It was pure luck that they’d spotted that Hydra truck stop up at the border before they reached it themselves. See, the boys had been in a whole bunch of pictures, so she had no doubt that Hydra knew what their faces looked like. Woo boy would they be a pretty picture—seven men and one woman cramped into a car. No, wait, cramped didn’t even come close to what they were. Quinn was tucked into Buck’s lap and everyone that wasn’t Dernier, Gabe, and Steve were packed in the backseat. God, any German that let them across the border into France the way they looked would’ve been an idiot.

 

“What the hell are we supposed to do now?” Dum-Dum boomed.

 

“Jesus, Dum-Dum, shut the hell up. They’ll hear us all the way from here if you don’t.” Bucky complained then leaned forward to press his forehead on her back. “’S your call, Steve,” he added a little louder but it still came out muffled.

 

“If anyone has any ideas, I’m all ears.” Steve snapped and, yeah, she could understand why he was mad as hell. They could make a clean getaway, but they had a mission in France and it was impossible to land by plane since it’d become German occupied. He started to curse up a storm underneath his breath that would’ve made a sailor have a heart attack. Brooklyn boy at heart, he was.

 

Good couple of minutes, the lot of them sat around and didn’t utter a word. Quinn looked around the car that they’d been, uh, lent by some nice ladies in Switzerland. She had a nice idea about what kind of ladies they were since there were a whole bunch of lipsticks and nylons everywhere. Oh, and there was a dress, too. Either someone lived out of their car or they were…well, not ladies that she’d seen in Hazard, but had heard about back in the States, seen on the European streets. Hell, on those lonely nights before she met the Commandos, she could’ve proposed to spend some time with one of them…if she was sure she wouldn’t be slapped for the proposition, anyway. After all, a person never really saw any men who wanted to sell their bodies.

 

Hold up one darn second. “Oh Jesus, Mother Mary, and Joseph,” she whispered then clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Everyone out now, now, now,” she hissed and tried to scramble toward the door even with all the men in the way. “Got an idea,” she declared.

 

“Hey, Buck Rogers, what’re you doin’?” Dum-Dum complained as she climbed over him to open up the door and hop outside into the cool air. Jesus, when would it warm up?

 

Then, she stopped and turned around to bend over and stare at Dum-Dum because, “What’d you call me?”

 

“You’re Missus Buck Rogers,” he beamed.

 

Quinn rolled her eyes and then knocked his bowler hat off the top of his head. She’d never understand the man’s obsession with nicknames. While she leaned back up and headed back around to the trunk, she heard Bucky slap Dum-Dum on the head then ask, “How’d you know about that?”

 

“Not that hard to see, ace.” Jim answered for Dum-Dum…and the rest of the team, she supposed. “Besides, what dumbass runs into enemy territory for someone that’s _just my best pal_ , huh? And the way you two make eyes at each other,” he added and shot them a pointed look that made Steve and Bucky stare down at their feet, “you’re not exactly subtle there, chief.”

 

“If you knew, how come no one said it sooner?” Steve blurted.

 

Quinn rolled her eyes and then snapped her fingers so every man’s attention was on her. “’S because they don’t _care_ , dumbass. No one cares that you and Buck screw each other six ways from Sunday.” He ducked his head down further and she snorted. “But I‘m sort of curious how y’all knew about me and them…”

 

“You’re not that subtle, either, madam.” Monty pointed out. “Now that that’s out in the open, may we continue on with a plan that will mostly like have us killed? Hate to stretch it out any more, you see,” he added sarcastically.

 

“Excuse me,” Quinn huffed and turned her nose up at him. “My plan is ‘bout to save our asses, thank yah very much.” She opened up the trunk and thanked heaven above that there were ladies dresses back there. And would you look at that? There were even _wigs_. “Thank you God for vamps,” she cheered quietly.

 

Frenchie stormed around to stand at her side then started to shake his head. “ _Non, non, non_ ,” and if that didn’t sound like a no, she didn’t know what it was.

 

“ _Oui, oui, oui_ ,” she chirped because she knew _some_ French. More than German, anyway.

 

 

“Now remember ladies, let me talk.” Quinn drawled, now behind the wheel, and beamed at the unanimous complaints that sounded across the car. It was nice that it was cold because that meant most of them could burrow under coats and not look too suspicious. But everyone up front, next to her—Steve, Buck, and Gabe because none of them had facial hair which most women did not have—had to wear wigs.

 

“You should not be likin’ this as much as you are, Quinn,” Buck snarled.

 

“Not my fault that I’m awestruck by all these lovely ladies,” she teased.

 

A Hydra soldier stood in front of their car and Quinn put it into park while another soldier outside the station barked orders in German. Quinn took a deep breath, steadied herself, and then beamed at the soldier when he opened the door to reveal her and everyone else in the front seat with her. Thankfully, the boys did as she said and most ducked their heads down to look like polite little ladies.

 

“ _Bonjour_ ,” Quinn purred and stepped out of the car when the Hydra soldier stepped back and made a motion for her to follow. She made sure that her coat wasn’t buttoned so that when she stood up, it opened a bit. “ _Sprechen Sie Englisch?_ ” She made sure to sound more French than German or American and that was all thanks to Peggy’s lessons.

 

“Yes,” the German seemed to loosen up and that made her smile widen. Hook, line, and sinker. “How do I help you?”

 

“My ladies want to, how you say…help boost morale?” Quinn explained with as much a French accent that she could muster. “Do you,” she stepped forward and pressed a hand to his chest before she blinked up at him, innocent and dirty at the same time, “understand?”

 

Oh, yeah, he understood that loud and clear. “You help me?”

 

When hell froze over, maybe. “Oh,” she fanned at herself, as if she was flustered. “ _Monsieur_ , I am their…mother hen, _oui_?”

 

“Then one of them,” he leered.

 

The soldier reached past Quinn and started to make hands at Bucky which made Quinn panic because she hoped she could’ve batted her eyelashes at him then be let on into France. So, she snatched the man’s upper arm and manhandled him until he spun around to face her so she could let her hand move down to his belt. “Ah, I am so sorry,” she breathed out and clenched her jaw when he threw his arms around her waist so he could reach down and squeeze her ass. “My ladies, they are so tired. Should we be somewhere alone?”

 

“ _Ja, ja,_ ” he nodded and tried to lean down and kiss her and, oh no. She would not have her first kiss with a man be with a damn… _Nazi_.

 

So, she acted coy and covered her mouth with her hand so she could giggle. “Alone, alone, _monsieur_ ,” she sang then looked around and blinked in confusion. “No friends?”

 

“With the food,” he pointed over at the Hydra truck parked across the way.

 

Oh, and that was perfect. “ _Oui_ , then more time for you,” she drawled and bunched her hands in his coat so that she could start to lead him toward the little station where men could sit around in. Bastard tried to crowd her in some more, kiss her, but she ran a hand up and down his chest instead, hoped that would settle him over.

 

No sir. Quinn would do a bunch for her country, but not kiss a Nazi. Nope, no sir, no thank you.

 

Once inside the station—but it seemed more like a box—Quinn looked around and wondered what damn button would be the one to raise the gate. “Button I don’t press?” she asked politely and moved her ass close to the panel so he would think she asked because he was about to be the luckiest Nazi at the border and not because she would need to know fast so she could make a clean getaway.

 

“ _Ja_ , that one,” he murmured and waved toward a certain button while he tried to crowd her back onto the panel.

 

Quinn smiled then threw her elbow out into his nose. Mister Hydra shouted in pain and stumbled back which let her have room to ram her knee up into his dick, so of course he doubled over. While she slammed her hand on the button, she then slammed her elbow into the back of his neck. The soldier crashed into the panel, moaned in pain, and then slumped onto the ground. “Thank you,” she huffed but was darn pleased with herself.

 

“Who’s the best in the world?” Quinn cheered and darted back toward the car then threw it into drive before the other Hydra soldier could come out and stumble upon the scene.

 

“If you were gonna knock him out, how come we had to dress up as dames?”

 

\---

 

**5\. April 1944**

 

Quinn had never been in the trenches before and the reason for that must’ve been because there wasn’t much that a nurse _could_ do other than declare men dead and attempt to keep them patched up as best as she could. Sure, she had cleaned up the messes left behind in the wake of trench warfare once she came overseas, but she’d never ever been in the middle of the action. Around her, hell rained down and she had to run around, hope she wasn’t shot or blown to pieces while she _tried_ to help heal men.

 

Greatest kick in the head, swear to God, was that these trenches hadn’t even been an appointed mission for them. Quinn will never know how, but they stumbled onto this shit-storm and well, they _had_ to help because they were Captain America and his Commandos. They weren’t about to stop because they had one nurse in their ranks and she wasn’t about to let them, either. Poor men had been in a stalemate with the Germans and how could their squadron let that happen? Not one led by one Steven Grant Rogers that was for sure. Had they helped out? Not much because they were _still_ in a stalemate…

 

And they’d been stuck in the trenches for almost a _week_.

 

Once darkness dropped across the land, there wasn’t much that could be done in the way of war since neither side could see much across the way. Sure, someone shot a round now and then, but no one ever hit their mark—on the American side, anyway. It also happened to be when Quinn was at her busiest, Jim at her side, the two of them at every wounded man’s side. Down the way, there were bodies stacked up that Quinn ordered fellas carry dead men down to, but tried her best to stay away from as much as possible. There was a small collection in her pack of dog tags that she’d have to hand over to some superior officer whenever she had the chance.

 

Now, compared to the past week, there wasn’t as much wounded or dead and maybe that was because the Germans, like her team and the other allied soldiers, ran on fumes. Jeez, Quinn didn’t even have any proper rations anymore. All she had was some chocolate she’d saved up over the past few months for when her sweet tooth would kick in and that couldn’t have been healthy, but…well, she didn’t complain as much as other people in her unit did.

 

‘Course, that didn’t stop certain people who knew about her stash from making passes at it. “ _Barnes_ ,” she hissed and kicked him square in the ass when she came back around to her pack and spotted the brunet hunched over her personals, elbow deep in her stash. “Back the fuck up.”

 

And no, she didn’t feel the least bit sorry when he dropped face-first into the wet dirt—wasn’t as runny as mud, but it’d leave some stains on his uniform, that was for sure. “Aw, c’mon, it’s not like that.” He moaned and stumbled to his feet. “It’s not for _me_.” He explained then reached out to nab a poor kid that couldn’t have been much older than Liam and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Poor kid here needs some sugar. He’s—” Buck paused. “Where’re you from, kid?”

 

“Uh, Texas, sir,” he squeaked, face pale, and it was probably because a Commando was friendly with him.

 

“See, Quinn, Texas here needs some candy outta your stash.”

 

Quinn cocked her head to the side and leveled that man with a look that could put a person six feet under. “That so, huh?” she drawled. “Because I patched up Texas earlier and let him have some of my candy already. Sweet kid like that would _ask_ me before he went around in a lady’s personals.”

 

“Shucks,” Texas ducked his head and she couldn’t see his face, but he was probably redder than an apple. “Thanks, Miss Quinn,” he added as he kicked at the dirt.

 

“Got me,” Buck sighed dramatically and backed away from Texas. Then, he approached Quinn with the kind of swagger in his step than her Ma warned her about back before her marks showed up. “Tell yah what. You let me have half a bar and I’ll kiss yah.”

 

And honest, she tried to keep the smile away from her face, tried to keep on her serious face when she pondered out loud, “oh, and what’ll you let me have for a whole bar, I wonder.”

 

“Can’t say that in polite company, sweetheart,” he purred.

 

“James Buchanan Barnes, you’re the fella a priest warns nice church gals about.” Quinn announced then shoved at his shoulder a bit. “It ain’t my fault that you don’t save up on the niceties like I do.” She said that, but he’d buttered her up too much for her to let him leave empty-handed.

 

“That’s cold, doll.”

 

Quinn hummed and turned around in time to meet face-to-face, one muscular chest of a certain super soldier which would’ve been nice any other time had he not been as dirtied up as the rest of them. Yeah, and yuck, that was a piece of dried up mud in her mouth now. Great.

 

“Holy fuck,” Steve breathed out and Quinn took a step back to make sure he was okay because Steve cursed, sure, but he never sounded…like that. He didn’t seem wounded. There was this expression of astonishment on his face, actually. “Buck, Quinn, the both of yah…you have to come see this. It’s—can’t _believe_ it.”

 

“Spit it out, Steve. What’s the matter?” Quinn asked.

 

“A cow,” he blurted. “There’s a goddamn cow out in the middle of no-man’s land.”

 

Quinn blinked, but Bucky went ahead and repeated for her, “a…cow…”

 

“God to honest cow,” Steve swore.

 

Then the brunet behind her stomped past both she and Steve, suddenly a man on a mission as he declared, “I want that fuckin’ cow.”

 

“We need a plan before we head out there, Buck.” Steve called after him.

 

 _What_ the _fuck_? “No, no, no!” Quinn was _not_ about to be the responsible one. That was too much pressure. These were her _soul mates_ , _not_ her _children_. “Y’all are _not_ about to head out there, in the middle of a damn…no! Not because you want a _cow_. How’re we supposed to cook it, huh? You knuckle-heads think about that?” Oh, someone have mercy on her soul. These two would be the death of her.

 

“Um,” Texas squeaked behind her, “I think I could wrestle up a grill from one of those jeeps we can’t use no more?” Quinn whipped her head around to shoot that kid the fiercest glare she could come up with. “Or not!” he looked about ready to piss his pants.

 

“We’ll make sure you’re promoted for this, Texas. Make you a damn captain.” Bucky said and loaded himself up with weapons while, behind him, Steve strapped his shield onto his arm.

 

“Yeah, and does Texas know how to cut up a cow and make some meat out of it?”

 

“ _You_ do.” Steve pointed out.

 

Quinn opened and closed her mouth. Brain hadn’t expected that. “I know how to skin _deer_ and rabbits and squirrels,” she stated in that matter-of-a-fact way. “That _ain’t_ a cow.”

 

“Can’t be too much different,” Gabe piped up. Man came out of _nowhere_ …

 

“Quinn, I never skinned an animal in my life, but I swear to God Himself, I will figure it fuckin’ out.” Buck proclaimed.

 

“Steven Grant Rogers, James Buchanan Barnes, if you two step one _foot_ outside these trenches, I will rip your dicks clean off, you hear me? You’ll bleed out and die the most horrible, painful deaths. Wait. I said—”

 

 

“Morons,” Quinn hissed later, elbow-deep in a dead cow. “Fuckin’ idiots. Dumbest dumbasses there ever were,” she snarled under her breath and, out of utter spite, threw a chunk of meat over at Bucky who, beside her, had a hand inside the dead bovine, too. “ _I_ hate _you_. Both of you,” she shouted so Steve would hear her from over the crackle of their makeshift jeep-grill.

 

“Gonna love me later when you have a prime-cut steak in front of yah,” Bucky crooned. “It’ll be the best damn piece of meat you’ve ever had in your entire life.”

 

“Honey, you ain’t never had my Pa’s deer meat before.”

 

 

No, Quinn would never ever admit it, but surrounded by the Commandos, Steve and Bucky on each side of her, that steak had been the best goddamn piece of meat she’d ever eaten and maybe it was because it left more than her stomach full and warm.

 

\---

 

**+1. May 1944**

 

“Ma’am! Ma’am!” someone shouted the second Quinn and the Commandos stepped foot inside the base. Before she even had a clue what the hell happened, there were cameras in her face and she scrambled away from them. “Is it true that you’re the nurse who’s been with Captain America these past months? What’s your name? Are you American? Why have you stuck beside the Captain this entire time?”

 

“I’m a nurse because I wanna save people, ah course.” Quinn answered. “Why else would I be one? To stand around and look pretty? Steve and Buck do that plenty for the rest of us,” she teased as she looked back and forth between the two men who stood on both sides of her.

 

The crowd became a bit more frenzied at how relaxed and casual she was with them, but all Quinn could focus on was how the two of them smiled down at her, like the three of them had a secret no one else knew about. In the back of her mind, maybe it processed how serious it was when some reporter asked, “are you close with Captain America and Sergeant Barnes, ma’am?”

 

But, well, Quinn was too preoccupied with how her heart raced inside her chest to think much about how she _shouldn’t_ have answered that question, so she blurted, “they’re both my soul mates so what do you think, pal?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the reason the +1 is such a big deal is because Quinn is publicly announcing that Steve AND Bucky are her soul mates. Like I've said before, this kind of relationship is seen as defective in this time. The consequences of this revelation are gonNA be delved into more in the next chapter.  
> Oh, and there's a shout out to the Agent Carter series. Also, the cow thing was an actual canon thing in the comics.


	7. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world isn't perfect. They have to live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay, look, it didn't take me a month or more to post another chapter. And this one is actually a decent length, too. Suck on that. So, um, I don't really have all that much to say other than, dude, come check out the [tumblr](http://www.quinnhayden.tumblr.com) I made for this series. B)  
> Oh shit. I almost forgot. Here's some **important historical things** :  
>  _Blue Ticket:_ I'm sure if you've read enough stevexbucky fics, you've heard of this term. If not, here's what it is. Basically, it was a discharge given in the military. It's not used anymore, but back in the two world wars, it was used against both homosexuals and African-Americans. I'm not exactly sure how people who got blue tickets would be treated, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't good. Wikipedia says it's neither an honorable or dishonorable discharge, but...well...yeah...  
>  _Bootlegger:_ A person that smuggles/traffics illegal alcohol. There were a whole bunch of them back during Prohibition, of course. I'm not condoning bootlegging here, obviously, but a lot of people, especially during the Great Depression, needed to provide for their families and in rural areas of such poor states (like Kentucky) bootlegging was seen as one of the few options.  
>  Maybe you already knew about those, but, yeah, I thought I'd let anyone who didn't know. I can't thing of anything that could be triggering in this chapter other than there's a moment where Quinn gets drunk and talks about when she was used as a bootlegger during her childhood. But feel free to let me know to tag anything that makes you uncomfortable, of course!  
> I love you all! And thanks so much for leaving comments! It breathes life into me and makes me realize that, hey, this story isn't so shitty after all! <3
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I own no one from Marvel, yo.

The end was close—so, so close, and, damn it all to hell, Quinn would listen to some of her favorite tunes before she met her Maker. It took a whole lot of bribes to make it happen, but she was able to… _requisition_ a radio and, with a smoke between her lips, went across the various frequencies until she found a station supposed to make homesick American soldiers feel better with sounds of the states. Glenn Miller started up and, as she breathed out the smoke she’d sucked in, Quinn dropped down into the chair that faced the open window and watched the hustle and bustle of London below. Added on top of the radio and smokes, the weather wasn’t too horrible—which meant a lot when it came to a rainy place like London—and she wasn’t stuck in some muddied-up trenches, so it wasn’t too bad a day to die on, all in all.

 

“Jesus, Quinn, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” Someone drawled from the main entrance of the hotel ballroom she’d holed up in and, no, it wasn’t to hide out like some coward. “What the hell are you doin’ in here? Phillips had us lookin’ everywhere for you.” Steve explained as he strolled over to stand next to her. “He wants to see you, but ‘m sure you already knew that.” But, while he plopped down in the chair next to her, it was obvious he wasn’t about to rat her position out to the enemy.

 

“The Colonel drill into you that bad, huh?” Quinn conversed and completely avoided the conversation maybe her, Steve, and Buck should’ve had. When he cocked a brow at her, she smiled and offered up a smoke to him while she said, “Whenever you’re mad, you’re all Brooklyn, baby.”

 

Steve went red in the face and rubbed the back of his neck, but chuckled nonetheless. “Guess so,” he swiped her smoke and the match that she offered after. “It won’t be _that_ bad, y’know. You’re in here, actin’ like it’s your last day on Earth.”

 

“Ain’t it?” she shot back and breathed out smoke through her nose. “Look, I’m a _dragon_.” Then her nose scrunched up. “Aw nah, that’s more like what Phillips is. You wanna be my brave prince and save me from him?” She joked.

 

“I will if you want me to.” Steve answered and stood up so he could walk over then bend down in front of her. It took a lot for her not to curl up and put some kind of distance between them, but he wrapped his hand up in hers and said, “Quinn, I don’t care what anyone else says. There’s nothin’ bad about what you said to all of those reporters.” Damn it, he had his _earnest_ face on. “It’s the truth, what you said. And, yeah, you admitted it to the whole world, but I’m happy you did.”

 

Steve, bless him, meant each and every word. Consequences never much scared him or mattered to him, she’d learned over the course of six months. “I know you are.” Quinn slumped a little, but squeezed his hand a little harder. “But, Steve, I shouldn’t have blurted it like I did. People…they’ll say stuff about you— _bad_ shit that you don’t deserve. How come you think Buck’s so sore at me? You come before me to him. You come before a lot of people.” His lips pursed and he started to lean back, but she stopped him with, “no, hey, listen to me,” while she tugged on his hand. “It’s true. Even if I didn’t care about you, and I _do_ , you’re too important to the world. You’re _hope_ , Steve, and that is somethin’ the world sorely needs ‘bout now.”

 

The blond took a deep breath, let it out, then reached over to pick up the smoke he left in the ash tray and took a drag. “I couldn’t carry that kinda burden.” Quinn whispered. “It’s too damn much for one person which is why they needed a super soldier, I suppose. But…I can help you carry it—me ‘n Buck. So that’s why this is so bad and it’s why I deserve what’s comin’ to me. I’m makin’ it harder to keep you a symbol.”

 

“This isn’t fair.” Steve snarled under his breath and leaned forward so his forehead was pressed to their linked hands. “So what if I have two soul mates? And what’s it matter if one’s a man? It doesn’t make us any better or worse as people. We’re who we were before they found out, ain’t we?”

 

“Maybe, maybe not,” Quinn murmured yet leaned her head forward so she could tuck her chin on top of his head because, honest, she didn’t have much of an answer to that. It seemed different, inside her heart, now that she’d admitted out loud to the world—and her own self—that Steve and Bucky weren’t friends and friends alone. These two were her soul mates and, goddamn it, she cared about them. “’M sorry I caused such a ruckus for the three of us. Maybe you should see Buck. He’ll make yah feel better, I’m sure.”

 

Steve turned his head to the side and peeked up at her with one eye. “Both ah you make me feel better, y’know,” and wasn’t that a kick in the head?

 

Quinn shot him a crooked little smile. “That may be true,” she poked his cheek, “but I have me a date with the colonel and boy will he be plenty mad that I’ve stood him up this long.”

 

“Good luck.”

 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” she paused then stared over at the radio. “One of these days, when we’re allowed a leave, we should see a dancehall or somethin’ fun like that.”

 

“I don’t know how to dance.” He admitted.

 

“That doesn’t much matter if you have the right partner.” Quinn said dismissively and didn’t mind much how he stared up at her with wide eyes and a smile that went wider and wider. “See, they can pick up the slack and teach yah the proper footwork. How ‘bout I be the man and you can be the dame?”

 

“You’re horrible.” Steve whispered. “But, yeah, we should dance sometime. Maybe you’ll be a better teacher than Buck ever was, yeah?”

 

“Make sure he don’t hear that. He’s sore at me as it is,” Quinn squeezed his hand one more time. “Guess we’ll see, huh? Mark a date on the calendar for me.”

 

“Sure I can pencil yah in somewhere…”

 

\---

 

For the first couple of minutes, Phillips didn’t speak a word, instead let her stew in her fear. The least she expected was to be knocked back down to a nurse and the worst was to be kicked out of the SSR period. Of course, that could be a death sentence, especially now, but when Phillips was mad, the man could make your life shit. So, she sat there in front of his desk, eyes on her hands that were folded across her lap, until she heard him slam a newspaper down. When she looked up at it, she saw printed across the front: **CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS TWO SOUL MATES?!** It made her wince.

 

Quinn rubbed the back of her neck and tried to look as sorry as a person could. “’M sorry, sir,” she said and even tried to add as much of that wholesome southern charm that she could. “I didn’t mean to say it, I swear. See, I was real nervous and I ain’t never talked to the press before, so I…blurted it out?”

 

“Hayden,” Phillips started slow and rubbed his forehead which was bad, _real_ bad. Whenever a person made Phillips have a headache, he made sure that person felt pain a lot worse than that. “Do you have _any_ idea how much ass I’m gonna have to kiss to make up for this shit-storm?” He snarled. “Are you aware that Hydra can access any of the films from the states? Do you realize that you confirmed both Rogers _and_ Barnes are your soul mates? Did it even cross your mind at all that this’ll put the hugest goddamn target on all your backs now?”

 

Jesus, _of course_ she knew that. It made her feel ten times worse once she realized it. “Not ‘til it was too late, sir,” she whispered.

 

“You don’t speak until you’re allowed to, Hayden.” Phillips barked and stood up from his seat. And, damn it, she hoped he wouldn’t—nope, there he went. He’d started to pace. “This doesn’t even come close to what the papers back stateside think about this. Rogers is America’s golden boy. He’s what every American man should want to be and what every American gal should want in a man. He’s the perfect soldier, has a sweet little soul mate to come home to, and _does not_ have _two_ —one of which is a _man_.”

 

Be reasonable, Quinn reminded herself. This was a battle she couldn’t hope to win and her punishment would be a whole lot worse if she tried to talk back. “I know Steve has a… _image_ that he’s supposed to keep up, but like I said, I didn’t _mean_ to say it. And, sir, it’ll be bound to come out eventually.”

 

“No, it wouldn’t have been. Not until the war was over and you three were out of my damn hair. To the country, Barnes was Rogers’ loyal best friend. You would be his loyal nurse and if the press wanted to put some kinda romantic spin on it, we wouldn’t care.” He pointed at the newspaper. “ _This_ wasn’t supposed to happen. I can turn an eye to what Barnes and Rogers have been doin’, but I can’t keep them safe when it’s all over the papers like this.”

 

“Goddamn it,” she hissed and sunk down lower in her seat because, “ _goddamn it_.” A blue ticket—the two of them could get a _blue ticket_ because of her. A man back home who had one of those… _fuck_. She had went and fucked up so _bad_.

 

“And without our star,” he drawled because he _had_ to make it worse, didn’t he? “The SSR is shut down.”

 

“Lie to ‘em then,” Quinn blurted before she could even think how they would. He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, but she leaned up and started to explain that, “we can tell ‘em I’m a defect. Steve and Buck can still have their perfect little wives back home. I can be the…the broad that doesn’t match up to no one. But like any other defect out there, I can play my part in the war, too. Can’t you spin it like that?”

 

Phillips’ nasty expression didn’t alter any kind of way, but she could see in his eyes how he mulled it over. “Get Private Lorraine to call for Barnes and Rogers. Next time they see the press, they’ll lay it on ‘em.” He picked up the paper and rolled it up. “You better hope this works.”

 

“I’ll pray with all my little defective heart, colonel.” Quinn shot back. “Permission to be dismissed?”

 

“Get outta my office, Hayden.”

 

“Sir, yes sir.”

 

\---

 

To the people that weren’t her Ma, Pa, little brother, Josie, Josie’s momma and little sister, Quinn had been known as a defect. Most of the time, it didn’t even matter whether they knew about her marks or not because she’d never ever been normal. Back when she was little and used to throw fists with little boys that made fun of her or Josie, the older ladies would cluck at her and her Ma, say how that wasn’t how “little ladies should act.” And the fact that she’d been so close to Josie didn’t stick well with a whole lot of people. For the few classmates Quinn had tried to be friendly with would usually end up with their noses in the air because “my mommy and daddy said people who don’t have a soul mark ain’t right.”

 

So, it shouldn’t have made much of a difference if the whole nation of America knew it. Hazard knew it and the press would’ve found out about her one way or another and would’ve headed to her little hometown for more details. Quinn had never been normal, but her Ma and Pa told her that shit like that didn’t matter. What mattered was how the people a person loved saw them. Whole world could fuck itself was the basic of what they said.

 

Steve and Buck would make their comments to the papers next time they came around with their cameras, pretty much say that, “Nurse Hayden sure is swell, but she’ll only ever be a friend to us.” The two of them keep their bachelor status and America’s ladies can still swoon.

 

Still, none of that should’ve mattered because her, Steve, and Bucky knew the truth. The three of them were soul mates and, yeah, the world wasn’t ready to know that, but who the fuck cared?

 

But, see, booze made a person care about the littlest stuff and she may or may not have taken teeny tiny little sips of moonshine from home. She never drank it that much because that shit could put Dum-Dum on his ass with a few shots, so she had a decent amount left in the Mason jar she carried around with her everywhere when she came overseas. It’d been stuck in the bottom of her dresser drawer for the six months she’d been in the SSR and, well, she was benched from the next few missions, so why not break it out?

 

Okay, maybe she had more than she should’ve and maybe she was _a little_ drunk, but she made sure not to put that in the letter she decided to write to Liam. Shut up. It was a nice idea.

 

 

_Liam,_

_I know it’ll be hard for you and Sophia down the road because you’re white and she’s colored. But the second you finish this letter, I want you to march down the road, knock on Momma DuPont’s door, ask to talk to Sophia, and then swear to her you’ll stick it out no matter what. The two of you are only fourteen, I know, but I know you care about each other and that’s all that matters. You swear to her that no matter how many white ladies you have to pretend to like or how many colored fellas she has to, that you’ll come back to each other._

_I wish I could say that neither of you should make pretend like that, but the truth is that you’ll probably have to. You don’t know much about what happened back in that summer I was in the hospital, but just know that you have to be smart when it comes to Sophia and you. It’ll be hard for you, so maybe show Sophia this letter because God knows she has the most brains between you two._

_Wish to God I could say that the world don’t care about the color skin two people have or what’s underneath their clothes and Ma and Pa will murder me when they find out I told yah, but someone has to. I learned it the hard way and the world still wants to teach me a lesson about how much it hates people who don’t match up with what it thinks is normal._

_Promise me, Liam, that you’ll always be safe. Keep Sophia safe, too. And I know the law won’t ever treat you as man and wife, but maybe when I come home with my two boys, once you’re seventeen or eighteen, us Hayden kids can have our own personal weddings. Down by the lake on a pretty summer day, okay? God made us this way, Liam, and if He’s the only person that knows about our vows then that’s okay by me._

_I love you._

_Your sister,_   
_Quinn_

 

 

The blonde had scribbled her name across the bottom of the paper when someone knocked on her door. She mumbled curses under her breath, but stood up from her little desk and stumbled over to open up the door. Really, it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise that on the other side stood Steve and Bucky, but it did take her for a loop. It was probably because she knew Buck was mad at her and didn’t think he’d be so keen to see her.

 

“Howdy, fellas,” Quinn drawled, slow with booze, and smiled like a dope because she was surprised but she was also real, _real_ happy to see them. “What’re you doin’ here?”

 

“You smell like a bar, baby doll.” Buck commented. “Been in the sauce, have yah?”

 

“I have _moonshine_ ,” she supplied and moved to the side some so the two of them could step inside the room. “Hey, how’d you two make it past that old crow who says no men are allowed on our floor, huh?” She asked as she looked around the hall to make sure no one saw them before she shut the door. “It’s pretty late…I think. Ain’t it?” she mumbled under her breath and looked around for a clock to let her in on the time.

 

Bucky flopped down in the chair she’d just been in which left her and Steve to the bed. “Well, I’m used to sneakin’ past little old ladies that are on the lookout for scoundrels.”

 

“Oh. So you’re a scoundrel then? You here to take my dignity, Barnes?” She leered then dropped flat onto her back so that she was stretched across the mattress. “I have lots of moonshine if y’all want some, just so yah know. It’ll knock yah on your asses. Where’d I put that jar, anyway? I could use another drink.”

 

Steve leaned over so that she could see that patented _I disapprove of this behavior, soldier_ expression he’d come up with so he could have whatever he wanted, but it wasn’t too close that she could kiss him or anything like that. He actually kept pretty far from her, even if they were on a bed, like he was afraid she’d take his honor. “I don’t think that’s a swell idea, Quinn. Maybe you should lay off now.”

 

“No need to be a stick in the mud, Steven.” Quinn chirped and tapped him on the nose, but didn’t move for more booze. The bed was nice and comfortable. “Y’all never said how come you were here.”

 

“Phillips told us about the plan. We came to check on you.” Steve explained softly before he shot the other man a sour look. “And Buck came to say sorry for bein’ so mean to you these past couple days.”

 

Quinn moaned and threw an arm over her eyes. “Aw, c’mon, we went over this, honey. Bucky don’t have to say sorry to me because I done went and fucked up. I made the world think bad ah yah and that’s bad ah me. I deserve what’s comin’ to me.”

 

“I don’t think anyone deserves to take the fall for us,” Bucky spoke up. “You have no idea what kind of shit they’re about to say behind your back, Quinn. You shouldn’t have done that because of us.”

 

“Can’t throw nothin’ I ain’t heard before,” she threw her other arm into the air, like that’d make some kind of point. “And I have a pretty nice idea of what they’ll say—that I’m the lady that’ll try to corrupt you two boys into doin’ dirty deeds, that I ain’t right in the head, that I’m a defect? I’m used to that last one. I can take it.”

 

She couldn’t see, but she heard the frown in Steve’s voice when he replied with, “you shouldn’t have to.”

 

“I’d rather take it than see you two be sent home ‘cause of blue tickets. I like y’all, y’know, and it wouldn’t be no fun here without yah.” Quinn shot back. “’S okay, really,” she leaned up on the bed and spotted her jar of clear liquor on the desk beside her letter. “Hey, hey, did yah know I used to carry moonshine for my Pa?”

 

“You what now?” Bucky asked incredulously.

 

“Yeah, back when money didn’t come around none, Pa made a still and sold his product to people around Hazard. Sold outta town, too, he was so popular. Men wasn’t so happy about not being able to take care of their families, yah know. It really helped us survive, especially once Liam was born,” she explained. “While Pa was outta town, I’d run product back ‘n forth to people in Hazard. Happier than hell that I was able to help out,”

 

Steve snorted beside her. “So you’ve never stole a truck, but you’re a bootlegger?”

 

That made her pout. “Our family ah Hayden had to survive somehow, didn’t we?”

 

“Maybe we should put you to bed,” Bucky suggested. “We can talk when you’re not drunker than a skunk.”

 

“It’d be more fun if you two were both drunk as skunks, too.” Quinn crooned but started to untuck the sheets so she could crawl underneath them. “Y’all two wanna bunk here with me? I ain’t never slept with a boy that wasn’t my brother before. Don’t even have to be dirty since Steve looks ready to pass out just ‘cause I talked about it,” she grinned at the blond who’d went red in the face.

 

“Yeah, that means we definitely have to leave.” Bucky laughed, “And don’t you mind Steve. He knows his way under the sheets real nice. Just never been with a dame before, is all.”

 

“ _Bucky!_ ” Steve snapped and his glare moved over to Quinn when she started to laugh and laugh. That boy looked so darn cute when he was embarrassed. “Damn it, Quinn, don’t do that. It’ll make him think he’s funnier than he actually is.”

 

“Go make sure the coast is clear, sourpuss, while I tuck Nurse Hayden here into bed.” Bucky ordered and Steve pouted, but did as he was told. When Steve was out of the room, Bucky stared down at her with a fondness she’d only ever really seen out of him on account of Steve. It made her feel warmer than any moonshine was able to. “Thank you for what you’re about to do, Quinn. I mean that. I really am sorry that I’ve been a hard ass toward you lately or that you have to do this at all.”

 

“Give me a smooch and we’ll call it even.” Quinn tapped her bottom lip and jutted it out so that made it more noticeable…in case he didn’t know where it was, of course.

 

Bucky chuckled and shook his head. “Drunker than a skunk,” he rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss her forehead instead. “And on _moonshine_ , too. You’re such a hick. Go to sleep.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” she whispered and pulled the covers up so they were under her chin. “Don’t tell Dum-Dum or any of the boys about my stash, okay?”

 

“Got it.”

 

\---

 

The Commandos had to head out on their next mission without Quinn the day after her whole drunken fiasco and she was sort of happy because she didn’t have to see Steve and Buck after she’d openly put the moves on them and asked them to bed. Still, she’d rather face them than have to sit around the SSR, behind a desk as a goddamned secretary because there was no nurse work needed at headquarters. Hell, the worst problem was paper cuts. And since Peggy had went out on her own private mission that Quinn wasn’t allowed to know about, there was no one around to keep Quinn preoccupied except for Private Lorraine.

 

On day seven of the Commandos out of headquarters, someone had leaned across the desk Quinn had been stationed at and took the pen out of her hand. The nurse had looked up, about to snap at Howard because he’d been up her ass all week, but then almost cried when she saw Peggy across the desk from her, an eyebrow raised. “This whole bloody place goes to hell when I’m gone, doesn’t it?” She sighed.

 

“Baby, you have _no_ idea. Please, please, _please_ tell me you’re here to save my sorry ass.” Quinn whined and wasn’t even scared that she’d called Peggy baby, she was that happy to see her.

 

“I need to pick up some specialty items in the city. Grab your coat before I rethink my decision to sneak you out of here and possibly come under fire of the colonel’s wrath.”

 

Quinn was about to lean across the desk and plant one on that woman’s lips. “Marry me?”

 

“Buy me lunch and we’ll see.”

 

“Deal.”

 

\---

 

“Too dark” Peggy commented from behind Quinn while the blonde was stuck in front of a mirror, lips pursed with a dark red lipstick stained on them. Quinn’s nose scrunched up, but she took the advice, and started to wipe her lips with a tissue. “Since you so wisely blurted out to the cameras that Steve and James are your soul mates, I assume it’s been well with them?”

 

Quinn looked over her shoulder to watch the other woman examine some lipstick tubes. “What? You don’t want to rip me a new one about this whole fucking mess? Pretty sure you’d be all over that there…”

 

“You haven’t seen the papers today, have you?” Peggy sighed and spun around to face Quinn, expression sad and sympathetic. “Their mission is over and they talked with the camera crews. You’ve officially been made out to be a seductress.”

 

“Hey, even a floozy can help out in the war.” Quinn dismissed and, like she did when she didn’t want to think too much about shit that made her heart hurt, she turned around and preoccupied herself with a hunt for the perfect tube of lipstick.

 

Peggy stepped up to stand beside her. “They’ve clearly never spent time with you. A seductress, really,” she snorted. “You couldn’t seduce the flat side of a barn and from what you’ve told us, you’ve spent your entire life with those.”

 

Quinn smiled. “Look at that. Pegs has chops.”

 

“This is a very brave thing to do, you know.” Peggy whispered.

 

“Just…well, the world would run into the shitter if there wasn’t Steve and Buck to lead the boys. Jesus, who’d lead them? _Dum-Dum_?” she tried to keep back the tears that started to prick at the corner of her eyes. “And maybe the world will look at defects nicer now since one’s with the Commandos and all.” She paused and looked over at her friend. “Do you have a mark, Pegs?”

 

She hummed and shook her head. “Afraid I don’t,”

 

That was a lot less common than people with marks, but a lot more so than people like Quinn or Josie. “Me ‘n you, two defective women…we’ll rule the world and show ‘em all.” Quinn looped her arm through Peggy’s and smiled even if it was wobbly. “Got this, we do,”

 

“Buffoon,” and that was more a tease than actual insult. “You’re about to risk your reputation for them. I take it it’s been well with them.”

 

Quinn rubbed the back of her neck and tried to not blush too much. “Yeah, suppose so,” she mumbled. “Two dumb kids from Brooklyn, that’s what those two are. But they’re nice, too. And definitely…sweet…uh,” she noticed the smirk that Pegs had and pouted. “Stop takin’ so much joy outta this, damn it.”

 

“The side of a barn,” she reminded.

 

“Shuddap,” Quinn hissed and elbowed her in the ribs. “What’re we in here for, anyway?”

 

“My favorite brand, of course.” Pegs announced. “Sweet dreams,” she reiterated when Quinn looked at her in confusion. “It’s laced with a sedative. As long as you don’t ingest it yourself, any kiss can quite literally knock a man off his feet. Its come in handy quite a few times, I must admit.”

 

Quinn stared at her for a good long while before she asked, “So is there a jewelers around here for me to buy you a ring or what?”


	8. When We Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is gonna be a little shorter than usual...mostly because I put a whole bunch of comfort fluff in here and really just wanted to end it on a cute, happy note. You're welcome. I hope it isn't too crappy or cheesy, though. Ugh. I'm very self-conscious about my fluff-writing skills, honestly. Anyway, you'll also notice that shit's really starting to change between the three of them. Romance is in the air y'all!!  
> Ah, also, I added a new tag because this chapter discusses using alcohol to cope with emotional trauma. There's no alcohol abuse or anything...just talking about using it in the past (Quinn) and wanting to use it in the present (Bucky). So, yeah, heads up there.  
>  I wanted to also thank **Lavanyalabelle** for literally reviewing me all the time. You're so great, sweetie. :')
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone from Marvel.

Quinn would murder a man. She’d open up that window someone tapped-tapped-tapped away on and then shove them so they plummeted to their death and no one would ever suspect that she’d done it. That was the _least_ a person deserved when it was _three_ and she had to be up for a mission at _six_. God have mercy on whatever dumbass decided to come to her and she swore if it was some dumb G.I. that wanted to see his sweetheart nurse, she’d…well, she made it clear what she’d do.

 

The blonde rolled out of bed and stormed over to the window, didn’t even mind to check and see who it was before she slid open her window, opened her mouth, and hissed, “What in the _blue hell_ —” then she blinked and squinted to make sure that was indeed who she was sure it was there on her fire escape. “Buck?”

 

“God have mercy on my soul,” he placed a hand over his heart and she couldn’t see his face so well in the dark, but she could feel those sharp eyes on her. “Is it Christmas or what? I came to ask for some of that moonshine, but I think some kisses from you in that getup will get me plenty drunk enough.”

 

For a minute there, Quinn had no idea what he was on about, but then she looked down at herself and her face went redder than an apple. “Get the hell in here!” She barked and, at the same time, tried to cover his eyes. “And don’t be a peepin’ Tom! Let me…just— _goddamn it_ , Barnes.” This was what she deserved when she slept in all but her panties and the white cotton shirt that went under her Commando uniform. “Where’s Steve?”

 

“Don’t have Steve with me _everywhere_ , y’know,” Buck muttered and she looked over her shoulder to stare at him, a hand over his eyes and a frown stretched across his face. “Wanted to have some fun with some fellas from the 107th that are in London on leave, is all. Steve was a stick in the mud about it.”

 

Which meant that there was more to it than that because Steve wanted Buck to have as much fun as he could, God knows they don’t have a chance for it much, and he loved to have fun with the best of them. So for Steve to be a stick in the mud, they must’ve been upset with each other…and that meant that _she’d_ have to clean up the shit between them.

 

Quinn slipped on a robe and asked, “What’re you two on about this time?” She paused and added, “Oh. I’m decent now. You can look.”

 

Buck dropped his hand and pouted. “I’d ah been fine to see yah without the robe, sweetheart.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, put the moves on me all you want,” she shot him a dirty look. “But you’re _gonna_ answer my question. What happened with you and Steve, huh? Who started it? I’m ah have to finish it, ‘course, but who started it?”

 

“We ain’t—” she sent him that _don’t bullshit me, Barnes_ stare and he broke down, lost the expression on his face, made her a little scared at how cold he went. “Nothin’ happened, Quinn. Now, can I borrow some of that moonshine or what? I’ll leave if you ain’t interested to share.”

 

So, she’d have to bribe him. “Tell me what crawled up your ass and died,” she drawled as she turned around to throw open her bottom drawer and pull out the Mason jar, “and _then_ you can have it. Oh, and ain’t it a little late to meet up with some buddies? It’s three, honey. Pretty sure if y’all wanted to get drunk, you would’ve started earlier than this, yeah?”

 

When she peered over her shoulder, Buck had his hard stare set on the wooden floor. Quinn wasn’t stupid. She knew what it was like when you wanted to drink until you couldn’t remember your own damn name anymore. So, she blew out a breath, tucked the jar back into the drawer, and turned around to walk back over to him. “Don’t wanna talk to Steve, fine,” she started to unbutton his coat. “Don’t wanna talk to me, fine,” she slid it away from his shoulders and draped it over the nearby chair. “But I’m not about to let you end up behind bars and be a pain in the ass for Phillips who’ll be a pain in the rest of our asses ‘cause you wanted to stumble around the city, drunker than a skunk.”

 

“Then I’ll leave,” he snapped and reached out for his coat. “There’s other places I can be that’ll let me have a damn drink.”

 

Quinn knew a whole bunch about bad ways to cope with the hurt because words were hard, words made a person remember what they didn’t want to, and when she hadn’t had Josie anymore to curl up with, all that was left was booze. All the horrible shit that happened…it made her rotten inside and how could she ever talk to someone she loved about that, huh? It’d been easier to talk into a bottle where she could swallow those words back up and, bit by little bit, numb those hurts.

 

Now when she saw it on the other end, she knew how much it must’ve made Ma and Pa hurt, to see her so shut in and isolated, and it made her feel even more rotten. Maybe she’d write them a letter sometime, tell them how much she loved them and how much happier she was…well, aside from the war. Yeah, she’d have to make some amends once she was back home.

 

“Don’t do that, Buck.” Quinn muttered and stepped forward to catch his wrist. “Don’t push us back.” He’d been with Steve since they were kids, but now she was here and fuck it all if she wasn’t about to help keep these two in line. “I won’t make you talk ‘bout it, but I won’t let you run from me, either. Booze won’t help.”

 

Bucky wouldn’t look at her when he shot back with, “you don’t understand.”

 

“Then make me,” she replied.

 

“’M fucked up,” he shakily declared. “They fucked me up and—” he snatched the hem of his shirt and tore it over his head like a bat out of hell. “Look at it, damn it. I’m… _goddamn it_.”

 

Before she even had the chance to stop him or ask him what he meant by all that, he tore the gauze that she’d put there herself when a soldier had the drop on him and sliced at him a little with a knife. Quinn wasn’t a medical doctor, see, but she knew her nurse skills, knew how quick a man was supposed to heal. That slice hadn’t been so deep that it needed stitches, but it’d still been bad—scared her for a second there. That slice had happened on their last mission which had been a week back and it should’ve started to heal, yeah, but it _shouldn’t_ have been that pink. That…that was a lot like how…well, how Steve healed…

 

“‘Good becomes great, bad becomes worse.’ That’s what the doctor that made Steve what he is now said about his serum. Quinn, we both know I ain’t a man like Steve. There ain’t no men like him. Gonna end up with a fucked up red face like _Schmidt_ and they’ll…I’m…I’ll be worse than I am now. It’s startin’, Quinn. It’s only a matter ah time now.”

 

“No, no, no,” Quinn darted forward and cupped his face in her hands, tilted his head so he had to look down at her. “Bucky, you’re one of the littlest little shits I ever met, but you’re also one of the best men. You’ve saved a whole fuck-bunch of people. You will _never_ be one of those sick bastards, you hear me? That’s not the kinda man you are. I know evil men and you’ll never be them.”

 

“You don’t know what kinda shit’s in my head when I’m behind a gun, when I—”

 

“If you don’t think Steve wouldn’t cut someone down with his shield or that I wouldn’t shoot a man down to save your life like you do ours then you’re madder than a hatter.” Quinn took a deep breath, released it, and told him, “You’re on our skin whether you wanna be or not. We lose you, we lose a piece ah ourselves. I don’t want that. Never knew how…whole I felt ‘til I met y’all…” She admitted. “Don’t…skip out on us now. Please?”

 

“Jesus Christ,” he hissed and crushed her to his chest suddenly. “Jesus, I need to keep you away from Steve. How the fuck ‘m I supposed to say no to faces like yours and his?” He laughed shakily and then pressed his face into her hair. “Don’t tell Steve.”

 

Quinn huffed out a breath. “I’m not some tattletale. I know.” Then, she returned his embrace, squeezed him so hard that he knew she was there and that she cared so, so much about him. “You should stay here with me. It, uh, can…be real cold in here…” When his chest started to shake and he tried to hold back his laughter, she knocked her forehead against his chest and moaned. “That was bad, I know.”

 

“Y’know what they say, don’t yah? They say that if you’re _really_ cold that it helps if you don’t have your clothes on.”

 

“God help me. You’re a damn moron.” Quinn leaned back and shoved him square in his chest. “Take off your shoes and get the hell under those blankets, Sarge. That’s an order.”

 

“Well, since you asked me _so_ nice…”

 

Buck had just dropped down onto the mattress to toe off his boots when there was another tap on her window. Since no one else was so rude that they’d come to her room at three—except maybe Pegs…okay, yeah, she’d do it, too—she knew it must’ve been Steve. Either he wanted to say his sorry or he wanted to keep it up. The tempers on these boys, she swore. Rile them up and they were ruthless, went on and on until someone had to knock them over the head and say when enough was enough.

 

“How y’all ain’t killed each other by now, I’ll never know.” Quinn said by way of greetings when she slid open the window a second time. “C’mon in. We was about to settle down for the _three hours_ until we have to be at the airstrip.” And she made sure that Buck could hear her across the room.

 

Steve winced. “I’m sorry that we got you involved in this.” The fact that he didn’t throw Bucky under the bus meant he wanted to say sorry then. “Look, we can head back to our rooms and let you have your rest.”

 

“You’re here now and I’m too tired to deal with anymore of y’all’s shit. Strip down and get in bed.” She untied her robe and tossed it over the chair with Buck’s coat. This choked sort of sound came out of Steve’s mouth from behind her and she glanced over her shoulder to see that he had his eyes dead-set on the floorboard. This really couldn’t have been the first time he’d seen a lady in so little, right?

 

Buck smirked as she dropped down on the bed next to him and leaned in to whisper, but not really whisper, “Don’t mind him. He’s just never seen a dame in her underthings before.” And, yeah, that was the answer to her question which made her feel a little bad because Steve was so red in the face but a little proud, too, that she was his first in that sense.

 

“Asshole,” Steve muttered as he walked across the room. “Quinn, are you sure you want to—” he rubbed the back of his neck and made sure his eyes _weren’t_ on her as she stretched across the mattress. “I don’t want you to feel…pressured or nothin’…”

 

“Two of the most gorgeous men in the world in my bed,” she swatted Bucky away so she could pull the covers back some more, “God, my hands are fuckin’ tied here. What the fuck ever ‘m I gonna do?” She rolled her eyes. “Get in the bed, dumbasses.” On opposite sides of the bed, Steve and Buck stared at one another, waited to see who would take the leap first. “You two fuck each other’s brains out _all the time_. I don’t know why you’re so uppity ‘bout spending the night in my bed.”

 

Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “She’s got a point on us there, pal.”

 

“Guess so, huh?” Steve shot back with a crooked, tired smile.

 

“What can I say?” Quinn sighed all dramatic-like. “I’m the smartest there is between us.”

 

“World’s fucked then if that’s the case,” Buck retorted.

 

Quinn was too tired to even make it look like she was mad because she wasn’t. Honest, she was about to let them have the bed and she could sleep on the floor, she was so nervous. Last time she’d shared a bed had been when she was with Josie—and it hadn’t even been a bed because the two of them snuck out to an old barn to have their own private time with each other. The two of them didn’t look any better. This was…different from what they’d had between them the past seven months.

 

Steve put on his bravest face and went down next to her first, slid underneath the covers and tucked himself there beside her. He threw an arm across her stomach and put his chin on the top of her head. Because Bucky would follow Steve to hell and back if he could, once Steve was in bed, he went down, too, and took her other side. And it could’ve been his own little way to say sorry, but when he was settled down next to her, he slid his fingers through Steve’s and their clasped hands rested there on her stomach.

 

“Gonna kiss and make up now?” she teased and tried to make it so her heart wouldn’t beat so fast.

 

“I’ll suck him off when we wake up. That’ll make him forget all about it.” Bucky said through a yawn.

 

Steve choked on nothing and sputtered, “That’s inappropriate in front of a lady, Buck!”

 

“Yeah, like I haven’t heard worse in what the paper’s said ‘bout me this past month…or outta Dum-Dum or basically anyone else in the army…” Quinn drawled sarcastically then tilted her head to the side so it was pressed to Steve’s chest and hummed. “Jesus fuck, Steve, you’re like a furnace.”

 

“’S that damn serum,” Buck scooched down a little so that his chin was on her shoulder. “Thanks for this, Quinn.” He muttered into her ear.

 

“Yeah, and sorry again that Buck’s such a jerk—”

 

“You no-good little punk—”

 

Quinn beamed at no one really and said, louder than the both of them, “ _goodnight_ , you assholes,” and then covered their hands with hers.

 

\---

 

Three hours later, when the alarm blared in her little hotel-room-turned-quarters, Quinn moaned and tried to reach out to turn that damn noisemaker off, but Steve was in her way. He huffed in his sleep, turned to the side a little so he could reach out and slam his hand down on the alarm himself, then turned back over so he could wrap an arm around her waist and press his face back into her hair. Quinn couldn’t say she much minded to be manhandled like that and, Jesus, she could fall asleep perfect, wrapped up in his arms like that.

 

Now that her back was to his chest, she had a nice view of Buck and it made her heart lurch a second because he was wide awake and those blue eyes were on her. Still, they weren’t as cold as they’d been last night. Actually, he had this warm smile on his lips. “You two make a hell of a picture, I’ll tell you what.” He whispered so he wouldn’t wake up Steve.

 

“Thanks?” she couldn’t keep the grin off her face and reached out so she could lace her fingers through his. “C’mere,” she murmured and tugged him toward her. He went without a hitch, pressed up real close so that she was a little Quinn sandwich—not that she minded. “You sleep okay?”

 

“It was nice,” he drawled, “but it’d been better if it was more than three hours.”

 

Her shoulders shook with laughter, but she didn’t make a peep. “Whose fucking fault is that?”

 

“Shut up.” Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and breathed out through his nose. “Will you promise me something? From me to you?” her brows furrowed but she nodded and let him say what he wanted. “I can’t sit here and say I’ll make it through this war, so take care of Steve for me no matter what. If I ain’t there no more, you settle down with him, pop out some kids, name ‘em after me if you want, but you have an apple pie life with him, y’hear? That’s what he’s always deserved. You deserve that, too.”

 

And that…that upset Quinn because, “What? You don’t think you deserve that outta life, too?” He opened his mouth, but she shook her head and stared at him hard. “The three ah us are in this together now. If you think me ‘n him can move on like that and not have holes in our hearts where you used to be, you’re dumb as hell.” She leaned up so she could kiss him on the forehead, poured as much love into it that she could. “Come hell or high water, you’re gonna come home with us, James Barnes.”

 

“I must’ve pissed someone off to end up with the two most stubborn asses in the world as my soul mates.” Bucky lamented but he smiled at her, anyway, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead the same as she’d done with him. “Let us take you on a date. Next time we’re on leave, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” Quinn breathed out. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”

 

“…wassat ‘bout a date?” Steve slurred from behind her.

 

“Don’t ask questions if you ain’t a part of the conversation, Steve.” Bucky teased as he leaned over the top of her head and she heard his lips smack loudly against Steve’s…she had no idea where he kissed him, really. “Two of us are the luckiest fellas in the world,” he announced. “We’re takin’ Quinn on a date.”

 

“ _Really?_ That’s—”

 

Someone knocked on the door to her room and the three of them clammed up while someone yelled from the other side, “Nurse Hayden!” _Shit_ , it was the head nurse on their floor, the one that made sure her and the other SSR nurses didn’t act like sluts or idiots. “You asked for me to make sure you were up, dear. We also need to have a talk before you leave for the airfield. One of your neighbors said she thought she heard a man in here last night.”

 

“ _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ ,” Quinn tore herself away from the two men and started to wave her arms wildly because they just laid around in bed and gawked at the door. “Leave yah idiots!”

 

“Nurse Hayden?”

 

“Be there in a second, Nurse Dolores!”

 

"Remember," Buck hissed while he started to hop around in a really desperate attempt to shove on his boots, "a _date._ All three of us. It'll happen as soon as we're back here in London, understand?"

 

"Yeah, as long as I'm not kicked outta the SSR for a tumble in the hay and we don't die takin' down Hydra!" Quinn snapped back and shooed them away. "Now, go, damn it! It's not like we're not about to see each other at the plane!"

 

"Bye Quinn!" Steve loudly whispered, so maybe it wasn't actually a whisper, while Bucky tried to shove him out the door. "I can't wait for our date!" Lord, the idiot was still half-asleep, but he looked over the moon.

 

Quinn could understand the feeling.


	9. The Hanging Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Are you, are you_   
>  _Coming to the tree?_   
>  _Where the dead man called out_   
>  _For his love to flee."_   
>  **\-- "The Hanging Tree"**   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you were sitting here, thinking that they were gonna have this date in their chapter, didn't you? Oh, you poor, poor naïve children. You have no idea who I am, do you? You don't get that lucky yet.  
> Welp, lemme get down to business here. **TRIGGER WARNING!** There is a panic attack had in this chapter and some depersonalization is described as result of that panic attack. Rape is also discussed, but not explicitly described. To be honest, it's really only implied. There's also some victim blaming, I guess? Quinn believes what happened to her and Josie is her fault.  
>  Goddamn it, there is so much angst in this chapter. I am literally a horrible human being to leave the last chapter where I did and then do this to you all. But, see, I wanted Quinn to lay it ALL out on the table for Steve and Bucky before the romancing happens, y'know. So, this had to happen eventually. You'll finally know about that ill-fated incident that tore Quinn and Josephine apart. There's comfort, though? Naw, that doesn't make up for any of this.  
> Anyway, to be extra safe, in case anyone is triggered by the tags above since I kinda just threw them out there as I went along with the story and y'all never asked for this, I'll put a chapter summary down at the bottom. Be safe to yourselves, sweetie-pies. <3  
> I love you all!
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone from Marvel. There. I said it.

“And here I done assumed it’d be heavier than _this_ ,” to make her point even clearer, with all the ease in the world, she turned that trademarked red, white, and blue shield over so that she saw the leather straps Steve used to put it on his arm then touched them. They seemed a little worn down. Maybe she should order Howard to fix them up a little when they made it back to London. “This sure is somethin’ else, I tell you what.” Rather than put her arm in those straps herself—because…that didn’t seem too appropriate to do up in her head since Steve was the symbol to the war, not her—she sat it up on her knees so that the front side faced out, to the boys on the other side of the truck. “Well, how do I look, huh?”

 

On the bench across from her, Steve ducked his head and smiled, but then looked back up at her with a devious little smile that she _knew_ he must’ve learned from Buck. “God, you look like one of them pinup ladies, Quinn.” That _asshole_ …he made her cheeks run beet red. “Maybe Senator Brandt should’ve used _you_ to make people buy war bonds.”

 

“Yeah, put her in one of those skirts the dames in the USO wear,” Buck added, next to her, and ducked to the side a little when she tried to elbow him, but it wasn’t like he had that much room to run. “Don’t be like that, doll-face. The two of us fellas wanna _lavish_ our best gal with some compliments. Ain’t that how it is, Steve?” And no one— _no one_ —should make lavish sound as dirty as he did.

 

Down near the front of the truck, Dum-Dum whistled. “Look at how red her face is, boys.”

 

“Fuck all y’all,” Quinn complained but that didn’t stop how she smiled at them. “You’re all dumbasses and I have no clue how I put up with any of yah…except Dernier. I can put up with him and—” she stopped and blinked because, over the roar of the truck, she swore she heard a crack like someone had shot off their firearm. But Steve, who stared at her while he waited for her to finish and who was a lot more physically enhanced than her, didn’t seem too alarmed. Huh. “…that’s only ‘cause he don’t speak a lick of English,” she finished and rubbed at her ear lobe. Maybe she’d been around one too many grenades and explosions because the boys did love their dynamite and that caused bad ears sometimes.

The truck swerved to the side in the next second and Quinn squawked in surprise as both she and the shield in her lap were thrown forward. Steve, ever the hero, was there to catch her and hold on as the truck went out of control, or so it seemed like it had. It went this way and that way, so what else could she suspect? The truck spun in another crazy direction which made Bucky careen forward like she’d done a second before, so Steve reached an arm out to catch and hold on to him, too. All the other Commandos shouted and screamed at the driver to “watch it up there, pal!” but Quinn _knew_ that there wasn’t a driver up there no more.

 

“Goddamn ambush!” Buck shouted at the lot of them, like he could read her mind…or it could’ve been spelled out on her face. Someone may’ve been about to ask how he was so sure—because they’d been over some bad terrain before that made them rattle and roll—but then the distinct boom of a grenade sounded off, a little too close to the back where she and Steve were, and that shut everyone up real quick…

 

…except for her because she cried, “Well, what the hell are we supposed to do now?” There was supposed to be a rendezvous point where their ride would’ve dropped them off at before they hiked it the rest of the way to the next Hydra base on their list.

 

“Why don’t we try and make it out of _this_ alive first?” Morita barked and he had a point there.

 

Their driverless truck seemed to make the decision of what was about to happen next for them because it must’ve slammed into a tree or a wall or a what-have-you because everyone, her and Steve who had an arm hooked around her waist still, was jerked toward the front of the truck. Thank God the bunch of them were all sent onto the floor because, as soon as the truck didn’t move no more, the bastards that ambushed them let loose rounds where their heads had been a second before.

 

“Goddamn it,” Steve cursed above her and rolled over so that he was on top of her. “This is just fuckin’ _perfect_!” And it was like he took the words from all their mouths. Their mission had, without a doubt, become a grade-A _shit-storm_.

 

The material that covered the back of their truck had been shredded underneath the hail of bullets, so when Buck shouted that someone “throw a goddamn grenade already,” while he nodded at Steve, Dernier—because that man _always_ had an explosive on him—was able to lob one out of the truck pretty easy. The explosion stopped the Nazi fire for a bit and it could’ve been because the grenade hit its mark or they wanted to wait until they could see past the dirt that blew up in the air, but it was enough time for the Howlers to get their shit together and all throw themselves up to shoot back.

 

Quinn made a noise in the back of her throat, shoved her fingers in her ears, and hunkered down because it was about to get real loud around her. Sweet Jesus, she hoped that no one got shot because she was in the perfect position to watch that happen, maybe feel the spray of blood, watch them drop down next to her, and, God, she just couldn’t lose any of them now—especially not Steve and Bucky. She didn’t want to admit it, but they were in a fucked up situation here. Who knew when the Nazis would wrap around and take them from behind and then they were going to be up the goddamn creek without a paddle for sure.

 

“Steve!” she screamed and threw her hand against his shield so that he’d for sure feel her if he couldn’t hear her over the bullets. He looked down at her and she shouted, “We need to make a retreat before we’re so chuck full of bullets that we’ll be shitting them!”

 

Someone replied with a, “Aw, c’mon, Quinn!” but Steve frowned even more and furrowed his brows like he was taking her words into consideration—which she would’ve knocked him over the head to put some sense into him if he didn’t. He started to look around the area while the rest of the boys covered him since the Nazis started up their gunfire again.

 

Steve must’ve spotted some kind of miracle because he hurriedly and loudly informed them that, “There’s a bell tower over there and it doesn’t look like any Nazis are camped out in it! Goddamn, it’s got a perfect bird’s nest for Buck to pick ‘em off out of!”

 

“Sorry to inform you, chap, but no one would pass up a bloody gem like that!” Falsworth shot back.

 

“You wanna end up surrounded out here or have some kind of fightin’ chance in there?” Bucky snarled and snatched her upper arm, looked down at her with a frown and ordered, “You keep in the middle of us, Quinn! Don’t end up somewhere that one of these bastards can pick yah off!”

                                                            

To which she said, “You ain’t have to tell me twice!”

 

Quinn leaped into action the second the words were out of her mouth and clasped the hand that Steve had shoved in her face to help haul her to her feet quicker. He hopped down from the truck before her and then wrapped his hands around her waist to set her down next to him. Someone screamed, “Look out!” and Quinn turned her head in time to see one of those blue laser beams slam into Steve’s shield. It knocked him a few feet away from her and flat onto his back and that scared the shit out of her, so of course she ran to check on him even if Buck had tried to snatch the collar of her coat to keep her close to him and the truck instead.

 

Steve was up on a knee when she closed in on him, but some Nazi close to their position tossed a grenade between her and him before she could reach the rest of the way. That idiot would try and save her, he would, and so she jumped out of the way and prayed to God he would throw his shield up to take the blow. Unless it was a real huge explosion, he didn’t end up too hurt when he had the shield. Of course, that left her a sitting duck, all on her lonesome, ready to be picked off and that’s what someone tried to do.

 

A Nazi threw an arm around her neck and shoved her back against his chest, whispered some German that she didn’t understand into her ear but made her shudder anyway, and tried to haul her backward. Steve tried to make a dash for her, but the bullets started up, and he was no use to anyone dead, so he had no choice but to crouch down into a little ball and let the shield take the brunt of it. All in all, Quinn was now stuck down in trouble town, but she’d had some learning from a real close friend to help with her little problem.

 

So, while the Nazi tried to shove her back, she wriggled around in his grasp, got her feet planted on the ground better than before, and started to try and push forward to get out of his arms. What happened instead was that neither Quinn nor the Nazi paid much attention to the kind of terrain they were in and there was a hill not too far behind their feet that led to a forest that pretty much surrounded the little bombed-out town, so their little scuffle pushed them back even more toward that hill and when the Nazi tripped, she went down with him.

 

Quinn squeaked in surprise and then the world started to spin while she tumbled down the hill. A tree was what ended up as her brakes and she shouted in pain because they’d rolled pretty damn fast and that bark hit her dead square in the stomach. Now, either that rat bastard recovered quicker than she did because he had more cushion with his uniform than hers or he didn’t hit a tree, but he was on top of her as soon as she rolled over and tried to clutch at her now sore stomach.

 

“Son of a—” she snarled wordlessly and threw the heel of her hand up into his little mask, tried to throw him away from her enough so that she had more room to fight. Honest to God, she had no idea how she always ended up in tussles with Germans in the goddamn mud. “Trained, lethal soldiers, my ass,” she wheezed when she remembered that Pegs had said Hydra goons were better than the normal German soldier.

 

“ _Kapitäns Hure_ ,” Mister Hydra sneered while he still loomed over her because that punch hadn’t knocked him back as much as she hoped. Quinn didn’t know much German, but that sounded a whole lot like _captain_ in English, so she took it as an insult to Steve’s honor and tried to punch him in the throat instead of his facemask. She really needed to learn how to swear in German so that, one, she knew what they hell they went on about when her and the boys faced off against them, and two, it’d be damn nice to throw curses at them in their mother tongue. It got the point that she hated them across a whole lot better.

 

The fucker was stronger than she’d expected when he went and backhanded her across the face. It stunned her enough that she didn’t have time to try and block his hands when they reached down and wrapped around her throat. It was automatic, when she sucked in a huge breath, and she tried to squirm around underneath him, but he had her pinned down with his weight. She could feel where his crotch pressed down against hers—and, later on, she’d think that it wasn’t because he got off on hurting her, but because he needed to get better footing down or something—and she looked around wildly, saw the trees above them, and then…then…

 

Then, Quinn had no idea whether she was in a war or back in Hazard. God help her, was that a rope thrown over that branch above her head? There was red on that man’s arm…was it a Hydra patch or blood? Hadn’t he been dressed in black a second ago? Maybe there wasn’t enough air to her head because he was in white now. She clawed at his hands, tried to dig her nails down, cried out weakly because this couldn’t happen again— _not again_. Someone please help her, help her, _helpherhelpherhelpher_ —

 

Some… _thing_ clanged from above her and that noise bounced around inside her head while the pressure around her throat vanished. Quinn coughed and sputtered and tried to suck in all the air she’d lost while, at the same time, tried to make her body cooperate and _move, goddamn it_. “Quinn!” someone screamed above her and then there were hands around her arms. They were back— _they were back_ —and they wanted more, they wanted to hurt her inside as much as they’d done outside and she’d rather die than have that happen again.

 

“Quinn!” a touch to her cheek…too tender to be one of their hands…wasn’t it? “Quinn, baby, it’s me.” That voice said quieter, near her ear now, and it…it _wasn’t_ them. It was—it was—“I’m gonna pick you up and we’re gonna make a run for the bell tower, okay?” Bell tower…yeah…she was in a war. It was a war around her and she was with her soul mates and it was Steve who picked her up without even a noise of effort.

 

Bat-shit crazy was what Quinn was when she decided, wrapped up in Steve’s arm, that she’d rather spend the rest of her life surrounded with explosions than spend another minute surrounded by the silence of those trees that did nothing but watch her break to pieces all those years back.

 

\---

 

Quinn had no idea whether there’d been people in the bell tower, didn’t mind no attention toward the tussles that could’ve happened when the team made it inside. Stuck up inside her head, the world didn’t much matter to her, if she had to be honest about it. It moved around her, but that was it. She didn’t interact with it and it didn’t care a lick about her, either.

 

“…doll, look at me,” hands pressed to her cheeks and forced her head up to look at Buck. “Quinn, you’re safe, okay? Say it with me, sweetheart. You’re safe and Steve and me are gonna die before we let you get hurt like that again.”

 

No. They shouldn’t do that. No one should even bother to keep her safe because, “Maybe I deserve it.” Yeah. Yeah, that made sense. Josie hadn’t deserved all that shit, but Quinn sure as hell did because she _was_ messed up.

 

(“ _You’re a fucked in the head little girl, ain’t you?”_

_“A whore like you wants it all the time, don’t you?”_

_“You want it from any dirty monkey, so why’re you tryin’ so hard to fight me off, huh?”_ )

 

Buck leaned in close and bumped his forehead to hers while he whispered, “You’re here with me ‘n Steve, Quinn. No one, and I mean _no one_ , can hurt you here. You understand that?” when he leaned back, she made a little panicked sound— _don’t leave, don’t leave, don’t_ _leave_ —but he turned so she couldn’t see his face while he ordered, “come over here, Steve. Let’s warm her up a little, yeah?”

 

Oh. She did shake. But it wasn’t because of the cold, was it? “I don’t—” but Buck shushed her and sat down beside her on the little cot and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tucked her up close to him. Steve crowded in on her other side, pressed his face into her hair, and clutched one of her hands in his while he thumbed her knuckles.

 

A whimper tore its way out of her throat and then the tears started.

 

\---

 

“Y’all shouldn’t be in here with me.” Quinn croaked when there was no more water inside her that could turn into tears. And now that she was all cried out, all that was left was exhaustion, but she had her senses back, and knew that the Commandos were locked up inside the tower. “Need to pick off the krauts that’re outside,” she reminded them, but didn’t make a move to shove them away from where they were still wrapped up around her.

 

“Monty’s up there,” Steve replied and kissed her head. “He’s next best to Buck, so we’ll be fine for a little while. Don’t worry about that now.”

 

Quinn took a deep breath, let it out quiet, and then started with, “Josie’s colored.”

 

Goddamn it, she had no idea how the hell to explain what happened back then, but she needed to tell them about it. It’d been some dark stain on her person for, God, five years…and she didn’t— _couldn’t_ —ruin them with it. Even if it’d been an accident with Josie, she’d still been torn apart because of Quinn’s mistakes. Quinn knew what kind of person she was and today reminded her that she couldn’t run from that, no matter how much she tried or how many wars she signed up under. God help her, she knew it’d started, knew the familiar but different-from-Josie warmth that started up in her chest when she looked at those two, and it’d hurt her when she had to tear herself away from them, sure, but if she could keep them safe from what was inside her then so be it.

 

“’S that supposed to be important to us or somethin’?” Buck asked. “We don’t care that you’ve been with a colored dame, Quinn.”

 

Of course they wouldn’t, but, “That ain’t the point.” She knocked her head back on the wall behind them. “We…I talk about Hazard like it’s the best, but…there’re people that think what me ‘n her had was a sin and we had to be careful when we were in public. Like how y’all have to be careful now that you’re not in Brooklyn and the world’s got its eyes on yah,” she explained.

 

“That makes sense.” Steve’s voice answered, muffled, because he talked into her hair.

 

“We had this barn, me ‘n her. It’d been there since we were kids, never knew who owned in it—only that they weren’t there no more—and it had this lonesome, big ol’ tree not too far from it. We carved our initials in it, y’know. And that barn was where we’d sneak off to when we wanted to be alone because she had a baby sister and I had a baby brother and our parents didn’t care that we were both gals, but we weren’t about to be a couple of floozies.”

 

Bucky huffed and nosed at her cheek. “Can’t wait for them to meet me then,” he joked, but Quinn didn’t have it in her to laugh, not with how damn exhausted she was.

 

“Once I’m eighteen, Josie’s madder at me than not ‘cause she thinks we should break it off since she’s not my mark. Gosh, we had us a doozy of a fight that day, so I wanted to make it up to her—decided to throw a dance in that ol’ barn of ours with me, her, and all our friends. It’d been fun, we were drunk off our asses, and on the way back to our houses I kissed her lots and lots. I didn’t care to think that we were out and about and that someone could peek in on us and blab.”

 

And Steve was smart in that way that he could sense when there was trouble on the way because he leaned back and told her, “You don’t have to talk about this. We weren’t gonna ask you questions about what upset you so much…other than that…Nazi.”

 

No, no, no—she _had_ to tell them. She couldn’t chicken out now. “So, couple of days later, and Momma DuPont is runnin’ down to our house, outta her mind scared ‘cause Josie still ain’t home and it’s getting dark. I think maybe she had a bad day in town and she’s hiding out in the barn. I go to look for her, but I ain’t stupid, so I take Liam’s baseball bat with me, just in case.” Here’s where the story becomes harder to tell, even though she’d never told a soul about it once before in her entire life. “I almost didn’t make it. I saw the truck’s lights and I’d never seen them in person before, but I’d heard about the Klan—everyone had. The second they had her hanging off the ground, I run faster than I ever have in my whole life and I’m smart enough to knock the one with the rope in his hand upside the head first. None of ‘em had a gun, thank God, but there’re more of them than me, so I tell Josie to run and that I’ll be behind her, but I knew one of us wasn’t gonna make it out and I had to make sure it was me ‘n not her.”

 

“Christ.” Bucky hissed and leaned down to bury his face into her neck. “Fuckin’ hell, I have another self-sacrificing moron on my hands. The hell is the matter with you?” he mourned.

 

“What else was I supposed to do?” Quinn defended weakly. “I couldn’t…it was my fault. I took the beating and the…the…everything else,” she choked out, “because that’s what I deserved. I’m selfish. I take what and who I want and even if it could kill ‘em, I…” They squeezed her harder and she couldn’t have it—couldn’t have them. “I ain’t no good and neither of you should wanna be with me.”

 

“Quinn—” Steve stopped, paused, and then retried with, “It was hot that day, y’know—the day you’re talkin’ about. It was the middle of June in Brooklyn and I was busy with some art commissions. Bucky wanted to take me to some bar and I didn’t feel up to it, but I said yeah and went to dress and…” His brows furrowed. “You’re both on my back, so I didn’t see it, but Bucky came in the room and was the one that saw how your name wasn’t so dark anymore.”

 

From the other side of her, Buck added, “Steve was sick that January and I almost lost him. I’d spent the whole night by his side, scared shitless that his mark wouldn’t darken up ever again. And goddamn it if I didn’t have Steve in my arms that hot June night, runnin’ the electric bill up ‘cause the two of us had to keep on the lights to make sure your name didn’t fade all the way away. I couldn’t help but think what a horrible bastard I must’ve been to someone ‘cause I was about to lose my other soul mate and hadn’t even met ‘em yet.”

 

“You saved your Josie because you loved her. You went up to those bastards, knew that you wouldn’t win, but still faced ‘em down anyway. You could’ve run, saved yourself, but you didn’t because of love. So you tell me, Quinn,” Steve mumbled and kissed that scar that ran down her temple, where a Klansmen had kicked at her, “how’re me and Buck supposed to think less of you for that?”

 

“Three of us,” Buck waved between them, “we’re in this now. You’re part of us and we’re part of you. No matter what you try and come up with, there ain’t a goddamn thing you can say that’ll scare us away from you now. We’re with you ‘til the end of the line, Quinn Esther Hayden.”

 

…okay.

 

Okay.

 

“Okay.” Quinn nodded and, well, she’d been wrong. There were some tears left in her, after all. “Okay,” she repeated and leaned to the side so that she was up to Steve’s chest and then clutched at Bucky so he’d leaned more into her. “’Til the end of the line,” she agreed tearfully.

 

“’Til the end of the line,” Steve added and reached around so his arms were around both her and Buck.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Spoilers!!**  
>  So, on the way to their next base, the Howling Commandos are ambushed in the middle of a little town in their truck. There's a bell tower close to them that they decide to head to, but while trying to get Quinn there safe, Steve is shot at with a Hydra weapon. The shield takes it, but Quinn runs to check on him and a grenade separates Steve and Quinn from each other. Quinn is attacked by a Hydra soldier and, in a scuffle, they end up on the ground and he tries to choke her. It triggers her and causes her to have a panic attack. Steve saves her from being choked to death, but she's completely unresponsive and is starting to depersonalize, and Steve has to carry her inside the bell tower.  
> Once inside and safe, Steve and Bucky talk her down from her panic attack, she explains what happened in her past. On their way back from a party with their friends, Quinn and Josie were drunk and kissing. It's implied that someone saw them. Days later, Quinn searches for Josie that hadn't come home and finds the KKK trying to lynch her. She saves Josie, but is raped and nearly beaten to death herself. Steve and Bucky remember seeing her name fading on them and how they were panicked. They then explain that what happened to her wasn't her fault and that they are "with her 'til the end of the line."


	10. Destruction//Creation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Every act of creation is first an act of destruction."_   
>  **\--Pablo Picasso**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this?!?! Another chapter in a day?? A change in rating?? New tags?? Yes! It's finally what you've all wanted! Porn!!! Though, like, they're not actually having sex yet (YET) but I still felt horrible for slamming you guys with unexpected triggering shit and this chapter kinda came into its own. Like, it isn't that long a chapter compared to others, but...I just sat down today and couldn't stop writing.  
> Or, y'know, maybe I just wanted an excuse to work on my porn writing skills for when the big moment finally does come in this story. I don't know. I don't normally write porn, so I hope it's decent. It's probably not even worth the rating change, but there's gonna be more sex later on, so why not change it now?  
> Oh, it's also mentioned that Quinn's family has connections to the Dead Rabbits gang. If you've seen the movie, _The Gangs of New York_ , you'll probably recognize the name, but it was basically an Irish gang back a little bit before the Civil War in Five Points, Manhattan. I really love the movie myself, but it's really long and I know some people ain't exactly into that.  
> Anyway, I hope you like! And I'll love you forever if you leave me comments because I don't know if this is any good or not! I love y'all! <3
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I no own da Marvel.

Once Quinn, Steve, and Buck walked out of the little room the three of them had holed up in, no one decided to ask what’d made her so upset and she thanked God for that because she was in no mood to talk about it more and to people that were _not_ her soul mates. Besides, there seemed to be more important issues on their hands rather than her, uh, delicate mental state or whatever. The sole entrance to the bell tower had been blocked with some crates, but it didn’t look like it could keep out a whole platoon of Nazis, which could’ve explained the reason why Dum-Dum, Frenchie, and Gabe camped out near those boxes.

 

Since Monty was up top in the nest, that accounted for four Commandos, and with Steve and Buck on either side of her, that made six. So, “where the hell is Jimmy at?” she asked and rubbed the back of her sore neck, tried not to think about the fact that there’d be bruises from where that Nazi tried to choke her to death. The other boys made it their mission not to look at it, but she felt their eyes on her when she looked around the main floor of the tower for the last—but not least—Commando.

 

“Hey, if you’re done trying to get a taste of your cookies, you wanna come help me out over here, Hayden?” said missing Howler called out and Quinn turned around to see him surrounded by three men who she’d never seen before—‘course, she hadn’t been much involved when the Commandos stormed the bell tower. But since Morita seemed so inclined to help patch them up and have her come help, she went out on a limb and assumed that those men were the reason there hadn’t been no Nazis in the bell tower when the Howlers came inside.

 

“I’ll show _you_ a taste of cookies,” she mumbled under her breath, but smiled a little because Jimmy-boy knew how to treat her normal, like she hadn’t broke down in the middle of combat, and she was sure thankful for that.

 

“Aw, you’re just worked up ‘cause you couldn’t score a couple of cookies like me ‘n Steve if your life depended on it.” Buck shot back and shoved Steve over toward the crates to settle down with the rest of the boys and come up with a plan of attack, no doubt.

 

Jim rolled his eyes and made a point to curse loudly and in Japanese at Buck’s back which made her snort because she’d learned to pick up some other languages in the war and knew full well what he’d called Bucky. “Hey, you want to come over here and meet my former captain or what?” That made her raise a brow at him, but she collected her medical pack that someone’d tossed when they came in, and made her way to settle down next to him on a crate. “Quinn, meet Captain Happy Sam Sawyer,” he motioned toward the dark-skinned man seated between the three newcomers. “Sam, this is our nurse, Quinn Hayden.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” He was polite—more polite than she’d been treated by most men in the army these days—and even took off that little hat that she was sure people only wore in the wintertime. Gosh, it was near _July_. How could he stand to wear that in the heat?

 

“He was the captain of my platoon before Hydra nabbed me and I was recruited with the Commandos.” Jim explained. “He and these two fellas were the men supposed to escort us to where our next hit should’ve been. They were taken for a loop by those assholes out there, too.”

 

“We ended up in here a few hours before you.” The kid—because that was _definitely_ a kid and what was it with the army and its love of recruiting boys that weren’t much older than her little brother anyhow?—told her and then winced. “Um, sorry we weren’t able to warn you about the ambush, ma’am.” Unlike the rest of the men inside the tower, he wasn’t exactly…bright enough not to stare at the marks around her neck.

 

“Jonathon Juniper,” the last of the three announced in a sarcastic British drawl as he pointed toward said kid. “He’s not quite smart enough yet to realize what is and is not his fault.” He then cuffed Juniper over the back of the head and added, “And that it’s impolite to stare at a lady in such a manner.”

 

Sawyer shot her a crooked smile. “This surly son of a bitch is Percival Pinkerton.”

 

“Y’all sure do have some names on you.” Quinn mused and leaned in close to Pinkerton so she could have a better look at where he’d been sliced open—from a bullet that came a little too close, probably.

 

“Yes, afraid so,” Pinkerton huffed. “Tell me, ma’am, I may be…lacking in my knowledge of American—or Irish, in this case, I suppose—customs, but isn’t Quinn a man’s name?”

 

Quinn’s nose scrunched up, but she still smiled at him. “Got me there, Mister Pinkerton,” she retorted.

 

“Say, you never told us why you have such a manly name, Buck Rogers.” Dum-Dum spoke up from the other side of the room.

 

The blonde looked over her shoulder so he could see her roll her eyes at him. “That’s because you never asked me about it. Like it’s some secret that Quinn ain’t a normal ladies name,” she then turned back to her work, but then added, “And you _really_ wanna talk names here, _Dum-Dum_?”

 

“Ouch, nurse— _ouch_. That wasn’t very nice.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” she waved off his complaints. “My name’s Quinn because every baby born in my Pa’s line had been a boy up to that point and he’d done assumed I’d be one, too. Him and Ma had said they’d name me Quinn before I was even outta the womb and they had no idea what kind of special feminine name to pass on to me when I was born, so they stuck with Quinn.”

 

“What’s so special about the name Quinn?” Steve inquired.

 

“Oh, it’s the name of the fella that came across the pond from Ireland way back when the potato famine hit the motherland.” She dramatically declared since that was how her grandparents that hardly ever visited Kentucky had always explained it. “Quinn Hayden, with his pretty wife, took no more than the clothes on his back and braved the odds to make a new name for the Hayden clan. But Pa says that no one talks about how Quinn the Great joined up with the Dead Rabbits and was part of a damn gang war.”

 

“Dead Rabbits,” Steve and Buck squawked at the same time.

 

Quinn hummed and nodded. “Yes sirs,” she chirped. “Yeah, when he landed, it was in New York, and he ended up in Five Points.” She paused, blinked, and then looked over her shoulder with a shy smile. “Guess that I would’ve met y’all sooner had my Pa stayed up in New York with my grandpa and grandma, but he wanted to make his own way…”

 

Buck clutched at his chest and she might’ve almost believed he was upset when he lamented that, “you never told us you had New York in yah. I’m _hurt_ , Quinn. How could you do this to a couple of fellas?” Steve made a face, too, and started to drape himself over Buck like he was all sad, too.

 

“I’m as much a New Yorker as you are a Kentuckian,” she scoffed. “Shit, Pa ain’t even a New Yorker. He’s all Irish. It’s all, ‘ _A real trash heap up there, lass. Fresh air and open spaces and a lad can breathe down here in our fine state of Kentucky_.’” She tried to mimic her Pa’s Irish accent, but if Pinkerton’s snorts were anything to go by, she hadn’t done so well. That made her eyes narrow at him. “Got a problem there, buster?”

 

“Of course not, madam.”

 

“That mean you have connections to the mob?” Dum-Dum asked and he almost sounded nervous.

 

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” she looked over her shoulder and winked at him. “Guess you’ll have to find out, won’t you?”

 

\---

 

It’d been hard to put on a show and pretend that she hadn’t upped and stopped in the midst of combat to remember that time she’d been almost beaten to death and violated in every possible way a person could be. When the sun dropped behind the trees and it was decided they’d have to camp out in the bell tower since there was still no concrete plan to escape concocted yet, Quinn was happier than hell that the men let her have that little room all to herself. Sure, she wouldn’t use it, but at least she had an excuse to run off and not have to converse no more. With all that’d happened, she was damned exhausted and needed to let her brain rest.

 

Once all the other men settled down, Quinn snuck out of her room and climbed the stairs so she could keep Steve and Buck some company. Buck had first watch and then Steve and then she didn’t care who went after that because she’d be cozied up with them…so she hoped, anyway. It’d…been nice to have them in bed with her and not like _that_. They were warm and…God, how was she supposed to invite them? No. Wait. These were her soul mates and she was sure it’d be nice for them—was the bed even big enough to hold all three of them? Bad idea—it was a bad idea because she’d bothered them plenty and—

 

A moan echoed from up above her and then someone else shushed and Quinn was _not_ that dumb, she knew what those two were up to, all on their lonesome, but her feet moved on their own. Careful and quiet, she tiptoed so she could poke her head up and see onto the next floor, but didn’t have her whole body exposed so she’d be more noticeable to them.

 

Buck rolled his hips as soon as she saw him, moved down fluid and sinful against Steve who knocked his head against the wooden floor and moaned quieter than before. Those blue eyes of his were closed, but he moved a hand up and scratched the back of Buck’s neck which must’ve been a sign that Buck knew what he was doing. Buck nipped at the underside of Steve’s jaw, whispered too low for her to hear into Steve's ear, and then moved his hand down Steve's chest so slow that Quinn had no choice but to watch as it dipped down beneath Steve’s waistband.

 

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, she was going to hell. Quinn would spend her immortal life in hell because this was so…what kind of a pervert watched this kind of intimate moment between two people? And when Steve keened the second Buck had a hand wrapped around his dick, the noise went straight to the place between her legs, warmed her up more than any hot summer day could ever do. Yeah, hell, it was where she was definitely headed.

 

“Bucky,” Steve whimpered and tried to roll his hips more than Buck would let him, maybe to get some more friction. “Bucky, please, don’t tease. Don’t wanna stretch it out,” he breathed out and how had he not opened his eyes and spotted her yet? Lord, he was beautiful when he was lost in his pleasure like that. “Wanna come,” he pleaded. “Please, I want you in me. Get in me, Buck.”

 

“Goddamn, you’re so loud, baby.” Bucky complained, but didn’t even sound blue about it. How could he be? Steven Grant Rogers was a fucking sight to behold when he was worked up. What Quinn wouldn’t do to be the one who had a hand wrapped around him, have that beautiful boy at her mercy, beg _her_ to make him come…“Wanna wake everyone up, huh? Want everyone to know how much you love gettin’ off? Want _Quinn_ to come up here and see you beg for my cock?”

 

Holy shit. _Holy goddamn shit_. Quinn _had_ to leave. It wasn’t like she _wanted_ to because God knew she wanted to see how pretty Steve was when he came, maybe even see Buck and how nice he looked when he was inside Steve, but, well…if she was going to hell, she might as well like the ride on the way down. She _needed_ to satisfy that burn the sight of those two had put in her. Just to _hear_ her name come out of his lips, to know that they _thought_ about her that way—since Steve had been pretty keen on the idea what with how he shoved a hand in his mouth to hold in the real loud moan—she was sure she was about to explode.

 

It was the hardest trip she’d ever taken, heading back to that room dished out to her—that was for damn sure. Jeez, it wasn’t like she could run back down the steps. Her having to sneak had started this whole problem for her, anyhow. That made it so much worse on her, how much time it took her to make it back to the room. There she was, an ache between her legs that, if she was honest, she wanted someone else—two people, specifically—to satisfy, and she had to _sneak_.

 

As soon as she was in that room, on the bed, she didn’t even care to shove off her pants. It’d probably be better for her to get off with her pants on since she had no idea how dirty the sheets she was spread out on were. She rolled over onto her stomach, shoved her face into the pillow to drown out any sounds she was bound to make, and shoved her hand down into her panties. God, she needed to come, _wanted it so damn bad_...

 

Once she started to rub at her clit was when she finally let her mind start to roam to place it wanted to. What would’ve happened if she’d stayed on those steps and done this? What if she’d sat down and started to finger herself like some horny teenager to the sounds of those two? And, fuck, what would they do if they _heard_? Would they keep on, act like she wasn’t there? Or would they invite her to join? What would it feel like to have her hands on them? To feel their hot skin underneath her cool hands? To have them shake and fall apart underneath her touch?

 

For someone that always had to be careful when she used her hands most of the time, because the slightest move could mean life or death when someone was a nurse, it would be nice to see a little bit of destruction. Sometimes…sometimes destruction wasn’t all that bad—not in this case. There was room for creation when something else was gone. And when Steve or Buck or both of them—wasn’t that a pretty picture—fell apart, they would come back to themselves, but it would be surrounded with all the love in her heart that she had for them. Every kiss she’d paint them with, every whispered word, she’d make sure they knew how much she felt for those two dumb boys.

 

_“We’re with you ‘til the end of the line."_ That's what they'd declared and...and...

 

Damn it all to hell, she loved those two so much.

 

“Oh!” Quinn breathed out then moaned loudly into the pillow while she clenched her hands around the sheets and her entire body seized up as she came.

 

She loved them.

 

Quinn loved them.

 

\---

 

The entire world had transformed on her, but looked the exact same when she woke up with the sun. Or maybe it had been _her_ that was so different now. Yeah, that made a little more sense. Still, when the team decided to head out into the fray since Monty and Buck had picked more than their fair share of krauts off the day before—their three new friends with them, of course—and Steve and Buck crowded on either side of her to keep her safe…

 

Well, Quinn didn’t care so much about the change.

 

People always said change was good, didn’t they? 

 

 


	11. Move On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decades later, when some personal belongings of Captain Steven Rogers are donated to the Smithsonian, someone will find various notes scribbled behind pages with Rogers' personal doodles and drawings. They are all initialed Q.H.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's how it is: Steve is the artist, Bucky is the dancer, and Quinn is the writer. They've all got little things that help them make it through the day--other than each other, of course. ;)  
> So there are some dark themes in this chapter. There implied torture that isn't really detailed too much. Fury _did_ say that Steve and the Commandos did some nasty stuff in the war. There's a meta post on Tumblr about how Steve's killed people in the war which I believe, even if the public probably wasn't aware of it. Again, it's not went into detail about him killing, but it's implied.  
>  I'm really tired and about to go to bed and can't think of anything else to say other than this: romance does happen!!!  
> Also, if this chapter is too horrible, please let me know. Or let me know if you like it. Just...talk to me. I likey da talking that people do with me. Okay. I'll shut up now. Read on.
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I own nada from Marvel.

Before she had ever stepped a foot on European land, Quinn understood better than most that people could be cruel, understood that hate was the worst kind of poison and that it turned people into rabid animals and made them do terrible shit to others. Worse than that, some people didn’t even need to have hate in their hearts to do that awful shit. Make a man think that the death of certain people will do his people a service, he would tear another apart with his bare hands and be proud of that—and what a kick in the head it was that he could be awarded a medal, too, even now in this time. Still, even with all that in the back of her mind, it never made it easier to see how horrible other people could be at times.

 

And it wasn’t like she could sit with her thumbs up her ass and not look at the horrors left behind in the Hydra base. No, she _had_ to check and make sure those prisoners left behind were dead because if there was a chance that someone could be saved, she needed to know. Besides, it was either check the corpses or hole up in the room where Dum-Dum and his brass knuckles tried to pull some information out of German soldiers that couldn’t escape with the rest after Hydra dropped it all and ran like the cowards they were. But none of them would let her in that room to watch that, anyway. Quinn was a nurse, was meant to save people, not see them be beaten down to a bloody pulp and then use her hands to patch them up just for them to last a little bit more when their pain starts back up. It doesn’t matter whether Quinn could stand to see it or not. They were protective of her like that.

 

War is hell and that was all there was to it. No matter what happened, what side won, there would be losses the whole way around. The men that’d been lined up and shot down would never make it back home to their soul mates or families. That man in the back room with Dum-Dum wouldn’t, either. It seemed like the only people in the situation that won out were the dead men because there was no place for sadness up in heaven—or so she hoped, but no one on the earth knew for sure, did they?

Quinn sucked in a deep breath, but all she could smell was the Vaseline she’d shoved under her nose to wipe out the stink of death in the air. There was too, too much of it in this place, she decided, and turned around so she could head outside. Screams echoed from down the hall, men that refused to talk, and she wondered which side would break down first. Most times, Dum-Dum would never let up, but they were all of them damned exhausted. They hadn’t been back to London in…fuck, weeks, probably.

 

God, she needed a smoke.

 

Outside now, Quinn took hold of her hair, twisted it around, and pulled it down over her shoulder. No doubt about it that she missed her Pegs, but that woman sure was lucky to be in London where she could have her hair done nice. As she stared down at her straw blonde hair, her nose scrunched up in distaste, and she used the hair tie she always had around her wrist to put her hair up. It was better like that, anyway, since the heat of summer was in full bloom and when her hair stuck to the back of her neck, it was a real itchy pain in the ass.

 

A walk around the warehouse had her stumble across Steve who was situated on a turned-over crate, his shield propped against the brick wall behind him. He must’ve snatched Buck’s pack of smokes at some point or another, because he took a drawl of one when she stepped up in front of him. “Hey, kid,” she murmured and, jeez, he looked wrecked—and not in the nice way, either. Of course, this was some horrible shit. _They_ had to do some bad stuff. Jesus, there was even blood on the shield.

 

“Hey,” he breathed out and flicked the cigarette away. Then, he reached out, curled an arm around her waist, and tucked her between his parted legs. “Quinn,” he sighed and sounded exhausted, same as them all. She threaded her fingers through his hair the best that she could with it so short and all then pulled his head forward so it was pillowed between her tits. Hopefully, he’d be able to hear her heart beat there inside her chest, know that, at the very least, their little family had survived it all. They were alive.

 

“We’ll make it, sweetheart.” Quinn said and ducked her head down to press her nose into his hair. “We’ll head back to London soon. We’ll head out on that date we ain’t never had yet. And you better be ready for it ‘cause we’ll dance until our feet fall off. It’ll be nice as you please, my dear.”

 

Steve hummed and pressed in closer but moved his head to the side so his cheek was pressed to her shirt and he could look up at her. “Are you okay?” He asked while he reached a hand up to stroke the bruised skin of her throat where that Nazi had tried to choke her to death days back. Now, whether he wanted to know if she was okay after the whole almost-death deal or after the shitty run of luck they’d had since they left London.

 

“I…don’t know.” Quinn answered and that was the truth. “Y’know, men think that us nurses and doctors have it easier than y’all ‘cause we save lives and all, but it’s hard on us, too. Soldiers are expected to kill and everyone knows that—doesn’t matter whose side you’re on. But for us, when we have someone under our hands, those people look up at us and…hope. They hope that we’ll save them, that we’ll help them to live to fight another day so they can head home to whoever they have waitin’ for them, and…we have to see that fade away, bit by little bit, as they die.” She explained with a wry smile. “The worst, though, is when they still have all that hope in their eyes when they die and maybe that’s ‘cause they’ll head off to wherever they’re destined for, no clue until they’re there that I didn’t save them and that they’ll have to wait for their sweethearts or whatever have you.”

 

“So…do you regret it, then?” Steve wondered and, down at her sides, clasped his hands around hers. “Becoming a nurse?” he clarified. “You never have told me or Buck why you decided to join up.”

 

Her nose scrunched up. “That’s probably because it ain’t as noble as what you think it is,” she shot back. “I did it to…run away, I suppose. Josie hadn’t ever been the same after what happened to us. I wasn’t either, mind you, but—” she scratched the back of his head with her nails a little, enough to make him shiver. “I wanted her to smile. I wanted her happy. I said she should move up to Louisville, see the city ‘cause she’s always wanted that, but, God, she ripped me a new one at that and wouldn’t talk to me a week. I was mad, threw a fit when I was on my lonesome, then stole my Pa’s truck and went to enlist.”

 

“That sounds a whole lot like you and what you’d do.” Steve snorted while he leaned back a little to look at her better than he could up against her chest.

 

“Yeah, I have Ma’s stubbornness and Pa’s temper, so…that there is a recipe for trouble. But I don’t think I would’ve went back over and over like a certain someone I know if they didn’t take me.” Her lips pursed and she took a second to think some more before she said, “Still, I _have_ saved people…even if that’s a little bit hard to remember on days like today. That is nice—nicer than I’ve ever done felt before. And I met y’all and that’s…there’s no words for that. So, no, I don’t regret this. Any of it,”

 

“No words,” he repeated and smirked. “That bad, huh?”

 

She laughed. “Fuckin’ horrible—you got no idea.”

 

Steve stared at her a little bit more and slow, like he’d spook her if he didn’t otherwise, reached his hands up to press them on her cheeks. Quinn smiled and tilted her head to the side a little so she could lean into the touch. It was nice, his hands on her—made her feel safe and warm in a time that didn’t seem to have much of that. Still, he looked…too serious for such a nice moment.

 

When she reached up, tried to smooth out the furrow in his brows, she asked at the same time, “Hey, what’s with this? What’s the matter?”

 

“It’s—” he took a deep breath then moved one of his hands over so he could run his thumb over her bottom lip. And that…made her breath catch, made her freeze up for a second because…did he want to—“I…you can hit me if you don’t want this,” he blurted then backtracked it all and started to move his hands away from her face. “I’m sorry. This is stupid. _I’m_ stupid. This is the worst time to—”

 

God, between her and Steve, she had no idea who did the worst when they were nervous. “Steve,” she shook her head and he still tried to talk over her, so she smiled a little wider and spoke up louder. “ _Steve_ ,” the man quieted down, sure, but he tried to back up away from her as much as he could, so she rolled her eyes, took one of his hands back, and then leaned down to kiss his palm. “Steve, you’re thinking too much ‘bout this.”

 

“So, you want me to—” he fumbled and his cheeks reddened up. “I’m allowed to…?”

 

“I don’t know. Guess you’ll have to find out.” Quinn drawled and had the cockiest smile on her face, even if her heart beat so fast inside her chest she was sure it was about to up and quit on her. “Go ahead and do it. Take the leap.”

 

And by God, he did. Jesus Christ, he took the leap and closed the distance between them. A thrill shot across her entire body went his lips touched hers and she threw her arms around his neck because she didn’t want to ruin the moment with how her hands shook and sweated. The kiss didn’t last like she wanted, which could’ve been because the two of them had sucked in a breath in those few seconds after she’d challenged him and then let them out at the same time in the middle of their kiss. Jesus, it wasn’t a perfect kiss, but it sure as hell was perfect enough for her.

 

“We’re hopeless.” Quinn pressed her forehead to his and kissed his nose. He whined and leaned up, tried to catch her lips, and she beamed. Giddy and hopped up on a sugar sweet kiss, she squeezed her arms around his neck tighter, and laughed. “We’re horrible and we’re hopeless and what’s Buck gonna do with us?”

 

“He’d probably kick your asses because you didn’t invite him to the party.”

 

At least Steve tried to look remorseful about it, but Quinn looked over her shoulder and couldn’t keep the smile off her face while she stared at Buck. “You come over and try it, hotshot. _Or_ ,” she shrugged and waggled her eyebrows, “you wipe that mean look off your face and come over here for a cup ah sugar.”

 

“‘Cup ah sugar’, she says.” Buck hummed and stepped a little closer to them, flicked his smoke away from him, and looked past her to Steve. “Is she really that sweet, Steve?”

 

“Not as sweet as me,” Steve taunted.

 

“Well, that ain’t a kick under the belt at all,” Quinn huffed and pretty much threw herself at Bucky. “We kiss once or twice and he’s already an asshole. Help me out here, Buck.” She reached up and ran her thumb over the cleft of his chin then realized that maybe Steve was ready, but that didn’t mean Bucky was to have her…like _that_. “’S this okay?” she whispered.

 

“Yeah, Quinn,” he answered and rolled his eyes. “’Course this is okay,” he added and leaned down to press his cheek to hers. “And at least he kissed you before he started to be an asshole. I’ve had to deal with this shit since we was kids.”

 

She cocked her head to one side, then the other, to make it look like she was thinking real hard. “Fuck him then. How’s about me ‘n you run off and leave him behind?”

 

“Nah, he can still be useful in other ways,” he smirked.

 

“I hate you—both of you.” Steve spoke up.

 

“Listen to him runnin’ that goddamn mouth.” Buck whispered in her ear.

 

“Guess we should find a way to shut him up. I have some ideas, if you wanna test ‘em out.”

 

“What? You wanna show him the prettiest picture this side of Europe? Me and you?” he assumed and was spot on about it. Jeez, and they’d said Howard was the smartest one in the SSR. Or maybe Buck knew her too well, knew what she wanted with how she leaned closer and closer to his face, lips just above his. Bucky cupped her cheek and huffed in amusement. “Gonna slow down and let me enjoy this?” he whispered but didn’t let her answer because he leaned in to kiss her.

 

Now, don’t think her mean or that she didn’t appreciate how Steve kissed, but _fuck_ if James Barnes wasn’t the best damn kisser in the whole entire world. Fuck that best sniper shit—he had the kisses award, hands down. It stole the breath out of her chest, made her warm all over, but not in that innocent way that Steve’s had. And as sure as he must’ve been in his excellent skills, he kissed like it was the last he’d ever have, made sure that he and she would remember it until they died.

 

Quinn leaned back a second to breathe out, “Jesus,” before she nipped at his bottom lip and went back for more. This… _this_ she could get used to real quick…and _holy shit_. Steve needed to be over there with them _now_ because she was drunk—wanted so much more from the both of them.

 

“ _Really_?” someone shouted from somewhere else and both she and Buck pulled back from each other so they could look over to where Gabe and Jimmy stood. “Hell no,” Gabe shook his head and looked between the three of them, eyes narrowed. “If none of us poor bastards can’t get lucky then neither can you.”

 

Jimmy elbowed the other man in the side. “What he means to say is that it’s nice and all that you finally got your shit together, but this is a goddamn base and…okay, yeah, you’re not allowed to have the nice shit if we can’t.” He grinned. “We’re all gonna be miserable together.”

 

“Funny,” Quinn grumbled because she didn’t exactly enjoy the interruption. “I don’t remember marrying any of y’all.”

 

“You’re married to Uncle Sam. That extends to us, don’t it?”

 

“Fellas,” Steve had stood up and walked over to press in behind both her and Bucky. “You wanna tell us what you came out here for? I’m not much in the mood to deal with a pissed off Phillips when I show back up in London with your dead bodies ‘cause you went and put yourselves on Quinn’s bad side.” Jeez, how the hell was she supposed to stare a man down when he put his hand at the small of her back like he just did? Unfair, that’s what that was.

 

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he looked down at the papers in his hands where he must’ve scribbled down the orders from headquarters. “Bad news is that we can’t head back to London yet,” he went ahead and put out there first. There was a collective groan from everyone except Gabe—so apparently he hadn’t told anyone else about the orders yet. “And the worse news is that we’re headed to Caen. Allies tried to snatch her back when they stormed the beaches, but haven’t been able to take her from the Germans yet. Guess they think we’re some kind of miracle workers or something,” he snorted.

 

Steve ran his hands over his face. “Better head inside and tell the rest of the fellas,” he complained.

 

“Me ‘n Quinn can stay out here,” Buck piped up.

 

“We’re _all_ gonna be miserable together, asshole,” Steve shot back and shoved Bucky forward so that he had to walk.

 

Quinn decided to keep behind for a few minutes and reached down into her pack for the lone one cigarette she usually kept before she let the boys have the rest from her rations. After she stuck the cigarette in her mouth, she pulled out the little notebook that both she and Steve shared—her to write letters for home in and him to draw when the itch struck. She plopped down on that crate that he’d previously been on, took a moment to think, then pulled out her pencil and started to scribble some words.

 

_There’s death inside my body. Bad men came and beat me into pieces. I’ve been so obsessed with what I lost that I never stopped to see what started to grow in its place. I’ll put a tombstone. It’ll read J.D. and Q.H. I’ll remember what I lost. But I can’t try to stomp out the flowers anymore because that’s not fair. It’s time for me to let life grow. That’s a promise from me to you two. – Q.H._

 

 

While the Commandos made their plans, the blonde stood up and headed back inside. It was time for her to collect the dog tags of all those men inside. Quinn had the chance to move on and the families of those who lost their fellas deserved to do that, too. After all, it was her duty now to help ease pain and if a piece of metal that let a mother or soul mate know that their fella wasn’t lost or in any more pain did that, well…that was what she’d have to do. It seemed horrible, but sometimes a person has to hurt before they can get better. If Quinn had learned anything in her life, it was that.

 

\---

 

One Miss Margaret Carter did most of her work in the shadows, sure, but she went out into the field with them from time to time, too. It seemed like the Allies could use all the help they could take when it came to the capture of Caen and the SSR was at the beck and call of anyone that threw enough money at them. But it’d been weeks since troops set down in Normandy and tried to take Caen, too, and there was only so much manpower that the Allies could throw before they had to surrender. Who better to throw into the fray than Captain America and his Howling Commandos?

 

Point was that the next time Quinn saw her Peggy, it was in the middle of combat. Quinn had to hold at the back of the pack and wait it out until her nurse skills were needed, but the brunette found her. Only God knew how she pulled that, but it was Peggy Carter and that woman pulled so much incredible shit that Quinn gave up awhile back trying to understand how she did it.

 

Gun in her hand, Peggy looked over Quinn once, fired off a shot, and then honest-to-God laughed. “This is so much worse than I ever believed it’d be. Oh bloody Nora, this is _awful_. You _slept_ with them. You’re _glowing_. We are in the midst of war and you are _glowing_.”

 

“I _didn’t_ fuck ‘em.” Quinn shot back and grinned. “We kissed was all.”

 

“We _will_ talk about this when we’re back in London.”

 

“Yeah, okay. Make sure you bring some nail polish, too, ‘cause I have a date with ‘em when we’re back in London. Hey, you don’t mind helping me do my hair, do yah?”

 

“Of course I will.”

 

A German fired off a round a little too close to them and Quinn squeaked when Peggy shoved her into the alleyway between two bombed-out buildings. “War now,” Pegs hissed. “Beauty tips later.”

 

“Got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick little update! I made [a poll](http://www.poll-maker.com/poll302551x175E6Bd8-11) that you guys can take to help me decide which direction to take the story. I still have a lot planned that needs to happen, so no the story isn't coming to an end, but I just want to be prepared. I'm conflicted and have two ways the story could go, so what better way to decide than have you do it for me! I'd really appreciate it if you could pop by and take it! Thank you guys so much! I love you!!!


	12. Shut Up and Dance With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's date night and that's all that really needs to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, almost two months and I finally have a chapter up. Oops? My personal life has been a little chaotic lately which is all I have to say in defense of why this chapter's taken so long. Also, I'd like to say that if someone doesn't like this work, you really don't have to read it. You're more than allowed to leave helpful critique, but trying to tear me down while nitpicking every detail on a fictional work of writing isn't doing anyone any favors other than making you look like a huge asshole. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Anyway, for the people that have been so kind and sweet in their comments and on Tumblr, I appreciate you so much. You're wonderful people and help spur me on when I'm in the midst of writers block. I love you all a whole, whole lot. :'D
> 
> **Disclaimer:** You pretty much know the spiel by now. I don't own anyone from Marvel.

Quinn hadn’t put so much time into what she’d wear on a date since…well, since Josie. Christ, that’d been _years_ back, so she had no idea what she’d do. It wasn’t like Steve or Buck would much care because the three of them had skipped past the date step and went ahead to kisses, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to impress them. Yeah, that had to be a little conceited, but there wasn’t much harm in that.

 

“Blue,” she mumbled out loud and touched said blue dress spread out across her bed, “or polka dots,” she hummed while she moved to touch the black dress with polka dots beside the blue one. Ma had once told her that the blue complimented her real well—but mommas told their little ladies whatever they wanted to hear when it came to shit like that—and the bow on the side _did_ make it stand out. _Still_ , she was a sucker when it came to polka dots. Plus, with her hair pinned up nice, lips painted red, eyes lined with black to make them pop more…yeah, she could turn out to be a real bombshell. “That’s that then,” she decided with a wide smile as she leaned down to smooth it out a little.

 

Just as she put her dresses back until she needed her choice out for the date, someone tapped away at her window which made her take a couple of steps back where she could blink. “…the hell?” she muttered under her breath and walked over to look outside. “ _Howard_?” she asked like he could hear her from the other side when she said it that quiet.

 

“Hurry up, Hayden,” Howard hissed.

 

As much as she wanted to make him sit out there and wait when he snapped at her like that, it wouldn’t help her out if one of the other nurses peeked out and saw him. When she opened up the window, she asked, “How the hell does everyone know where my room’s at, huh?”

 

“That’s my secret.” Stark shot back while he slid past her and into her room. “I won’t take up too much of your time.” He added as he locked the window behind him but tried to peek out and down onto the street, she supposed. “I need a place to—”

 

“—hide while a G.I. searches for the fella that messed around with his lady?” she finished for him and rolled her eyes. “May not be as smart as you, Stark, but I ain’t dumb.” Then, she eyed him. “How come you didn’t decide to hide out at Peg’s place? You like her more than me, don’t yah?”

 

When he felt safe that someone didn’t climb up the ladder behind him to kick his rear end, Howard turned around, walked past her, and dropped down on her bed. “I met a nice woman who happens to live closer to our base of operations…” He stretched out and she scowled, stormed over, and pushed his feet off her blankets. “We had tea, her husband came home, and there was some… _confusion_.”

 

“‘Confusion,” she repeated with a huff. “You try ‘n pull this shit on Pegs? No, ‘course you don’t, because she don’t fall for it and I don’t, either.” With a scowl, she waved him off. “When do you reckon this…confused fella will be off your tail?”

 

“You’re on leave, aren’t you? Why the rush? I’m a _joy_ to be around, you know.”

 

“Believe it or not, but the whole world don’t revolve around you and your prick. Even if I didn’t have plans, which I _do_ , I still wouldn’t want you layin’ around in here while I tried to relax and relish this leave because, buddy, I ain’t had one in a while.” Honest, Quinn had no idea how Pegs could put up with him. The man was so damn sure that the world revolved around him. It astounded her, how conceited the man could be.

 

Howard snorted, but didn’t seem too put out by her crack at him because he smirked. “I know the world’s not obsessed with me. Most of the female population is, most likely, but not the whole world.” He shot her a pointed look. “And not you, of course. You’re _obsessed_ with Barnes and Rogers.”

 

“I’m not _obsessed_ , asshole.” She huffed while she crossed her arms across her chest. “Goddamn, you’re such a shit. How’re you able to land all these—”

 

Someone knocked on the door before she’d been able to start to really start in on him. “Miss Hayden,” old Nurse Delores called from the other side of her front door and she froze. “There’s someone here to see you, dear. Are you decent?”

 

“Is it _everyone bother Quinn_ day or what?” She moaned and slapped her hands over her face. “Get the hell out of here, damn it. I don’t need you make my life hell on account ah Nurse Delores.” She hissed when her hands dropped away from her face and she saw Howard still stretched out across her mattress. “Jesus, hurry the hell up. I ain’t got all day.”

 

Once Howard couldn’t at least be seen by way of the door, Quinn left him to his own devices. The man was considered one of the smartest in the world. He could find a window on his own. The blonde walked over and opened up the door to look at Nurse Delores and, behind her, stood Steve. That was a real surprise because she’d been sure he would’ve been tied up at headquarters the whole day. They hadn’t been back in London in weeks, so he had a whole damn lot to catch them up on.

 

“Afternoon, Missus Delores,” she peered up at Steve with a smile, “Captain,” she added quieter. “What can I do for y’all?”

 

“Just here to escort Captain Rogers to your room,” Nurse Delores answered curtly. “He needed to pass on some information from Colonel Phillips.” She spun around to pat Steve on the arm and smile at him. “I’ll leave you to your duties, sir.” Before she walked away, the older nurse looked over her shoulder and shot Quinn a sharp look and warned her to, “Act like a proper lady now, Nurse Hayden.”

 

The second Nurse Delores was out of earshot, Quinn turned back to look up at Steve. “Steven Grant,” she said like she was shocked and appalled by his behavior. “Did you use your rank to steal away some time with me? That’s an abuse ah power, it is.”

 

“Well, I _do_ have news. It’s a little more personal than I let her think, is all.” Steve pointed at the room behind her and she pretended not to see that sly look behind those beautiful blue eyes of his. “You mind that I come in?”

 

Quinn cocked her head to the side and hummed. “Well, I suppose so, but you should know that you’re really putting me out here.”

 

“I promise to make it worth your time.” Steve whispered while he walked past her into the room.

 

“Oh, ‘s that so?” she drawled as she shut the door behind him. “And how you plan to do that, huh?”

 

Steve had to be the littlest shit there was out there because he didn’t answer her question, but he did keep that grin stretched across his face like he knew the world’s best secret. “I wanted to stop by and let you know about our date,” he paused. “If you’re still interested in that…”

 

“Oh no, ‘course not. It wasn’t like we smooched outside some Nazi base. I ain’t interested in that at all.” Quinn shoved at him a little then stopped and took a second to rethink over her words. “We’re hopeless, y’know that?” She ducked her head on account of how her face started to heat up. “Anyone asks, we don’t tell them where our first kiss was, okay?”

 

He laughed nervously. “Guess we could’ve waited, yeah?”

 

“Maybe,” she lifted her eyes back up and smiled warmly. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t like it any less. It was nice. You’re nice…and Bucky, too. You’re both real, real nice.” Her nose scrunched up and she decided to stop. Whenever she was nervous, she would rant and rant and make a fool of herself.

 

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Steve teased.

 

“How’s about you tell me where our date will be so I don’t have to make an ass out of myself no more.”

 

“I _could_ , but that’s not as much fun.”

 

“ _Steve_ ,” she whined.

 

“Yeah, okay,” he relented and walked over to stand next to her bed, but didn’t sit down which was a shock because what? He was about to be polite on her now? So, she waved a hand to motion that he could take a seat. “It kinda took us awhile to decide where it’d be. We didn’t wanna take you out to a pub ‘cause that’s not a swell place to have your first date.”

 

Quinn cocked her head to the side. “You about to sit there and tell me that you or Buck ain’t taken no ladies out to some speakeasy for a date?”

 

“ _I_ didn’t have dames line up to date me.” He pointed out. “Besides, this is different.”

 

“Don’t have to be,” she retorted. “What’d y’all do as dates with each other?” Back when she and Josie had been an item, it wasn’t like they could shout and scream to the heavens that they were going steady, but they went out. “It can look like a day out with your best pal, but didn’t you two spend a special day with each other?” That’s what it’d been like for her and Josie, anyway.

 

Steve sat down on her mattress and looked down at his feet, must’ve needed some time to think about it. When he had whatever he did, he looked back up and smiled. “Yeah, we did that.” He rubbed the back of his neck and went red, but she didn’t tease him about it. It was plain adorable on him. “Our first date…he took me to Coney Island, actually. Jerk made me ride the Cyclone and I threw up everywhere. Got his shoes, though, to pay him back for that. Even then, it was nice. I loved it.”

 

“That _does_ sound nice.” Quinn mused. “I never been on a rollercoaster before. Never been to one of those amusement parks, actually.”

 

“Jesus, Quinn,” he moaned. “That’s _awful_. You’ve missed out on so much nice shit.”

 

“It ain’t _my_ fault that there’s not a Coney Island in my backyard. The closest thing we have is Beech Bend Park and that’s in Bowling Green…which is almost four hours away from home, mind you. And that don’t have rollercoasters, either. I don’t think there’s a one in Kentucky.”

 

“This is sad—a damn tragedy. We have so much to show you in Brooklyn.”

 

“Well, it’s nice then that we’ll have the rest of our lives for me to see it all, ain’t it?” Wait. Shit. Did she say that to him? Goddamn her. That was too much. Kisses and dates were different from…a lifetime. “Uh,” she winced. “’M sorry. I didn’t mean—”

 

Steve reached out and took a hold of her hand. “No. Don’t say sorry.” He whispered and pulled on her hand, made her close the distance between them. “If you’re okay to let us have that, have a lifetime, then we’ll take it. You know that, don’t you?”

 

That made her pull a sour face because, “You’re not allowed to speak for the both of yah.”

 

“Buck’s sweet on you as much as he is on me, as much as I am on him, as much as I am on you.”

 

“Oh.” Jeez, when she heard it out loud, it…put her stomach all in knots. “Oh. That’s…nice. Great,” she shook her head. Fuck, she couldn’t be smooth if her life depended on it. “You know what I mean. I’m just—can I kiss you? I wanna kiss you. There aren’t words involved in kisses.”

 

Steve smirked and, God, she knew some smartass comment was about to leave his mouth. Who was worse when it came to teasing her when she was all flustered, between him and Bucky, she didn’t know, but she would shut him up. So, when he opened his mouth, she leaned down and pressed her lips to his. It must’ve said a whole lot about her skills that he wasn’t struck speechless and leaned back, that smug little smile still on his lips, which made her pout and whine, “Way to ruin the moment, Rogers.”

 

“It’s funny,” he murmured and put a hand on her lip, leaned back in close so that his mouth hovered a little bit over hers. “Bucky uses that same move when he wants to shut me up.”

 

“Maybe because you’re an asshole that won’t shut up otherwise.”

 

“That’s not nice, Quinn.”

 

“Shut up and kiss me.”

 

That made him huff in amusement, but he did what she asked him to and leaned in to kiss her. He moved the hand on her hip up, up, up to cup her cheek and she shivered then pressed in closer. She did the same, but then moved a hand around to run her fingers through his hair. It was hard not to run a little bit crazy when you kissed a person you knew you loved and she wanted more, so she put her knee on the bed beside his thigh, went to straddle him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders—

 

“ _Captain_ ,” someone admonished and Quinn squeaked while she jerked back from Steve who’d started to run red. She whirled her head around to look at Howard who was seated on her windowsill, but had the cockiest smile if she’d ever seen one. “And Phillips thought _I’d_ be a menace to the women around here.”

 

“What the _hell_ , Stark?” Quinn shouted then lowered her voice because there were some nosy nurses that lived around her. “I told you to _leave_.”

 

“I would’ve, but my problem is still down on the street.”

 

“So you decided to _peek_ on us? Goddamn pervert—you—” she scrambled for the best insult, but all she came up with was, “you _asshole_. _Why_ are you even _here_?”

 

"That poor confused man is still on the street. I'd like to make it through the war in one piece." Howard answered like he wasn't about to be strangled to death by her own hands.

 

Speaking of poor men, Steve groaned and covered his face with his hands.

 

\---

 

Quinn sucked in a deep breath and stared at the mirror, at her straw blonde hair curled a whole lot like Veronica Lake’s in that picture _Sullivan’s Travels_ , her lips painted red, her steel blue eyes lined with black, and knew that she looked like a knockout for sure, but that didn’t help untie the knots in her stomach. And it wasn't too damn hard to realize how come she was so nervous, even if she had no reason to be. Jeez, she'd went over this spiel in her head beforehand. Neither of them would care how she looked or how she acted because the three of them had already kissed and shared a bed and she knew they talked about her while they fucked and she’d even gotten off to them—well, the _thought_ of them, anyway…

 

The blonde sucked in a deep breath, nodded at her reflection in the mirror, and then looked over at her little alarm clock. Fuck. It was ten minutes past the time Steve told her that he and Bucky would come to pick her up. The club where their date would be wasn’t too far that they couldn’t walk. She was late and she couldn’t hole up in her room no more and panic. It was time to head down there and face those two head on. Here she made it seem like this was some damn mission and _not_ a date…with her soul mates…that she loved but didn’t know whether or not they loved her back like that…

 

“They like you, Quinn. They like you and you like them.” She reminded herself because at least that much was true. Steve said as much. “You know it. You deserve this—them.” No, see, that wasn't true. She'd never deserve to have such them, but her past didn't mean she wasn't—damn it. That was too much to think about and it sure as hell wasn’t the best time to think about that, either. “Move your ass and have some nice times.”

 

Now, see, that little burst of fearlessness that helped her move out of her room, down the staircase, and outside the hotel that’d housed the SSR went out the window as soon as she spotted Steve and Bucky in their crisp, clean dress uniforms. The two of them sure did make a hell of a picture, that was for sure, and she wasn’t sure how it was possible, but it made her mouth run dry yet water at the same time to see them.

 

Steve had been the first to spot her, which probably had to do with the fact that Bucky was turned away from the front door, wrapped up in his conversation with the other man. It stopped short on Steve’s end because he looked at her and his mouth fell open the tiniest bit which meant that she’d done a nice job with her appearance. Still, that look…it made her want to toe at the ground and focus on that instead of the way he stared at her with a little bit of awe in his eyes, but she couldn’t do that because she’d scuff up her kitten heels.

 

Damn it. It hadn’t been like this with Josie, had it? No. Jesus, she had to stop that. She couldn’t compare that and this because Josie and Steve and Buck were completely different people and made her feel completely different. No. Wait. She did _love_ the three of them, but it wasn’t the same kind of love? Christ, she had no idea. All she knew was that she was lost in her own head… _again_.

 

“Ready to head out, sweetheart?” Buck asked from in front of her and she didn’t even realize her eyes had dropped to stare at the sidewalk until she lifted them back up and saw him in front of her, head cocked to the side, smirk on his face. That swagger was all Bucky and it helped ease her down a little because, in the end, they were the same. It was a date, sure, but they were still the same people who acted the same. Yeah, that was it.

 

Quinn cleared her throat and smiled a little at him. “Guess I am,” and her voice didn’t even crack a bit. He offered her an arm and she looped her own through it when she stepped down off the front steps of the hotel. “I hear you’re a shit teacher, Barnes. Can’t teach a fella how to dance,” she teased and nodded toward Steve that was still stuck in the same spot as before.

 

"My teaching skills are spot on.” Buck shot back then shot Steve a mischievous grin. “There are just some people that are lost causes.”

 

_That_ pulled Steve out of his little spell, along with the fact that she held out her other free arm to him. It seemed safe enough to do—it didn’t have to be romantic, per say, if someone on the street saw them. “Being drunk doesn’t exactly hone your teaching skills, jerk.”

 

"Bet you I can teach him how to dance proper by the end of the night,” Quinn spoke up and grinned when Steve looped his arm through hers, the three of them connected with her in the middle.

 

“Oh yeah?” he drawled. “And what’re the stakes of this bet? There’s nothing more motivating than that.”

 

“Not sure,” she hummed. “You come up with ‘em.”

 

“Shouldn’t _I_ have some kinda say in this?” Steve piped up from her other side.

 

Buck waved him off. “I win, you kiss me. You—”

 

“You lose, I kiss Steve and you have to watch.” She cut him off and shot him a smug smirk.

 

“That’ll be the prettiest picture this side of Europe.” Buck crooned. “I have half a mind to let you win this little bet of ours just to see that.”

 

"We _are_ on a date. I can’t make the stakes _too_ high.”

 

\---

 

Bodies twirled around on the floor, in unison with the band that played at the front of the dance hall. Loud music bounced around them and it was humid from all the bodies inside, but it was hard not to grin, not to get caught up in the excitement and energy of the room. Steve had went to snatch some drinks from the bar as soon as they walked inside and she didn’t even have a chance to drink because Bucky tugged her to the dance floor and they were off. Two more bodies amidst the crowd, twirling and twisting, but also stuck in their own little secret world that no one else around them had a part of.

 

After she'd danced a couple of songs with Buck, she happened to look over where they'd grabbed a table as their own, and saw that Steve had a few ladies around him. It made her laugh because, with how it seemed where she stood, it looked like he was trying to let them down, but in a polite, gentlemanly way. When she pointed toward him and Bucky followed, she said over the music, “We have to save Steve.”

 

"Guess so," he replied with a grin. “Don’t want the klutz to crush some poor dame’s foot. We have to save that honor for you.”

 

Quinn cracked up at that, but didn’t respond to it. Instead, she took his hand and dragged him over to their table. The other ladies around Steve seemed to not mind them much and Quinn took a quick break to rehydrate with a drink before she muscled her way through the crowd of admirers. “Excuse me, ladies.” She sang and grabbed a hold of Steve’s hands, pulling him to his feet, toward the dance floor. “C’mon, soldier, that’s our song they got on.”

 

Steve stopped before they hit the dance floor and he looked over his shoulder real quick at the disappointed ladies that’d wanted to dance with him. “I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m used to being ignored the whole time while Bucky gets all the offers.”

 

"Guess that’s what happens when you volunteer for some secret experiment,” she shrugged. “If it’s worth much, Bucky showed me that picture he keeps tucked away of yah, the one before you got the serum, and I have to say that I’d still ask for a dance.”

 

“Think that makes you one in a million,” he laughed. “You _and_ Buck…”

 

" _You're_ one in a million." The music suddenly slowed down, went to a nice, romantic tune, and she blinked in surprise then smiled. “Well, look at that. They’re playing something nice and slow for us.”

 

"Promise to try ‘n not step on your toes,” he said all bashful when she started to tug him toward the floor and get him into dancing position.

 

Quinn moved his hands into position, put hers where they were supposed to be on him, then told him, “It ain’t too hard, I swear. Make sure not to focus so much on where your feet are. Keep your eyes on me and let the music move you.”

 

“Keep my eyes on you, huh?” He stuttered, but she squeezed his shoulder in encouragement, and he started to dance. “I don’t think that’ll be too hard to do.” Her cheeks went hot and she couldn’t help it when her eyes darted to the side, at somewhere behind him. “You look real beautiful.”

 

“Thanks,” she mumbled and moved her eyes back to his. “You don’t look so bad yourself. ‘Course, all those ladies practically getting down on their knees to ask for your hand should’ve told you that.” She took a deep breath, let it out slow, then smiled. “This is nicer than I ever expected it to be.”

 

"I know."

 

“Whenever we’re done here,” she started because a real nice idea came to mind. “We should head back to your place. Didn’t you say one time that they decked yah out nice? With a radio? You and Buck could dance and no one would have to look at us funny or nothing,” she suggested.

 

"Perks of being Captain America,” he said dryly, but still had a smile on his face. “That sounds like a great idea. Let’s do it.”

 

\---

 

Some people would have some bad words about Quinn, and maybe Ma would be a little disappointed in her, too, but she expected that this would happen—that she would be out with Steve and Buck and not head back to her room. Well, she’d hoped, anyway, and she wasn’t so sure what that said about her. Anyhow, she’d planned and told Nurse Delores not to wait up on her because, like a nice little nurse, she’d planned to spend the night with her Pegs. Hadn’t seen her in forever, wanted to catch up with her best gal pal, she’d said, and Nurse Delores—who’d met and was a little sweet on nice, polite Pegs—fell for that hook, line, and sinker.

 

It was nice, too, because she wasn’t sure she could walk all the way back to where her bunk was with how her feet hurt so much. No one ever talked about the aches and pains that came with so much dancing, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t worth it, of course. While Steve and Buck headed into their building—not far from the SSR, but a separate place for higher ranking officers—through the front, she headed toward the side where the fire escape was. With a little moan of pain, she put a hand on the brick to hold herself up while she slipped off both her heels. She was a little bit of a baby when she was allowed to be, sue her.

 

Around the time she made it up to Steve’s room, him and Buck were there and must’ve stripped down because Bucky was outside, on the fire escape, down to his undershirt with a lit smoke between his lips. “What’s this I hear about a dance?”

 

“We tire you out already, old man?” Steve asked while he leaned out the window to steal the pack of smokes Buck had tucked in his back pocket.

 

“Little punk,” Bucky sneered back at him, tried to knock him back before he could snatch the smokes, while Quinn explained at the same time that, “Y’all didn’t have a chance to dance and I didn’t have a chance to have a nice, slow time with you. Why not take the party here where we can be all nice ‘n cozy?”

 

"‘ _Nice ‘n cozy_ ’,” Steve repeated, leaned on the windowsill so he could watch her and Bucky outside. “I need to be afraid for my honor here?”

 

She snorted and waved him out of the way so she could make her way inside the room. “Did Steve ' _the Perfect Gentleman_ ' Rogers make a dirty joke? And in front of a lady, no less?” she shook her head. “’M real offended here and someone needs to make it up to me, I think.”

 

Buck must’ve crawled inside the room after her because he suddenly swooped in and took her around the waist. “Leave it to me to save Steve’s ass _again_ ,” he grinned and spun her around to face him, leaned his face real close to hers so that she could feel his breath on her lips. “Say, you rationed, sugar?”

 

“Sure am,” she answered breathlessly and with a grin. “Saving all my sugar for my best two guys.”

 

“Say,” Steve spoke up and crossed the room to snatch her away from Bucky, “didn’t you two have a bet about my dancing skills?” She laughed and he beamed over her head at her other fella that went a little huffy when she was stolen out of his arms. “Have to be honest here, Buck, I think she taught me better than you ever did.”

 

Quinn wriggled her way out of Steve’s arms, twirled over back to Bucky. “Gonna be a little easy on him since he didn’t have a chance to get a slow dance with me.” She slid a hand up his chest, clasped his shoulder, and threaded her fingers through his other hand down by his side. “I know I’m a real treat to dance with. Feel sorry for any person that don’t have the chance to do that, y’know.”

 

“He _did_ dance with you, Quinn.” Steve pointed out.

 

“Shut up and turn the radio up, nimrod.” Bucky drawled.

 

Steve mumbled some words under his breath that she didn’t mind much because she turned back to Buck and leaned up on her toes so that her lips hovered over his, same as he’d done to her. He moved a hand up, cupped her cheek, ran a thumb across her bottom lip, and she smiled at that—at him. “Gonna kiss me or stand there looking at me?” she whispered.

 

“You’re so damn impatient.”

 

Quinn hummed and, yeah, that was true—she _was_ impatient. Who wouldn’t be around them? So, she didn’t bother to answer him about that. What she did was slide her hand on his shoulder up and around his shoulders so she could pull him down and kiss him. Bucky smirked against her lips, but slid his hands down to take a hold of her hips so he could press her closer. At the same time, his tongue traced along her bottom lip, and she let out a little moan when his tongue moved past, inside to meet her own.

 

Behind her, there was an uncertain touch, but she leaned back into the warm body behind her in a way to let him know she liked it—loved it a whole lot, actually. Quinn moved away from Bucky, a little sad about it when he nibbled at her bottom lip, but she cocked her head to look over her shoulder at Steve. There was a fond smile set on his lips and she loved that, too, but really preferred to kiss him instead which is what she did. And Bucky nipped at a spot behind her ear then moved down to do the same on her neck.

 

“Wow.” Quinn breathed out and shivered because Bucky didn’t stop.

 

Fuck, she was in trouble.

 

And she didn't give a good goddamn about that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I decide to end this chapter where I did because I really wanted to have it posted by today? Absolutely. Am I going to promise you that there's going to be smut in the next chapter and that that's going to make it worth your while? You best your ass I am.  
> And, hey, there's this [little poll](http://www.poll-maker.com/poll302551x175E6Bd8-11) that asks what you want the future of the series to be. We're getting closer and closer to the end of the story and there's two ways this story can go. But, honestly, I'm torn between the two, so I'm letting you guys pick for me. But, because I'm evil, no one knows the results but me. :P


	13. New Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn, Steve, and Bucky take some time to explore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's two in the morning and the only thing keeping me running is peanut butter m&m's and oreos. This is the longest chapter to date and it's literally over 6,000 words of pure smut. This entire chapter is smutty, smut, smut. You guys deserve another porny chapter after the two month wait. Plus, once I started on this, I got going. It's probably horrible because I haven't written much smut, but it's the least I can do for you wonderful, precious rays of sunshine.  
> So...yeah. Porn.  
> I love you all. <3
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own a thing of Marvel's.

“Bed,” Quinn stammered when Steve took her bottom lip between his teeth—a move he must’ve learned from Buck or it could’ve been the other way around, she supposed, but it was a nice, nice move, no doubt about that—while, behind her, Bucky slid his hands down to grip her hips tight and tried his damned hardest to suck a mark onto her neck. “Bed _now_ ,” she ordered while she shoved at Steve’s shoulders to make him move back toward the mattress. Steve did as she said without another word, went to drop down on the mattress, but the man behind her decided he didn’t want to much move. “Barnes,” she moaned and whined at the same time then turned around to face him.

 

“Yeah, _Hayden_?” he shot back with a devious little smirk and she cupped his cheeks with her hands, moved in to kiss him senseless. “Why’re you in such a rush, huh?” It was like he didn’t even realize how hot him and Steve made her. “We have all the time in the world, doll.”

 

All the time in the world, he said, while at the same time he moved those talented hands up her sides and copped a feel. Fuck, that lit her up, set a fire in her belly, and she practically snarled into his mouth while she took fistfuls of his undershirt and pulled him back toward the bed. At the last second, she hauled him around and shoved so he landed across the sheets, sprawled whereas Steve was sat up. Quinn looked between them, examined their lips that were stained red on account of her lipstick, and it made her a little wild, stirred some primal urge to mark them up even more. She wanted the whole damn world to know they were _hers_. She could eat them _raw_.

 

“Goddamn beautiful,” she hissed and went to Steve, kissed him while she straddled him at the same time—what she’d wanted to do earlier that day before Howard interrupted them. “Gorgeous,” she mumbled and leaned away to kiss Steve’s pulse point. “Both of yah,” she added when Buck crowded in and she leaned away from Steve’s neck so she could kiss those, quite frankly, delicious looking lips. “My handsome fellas,”

 

Underneath her, Steve made a desperate little noise in the back of his throat before he reached around to grab handfuls of her ass and forced her hips down then jerked his up so he could rut against her. “Sorry,” he apologized quickly, breathlessly, and moved his hands up back to her hips. She looked at him like he was crazy because he _was_. Why the _hell_ did he say sorry? “I…” his cheeks reddened. “I— _we_ ,” he looked over at Buck with a sharp look because he looked at Steve like he’d went bat-shit crazy, too. “We shouldn’t pressure you like this.”

 

“Do I _look_ pressured to you?” Quinn asked incredulously.

 

“It’s—” Steve stopped, must’ve decided actions were louder than words, because he reached up and traced a hand across her neck. Quinn looked at him, confused, and then…oh. _Oh_. And Bucky went still beside them, stared at her a little wide-eyed, when he realized what Steve meant. She must’ve started to sweat off the makeup she used to cover those bruises that Nazi left when he tried to choke her to death. It had to be more than that, too—than what that soldier did. He must’ve meant her…past.

 

Quinn blinked, looked down at that, and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. This was her sweet, sweet fella. “Thank you.” She whispered and leaned in to press her lips against his gently, threaded her fingers in his hair at the same time. “But you don’t have to worry about me—about that.” This was love at its most pure, not the hatred that’d torn her up all those years back. “This is what I want. Y’all’re what I want.” She drawled, voice thick like molasses, and kissed her way up his neck so she could nibble on his ear lobe. “Every inch of you both.”

 

But, now that she took a second to think, she realized that, “This is the first time I’ve…been with a fella—fellas.” Quinn scrunched up her nose. “And I don’t suppose y’all have any rubbers on you?” Gosh, she did love them, but…maybe she wasn’t…ready for _that_? She didn’t even know. ‘Course Quinn was attracted to fellas same as ladies, but she’d never been with one in the sack and she’d heard that it hurt because fingers were nice and all, but they were all that…big.

 

“Jesus,” Bucky breathed out and leaned forward to catch her lips in another kiss. “No. We’ve never much needed them before now.” His lips curled up and he moved in to whisper in her ear that, “Steve loves it when I come in him. Goddamn slut for it is what he is,” and _holy shit_. Shit. Oh, _no_. These two would be the death of her.

 

“ _Bucky_ ,” Steve snapped, but there was a pretty flush that started to crawl up his neck, and she could _feel_ him hard and hot between her legs.

 

If Quinn wasn’t desperate to have the clothes off these boys, she sure as hell was now. She grabbed at Steve’s undershirt, pulled him into her for a quick smooch on the lips, before she shoved him so he was sprawled back on the mattress. “Teach me.” She all but demanded when she looked over at Bucky, met him in the middle for a heated kiss. “Teach me how to take him apart.”

 

“That,” he whispered into her mouth while Steve whined below them, “that, I can do.”

 

“Then it’ll be your turn.” Quinn declared and loved how his eyes went dark, how his breath hitched a little at what she said.

 

“Y’know what else Steve loves?” he asked without commenting on her promise, but he didn’t have to. He’d have a turn in this, no doubt about that. His hand slid around to her back, where the zipper on her dress was. “Loves it when you compliment him—praise him,” he explained. “Sets him off quicker than a firework, I’ll tell you what. And don’t let that rank fool you. Loves to be bossed around. ‘M not sure which he likes more between those two things.”

 

“Huh,” she whispered and looked back down at Steve, brow raised, and he flushed under her scrutiny. “’S that how it is, sugar?” Bucky started to tug at her zipper, so she threw her hair over her shoulder to make sure it didn’t get caught. That’d be a real mood killer. In the meantime, she leaned down to press against Steve which would let Buck have an easier time getting her out of her dress. “Got to come up with some nice shit to say about you, yeah?” She tugged at the hem of his undershirt. “Take that off.”

 

Shame that she had to lean up to let him have the room to slide his shirt off, but Buck finally had her zipper down and she outright shivered when he ran his hands up her back, over her shoulders, and while he pressed a kiss on her neck, he pushed the short sleeves down her arms. And it didn’t really dawn on her while she pushed her dress down so it bunched around her waist that this was the first ever time they had seen her naked because she was so focused on all that naked skin Steve put in front of her. The sight of him was mouth-watering, that was for damn sure, so she didn’t pay much attention when Steve huskily ordered, “Bucky, move.” Then, quick as a whip, Steve moved an arm around her back to cushion it when he flipped her over onto the mattress.

 

Quinn let out an _oomph,_ went to open her mouth to complain, but stopped short because…Steve stared at her so serious. No, not her—her face, at least. It took her a little bit, but it clicked then. Naked equaled soul marks, out there in the open for the two of them to see. If one of them had decided to speak up, she wouldn’t have heard them because her heart pounded so fast and blood rushed in her ears. Tentative, Steve reached out and touched the right side of her body, then moved it up so his thumb was pressed over the start of his name, and traced it all the way down. That…her eyes closed and she shivered at the touch. It’d been…so long since someone touched her so soft, so gentle.

 

When she opened her eyes back up, her cheeks heated up and she shyly asked, “Can I see y’all’s?”

 

“Oh.” Steve blinked, looked away from her marks and up to her, and then smiled crooked. “‘Course you can, Quinn.”

 

It required some movement on her part where she had to sit back up, but he stretched out on his stomach, and there, scrawled across his shoulders, was her name underneath Bucky’s. _Quinn Esther Hayden_ , written out as if she’d done it by her own hand, and she let out a breath she didn’t know she’d sucked in. She looked to her side, where Bucky had moved around for a little bit, and she almost laughed because he’d had some trouble getting his pants off. The laugh stopped short when he scooted up the bed, beside Steve’s head, and she saw her name again, wrapped around Bucky’s left leg.

 

It wouldn’t ever not amaze her to see her name on someone else, to know that someone up there in the clouds decided she was worthy enough to belong to the people who wore her name. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that her hands shook when she reached out to touch Bucky’s leg. “We match,” she pointed out quietly because Steve was on her right side and on Bucky’s right leg. “Ain’t that something?”

 

“Sure is,” he agreed and decided to repeat Steve’s earlier action, ran his thumb down the other side of her body where his name was written out. “C’mere,” he mumbled as he cupped her cheek and pulled her in for another one of those slow kisses that took her breath away.

 

Now that he’d had a peek, she supposed that Steve wasn’t about to leave her marks alone because in the middle of their kiss, he traced his name again. Instead of starting from the top like last time, he started down at Rogers, moved up past Grant and past Steven, and she moaned when he cupped a breast. She really, _really_ needed to be naked _now_.

 

“Unhook me, Steve,” she directed against Bucky’s mouth. “Let me—” she tried to talk, but Bucky tried to kiss the words away. With a huff, she fell back onto her ass where she’d just been on her knees, pulled the brunet down so he was stretched out beside her. That way, she could start to push her dress down while her mouth was a bit busy, and eventually she had it down so she could kick it off. Ma would murder her to treat her dress that way, but she’d worry about that later.

 

“Quinn,” Steve whined at her back and Buck stopped his kisses so they could pay attention when Steve went on to say, “It won’t unhook.” To make his point known, he pulled on the strap of her brassiere and, honest, it was the worst time to crack up, but she couldn’t help it.

 

Bucky leaned down and buried his face into the crook of her neck. While his shoulders shook, he loudly commented, “He’s a lost cause. You know that? Not a smooth bone in his body,” but it came out muffled.

 

Steve still heard the crack at him, though, and she didn’t see his face because she was still turned to Bucky, but there was a pout. She knew there had to be. “ _You_ do it then, asshole.”

 

It was harder not to roll her eyes than it was not to laugh a second before, but she did manage to hold it back, and instead turned around to face Steve. He immediately went to kiss her, but she covered up his mouth and noted, with a frown, that, “You still have pants on.” His eyes darkened when she cocked a brow, looked down where the front of them were tented, back up to him, and then said, “Those need to be on the floor.”

 

The pressure around her back lessened and then the cool air brushed over her naked skin. Quinn shivered, goosebumps rose up on her skin, and she released a shaky exhale. While Steve was preoccupied with his pants, Bucky guided her to roll onto her back, and helped her toss her brassiere to the side, probably with her dress. He crowded in and kissed her, swallowed up the whimper she let out when Steve, finally naked she guessed, cupped her naked breast and ran a thumb over her nipple.

 

Suddenly, Bucky pulled away from her. “Hey, Quinn,” he started breathlessly. “Who has the better set of tits? You or Steve?” and what a dirty little fucker he was. She _loved_ it. Maybe loved it more when he kissed his way down her jaw, down her collarbone, and started to give attention to her other breast. Her mouth opened in the shape of an _O_ and Steve kissed it away, squeezed where he still had her cupped. “I’ll be the judge. What about it, huh?”

 

“You’re supposed to— _oh_.” Steve had leaned down, followed Buck’s lead, and she sighed. “Jesus, that’s nice.” Oh, yeah, she had something to say. “I’m supposed to be making Steve a mess, ain’t I?”

 

Steve leaned back a little and pinched her nipple while he informed her that, “Bucky’s done that enough.” A bolt of heat shot across her entire body and she moaned, a little desperate for some more of that. “I like this better. Bucky likes to tease and I think I’d like to see him do that to you. Maybe help out a little,” he grinned like the shit he was and pinched her nipple again. She sucked in a sharp breath then scowled because that wasn’t fair.

 

Quinn batted Bucky away from her and reached up to throw an arm around Steve’s shoulders. If he wanted to play this game, she had no problem with it. She sealed their lips together and, at the same time, splayed her hand across his bare chest. Lord, he was so warm and solid. Steve moved to his knees and brought her up with him, whined into her mouth when she scratched a nail across one of his nipples. Her hand didn’t stay there long, though, because it trailed down to roam across those delicious abs of his and, “God bless America,” she whispered against his mouth.

 

Steve groaned into her mouth at the joke. “Thought I’d only hear that awful line from Bucky.”

 

“Y’know what I wanna hear, Steve?” she leered and stroked a thumb over his hip where her hand had settled for a moment. “Think I’d love to hear the noises you make,” she whispered and never let it be said she wasn’t brave. Without an ounce of experience with a man, she reached down to wrap a hand around his prick. “Pretty boy,” she crooned as he keened.

 

“That’s beautiful.” Bucky murmured and pressed up behind her, put his chin on her shoulder. He wrapped his hand around the one she had wrapped around Steve, squeezed it a little harder so she, in turn, squeezed Steve’s dick a little harder. “He can take it. He likes it a little rough.” He explained into her ear. “Get your hand a little wet, so he don’t—” she sort of listened to what he said when she moved her thumb across the head of his cock, collected the precome, but instead of using it to make the slide of her hand easier, she lifted her hand up and popped her thumb into her mouth. She’d been curious, wanted to know what he tasted like. It was bitter, salty on her tongue, but not too horrible, honest.

 

Bucky snatched her chin and tipped her head to the side so he could have at her lips. “I’ll blow my load if you keep doing shit like that,” he warned after he’d taken the breath away from her.

 

“Ain’t that the point?” She asked and reached her hands back to grab his hips so she could pull him, just as hard as Steve, up against her ass. “You blowing your top?” she laughed while she started to grind back against his prick.

 

“You know damn well what I mean, Quinn.” He growled into her ear and clutched her hips, thumbed the hem of her panties. “What’re you still doing with these on, huh?” Like he wanted to show her the perks of having them off, he dipped a hand beneath them, and her back arched when his finger flicked across her clit. Quinn dug her fingers into Bucky’s hips and let her head loll back onto his shoulder, gasped as shots of pleasure bolted across her body with each stroke.

 

“Don’t sit there with your trap open,” Bucky called out to Steve and used his other hand to drag the blond toward her and him by the arm. “Come here.” Steve pressed to her front and over her shoulder, the two of them sealed their lips together. This was the first time she had ever seen them outright kiss and maybe it wasn’t just that hand down her panties that made her moan.

 

Christ, they were beautiful together.

 

“Wait.” Quinn panted and wrapped her hand around Bucky’s wrist. The two of them separated to look over at her and she moved her eyes up, away from them. “Can I—” she chewed on her bottom lip. It didn’t seem…right to ask this of them. “Do you—I mean—” okay. She needed to nut up and ask them. “Can I watch you two?” There was no doubt her face was red in embarrassment, but she went on. “And I want to…help. Get you ready—whoever wants it.” This didn’t seem to be coming out right. “Uh,” came out of her mouth lamely because she had no idea what was she was doing anymore.

 

Steve cupped her cheeks in his big, warm hands and she looked him in those pretty, earnest eyes. He leaned in and kissed her so soft and slow that it put a lump in her throat again, made her heart fill up and spill over with the love she had for these two. It seemed like amidst all the lust and desire, the love got lost a little. “Ask us whatever you want. You don’t have to be ashamed when you’re with us, Quinn.”

 

“Okay,” she whispered shyly.

 

Still, it was more than her and Steve here, so she looked over at Buck. It seemed like a lost to ask, put them on display for her, and not everyone liked that kind of stuff. “I’m with Steve on this, baby doll.” Bucky murmured and kissed her. “You’re safe in here with us.” He huffed out a laugh. “And I don’t mind one bit—you watching me fuck Steve stupid.”

 

“The mouth on you,” Quinn lamented. It’d be the death of her.

 

It was cold without them plastered to her, but she’d live with it. They had to move around so Steve could sprawl out in the middle of the bed and Bucky had to get up and walk over to the desk on the other side of the room to rummage around inside a drawer.

 

Quinn looked back down at Steve, drank in the sight of him, and that boy was a work of art—lips red and swollen from where she and Buck had kissed them, golden hair disheveled, a thin layer of sweat on his skin, pupils blown to where she couldn’t make out much of the blue anymore. With a hum, she leaned down and ran her tongue across a nipple, tasted his clean sweat, and she was certain that she was real, _real_ hungry. She littered kisses across his chest, started to move down and down his toned stomach, watched him as she went, but stopped at his belly button with a smirk.

 

Bucky came back to the bed with them and kneeled on the other side of Steve, a little glass jar of Vaseline in hand. “You ever fingered a dame before?” He asked without preamble.

 

“A few times,” she answered with a shrug. What happened between her and Josie in the metaphorical bedroom would remain private, but she’d tried it with Josie a couple of times. At first, she’d thought she hadn’t done it right, but it took a few more experiences for them to figure out that Josie didn’t like it when she was full. So, that had been that, and the only practice Quinn had after that was when she slipped a finger inside herself from time to time.

 

“It’s like that.” Bucky explained while he opened up the jar. “Can’t get wet on his own, but do it right and you’ll make his toes curl like any dame.” Steve squawked at the comment, but Buck didn’t mind him none as he scooped out a little Vaseline and started to slick up his fingers. “Watch and learn, sweetheart.”

 

After he passed the slick to her, Bucky manhandled Steve so his legs were spread out lewdly, one bent so both her and Buck could see him, laid out and bare to the world. Absentmindedly, Quinn reached into the jar so she could slick up her fingers, too, but kept her eyes on Bucky’s hands. “Make sure he breathes before you put a finger in him.” Bucky explained while he traced the rim of Steve’s hole with a finger. “Gonna take a breath for me, baby?” He asked Steve who sucked in a deep breath and exhaled shakily when Bucky slid a finger inside him.

 

It’d take a little bit before Steve could take another and Quinn _did_ hate to not be useful, so she scooted up on the bed a little so she could press a kiss to the head of Steve’s dick. He whined when she licked up a bead of precome. Quinn looked up and her eyes connected with his, and she made sure not to look away when she slowly took him into her mouth. He choked out a moan and his hand flew up to the back of her head, threaded through her hair, but he didn’t push or force her down.

 

It was definitely different from what she was used to, but that didn’t mean it was bad. Steve was hot and heavy on her tongue and it made her a little dizzy how much he responded to it when she started to bob up and down, not too far because she wasn’t sure how much of him she could take without gagging—again, that’d be a hell of a mood killer. What she couldn’t fit in her mouth she made up for when she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock. The smell of him, the taste of him was heady, and she moaned. _This_ she could definitely get used to, she was sure.

 

Steve’s chest heaved and his eyes had lifted up, not on them anymore, and it looked like he was about to bite through his bottom lip. It _looked_ like he was close. She leaned away from him with an obscene pop and tilted her head to the side, asked, “You close already?”

 

He laughed breathlessly. “I think I’ve been close since you got naked.”

 

“You’re supposed to have some kinda super soldier stamina, ain’t you?”

 

“Two most beautiful people in the world naked, in my bed,” he smiled wryly. “I’m sure a normal person would’ve tapped out by now if they were in my situation.”

 

Quinn blushed at the compliment, but leaned back up on her knees and looked at Buck. “And here you done said he wasn’t smooth.”

 

“He has his moments.” Bucky waggled his brows and she grinned. “Come here and give me a hand, would yah?”

 

“More like a finger,” He rolled his eyes at the joke and she pouted. That was a nice one.

 

Bucky slid his finger out of Steve who whined at the loss. “Go ahead and let him have two.”

 

Quinn bit the inside of her cheek and nervously ran a hand up Steve’s thigh. It’d been a while since she’d done this, after all, and what if she messed up? A fella and a lady were completely different from each other and she’d only ever done this in relation to ladies. But, she thought while she slowly slid her hand up and traced the rim of his entrance with a finger, practice does make perfect. A little more determined to learn, she pressed a finger inside him where it was hot and tight.

 

“’M not gonna break,” Steve commented from above her and his hips shifted restlessly. “Gimme,” he demanded.

 

Her nose scrunched up and she slid her finger out, added another beside it, and then thrusted them back inside him without much gentleness. “Keep still.” She ordered with a frown. Heat pooled in her belly when he keened at the fullness her two fingers brought.

 

“Good.” Bucky praised and nibbled on her shoulder. “Now, move in a little deeper. Yeah, like that. And you crook them a little, and—” she pressed a hand on Steve’s knee, pushed her fingers in deeper like Bucky told her to, and when she curved them upward, she brushed against his prostate. Steve jerked like he’d been shocked, but his back arched off the bed a bit, and that was pretty. “That’s perfect.” Bucky breathed out. “You need to start to open him up, alright?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I hear,” but she didn’t listen. Instead, she curled her fingers back up, relentlessly pressed up against that sweet spot in him. What could she say? Seeing him like that, caught up in his pleasure, it was getting to her. His eyes were screwed shut, he had his hands fisted in the sheets, his chest heaved, and he was pulled so taut like a bowstring. “Do it Steve. Come for me. My pretty boy,” she crooned and crooked her fingers and _there_. White streaked across his stomach as he came and he let out these breathy little _ah’s_ that stretched while she milked him through his orgasm.

 

Bucky cocked a brow at her, smiling and shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re merciless.”

 

Quinn slid out of him, smiled at how he moaned at the loss, but then raised her hand up to wiggle her fingers at Bucky. “I don’t know. Steve seemed to like it.” She looked back over at Steve, a little timid. “ _Did_ you like it? Was that good?”

 

“The spunk didn’t clue you in?” Steve shot back through his heaving breaths.

 

Goddamn it. Two idiots, that’s what her fellas her. Bucky sighed from next to her. “Well, since you made him blow his top, guess that means it’s your turn.”

 

“What—” she squeaked when he took her into his arms and pushed back until she was sprawled across the bed. Since Steve took it up, they had to be sideways to make it work out, so her legs hung off the edge. “No. I said it’d be _your_ turn.” She blinked up at him all innocent-like. “I wanna see how pretty you are when you come, Buck. That’s not too much to ask for, is it?”

 

Bucky squinted down at her, but she felt his cock twitch in interest where it was pressed against her, and she counted that as a win. “You got a dirty mouth, Hayden.”

 

“Picked it up on account of you,” she drawled.

 

Bucky hummed, but didn’t say nothing in response to that. She pushed herself up on her elbows when the bed dipped down and watched the brunet stand up. Quinn drank in the sight of him, licked her lips to make sure he knew she liked what she saw. He shot a crooked smile and bent over, hooked his hands under her thighs, and forced her toward the edge of the mattress. She was a little confused at what he had in mind, but it made sense when he kneeled down onto the floor, between her legs.

 

“You don’t have to.” Quinn groused. “I said I wanted to get you— _ah_ —off.” She fumbled when he spread her apart unceremoniously and rubbed his thumb over her clit. “You listen here, James Barnes— _fuck. Shit,_ ” she cursed because he licked across her clit. Those blue eyes, so light they could be gray, shot up to connect with her, a challenge behind them, daring her to talk more shit. And just because he looked at her like that, she opened her mouth, but wheezed because his tongue slid down to her entrance, darted inside. “Yeah, okay,” she gasped out. “I don’t mind going first.”

 

“Technically speakin’, I went first.” Apparently, when Steve came, the Brooklyn came out in him. It was a slow drawl in her ear and she moaned because while his warm breath fanned out across her shoulder, Bucky did the same across her clit. “C’mon, Buck, what’re you waiting for? Let her have it.”

 

Oh, shit. There was _that_ gleam in Bucky’s eyes when her gaze dropped back down to him. Oh, no, no, no. She’d die. This was her death warrant—signed, sealed, and delivered. Bucky slid his hands under her knees and pulled them up so they were draped across her shoulders and went to fucking _town_ on her. Her mouth opened, but a noise didn’t come out. She gripped his hair tighter, maybe with a little more force than she should’ve used, but he must’ve liked it with how he moaned into her.

 

Steve tugged her back down so she was spread out across the sheets, stared down at her like she’d just laid out a buffet in front of him. She’d already started to tremble, so when she reached out to run her thumb across his bottom lip, it shook. He took her hand, pressed a kiss in the middle while he looked at her warmly, and then that warmth heated up into a fire. Steve leaned down and she could only cling to the back of his neck when he took a breast into his mouth.

 

“More,” she pleaded. There was a pause and, oh, yeah, they didn’t know who she was talking to. “Both. Both of you—please. More,” she panted because they’d stopped and she could _not_ have that. Not when that coil in her belly had started to tighten.

 

Steve added a little more pressure to his squeezes, started to use a little teeth, and that was nice— _fantastic_. Then, Bucky decided to slowly slip a finger inside beside his tongue and, “F _uck_. Oh, fuck.” She was a damned hypocrite because she’d gotten on Steve when he started to get all restless, but now her hips started to move. “Give me more, Buck. I want it.” He made a noise into her, like he wasn’t sure she was ready, so she moved her hips down onto his finger with a whine.

 

Thank fuck he decided to listen to her. Bucky moved his tongue up and away from her entrance, nursed at her clit instead, and slid another finger beside the one already inside her. There was more of a stretch and it’d been so long since she’d had the time to do this to herself. She must’ve made a face because Steve leaned up to kiss it away, caressed her cheek until she relaxed a bit. It wasn’t like she could relax that much, though, because she was so, so close. She didn’t even make noises anymore. Her toes curled, she started to tense up, and the pitch of her gasps went higher and higher the closer she was pushed to the edge.

 

Steve was there to kiss her when she finally hit that climax. Honest, she wasn’t so sure she could really call it a kiss because all she did was let out a long, breathy moan while she raked her nails across his shoulder that she’d clutched onto in the midst of her orgasm. “God,” she croaked and jerked when Bucky kissed her clit again. “Too much, too much,” she yelped, too oversensitive to handle anymore after that. “Get the fuck up here.” She hissed and leaned up so she could grab his shoulders and try to haul him back onto the bed with her and Steve.

 

“I take it my skills were decent?” Bucky joked.

 

“Barely made it over the average line,” she growled but she probably didn’t look too scary since she still shivered in the wake of her orgasm. “I should return the favor with a decent suck job.”

 

“I can live with that.” Quinn snorted and Buck went with her when she pushed him onto his back. “Guess I should warn you that this won’t last much longer,” he sounded a little pained about that. “A breeze could set me off right about now.”

 

It was about time he had his turn, in her mind. There’d been plenty of foreplay for him. So, she didn’t mess around and play coy. Quinn sucked him down, as much as he could, and wrapped her hand around the base of his cock for what she couldn’t swallow. Bucky’s groan came out muffled and she looked up to see that Steve had sealed their lips together. She kept her eyes on them as she started to move up and down, watched as Steve trailed a hand down across Bucky’s collarbone, and raked his nails across Bucky’s nipples. Bucky shuddered underneath her and maybe it was seeing him clutch at Steve while they kept kissing that made her tender, but she reached her free hand up to lace their fingers together.

 

“Quinn, fuck, ‘m gonna come,” he warned and she squeezed his hand, let him know that it was okay. Quinn closed her eyes, moaned when his dick pulsed, and sucked down every last bit of him. It was bitterer than those little tastes she’d had of Steve, but she could handle it. It wasn’t so bad, actually.

 

Quinn slithered back up the bed when he had no more left to give and pecked Bucky on the lips, tilted her head to the side to kiss Steve, too. It was only when she leaned away that she noticed something. “ _No_.” she stared at Steve incredulously. “You’re hard _again_?”

 

“I can’t help it. It’s the damn serum.” Steve defended. “And ‘m sorry, but seeing you and Bucky make each other come makes it real hard not to get it up again.”

 

Bucky huffed in amusement. “C’mere, punk,” she moved around so that Steve could take the space between her and Bucky. “It’s such a hassle fucking you, y’know that?” She slid an arm under Steve’s so she could splay a hand across his broad chest and pressed her chin on his shoulder so she could watch Buck wrap a hand around Steve’s dick. “Got to get you off so many times.”

 

“Yeah, you look real down about it.” Steve remarked wryly.

 

She hummed, skirted a hand across one of Steve’s nipples, and mused that, “If he can still talk, I don’t think you’re doin’ it right, Buck.”

 

“Your both little shit-heads,” Bucky grumbled.

 

“But we’re _your_ —” whatever Buck did with his hand, it made Steve snap his mouth shut.

 

It didn’t take too much more to make Steve come, not when he had both her and Bucky there to coax him with the dirtiest shit the two of them could come up with. There were wet spots in the sheets, but the three of them didn’t make a move to do shit about it. On his back now, Quinn and Bucky shared Steve’s chest as a pillow. She sighed happily when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

 

“Steve wins.” She remarked out of the blue. Bucky stared at her like she’d lost it, so she explained that, “Steve has the best tits between me ‘n him. That’s my opinion, anyway. Don’t think there’s anyone with a better rack than him.”

 

“You have a nice ass.” Bucky offered and winked at her when he reached down to grab a handful of said ass.

 

“You’re both awful.” Steve complained and it wasn’t like her or Bucky were about to correct him when he was on the money.

 

Quinn had no idea how much time they spent curled up around each other, but someone (Steve) decided that they needed to move, only because it’d be hard to sleep in the nude with an open window, the radio and the lamp both turned on, and he had a point there. Thankfully, Bucky was the one closest to all that shit, so all she had to do was move enough where Steve could tug down the blankets while Bucky stood up to do all the work—which he made sure to whine about the whole time.

 

Exhausted in the best possible way, Quinn was pretty damn pliable and didn’t protest when Steve maneuvered her so that she was in the middle now, her back pressed to his chest. Her eyes closed and she tried not to doze, not until Buck came back to bed. She made a happy noise when he pressed against her front and it was so nice and warm.

 

Their heartbeats lulled her to sleep.


	14. Touch Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about new territories is that there's so much to explore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More porn. What am I doing with my life? Anyway, this a little bit of a filler, I guess? This chapter is mostly to jump ahead in time and to work on my porn writing skills. Uh, I can't think of anything else to write, so I hope you enjoy this chapter. Quinn, Steve, and Bucky are all dirty little fuckers, just sayin'.  
> I love you guys! And remember to take [ this poll](http://www.poll-maker.com/poll302551x175E6Bd8-11) to decide the future of the series!  
> I love you guys! :>
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I own no one from Marvel.

A stupid person Quinn was not and that meant that she was more than aware she had sinned and would continue to sin until she was put to rest. As pious as people wanted to act, in her opinion, it was in human nature to sin. Sure, she tried to be as decent a person that she could be, tried to put a limit on how much and how extreme her sins went, but she wasn’t about to be a hypocrite and act like she didn’t fuck up because she _did_. And if a person ever wanted to know what her most committed sin was, what her downfall would no doubt be the result of, it’d have to be that she coveted too, too much. Quinn knew what she did and didn’t deserve, but when someone let her have the say-so, said, “Quinn, I’m yours,” she went for the kill, scooped them up, put them in her heart, and wrapped around them with so much desperation and force that it’d scare a person. It was a little bit like a tornado, a force of nature, and no one could stop it—stop _her_.

 

The point is that when Steve and Buck shared their bedroom with her, laid themselves out there in the open to her, it was an unspoken, “Go ahead and have at us, Quinn.” So, of course she ate that up, snatched it and them with her greedy little hands, and it was a little bad how much pleasure she took in that. Out there in the world, they were public property of Uncle Sam’s, not soul mates because heaven forbid they not be _normal_ —she loved him, of course she did, but Steve was an enhanced super soldier so it wasn’t like he was all that normal, anyway—and they had to be careful. In public, she had to make sure she wasn’t leaned too close, make sure she didn’t touch too much or let her hands stay on them more than was appropriate, make sure she didn’t have too much love in her smiles, but now…now she had them in private. There was no one to watch them—except each other, sometimes with no touches but that was a whole other story—and no secrets to keep. Not a one of them was perfect, hell no, but she saw them in the deepest kind of way that _no one_ in the world would _ever_ see.

 

Okay, so she coveted and was a little too prideful.

 

Also, now that she could slip under the sheets with them, some would probably call that a sin and, woo boy, did that one fly up the charts when it came to how much she abused it. If one wanted to be technical about it all, she still hadn’t…they hadn’t stuck it in her yet, but she wanted to save that for some time special, when there was no rush—maybe on their next date if they ever had the chance for one? But she did fool around with them which she didn’t know how that was a sin. These were her soul mates and she loved them with all her heart and God wanted that out of His children, didn’t He?

 

Quinn could remember what it’d been like when she and Josie had started to learn about each other in the personal sort of manner and it was a lot of the same as it was now. Goddamn if she couldn’t keep her hands off those two. If it was hard before not to do it in public, it was even harder now that she knew what was under those uniforms of theirs. To her utter satisfaction, that apparently went both—went three ways?

 

They were a little, teeny, tiny bit like rabbits.

 

\---

 

It all started when the Commandos reported back to headquarters after their weekend leave, a mere three days after their date, and it could be said, without a doubt, that she was in a chipper mood that day. Why, when she was told that there was a new batch of nurses that needed to be trained to replace the ones hauled to the front lines and that she had to supervise, she didn’t even mind a bit. All she did was snatch up _The Hobbit_ from her personals she stored at headquarters and headed off to meet them, a little pep in her step…

 

…until someone snatched her arm and pulled her into a broom closet which almost made her trip and crack her head open. Quinn looked up, about to tell someone what was what, but stopped to squint at her kidnapper. “Is there a reason we’re in a closet, Barnes?” Her head swiveled around to look at the small space and, the next second, a bulb clicked on in her head. “I _knew_ it!” She hissed and pointed at him with an accusing finger. “This is where you and Steve mess around when no one can find y’all, ain’t it?”

 

“Got me there. Other than you, we have no reason to be here in medical.” Bucky shrugged, a little smirk on his lips. “No one thinks to look here for us—not in some closet, anyway. Steve’s too respectable for that.”

 

“Oh, is he now?” she quirked a brow at him. “And what about you, huh? Is there where you seduce our respectable captain? This where you dirty him up?” she was a little more than aware how he’d started to crowd her into the wall, put his hands on her hips, and leaned his face close to hers.

 

Bucky didn’t look a bit ashamed when he answered with, “This is where I come for a taste of him when I need it.” His lips pursed. “But I have this problem and it’s that Steve’s wrapped up with all those officers Phillips complains about, the ones whose asses he has to kiss,” he pouted a little, “and I have an itch that needs scratching. Understand?” he asked in a murmur while his hands slid around her waist and pulled her to his chest.

 

No one had ever said Quinn was a respectable person, but she still tutted at him. “So, you decide you want to make _me_ late? Ain’t you heard? I have new nurses to train and what would they say if I showed up and looked all,” she searched for a word, “debauched?”

 

“C’mon, baby doll,” he whined like he didn’t realize her arms had slithered around his shoulders and she pressed up against him like some horny schoolgirl. “I’ll make sure you look presentable for your recruits. I’ll make sure to mark you up where no one but me can see. How’s that sound?”

 

Quinn hummed, as if she had to think his offer over. “You better make this worth my while, Barnes.” She sighed like he’d put her out. “And don’t you dare leave a mark where someone can see it.” She warned coolly while, inside her chest, her heart kicked up a notch when his hands started to undo the buttons of her white dress she wore when at headquarters.

 

“Cross my heart,” he mumbled and, then, like someone had lit a fire under his ass, he was frantic, leaned down to capture her lips. “Make sure you’re quiet,” he drawled when he pulled away from her after she’d moaned because he slid his tongue across her bottom lip and had practically fucked her mouth with it when she let him in.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” she snapped quietly and tried to tug him back down to kiss her again, but he didn’t. What he did do was unbutton her dress enough that he could push the straps to her brassiere down and pull out her tits to get his mouth on them. “Oh.” She breathed out and carded her hand through his hair. “Buck,” she whimpered when he gently bit a nipple and thumbed the other than he didn’t have a mouth around.

 

“Keep it down,” he reminded while he dropped to his knees in front of her.

 

Quinn sucked in a shaky breath and peered down at him with half-lidded eyes while he rucked her dress up around her waist. “You an expert at this?” she teased when he made quick work of unfastening her garters and pulled down her panties, made her step out of them. Her stockings, she noticed, he hadn’t made to take off.

 

“You wanna complain? I can always wait for Steve to get done,” he shot back with a sly grin before he pressed a kiss to the inside of her knee.

 

It was when he started to run his fingertips up and down her legs that she noticed something. The light touches sent shivers down her spine, sure, but it didn’t seem like he meant to do that. He had his eyes set on the white nylons, touched them in a way that reminded her of what she used to do as a kid when she wanted to feel the material on her fingertips. And that…interested her.

 

“Like my stockings, sugar?” she guessed. There wasn’t much in the way of light in the closet, so she couldn’t see his face, but he stopped and tensed up, so it must’ve embarrassed him. “Maybe next time we’re alone,” she started because she didn’t want him to be ashamed. If they wouldn’t mind what she wanted, of course she wouldn’t mind what they wanted, either. “Maybe you can borrow mine, yeah?” Bucky snapped his eyes up and locked gazes with her. “Just an idea,” she said unabashedly.

 

And she thought someone had lit a fire under his ass before. Oh, no. He hiked her leg up over his shoulder, spread open her pussy, and dove in to lick a stripe up her clit before he feasted like a starving man. Quinn fumbled to hold on to something for purchase at the sudden waves of pleasure that spread up and rolled throughout her body, but all she could do was grip her hands in his hair and tug. She hadn’t meant to tug so hard, but he must’ve liked that more than she thought because he moaned against her, darted his tongue inside her deeper, and she couldn’t hold back the moan.

 

“You like that, don’t you? When I get rough with yah,” she panted and tugged again. “Just like you’d love to wear my stockings, yeah?” His moan sounded like an agreeing one. “You’d look so pretty, wrapped up in ‘em— _fuck, shit_. And— _ah,_ ” fucking fuck, how the shit was he so good at this? It hadn’t even _been_ that long and she was already starting to get close. The heat in her gut started to build and her gasps went higher in pitch when she wasn’t busy running her mouth. “And…and I’d love takin’ ‘em off you, unwrap you like some kind of special present, see my name on you when I take ‘em off. We’ll know that you’re mine. You’re mine, ain’t you, Buck?” Then, her brain up and quit on her and all she could chant, over and over was, “ _Bucky, Bucky, Bucky_.”

 

It was when she was so, so close that it dawned on her she was a whole lot louder than usual. Shit, shit, shit, she was probably _too_ loud. So, she reached down and tugged at one of his arms, pulled it up so she could put his hand in her face, and then wrap her lips around two of his fingers. While he moaned into her, he used his other hand to grab her ass and haul her forward, to where she was grinding her pussy against his mouth. Then, with that same hand, he shoved two fingers inside her without a bit of warning. It worked like a charm because that was it, the show was over, folks. Quinn seized up and came with a long, drawn out moan that was muffled by his fingers.

 

Buck kissed his way up her body, but impatient because she felt where he was stroking himself and she wanted in on that party, she forced him up so she could kiss him. While she kissed him as frantically as he’d done before, moaned because that was _her_ on his mouth, she reached down and wrapped her hand around the hand he had around his dick. “Come on, sweetheart. Come for me,” she crooned against his lips and he shoved his face into the crook of her neck to muffle his own shout when he came.

 

 

Like Quinn said, that was the start.

 

\---

 

Two weeks later, the Commandos were back out in the war, nestled in the middle of some forest and camped out underneath the stars to catch some sleep before their ambush on a base. Quinn couldn't muster up the peace of mind to sleep, so she didn't even bother anymore. After she shimmied out of her bedroll and stumbled to her feet, she walked to the outskirts of their campsite, where Steve was sat at the base of a tree, on watch. When he smiled up at her and she smiled back, he scooted over so she could plop down next to him.

 

“Can't sleep?” he asked quietly.

 

She shook her head, tucked her knees up to her chest, and put her chin on top of them. “Not a wink,” she answered. “Don't mind some company, I hope.” Before he could respond to that—because, somehow, she knew that he’d made some smart ass comment about how horrible she’d be—she added quickly, “I don't think I'd care if you did, though.”

 

Steve blinked then huffed in amusement. “If you put it like that…” There was a lull in the conversation for a minute or two, but then broke it when he admitted that, “It's hard to sleep out here sometimes. I’m so used to how loud Brooklyn is, y’know. I hate it—the quiet, I mean.”

 

“Really? Because when we took our trip up to Cincinnati, we decided to stay there and then head back the next day. We stayed at some motel and it was so damn loud, I could’ve screamed. Didn’t sleep a bit until we were back on the road. I bet it’d be even worse in Brooklyn.” She shuddered to think about that. “But it’s not as quiet back home—or here—as you’d think it’d be, not when you think about it so much or compare it to the city. Stop and listen a second,” she ordered and he didn’t make a peep, so she started to point out sounds. “We have the little critters in the trees ‘n bushes, there’s the wind a little bit, Dum-Dum’s _snores_ …” He snorted and she beamed over at him. “See? Not that quiet, after all, yeah?”

 

"Guess not," he answered and leaned his head back on the tree. "Is it pretty much the same here as it is back in your town?”

 

“I don’t think the woods are all that different, no matter what country you’re in.” She mused, tilted her head up to look at the stars. “Our house is in the woods, see. It’s not in town, really, but then, I don’t think anyone’s is. All the houses are…outside the town?” she rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s hard to explain, but we’re deep, _deep_ in the woods. There’s the animals to hear, my room’s next to Liam’s and he since he’s starting to grow more and more, he sometimes knocks his knees or elbows into the wall so there’s that, too. Uh, we have Pa’s snores that’re worse than Dum-Dum’s if you can believe that, and oh, there’s the lake, too.” She looked back over at him, pursed her lips. “Everyone has noises when they sleep, I think. They’re just…different from place to place, is all it is.”

 

Steve hummed. “I didn’t think about it like that.” Then, he told her, “Still, I miss Brooklyn, and I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can live in Kentucky. Whenever…the war’s over,” his voice went real quiet. “If you still want to be with us when this is all over.”

 

"You can sometimes be a real dumb ass." Quinn whispered affectionately and scooted over so she was pressed up to his side, moved a hand down to lace her fingers through his. “Steve Rogers,” she started with the most serious tone she could muster, “I’m _terrified_ of how goddamn loud Brooklyn will be and I demand to visit my family as much as we can afford to, but I _will_ be with you and Bucky after this damn war is over. And,” she added quickly while her cheeks started to heat up, “you should be honored, with how much sleep I’ll be sacrificing for y’all. Just so you know…”

 

When he untangled their fingers, she was sure she’d messed up and went too far—because she did that a whole, whole lot—but it was only so he could reach up and touch her cheek, tilt her face over toward him. It took her a little by surprise, how he surged forward to kiss her, but she gave back as much as she got. “That’s—” he breathed out against her lips. “Thank you.” For what, she wondered. Jeez, he acted like it was such a hassle, loving him. It made her heart hurt a little, how little her boys thought they deserved.

 

“A dumb ass,” she repeated and leaned back away when he moved to kiss her again because she wanted to move around a bit. She splayed a hand out across his chest and pushed him back against the tree then moved so she could straddle him, chest to chest. “Steve,” she sighed and cupped his cheeks with her hands. “You and Bucky are the world to me. You do know that, don’t you?”

 

All bashful, he answered, “I do now.”

 

"Damn it,” she pressed her forehead to his. “I ain't doing it right then if you just now figured that out.”

 

A hand slid up her back, wrapped around the back of her neck, and pulled her forward so he could press his lips sweetly to hers. The kiss made her eyes flutter shut and she looped her arms around his shoulders to pull him as close to her as she could. Fuck, he was so sweet—so, so sweet. How could he not think he wasn’t the world to her? After all the time she’d spent with him and Bucky, the kisses and the date and every other moment in between, how could he be that blind?

 

"Let me show you." She pleaded and leaned away to pepper kisses on his nose, his cheeks, his jaw, anywhere that wasn’t covered by a uniform. “Let me make you feel as good as you make me feel.” She kissed her way across his jaw, up to his ear, and kissed a spot behind his ear that made him shiver underneath her. “Please let me?” she asked in her most sugar sweet voice.

 

"Christ, Quinn,” he knocked his head back on the tree and squeezed his eyes shut. “We’re out here in the middle of the woods and you wanna fuck around?”

 

Quinn shot him a wry look, moved her hands around to grip his shoulders for purchase, and rocked her hips against his crotch. “Why not? You and Bucky do it all the time.” She pointed out and he sputtered for an excuse, but she moved her hips again and shut him up. “Don’t pretend y’all don’t. I ain’t stupid. You two wonder off into the woods for supplies, take your patrols at the same time, watch each other’s backs when you wash up in the river, and you’re about to tell me you two _don’t_ fuck?”

 

“We don’t fuck. Don’t have time to do that much,” he muttered. “We suck each other off here ‘n there, but even that’s hard with the damn buckles and shit on this uniform. You’d think Howard could make it not so hard to get in and out of.” He clutched her hips. “Me ‘n Buck mostly—”

 

“Neck like two horny teenagers?” she finished for him and tried not to pout, but it was hard. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a point. It’d be more of a hassle to undress him than not. _But_ , well, she had her a brilliant idea. “In Howard’s report, after Project Rebirth, y’know,” she started innocently, “it says that you’re more…sensitive. Is that true?”

 

"Yes?" he replied uneasily.

 

“Does that mean _all_ of you is sensitive? Because, and this ain’t meant to be taken offensively, after our date, you seemed to shoot off like a firecracker—”

 

See, there he went, on the defensive. “Like I said then, I can’t _help_ it. Same as I can’t help how quick I can get it back up,” he started to hunch in on himself. “It feels—there’s so much sensation and…and pleasure. It’s a lot to take in sometimes.”

 

Quinn rolled her eyes. "It wasn't a complaint, Steve. I’m curious.” He made an inquisitive sound and she shot him a sly smirk. “I wonder if I could get you to come—just like this,” she made a point to grind against him again. “You and me, rubbing off against each other like a couple ah teenagers who snuck out late to mess around. It’d be a real challenge, wouldn’t it? Think I can do it?”

 

Steve surged forward to kiss her again and, when she rocked her hips again, he moved his up to meet hers. She could feel him between her legs, hard and a real fucking tease because she wanted a taste, but she made a bet with herself to see if she could get him off by rutting against him. Still, just because he was sensitive didn’t mean he could come in his pants like a teenagers by dry-humping alone, so maybe she needed to play a little dirty.

 

Quinn moved her hands up from his shoulders, past his cheeks, up to grip his hair and force his head back. He moaned and she darted forward to kiss at the throat he bared to her. God, she wished she could play with his tits, but the fabric had too much padding—oh. Shit. His hands had slithered down to grab her ass and force her down quicker, harder, and she whimpered. Fuck, she was so turned on.

 

"I think about it, y'know." Okay, she was about to cheat, but it wasn't like she had her hands or mouth on his dick, so…fair game, by her book. “You and Bucky fucking each other, I mean. It’s the hottest damn thing I’ve ever thought about in my life. That’s what sets _me_ off like a firecracker.” He groaned, pitched forward to kiss at her neck, and she tilted her head back to let him. “I saw you two, after the ambush, when we were stuck inside that windmill,” he stilled and she’d already said it, so she couldn’t turn back now. “I saw how much you wanted his dick and when I heard how you moaned for me when he said my name…God, I was so hot, Steve. I couldn’t stand it no more. I had to run back to my room and touch myself.”

 

Steve's arms clamped around her back and he shoved his face between her tits, moaned and started to rut against her faster, desperate for friction and release. “You two were all I could think about. You’re still all I can think about when I’m gettin’ myself off. Do you like that? Knowing that when I’ve got my hand in my panties, all I think about is how I wish it was you—”

 

There it was, those little _ah_ ’s, so sweet and stretched out the closer he was. And oh, he was so close, she could tell. He leaned up, pressed his forehead back to hers, tried to kiss her but all he could do was pant against her mouth. “Quinn,” he whined. “Quinn, please just—” he growled and it sounded frustrated which was all she processed before he shoved her back onto the grass. He pressed down against her, but kept himself up with an elbow near her head, and used his other hand to hike one of her legs around his waist.

 

As soon as his hips started to move again, more frantically than before, she had to shove her face into his chest to muffle her moan. "Yeah, sugar," she breathed out when she could manage to do more than whimper. "Like that. Oh, baby, that’s so sweet. _You’re_ so sweet to me. Let me have it. I want it so bad.” Beside her head, his fingers clawed at the dirt, and he stilled while he shouted curses and her name into her shoulder. And that there possibly skyrocketed to number one on her list of shit she’d think about the next time she touched herself.

 

Quinn rubbed circles into his back and kissed his cheek while he came down from it, whispered about how he did so nice for her. “ _Fuck_ ,” Steve started and moved his face to press into the crook of her neck, “ _Where_ did you learn to talk like that? No. Don’t answer that.” She tried to laugh as quietly as she could and he went on to complain that, “I’m gonna die. I won’t make it. You _and_ Bucky’s mouths… _together_? I’ll explode.”

 

That was how she knew she’d treated him nice.

 

\---

 

Near the end of September, back in London until their next mission, that awful heat had broken and let in the cooler times that came with autumn. It was such a nice, nice breeze that came in the window when she snuck to Steve’s room once relieved from headquarters, and the weather was perfect to laze around in. Had Steve not taken off his shirt, she could’ve fallen asleep, curled up behind him, but instead, she decided to trace the names across his back. Leaned up against the headboard, Buck had one hand threaded in Steve’s hair and a smoke in the other. She had her cheek pressed to Steve’s skin, and it was such a perfect day, soothed her so much that she should’ve dozed, but…she wasn’t all that sure. Soul marks were hard to sleep around because who knew when the last time she’d see them would be?

 

Quinn leaned up on an elbow so she could move around a little bit better and started to pepper kisses across his shoulders, down his spine, back up, and Steve hummed. Bucky must’ve taken notice because when she looked up, he crunched the end of his smoke into the ashtray and scooted down so he was across from her. She cocked her head to the side, waved toward Steve as if to tell him without words that she was more than happy to share her plate with him.

 

“Steve,” Buck spoke up and broke the silence that’d settled in pretty much since she came inside and flopped down on the bed. “Hey, Steve,” he said a little louder when Steve didn’t answer. “Do us a favor and strip.”

 

Steve, who had his arms crossed underneath him and his cheek pressed into a pillow, shook his head. “Do it yourself if you want it so bad, jerk. ’M too comfortable to move now.” He then made a point to shove his whole face into the pillow which meant the conversation was over on his end.

 

As she’d learned, though, when Bucky had an itch, he didn’t stop until it was scratched. _Do it yourself_ , he mouthed sarcastically while he shoved his hands into Steve’s waistband. The blond squawked and she covered her mouth to muffle the snort. Steve started to complain while Bucky tried to haul Steve up off the bed enough to reach around and unbuckle his belt, so she had to move away while they wrestled around with each other. Take two kids and shove them into a war and they’re still a couple of kids.

 

“Was that so hard, huh?” Bucky asked when he finally started to pull Steve’s pants down. “Never seen someone that didn’t want to be treated by me, y’know that?” He tossed Steve’s trousers across the room and slapped his ass. Steve shoved his face back into the pillow. “You’re such a shit.”

 

“And what’s he ‘bout to be treated to, if I may ask?” Quinn piped up, raked her nails across Steve’s back lightly, and loved the way he sighed happily.

 

“You inspired me, see.” He explained, all Brooklyn, while he looked over at her. “I planned to eat him out ‘til he cries.” Steve made a noise into the pillow that sounded like he was on board for that idea. “But since he don’t seem to want it, the offer’s up for you, too.”

 

Quinn shook her head. “Maybe you ought to ask him sweeter,” she suggested and leaned down to press a kiss on his shoulder. “Steve, honey, baby, let me eat yah out. Please? I’d make it worth your while, I swear it. You’ll lose your goddamn mind, it’ll be so nice.” Steve groaned into the pillow, grinded his hips down against the mattress, and she hummed. “That’s not an answer.”

 

“Yes. God, _yes_ , Quinn,” he answered breathily.

 

Bucky rolled his eyes when she shot him a smug smirk and waggled her eyebrows. “Well, ladies first then,” he drawled. “You think you’re such hot shit, fine. Let’s see you make it so good that he cries because _I’ve_ done it.” He slapped Steve’s ass again. “Hands and knees, captain.”

 

“You’re both bossy assholes.” Steve groused but sure was quick to haul himself up from the mattress so he could assume the position. “Why do I let you two have the time of day, anyway?”

 

She didn’t mind him, instead taunted Bucky with, “You sure do sound jealous. Afraid Steve’s about to be so amazed that he’ll leave you and run away with me?”

 

Quinn leaned her head down and kissed the dip in Steve’s spine, palmed his ass while she did. Eat a person out she could do—very, very well, if she said so herself. Buck had moved himself back up the mattress so he could plant some kisses on Steve’s lips. It was such a sweet picture, those two, so how was she supposed to look away? It was simple, she couldn’t. While she watched them both, she thumbed at his hole, didn’t push inside because he wasn’t slicked up. No slick didn’t seem to sway him because he tried to lean back, push her thumb in him while he kissed Bucky, and she moved her hand away to squeeze a cheek. “You want it bad, huh?”

 

“You did butter me up.” Steve replied when he leaned back from Bucky for a breather. “You can’t promise me shit like that and not keep up on it. C’mon,” he shook his ass like a nice, sweet offer.

 

“Well, when you put it like that…” She ducked down, swiped her tongue against his hole, and tasted him in a whole new way. It was nice, even better when he whimpered. She flattened her tongue, swiped up and down a few more times, and then dipped her tongue past the tight ring of muscle. And something about these kinds of intimate situations sure did inspire her because there was another idea that popped up in her brain and she leaned away to tell Bucky, “Steve sure is mouthy today. You want to fix that?”

 

Eyes half-lidded, Bucky carded a hand through Steve’s hair, ran his thumb across Steve’s bottom lip. “Here I was so sure that I was the brains of this operation.” He licked his lips while he looked down at Steve, but that could be because Steve had started to suckle on the thumb Buck had on his lips. “That’s a plan, doll. _Hell_ of a plan,” he praised. Quinn preened a little before she slithered back down, spread those round cheeks apart, and licked a stripe up from bottom to top.

 

A little bit later, when she’d used her tongue to loosen him up some, she dipped a finger inside him and leaned away so she could watch Steve’s head bob up and down where he had his mouth wrapped around Buck’s cock. Bucky, eyes shut, head thrown back against the headboard, and that pouty lower lip worried between his teeth, had his hand on the back of Steve’s head, a guide to the pace he wanted Steve to suck him off to. Quinn almost wished she had a free hand to shove down her panties, the picture the two of them made lit her up so bad, but it’d end too quick if she did that.

 

So, she pushed another finger inside Steve with her first one, started to scissor him open, and leaned down to lick into him beside her fingers. Steve moaned, the sound muffled with his mouth full, and she couldn’t see him, but she could feel him move quicker than before. Bucky, in turn, groaned. “Jesus, baby, you were made to suck my cock, y’know that? You’re so damn good at it. Shit,” he hissed and she guessed Steve did something amazing with that mouth of his. “Fuck. Oh, fuck, that’s it. Gonna let me fuck your mouth, huh?”

 

Look, _that_ Quinn had to see. To make up for the loss of her tongue so she could lean away and watch them, she pushed her fingers deep, searched for that spot, and… _there_. A shudder rolled through his body and she followed it as far up his back as she could with the hand she’d been using to keep him spread open. God, but he was so damn _gorgeous_ —and that was without the added bonus of being fucked senseless by her and Bucky.

 

Quinn gripped his hip with her free hand, pushed in a third finger beside the first two, and forced him to move back onto her fingers. “Think he was made to get fucked, period,” she drawled. She was, after all, as much a little shit as the two of them and Steve _had_ said that he couldn’t picture her mouth paired with Bucky’s. “Fuck my fingers, sugar. Show me how good at getting fucked you are.”

 

And show her how he liked to be fucked, Steve did. While he rocked back against her fingers, he moaned around Bucky’s dick, tried to take him deeper like Bucky wasn’t already hitting the back of his throat with those thrusts. Before he came, Steve pulled away from Bucky so he could shove his face into the mattress and muffle his shout. The sheets he had clenched in his hands were torn to shreds and, _holy hell_ , that shot up to number one on her list that she probably should’ve named _shit Steve and Bucky do that makes me hotter than hell and I’ll get my rocks off to whenever I’m alone_.

 

***

 

It wasn’t like it’d become all fucks and no romance, of course.

 

Oh, no, there was a whole bunch of romance when it came to Steve and Bucky. Honest, she had no idea—no, okay, well, with Steve, it was a little bit easier to tell how much of a sweetheart he was. It was Buck that no one would take as a romantic, what with all that charm and swagger he had. People assumed a womanizer was what Buck was and that was all there was to him. Sure, she’d learned who the two of them were underneath all the glitz and glamour a while back, but it was different when the three of them were sweet on each other.

 

Case in point, the Commandos took a little…reprieve in Paris—which meant that headquarters hadn’t been in touch with them and they _were_ close, so why not head to the city, huh? Surely it’d be easier to get in touch with the SSR back in London, right? Plus, it’d been a little over a month since the Allies took Paris back from the Krauts, so it was a safe zone. Maybe not safe, per se, but saf _er_. That’s what they’d write in the report, anyhow.

 

With Dernier in the lead, the rest of the fellas headed off on their own for some nice, old-fashioned fun that would probably include booze and-or ladies, but Quinn wanted to see the Eiffel Tower because, “I didn’t come from the richest ah places, y’know. When the hell else am I gonna have the chance to see fuckin’ _Paris_?”

 

Still, she tried to be nice and insisted that some GI’s could escort her instead since a few of them made the Commandos anyway, so they could run off and catch up with the rest of the boys, but what did Bucky tell her? “Me ‘n Steve, we can drink wherever we’re at, but we won’t ever have a chance like this again. You’re right. We’re in Paris and a city like this, we _have_ to take you on a date.”

 

Quinn, with her face redder than an apple, shot back with, “Y’all live in Brooklyn, don’t yah? This isn’t shit compared to that, ain’t it?”

 

“ _Nothin’_ can compare to Brooklyn,” Steve replied and sounded so scandalized that she’d even _think_ there was a place that compared. Bucky elbowed him in the ribs and he finally caught up with the program. “But it _is_ …uh, fancier?” If there was _anything_ Quinn had learned in this war, it was that you can take the boy out of Brooklyn, but you’ll never take Brooklyn out of the boy.

 

 

That was how they ended up at a little café across from the Eiffel _fucking_ Tower with Steve’s shield propped at their feet, their guns and her medical kit in an emptied chair next to their table, and a plate of pastries to share between them. Honest, she didn’t even have much room in her stomach for food, not when she had the Tower there in front of her and the most handsome men on either side of her.

 

It was…beautiful—perfect. Quinn reached out, took one of their hands in each of hers, and didn’t give a shit about whether or not someone would see them. It was so, so selfish, but for once, she didn’t want to care and she wouldn’t. Let someone snap a photo of them. At least she’d have this.

 

Life, for a split second, was perfect.

 

 


	15. The Nasty Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In 2014, Nick Fury will say, "You know, I read those SSR files. Greatest generation? You guys did some nasty stuff."
> 
> Steve Rogers will reply with, "Yeah, we compromised. Sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well. But we did it so the people could be free."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey, there's actual plot in this chapter. These chapters keep getting longer and longer because this is the longest one to date.  
> I should also warn you that this chapter is really, really grim compared to the others. Steve's said that they had to compromise in the war and I wanted to explore that a little. Tough choices had to be made. That's how war is. Quinn, on the other hand, has tunnel vision when it comes to the present and doesn't tend to look at the bigger picture. Also, someone messaged me on Tumblr back after I'd first set it up, and said they hoped Quinn didn't get written down in history as a defect. I said there would be a time where she'd get a better reputation in the eyes of America. This chapter is why.  
> As for content warning, Quinn has a bad dream and gets stuck in it when she wakes up, so she scratches herself until she bleeds a little. I guess that could be considered self-harm. Also, later in the story, a medical surgery is talked about, but there are no bloody details.  
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I hope you don't hate me too much for how horrible it is. Remember that I love you all very, very much! Don't forget to take the [poll](http://www.poll-maker.com/poll302551x175E6Bd8-11) to decide the future of the story. Feel free to hit me up on [Tumblr](http://www.quinnhayden.tumblr.com), by the way!
> 
> **Disclaimer:** Wish I did, but I don't own anything related to Marvel.

Quinn’s back arched and she moaned in pain, the sound muffled because of the leather strap someone had shoved between her teeth. Fire ran in her veins, like someone had taken a trip down to hell, collected a little fire and brimstone, bottled it up, and then shoved it inside her. It crawled and crawled, so, so slow, and it neared her heart—she could feel it. Tears came quicker and she shook her head side to side, tried to plead to the men that hovered over her to end it because it hurt too much and she couldn’t stand it no more. The second it reached her heart, she seized up and _painpainpainpain_ —

 

A scalpel moved across her skin, so cold compared to the heat inside her. Men in white swarmed around her, their makeshift torches in hand, but silent and no one made a move. Above them all, the stars twinkled while a breeze shook the branches of that old, old tree and an emptied noose swung back and forth, back and forth. At the end of the metal table, at her feet, Zola held the scalpel and whispered German she couldn’t understand to the men around him. Someone started to scribble in response to his words.

 

Slow, like a predator, that little bastard started to move around to her side, took the blade with him, and pressed down hard. Blood welled up, trickled down, and with a sadistic smirk, he started to run it up her leg to her knee to the inside of her thigh and she screamed and screamed and screamed some more, until she could taste blood in the back of her throat. While he did it, he whispered over and over, like a man possessed, “ _Bedeutet dies verletzt jede weniger als vorher?_ ”

 

 

Quinn shot up in bed and started to kick at the sheets, tears in her eyes and a scream still stuck in her throat like a heavy stone, and reached down to scratch at her leg like a dog did in the dirt. Christ, it itched so much and if she went at it, stopped it, then maybe she wouldn’t remember it no more—the needle, the knife, the _pain_. So, why wouldn’t it _help_? All that happened was there was more pain and she watched her skin turned pink then red then a darker red then—

 

“Quinn,” someone barked in her ear, wrapped a hand around the wrist she scratched herself with, and she went to use the other, but that one was snatched up the next second, too. Motherfucker, it still _itched_ , and she tried to shove whoever had a hold of her away. “Quinn, _stop_!” the same voice shouted but she _couldn’t stop._ So, she shoved at them harder and when she knew she couldn’t move, she sobbed out loud and ducked her head down.

 

It took her a little bit to come down from the terror before she realized it’d been a dream. She was in Paris, in a bed in some little house that some French resistance people set the Commandos up in out of the niceness of their hearts, and she was with her soul mates. Zola wasn’t there. It was Steve and Buck and her. For now, unless the Germans decided to bomb the shit out of Paris, she was safe with them…

 

… _and_ she looked like a complete jackass to them. Shame smashed down on her, heated her cheeks up, red hot, and she couldn’t even look up at them. They must’ve realized she was done with her fighting because they didn’t hold on as tight, so she pulled her hands away from them and crossed them over her chest. “’M fine,” she mumbled and stared down at her leg. It bled a little now, looked raw and a mess, and wasn’t that _perfect_ , huh? “Gonna…patch this up,” she explained and waved at it before she scurried out of bed. Neither of them said a word, so she walked out the door and closed it behind her as quiet as she could, hoped they would fall back asleep without her. She doubted it, but she could hope, yeah?

 

The whole house was quiet while Quinn walked toward the kitchen…well, other than Dum-Dum whose snores echoed from where he was sprawled out across the couch. For once, she was happy about that noise because it meant she wouldn’t wake up no one if she made some noise of her own while she tried to fix herself up. Because she remembered where she’d dropped it at, she snatched up her pack easy as pie, and when she turned around to drop down in a chair at the table, she went stone cold.

 

Bucky, leaned up in the doorway, didn’t seem to mind her much, but she knew he knew he’d spooked her. Still, he came on into the kitchen, took a seat and moved a chair so it was across from him, then patted it. It made her proud, how calm her voice came out when she said, “I don’t need no help.” Ah, shit. That could’ve been taken a whole bunch of different ways than what she wanted it to, so she added, “I’m the nurse here and I can patch this up fine. Go back to bed. I’ll be back in there, uh…later.” It was a lame finish, but she didn’t know if she’d be able to fall back asleep at this point. If she closed her eyes, she didn’t know what she’d see.

 

“You patch us up. We should return the favor once in a while, right? ‘S only fair.” In a shadowed corner, she wasn’t sure he could see her face, so she stepped back instead and hoped he’d understand what she meant with that. It didn’t piss him off like she sort of hoped it would—because then he’d stomp off and leave her be. No, the air just turned…kind of sad. “Don’t do that, Quinn. Don’t push us back.”

 

“Bastard,” she choked out the next second, blinked back her tears. That was a low, low blow. It’d been a hit below the damned belt. He couldn’t spin shit she’d said to him around on her like that. It wasn’t _fair_. “I…I can’t…” She sucked in a deep breath. “I wanna be alone. Leave me alone.” She pleaded.

 

It didn’t make him happy, but he offered, “I’ll go back to bed after we clean up your leg. I’ll even tell Steve that you’re okay. How’s that sound?”

 

God, she hoped he wouldn’t lie about that because she couldn’t handle Steve, too. He would push and prod until she spilled the beans and she couldn’t…deal with him—not if he looked at her like she was some kind of broken thing. At least…at the very least, Bucky could understand why she didn’t want to talk because he didn’t, either.

 

“Okay.” She conceded and reached inside her med-kit to pick out the alcohol, a little wipe to soak it with, and a bandage, and then dropped her bag back onto the floor. She spread the supplies out on the table next to them, sat down in the chair across from him, and didn’t look at him when he picked her leg up and stretched it out across his knee.

 

Quinn hoped that if she didn’t talk, he wouldn’t either, so that’s what she did. She shut her mouth and the only noises she made were hisses of pain when he wiped down the scratches. It was…hard to sit there and let him do that because Zola cleaned up the blood he shed with alcohol, too. She gripped the edge of her seat, clenched her jaw, and focused on what was different about then and now. Bucky was gentle when he held her down after she started to jerk in pain, rubbed her ankle with his thumb while he cleaned her up, and there was care in his touches. He wasn’t cold or brutal like Zola had been when he wiped her down.

 

“Hate that we have to leave Paris so soon,” he whispered out of the blue. “’S nice to be in a city and not in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. No offense to you ‘n your Hazard,” he teased quietly.

 

She couldn’t even muster up a huff. Maybe that was what’d set her bad dreams off. Headquarters finally reached them and told them about their next mission. There was a factory close to the border of France and Germany where both Zola and Schmidt were spotted. Pictures had even been taken to back it up, they’d said over the radio. So, maybe she was scared to see Zola. She should’ve been more scared to see the infamous Red Skull, but…it was Zola that terrified her.

 

“I’d lose my goddamn mind if he took you or Steve.” She admitted and…yeah, that’s what had her so damn spooked. Zola scared her, but the mission went downhill and Steve or Bucky or, God forbid, both of them were snatched up, she’d die. Swear to God, she’d die. “That can’t happen. I—I can’t—”

 

Jesus, she couldn’t breathe, she was so panicked by the idea, and he leaned forward so he could pull her into him, rubbed her back. It’d come out of nowhere, what she said, but he got it. Thank God, he understood why she was so upset. “Got a hell of a team to back us up,” he tried to sooth. “How’s this different from all the shit we’ve taken on before? Is it only ‘cause you went and had a bad dream?” when he asked it, his voice was quiet and sad, not a bit of sarcasm in it. “You some kinda fortune teller and didn’t tell us ‘bout it?”

 

“This is different.” She knocked her head on his shoulder and huffed. “It—” seemed more final, she wanted to tell him. It seemed more certain than ever before that they’d take on Schmidt and that was nowhere damn near the shrimp soldiers they’d taken on before. “It’s different now.” There was a lot that was different now.

 

Bucky tilted his head to the side, pressed his lips to the scar that ran down her temple. “I’d never let ‘em take Steve. Y’know that,” he paused. “And Steve wouldn’t ever let ‘em take me,” he added, hesitant, like he didn’t want that to be true.

 

“That’s the problem. You’ll both bitch about how y’all won’t let ‘em snatch one or the other and they’ll end up with yah both ‘cause of that.” She sneered and it sounded more like she’d accepted that as the awful truth rather than be pissed at the two of them for that kind of bullshit.

 

“Maybe,” he was reluctant to admit it. “If I swear to God we’ll think about you if it comes down to that, will it make you feel better?” She chewed up her bottom lip while she tried to decide. It didn’t make her feel no better, honest, but she lied and nodded because she was tired and so was he and she wanted to head back to bed. She wouldn’t sleep again, probably, but it wasn’t often that they could sleep in the same bed and she couldn’t pass the chance up. “You’re worse than my Ma, y’know that?”

 

Quinn, who still had her face buried in his shoulder, scowled and bit down into the meat of it, not too hard that it’d bleed, but more to warn him not to tease her. “You’re an asshole,” she said while he squawked in surprise. “Thanks, sugar,” she kissed where she’d bitten then moved up his neck and then kissed the cleft of his chin. “I—” she’d almost said _I love you_. Damn it. Like he needed _that_ on his plate, too. “Thank you,” she repeated with not much else better to say.

 

Bucky stared at her, sharp, with the look she and the fellas had dubbed the _sniper stare_. It unnerved her, to be looked at like that, but he wouldn’t let her move her eyes away. When she tried to cast her eyes down, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and made her look back at him. “I’ll catch that piece of shit. I swear I will.” He vowed. “I can’t kill him, not until after Phillips is done with him, but I sure as hell can make sure to hurt him so bad that he knows he never should’ve messed with my best girl.”

 

From the second she’d known them— _really_ known them—Quinn knew that Steve and Bucky would tear the world apart, burn it all down, to make it back to each other, to take care of each other. There weren’t words to explain how it made her feel to know that she was in on that now. “What’s with the sweet talk, huh? It ain’t like you haven’t been in my pants already.” She tried to kid around with him, but her voice cracked. She leaned forward and touched her forehead to his. “You’re somethin’ else, James Barnes.”

 

“Back at yah, Quinn Hayden,” he huffed then pressed his lips to hers.

 

\---

 

There isn’t a Commando that hadn’t been teased about a bad habit and even their nurse was no exception to that. Quinn had been teased a whole bunch about how she’s able to sleep in any sort of position and in whatever mode of transportation they’re in. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal to her. So what if she can curl up in the back of a truck and catch some sleep? Who cares that she’s fallen asleep with her pack as a pillow in the trenches before? Isn’t it supposed to be good that she can be rested any time of the day? Plus, it wasn’t always like that. Whenever she first started up with the boys, she white-knuckled every plane ride for months, she hated those metal death traps so much. Sure, yeah, she can sleep a whole plane ride now, but…still…

 

Now that she’s allowed up in their personal spaces, it’s a lot easier to sleep when she can use Steve or Buck as pillows. As soon as the truck was on the outskirts of Paris and headed toward the Hydra factory, she leaned her head on Steve’s shoulder and nosed at his arm. Even when Buck helped her settle back down last night, and Steve had wrapped himself around her when they made it back to bed, the bad dream didn’t want to leave her alone, so it made her real damn tired. The best part about that, about her exhaustion, is that there wasn’t likely to be another bad dream when she slept this time.

 

Steve huffed out a laugh, but he’d known her long enough now that he understood the unspoken signal to lift up his arm and wrap it around her shoulders so he could tuck her up against his side. As much as he huffed and puffed about it, he loved to be hugged up on by her and Buck. As for her, it’s nice, real nice, and she sighed in content then nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. This was her fella—a human furnace, a wonderful cushion, and the sex is fantastic, too.

 

Across from her, Jimmy warned “Ride’s bound to get bumpy, ace.”

 

“Does it look like I give a shit about it, _chief_?” She shot back in good nature.

 

“Barnes,” Falsworth laughed. “Don’t tell me her bad habits have rubbed off on you, too.”

 

Quinn tilted her head to the side a little bit to see that Bucky had dropped his head on Steve’s other shoulder, too. It made sense that he’d be tired since he’d kept up with her until she went back to sleep. Eyes still closed, he told them all to, “Fuck off.” Even flipped them the bird as a good measure to get the point across. With a little smile that she shot up at Steve for a second, she pressed her head back into his shoulder and settled down to take her a nap.

 

\---

 

Someone—Steve, she supposed—decided to move her so that she wasn’t pressed up on him no more. A little noise of complaint escaped her throat, but he tucked her up beside someone else, and when she took a breath, it was all Buck, so she relaxed some. The state between awake and asleep is fuzzy, so she hadn’t been all there when the Commandos start to chatter around her. It was quiet, even with their voices, and she realized they whispered to each other rather than their usual loud talk. The truck seemed stalled, too, and there weren’t the bumps that came with the terrain.

 

Well, _shit_ , maybe the fellas did have a reason to tease her about the whole sleep deal because she’d been about to sleep through trouble.

 

Quinn leaned up, away from Buck’s shoulder, and turned to look at her side where Steve was hunched close to the back of the truck, his shield propped up. It made her tense up to see it and she looked back over at Bucky, confused out of her mind. So, he explained, “We’re close to the base.” Damn, she’d been asleep over four hours. “Got stopped by civilians and they won’t let us move on,” he glanced over her shoulder, probably at Steve. “We’re surrounded.”

 

“And we ain’t asked them to move ‘cause…?”

 

Bucky shot her a dirty look. Yeah, okay, it was a stupid question to ask. “Their…spokesperson or whatever yah want to call ‘em is up front with Dum-Dum. I think we’re about to send Dernier out, if they’re amendable to that. They’re armed. Even if it’s with pitchforks and torches,” he muttered under his breath.

 

Yeah, he could talk shit about their choice of weapons as much as he wanted, but when people were desperate, they liked to do dumb shit that ended up with people dead. These people weren’t soldiers, but a mob can turn into a shit-storm as quick as a platoon can.

 

The conversation between Dernier and Gabe, down beside Buck, ended when the Frenchman stood up and started to move past them. Steve must’ve decided he’d cover Dernier, but when the blond moved, one of the people near the back of the truck screeched, “ _Une infirmière!_ ” and all hell broke loose. Well, it wasn’t that bad per se, but there were a whole bunch more people that crowded around the back, cried out in French.

 

“ _Une infirmière?_ ” Dernier and Gabe repeated at the same time and both looked at her.

 

She blinked in surprise at the sudden attention. “What?”

 

Dernier frowned and shooed Steve out of the way so that he could talk to a woman that tried to scramble into the back with them. Dum-Dum appeared—must’ve been done with his chat when everyone swarmed to the back where they were—but the townsfolk didn’t seem to want to let him through.

 

“ _S'il vous plaît, s'il vous plaît, nous avons besoin de son aide._ ” (“Please, please, we need her help.”) Gabe had started to translate for those that didn’t have much in the way of French. Buck wrapped an arm around Quinn, pulled her back toward him, and Steve raised his shield back up while he scooched back toward her and Buck. “ _Ils ont pris nos hommes et le médecin. Nous avons tant de malades. Les gens meurent._ ” (“They took our men and the doctor. We have so many sick. People are dying.”) The woman started to bawl. “ _Nos bébés meurent._ ” (“Our babies are dying.” Then Gabe added, “Christ.”)

 

Yeah, Christ just about explained how fucked up their situation became. These people were desperate to have some medical attention, was all there was to it. Like the woman said, the Hydra factory, which must’ve been close to their town, took their men and all their supplies, no doubt. Hydra tended to raid the little towns near their bases and factories for all they were worth. Most towns cleared out to closer ones, but this one was in the middle of nowhere. Goddamn, they had no place else to go—at least, not with sick and wounded.

 

“Steve,” Quinn whispered and touched his shoulder, made him turn to look at her. “We have to help.”

 

Buck let out a real deep breath behind her. “We’re on the clock here, sweetheart.” Even when he told her that, soft and gentle, it still hit her like a punch to the stomach. “We can stop by and help them when Hydra’s taken care of. For now, we have to move on.”

 

“How much time’s that about to take, huh?” Quinn looked around her, at the other Commandos, and, “Holy _shit_ ,” she whispered when it dawned on her. No. They couldn’t be serious about this, could they? “These people don’t _have_ time.” There wasn’t about to be a discussion about this, hell no. They wouldn’t _leave_ this town behind. “You _heard_ her or am I the only one? They have kids that need help— _babies_. Y’all want a baby’s blood on your hands? I sure as shit don’t.”

 

Steve looked like he was about to throw up, it pained him so much to debate this. “You heard Bucky, Quinn. We’ll stop by and help them as much as we can after we’ve captured Schmidt and Zola.” God… _God_ , even _Steve_ was in on this. No doubt about it, some hard decisions had to be made in war, but this shouldn’t have been one of them. “If we stayed now, Hydra would know we were comin’ and they’d run, or worse, come here and ambush us. The town will be worse off then.”

 

Well, damn.

 

_Damn_.

 

So, that’s how it was about to be, huh?

 

“This’ll save lives in the long run.” Jimmy reminded her.

 

Quinn huffed a little and stood to her feet, turned so that she looked Steve and Bucky in the eyes, made sure they saw how betrayed she felt inside. She knew they wouldn’t be on her side all the time because they were their own people after all, but…how could they decide to do this? “I can’t believe this shit.” And whenever she felt hurt, she made sure to do that to the people who caused it. “Actually, y’know what? I can believe it because you’re all a bunch of soldiers. Me? I’m a nurse. I ain’t about to let Zola or Schmidt kill more people. I _won’t_ let this town die ‘cause of those bastards.” Her lips curled up into a sneer. “That’s what I thought your jobs were supposed to be, yeah? Make sure Hydra don’t hurt people?”

 

When Steve winced, it was with his whole body, and he even curled in on himself a little, stared down at his feet, and didn’t speak a word in his defense. That was how she knew that he knew this was a horrible call, but he still wouldn’t stall the mission until the town was helped.

 

Bucky, on the other hand, with his temper as bad as hers, didn’t take to the guilt she started to throw at them all and moved on the offensive. “Our _job_ is to make sure we win the goddamn war against Hydra. What’ll happen if they get away, huh? We stay here, they run off, and more people die. We stay here right now, we’ll lose more people than we save in the long run.”

 

“That’s not _my_ job, sergeant.” She snapped and reached down to pick up her med-kit. She wasn’t proud that she felt a little satisfied when Bucky cringed.

 

Like her, though, he bit back when someone snapped at him, so he snarled, “Goddamn it, Quinn. You don’t ever think about the big picture, do yah? Our mission—”

 

Mission, mission, _mission_ —Christ, that pissed her off more. “I’m a nurse above everything else and I’ll be a nurse above a soldier any goddamn day.” This was how they wanted to play it? Fine. Quinn stormed past them all, didn’t even look a one of them in the eye until she hopped out of the back of the truck, onto the ground, and looked over her shoulder at them with a scowl. “Go on. Go win your war. You have Jimmy with you. He can be your medic on this one. You can come back for me when you’re done.”

 

And that was that. The conversation with them was done. Steve tried to talk to her, but she didn’t listen to a word he said. It was mean and it’d hurt him, but she wanted that a little right now. Quinn turned to face the poor townspeople and asked, “Anyone speak some English?” A pregnant woman, who looked ready to pop, held her hand up, stepped forward, and Quinn nodded. “Good. Find me someplace to work.”

 

Quinn didn’t even look back to watch the Commandos leave.

 

\---

 

The woman that’d become her translator was Simone and she was a week past her due date which made Quinn real damn nervous because she helped stitch up soldiers—she _didn’t_ deliver babies. Simone, bless her, didn’t look all too worried about it, and showed Quinn around the church where all the women, children, and men either too old or too sick to be useful to Hydra hid out. A lot of their town had been blown to hell, shot up, and it was sad that it didn’t come as a surprise to her. Hydra didn’t care whose lives they shit on, but she didn’t think any crazy cult cared about that sort of stuff.

 

Most of their sickness turned out to be dysentery from what she could tell which was bound to happen when the water supply was fucked up. As the nurse of Captain America, she had perks, which was a damn fine med-kit that normal medics on the frontlines didn’t have unless they were a high ranking officer. So, she had pills to help with the diarrhea that came with dysentery. A bunch were dehydrated, though, so she had some of the healthier people run to fetch some water. She had matches so they could boil the water, but for the people that couldn’t wait, she had some tablets to purify the water. Rest and water was about the best that could be done for them.

 

When Hydra ransacked the place, there were a whole bunch of burns and cuts that came as a result, and thank God she had plenty of bandages and iodine to disinfect them all. There were some broken bones here and there that she managed to splint with some spare wood that laid around their town. No one’s wounds seemed to look like they were infected which was a goddamn miracle, what with the squalor they lived in now.

 

So, of course, because she had the shittiest luck, someone _did_ turn out to have an infection. The woman who’d pleaded with Dernier, who’d actually stopped their truck, named Claudia, had a baby girl who’d been hit by some shrapnel. From what Simone told Quinn, they’d picked it out of her leg, but little Adele got sick and just got sicker and sicker as time went on. Quinn didn’t even need to see Adele to know that it was an infection, but it was worse than she ever thought when she lifted off the makeshift wrap they put around her leg and saw how festered it’d become.

 

Quinn had them take her into a house near the church because she knew what needed to be done and no one wanted to hear those kinds of sounds. It’d make their spirits even worse. Quinn took a deep breath and then looked up at Simone and Claudia. “The leg has to come off.” There was no two ways around that.

 

Simone relayed the information and Claudia burst out into tears again, but asked, “You can do this?” which Simone translated to English for her.

 

“I…haven’t done it before.” She admitted, _but_ , “I’ve watched doctors do it before. I’ve helped them out the whole time and I tended to the soldiers once it was done.” It wasn’t nowhere near the same as actually doing the surgery, though. What was worse was that Adele was a _child_. Still, it wasn’t like they had any other options at that point. It was amputation or let her die from the infection.

 

Claudia processed the information. “Can she die?” Simone interpreted.

 

“Yeah,” she had to be sure that Claudia knew the risks. It was only right. Plus, she was sure that Claudia knew the answer, anyway, but what she really wanted to hear was, “Yeah, she could, but she _will_ die from the infection if we sit around and don’t do nothing. My medicine can’t help her now.”

 

That _had_ apparently been what Claudia needed to hear. Tears in her eyes, she nodded at Quinn and said, “ _Oui, oui_.”

 

Quinn rubbed her forehead and tried to hold back her own tears. “I’ll—” she took a deep breath. This was no time to break down into tears. Adele wouldn’t last if Quinn didn’t get her ass into gear. “Is there anyone left that knows—” she rubbed the back of her neck, searched her brain for anything to help her here. “Do you have anyone that’s a…a midwife? Maybe?” their doctor wasn’t here, but from what Ma told her, women liked midwives better in less modern towns and it couldn’t have been much different here, right? Quinn needed help and she needed a person that didn’t have a queasy stomach.

 

Simone understood and answered, “Miriam,” with a nod.

 

Quinn let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d sucked in. “Okay. Can you…ask her if she can help? She doesn’t have to, but…it’d be easier.” She eyed Claudia then looked back at Simone. “I don’t think it’d be best for her to stay here. It’ll make it worse on her. Have her help out at the church, yeah?”

 

“Yes, yes,” Simone replied and, after a second, said with unshed tears in her eyes, “Thank you.”

 

\---

 

Miriam, as it turned out, was Jewish. By the sheer grace of God—and women who she’d help with their babies—the Germans hadn’t found out about her and her husband. Quinn knew that if they _had_ been found by Hydra, they would’ve been killed because Hydra would think they were too old to be useful. Schmidt believed in a superior race of men, same as Hitler—even if his so-called superior race needed to be enhanced by a serum—and he and his followers didn’t think Jewish people would ever fit the bill. It made her both sick to her stomach and want to punch someone until they were a mess of blood and broken bones and she really preferred said person to be a Nazi.

 

Hate would never ever make sense to Quinn. People seemed to hate others over the littlest shit—color of their skin, a love for someone that had the same parts as you, a love for someone that didn’t have the same skin color as you, a love for more than one person, a different kind of belief when it came to Jesus…

 

Miriam seemed to understand what Quinn wanted her to do. It helped a little that Quinn knew some basic words and phrases she’d learned from Momma DuPont who’d been raised up in Louisiana and was Cajun. It wasn’t much, but it did okay. Really, all Quinn wanted Miriam to do was make sure to shoot Adele with morphine if she ever looked like she was about to wake up in pain. Quinn really didn’t want a nine-year-old to wake up in the middle of having her leg cut off.

 

So, they started, and she almost broke down twice in the middle of it. There’d been so much _blood_ and she had no idea how she’d ever be able to tell Claudia that Adele didn’t make it. How could she watch a woman mourn over a child Quinn couldn’t save? When a soldier died underneath her hands, at least she didn’t have to be there to watch his loved ones hear the news, and she was happy for that and that thought would probably give her a one-way ticket to hell.

 

It didn’t matter, in the end, because Adele was a survivor. There’d been men twice Quinn’s size who hadn’t survived an amputation before, but this little girl did. At nine goddamn years old, her heart kept on throughout it all. It wasn’t like they were out of the clear yet since her fever still hadn’t broken yet, but she’d lasted with it this long, not to mention the blood loss from the surgery. Call her naïve, but Quinn had faith in Adele.

 

Before Claudia was let back in, Quinn wrapped the amputated limb up in a spare shirt and took it out back. After she collected some spare wood that some of the men in town must’ve cut before they were hauled away, she lit it up, and then shoved the leg in the center when the flames seemed strong enough. Before the smell could really hit her, Quinn darted back inside. There was only so much she could stand in a day.

 

Miriam must’ve called for Claudia because the woman was there already, hunched over Adele, and she sobbed and sobbed, but those were relieved tears, she could tell. Ma had cried the same when Quinn woke up in the hospital after she’d been beat near to death. Claudia also did the same that Ma had done when the doctor came into the room—she launched herself at Quinn and wrapped her in her arms so hard that Quinn couldn’t breathe.

 

“ _Merci. Merci beaucoup. Merci à Dieu pour nous envoyer un de ses anges._ ” Claudia cried out. She went weak in the knees, she was so relieved, and took Quinn down with her. “ _Tu es un ange. Merci Dieu pour amener cet ange à moi._ ” She kissed at Quinn’s cheeks, her nose, her forehead, over and over as thanks.

 

Quinn hadn’t ever had someone so…emotional on account of what she’d done. It made her feel a little lost. When she looked up at Miriam, confused and a little desperate for help, all the elderly woman did was smile and dab away at Adele’s sweaty forehead.

 

\---

 

Jinxed herself, that’s what she went and did when she hoped Simone would last until the Commandos were back and she could call in some actual official help for the town. The second Claudia let Quinn out of her arms, she and Miriam went back to the church, and some frantic people near about shoved them into a back room where Simone stood in a pool of water at her feet, officially in labor.

 

“Aw, _shit_ ,” Quinn cursed under her breath.

 

Beside her, Miriam started to bark orders to the couple of women that surrounded Simone. Like the smart person she was, Quinn remembered suddenly that, yeah, Miriam was a _midwife_. That’d been why she asked for Miriam in the first place. Since the other woman must’ve noticed that Quinn didn’t have much experience with this sort of medical knowhow, it seemed like Quinn was about to be the backup on this one and…she was fine with that. She was very, _very_ fine with backup duty. While the other ladies hustled and bustled to snatch up what little they could find that would be needed, Miriam talked to Simone while she looked over her shoulder at Quinn.

 

Simone, through gritted teeth, translated, “Can we use your tools?”

 

Tools? “Oh!” Jesus, she could be an idiot sometimes. They meant her med-kit. “Yeah, yeah,” she nodded and jutted a thumb toward the door that led outside. “It’s still with Adele.” As she started to back up toward that door, she took a second to think then asked, “Does she need any other stuff from over there?” Simone murmured with Miriam, turned back to Quinn, and shook her head. “Okay. I’ll be back real quick. Remember to breathe,” she reminded and Simone scowled and the look on her face was universal, said loud and clear, _no shit_.

 

Foot successfully shoved in her mouth, Quinn ducked outside and darted over next door to the house. Claudia had Adele settled in a bedroom and came out to see the nurse when they both heard the roar of the trucks. The thought didn’t last, but for a minute there, she assumed the Commandos were back and had some released prisoners set up in another truck—it happened sometimes. She did her best to look out the window and when she did, her heart seized up in her chest because those were _Hydra_ trucks. There wasn’t a clean one to hint that it was the Commandos who’d happened to steal a truck or two from the Germans.

 

Did that mean…did the Commandos…?

 

God, she couldn’t help it. Quinn tore open her leather coat then and there, rucked up her shirt so she could look at her marks. Claudia made a little noise, but she didn’t care, she needed to make sure they were at least still alive. While she traced a hand over each name, the tightness in her chest eased up a little, because her marks were as black as ever. There wasn’t a thing to hint that one of them were hurt so bad that there was a risk of death. Still, a healthy mark didn’t mean they hadn’t been captured…

 

No. No, Bucky swore they’d be smarter when it came to that self-sacrifice shit. She had to believe he did right by her, even if he still could’ve been pissed off by how they left off. So, maybe these were runners? Hydra officers liked to run with tails between their legs whenever it looked like a losing battle. They were cowards like that—wouldn’t stick by their men until the end.

 

_Fuck_ , they’d stopped their trucks. It was a little ways down, sure, but they’d move closer. Some of the soldiers started to swarm into the houses—either for supplies or for potential workers or women to…to use. There were men out there who did that in war. Hell, there were men who did that when there wasn’t a war on. The town and its people couldn’t handle another ransack and Hydra was mad as hell, no doubt about that. Even if they didn’t spot Quinn, who bore the patch of the fella who’d taken their base down, with the townspeople, they could still kill them all out of spite to make the Commandos feel like they’d had a loss instead of a win.

 

Quinn shoved Claudia back into the room, pressed a finger to her lips to shush her, closed the door behind her, and then snuck over to that room in the back of the church where Simone, Miriam, and the other ladies were all huddled up. No one must’ve been able to hear the trucks, what with how Simone moaned and shouted in pain, so Quinn darted over and pressed a hand to Simone’s mouth. Some of the ladies looked offended, but Miriam snapped at them in French and turned to look at Quinn.

 

“Germans are here,” she made sure to hold a hand up to silence their panicked cries. “We have to be quiet. Tell one of these gals to run in there and make sure everyone is quiet, okay?” A mother whose son she’d patched up darted out into the main room of the church after Simone relayed the order.

 

The ladies left in the room looked at her, scared out of their minds, but waited for more orders that Quinn didn’t have “Shit,” she snarled more at herself than anyone else. “ _Shit_ ,” she repeated, a little more desperate than before, because there was no way out of this. The Germans would take Quinn— _again_ —when they saw her uniform. They’d probably take her to Zola, but before that could settle in with her, she realized these poor people would die, all because Quinn had been with them.

 

But…

 

Well, Quinn _did_ have a pistol on her—in her med-kit, actually. Pegs made her start to carry it once Quinn had enough practice in and could do pretty good with it since a shotgun was starting to get annoying to lug around all the time. If she shot off some rounds at them, ran when they spotted her, maybe… _maybe_ they’d be so focused on her that they wouldn’t search the town. A Hydra goon brings Captain America’s nurse back home and they’re bound to be forgiven for a lost base, right?

 

Damn it, this was about to make her a hypocrite. Here she’d made Buck swear not to do stupid shit that’d end up with him captured and she was about to do that exact thing. If she made it out of this alive, Steve and Bucky would _kill_ her.

 

“I’ll try to distract ‘em,” Quinn announced. “Keep quiet and hopefully they’ll drive past and never even notice you’re here.” Simone snatched her wrist and started to protest, but Quinn made a point to look over at Miriam who would have it so much worse if the Germans found her and her husband, and then she peered down at Simone’s swollen belly to pile on the evidence that this _had_ to be done. “There’s no other way.” The quiet tears Simone started to break down into said that she got it—that it could either be one who died or they all die period.

 

As much as she ran her mouth about how she wasn’t like the Commandos, when it came down to it, she was. Quinn was on their team and that meant she protected people, no matter how scared she was, and she _was_ , goddamn it, but what else was there to do? Sure, some of the men could take up arms with her, but the sick and old wouldn’t last out there that long, would they? She’d been trained by the SSR’s best and had been with the fellas in the middle of battle. She…she had to do this and there didn’t seem to be no other way around that.

 

It took her a minute or two, but Quinn steeled herself. She pulled the pistol from her pack, stood to her feet, squared her chin, and then walked out the door into the little space between the church and the house. She snuck around to the back of the church because it’d be best to keep the action as far away from the townspeople as she possibly could. It wouldn’t be smart to shoot off some rounds next to the places she wanted to keep the Germans away from.

 

When she was further down, away from the church, she plastered herself to a wall so she could suck in some deep, deep breaths. “You can do this, Hayden.” She whispered and clicked off the safety of her handgun. “You _have_ to do this.” She corrected.

 

Quinn poked her head out to see how much further the Germans had come and she made a noise in the back of her throat. They were so close to where everyone was hidden out. She didn’t even think when she darted out into the middle of the street, aimed at the Nazi closest to the church, and fired. If she’d been closer, it could’ve been a better shot, but instead it hit the man in the leg and he dropped with a shout. German soldiers trampled out from the houses or out of the back of their trucks and she started to fire at as many as she could. It was mostly for show, to catch their attention, and when her clip was empty, she turned and ran.

 

It was the fastest Quinn had ever run in her life. As she ran, the houses and buildings turned into blurs. And, for a quick second, she realized that with how quick she was moving—faster than she’d ever hoped to have been before—she hadn’t even broken a sweat.

 

The crack of a weapon being fired echoed throughout the town before pain exploded in her right shoulder blade and it’d been enough to make her stumble. When there was a second crack, she tried to scramble to the side, out of the bullet’s way, but it pierced the space in her lower left side, right above her hip.

 

Quinn went down into the dirt in a heap of pain and blood.


	16. Bravery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's real hard to be brave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S H I T. I am so, SO sorry that this chapter took so long. I'd been about halfway done with the chapter, but didn't like how it went so I deleted it and started over. Also, school recently started and it's my last semester, so I didn't have much time to write then either. And.......I may or may not have bought two new video games that I've spent a lot of my time with when I'm not doing homework or am at my job. Oops?  
> Anyway! I'm also sorry if I freaked some of you out, but no, Quinn isn't dead or isn't about to die! It's a close call, though. >:]  
> I hope this isn't too shitty a chapter. I had a lot of trouble with this one. I hope you can breathe a sigh of relief after this one.  
> I love you guys! <3

For a second there, Quinn had almost reached out to snatch up her pistol when she heard the shouts in German move closer and closer to where she was sprawled out in the dirt, but then she remembered there were no bullets inside. Damn it, she shouldn't have wasted her ammo like that, but…it hadn't been like she _planned_ to be shot. _Fuck_ , she needed to stand up and she needed to do it quick. So, she sucked in a deep breath, braced herself for the pain that’d come when she moved with her wounds, and made it onto her hands and knees. It wasn’t the time to stop and take a break, so she hauled up to her knees, but before she could stumble to her feet, the Germans surrounded her.

 

Soldiers shoved the barrels of their weapons in front of her face and shouted orders which she didn’t need to know German to understand, so she put up her hands to show she wasn’t armed. She wondered whether or not she should take the chance and make a run for it because…capture seemed out of the question. Quinn had some real valuable shit in her head that Schmidt would love to hear and that wasn’t no boast. And since she would never ever let them have what they wanted out of her, she’d be sent to Zola, no doubt.

 

How bad would it be this time around when he had her on his table, huh? She wasn’t some nameless nurse no more. Hydra, they _knew_ her. Zola would poke and prod and make her bleed until she squealed and the bastard wouldn’t even let her die. It wasn’t like they’d be able to afford to let that happen because, even if she didn’t squeal, she sure as fuck would be a real valuable person to hold captive and, plus, Zola and Schmidt seemed like the kind of asshole that wouldn’t let her have that.

 

Quinn was without a _doubt_ , one-hundred percent **fucked**.

 

Someone stepped up behind her and put their hand on her shoulder then squeezed, but their thumb moved into her bullet wound. Pain, white-hot and terrible, shot across her whole body and she ducked her head so no one would see it when she bit down on her lip to keep the scream down. She didn’t let him have what he wanted, but she couldn’t quite hold back the whimper. Whoever it was heard and he chuckled, stepped around with his hand still on her shoulder, and towered over her. She’d learned how to spot ranks—even from other nations—and shot the Hydra lieutenant the dirtiest look she could pull.

 

“What’s this?” He purred in his thick German accent. “A sheep left to the wolves, yes?” When he reached out to tap the patch that, in her—and this asshole’s too, apparently—mind, marked her as Steve’s, she tried to bite him, but he kept a firm hold of her so she couldn’t lean it to do it. “You should haven’t strayed from the flock, little lamb.”

 

Quinn tilted her head up and squared her chin. “You think I’m scared ah you? I ain’t.”

 

The lieutenant smiled a smile of men who took pleasure in hurt and crouched down so he could look her in the eyes when he said, “I won’t let the Captain have this battle. Do you understand that? I’ll let my men fuck you and split you open and make you bleed and I’ll let _Herr_ Schmidt have you then.” He then tore the patch clear off her jacket and stared down at it in his hand. “Oh, I wish I could leave you on the road like the piece of trash you are, ruined forever for your men to find, but…I can handle to see you become Hydra’s whore.”

 

“Go ahead and take a shot at it, asshole. It’ll make shit that much worse for you when the Commandos find me.” Brave words for someone that’d been scared shitless by what he’d told her. She couldn’t handle this a second time. She’d die before she let it happen to her again. “Make it easier on you and your men, yeah? Leave me here and run while yah can. Actually, let me kill all y’all now. I’ll make it quick because the boys sure as hell won’t when they see what you’ve done.”

 

“I’m not scared of you, little lamb, and I’m certainly not scared of your flock.” He leaned back up, looked at his men, and while he waved toward her, commanded them to, “Pack this up.” He dropped her patch into the dirt, in her blood, and then stomped on it for some kind of extra measure. “Let’s show them what we’ve taken.”

 

“For someone that had his ass handed to him, you sure do bark loud. You all bark and no bite, honey?” Now _that_ seemed to hit a nerve with him because he backhanded her so hard it busted open her lip. She licked the little bit of blood away and smirked up at him, pleased that she’d pissed him off. “Too soon?” she asked innocently.

 

“Take her.” The lieutenant barked and stormed past her, toward their trucks, and let the soldiers swarm her.

 

\---

 

 

Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit._

Quinn really, really, _really_ wished that she could reach back and at least put a little pressure on the place she’d been shot down above her hip since that one had to be the worst of her two bullet wounds, but handcuffs stood in her way of that. A person didn’t need to be a doctor or a nurse to know that the more time someone who’d been shot went with their wound untended to and allowed to bleed, the more likely that person would be to kick the bucket. Surely to God a bunch of Nazis would know that, too, but not these men apparently.

 

So, ever so politely, she explained to them, through gritted teeth, “I need a doctor.” The two Hydra soldiers that were on each side of her didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even turn to look at her, so she repeated louder, eyes set dead on the lieutenant that wouldn’t look at her either, “I need a _doctor_ , you stupid sons of bitches. I won’t be no use to y’all if I’m _dead_. I’m bleedin’ out here.”

 

Still, no one made a move to help her, and she knocked her head back on the metal behind her, stared up at the tarp that covered the back of the truck. She clenched her jaw and tried not to moan in pain like she wanted to. The ache had started to spread out from the two wounds and moved across her whole body now. It didn’t help that she’d started to shiver too, since the constant movement bothered her injuries. It was so cold. It hadn’t been so damn cold earlier, had it? Maybe she’d been so hopped up with all the excitement that she hadn’t paid much attention to the air?

 

“ _Halten Sie hier an_.” The lieutenant spoke up, loud, and one of the soldiers next to her slammed his fist on the metal behind them to catch the driver’s attention, she supposed. The truck started to slow down on the road and, like a predator, his eyes started to move over to her. “ _Wir werden sie im Auftrag von Rang haben._ ” The other soldiers, even the ones beside her, had a mixed reaction to whatever he said—some shouted and some seemed to complain—but what was unanimous was their attention on _her_. “Thank you for your contribution to help boost our morale, _Fräulein_.”

 

No. No, no, no, no, **no** —it wasn’t supposed to happen so soon. She needed more time to come up with a plan. Fuck, okay, she needed to buy some more time. God help her, but she’d rather be on the road and away from the Commandos than stop and be…to—to have them do _that_ to her. “They’ll be here soon.” She shouted while the men started to rise to their feet. “If I was you, I’d sit back down and drive until you can catch a plane or some shit ‘cause they’ll find me. Swear to God, they will and—”

 

The lieutenant let the other men walk past him and clamber outside so that the only people left in the back of the truck were her, him, and his topmost lackey who was a second lieutenant whereas the other was first and at a higher rank. Second Lieutenant talked with First and he looked more worried than either the First or the rest of the men did and thank Christ, at least one of these people was smart. If he could talk some sense into his commanding officer then she would have a better chance to survive this shit-show.

 

First Lieutenant sneered at whatever Second said and snapped, “ _Nein_.”

 

_Goddamn_ it. “Come near me and I’ll rip your dick off. You hear me?” She shouted and scooted to the side when First Lieutenant started to stalk toward her. Second Lieutenant shook his head, but didn’t even look the least bit sorry for her, more like he was pissed the other man wouldn’t take his advice, and headed outside with the rest of their men. “Stay _away_!” She screamed and kicked at him when he was too damn close.

 

He snarled some German under his breath and lashed out to snatch up a fistful of her hair. She tried to ram her knee up into his dick, but he used his grip on her to slam her head back onto the hard metal. She yelped in pain and suddenly went a little confused and whole lot of dizzy. He took the chance to haul her to her feet and she almost tripped over her feet if he still didn’t have his hold on her arm and her hair.

 

When the two of them were in open view of the men, the lieutenant shook his hand and, in turn, her head, while he asked, “ _Wir sollten diesen Schatz von Amerika zu ruinieren, ja?_ ” The little platoon cheered at whatever he said and this shit didn’t help make her headache any better that was for sure. Jesus, they sounded like the soldiers who wouldn’t shut up when they saw those USO chorus ladies.

 

Quinn tried to squirm away from him, but he laughed at her attempts to escape before he shoved her out of the back of the truck and into the dirt at his men’s feet. Pain—so…much… **pain**. It hurt. It _hurt_. The world started to blur, the lines between the past and present fuzzed up now, and she curled up there in the dirt into a little ball, like maybe she could make herself so small they couldn’t see her no more. But they found her. Whoever these men were, the Klan or some Nazis, they found her because that’s what would always happen. They hauled her to her feet and she couldn’t help it now, how there were tears in her eyes.

 

Her eyes roamed around the forest. The _woods_. These trees would be the last she’d ever see because she knew she wouldn’t survive. In a house buried deep in the woods had been where she was born and a random forest in France would be where she died—no. No. She couldn’t quit now. She needed to keep on so she could see Ma and Pa and Liam, so she could introduce them to Steve and Buck. She needed to…she needed to…

 

Down the dirt road, another Hydra truck came to a stop. There were confused sounds from the soldiers around her, so that truck mustn’t’ve been expected to show up. It was real far away, but when she squinted, she could see past the windshield. It wasn’t a clear view, mind you, but she’d know those patriotic colors anywhere.

 

Son of a bitch…they showed up. They _came_ for her.

 

Somehow, none of the Germans seemed to realize that the other truck had the Commandos inside. Well, Pa had always told her she had a sharp eye. Unfortunately, First Lieutenant wasn’t _too_ dumb, and he wasn’t about to up and let the other truck not be checked out, so he barked out some orders and the soldiers jumped to attention while he, himself, leaned down to collect her from the dirt. All she needed was a little bit more time, so when stumbled to her feet, she spat at him in his stupid fucking face.

 

Not the best decision on her end because he backhanded her across the face so hard that she dropped back down into the dirt. Actually, no, that’d been a real fantastic decision because, hey, that meant it’d be a whole lot worse on him when her boys showed up. Maybe it was the smug smirk on her face, but First Lieutenant must’ve realized how fucked his and his men’s situation had just become. He screamed orders, took out his pistol, and started to haul her toward the tree line once he had her back up on her feet.

 

Quinn wasn’t about to let him take her that easy, so she kicked and tried to wrestle her way out of his hold on her, even when her whole body wanted to shut down. He held onto her harder and, after a minute or two when he understood that she wouldn’t keep still, he had to tuck his pistol away and wrap his arms around her so he could drag her through the forest better. When she tried to use some of those moves Pegs taught her to break free of holds like the one he had on her, he kicked at the back of her knees so they buckled. Now, he dragged her and she didn’t have the footing to fight back against it, so she did the next best thing and screamed so loud that it had to have echoed across the forest.

 

What else echoed across the whole forest was a whole bunch of gunfire and Quinn couldn’t hold back the hysterical laugh. “What’d I tell you, huh?” He jerked her hard like that’d shut her up, but it didn’t do a damn thing to stop a mouth like hers. “You best put a bullet in your head right now ‘cause they’ll do a whole lot worse when they find me.” He snarled some German under his breath and she grinned wildly. “You have nowhere to go.”

 

All of a sudden, he just…stopped—stopped in front of a tree that towered over them, too much like the one back in Hazard. “Yes…yes, you’re right, _Fräulein_.” He agreed slowly and the way he said it sent a shiver up her spine, wiped the grin right off her face. “I must make my last stand here. But,” he turned around so his back was to the tree and shoved her back to his chest. “If I die here, I won’t be alone.” When he whipped his pistol back out and pressed it to her temple, her heart kicked into overdrive and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

 

Maybe she _would_ die here, after all. When a man was committed to an ideal, he’d do the craziest shit—like taking out someone he knew was close to one of his most hated enemies—and she tried not to cry because if she was about to die, she wouldn’t leave the world as a coward. She’d squeezed her eyes shut, but a minute of silence passed and she opened them. Why…hadn’t he shot her yet? If he really wanted to take her with him, he’d have done it already, wouldn’t he? But he’d proved before that he liked to talk himself up as more than what he actually was, so maybe it was a bluff?

 

As soon as Steve and Bucky came into view, her body couldn’t help but relax. Goddamn instinct is what that was because she always felt so much safer with them around. What else also happened the second they made it to her was that the safety of the gun at her head clicked and she tensed right back up.

 

“Don’t take another step.” First Lieutenant warned when Steve, with his shield held up, started to walk toward him and her. Buck, face and eyes stone cold, held his position and kept his rifle aimed at them, waited for the exact second she moved and let him have a clear shot. “I’ll put a bullet in her pretty little head. I’m not afraid to blow your whore’s brains out.”

 

Steve stopped and stared her captor down with the worst expression she’d ever seen on his face before. She swore she’d seen him as mad as he could, but that was shit compared to now. He shook a little bit, he was so damn pissed. Buck, on the other hand, did move the tiniest bit—moved his finger over the trigger. And if Steve, with all his heat, was fire then Bucky was ice because the way he looked at the man behind Quinn made her shiver, it was so cold and hard and mean.

 

“Don’t make this any harder on yourself.” Steve spoke up. “Let her go.”

 

“I do that and you kill me.” First shot back.

 

Steve smiled wryly. “If you cooperate, we won’t make it as slow and painful as possible.”

 

“Then I think I’ll keep her here.” His hand slithered up and moved around her throat. He didn’t squeeze, used it more as a scare tactic for the three of them. “I had hoped, you know, that my men and I would have more time to test her. I wanted so badly to split her open. She talks so much. I would have loved to hear her scream instead.” She tried so hard to move her hands so she could break the handcuffs, so she would be able to run _away from this fucker_. She was scared—so, so terrified of what he’d do to her if she didn’t get away soon. “I can settle, if you’re interested, _ja_? There are always sluts to fuck. What I don’t have is _you_ , Captain. _Herr_ Schmidt would love to have America’s greatest treasure as his prisoner. We can trade. You for her.”

 

“Fine.” Steve answered and didn’t even spend a second to ponder it over and Quinn’s heart seized up in her chest. He couldn’t be serious. God help her, he _couldn’t_ be. The shit that Hydra would do to him, what _Zola_ would do to snatch up that super soldier serum…she couldn’t even stand to think about it. How could he do this? _How_? He couldn’t be that damn dumb, could he?

 

“Steve,” Buck warned and that’d been the first time she heard him spoke since before their mission went all fucked up and screwy.

 

It was in the way he said Steve’s name that she could hear what both she and Bucky had in their heads at that exact second— _you’re too important_ and _we won’t let you walk away into their arms._ Compared to the two of them, Steve had went relatively untouched by the war and neither Bucky nor Quinn would let him leap onto Zola’s table—she would _die_ before she let that happen. Quinn would die before she let either Steve _or_ Bucky be taken away from her. No, she couldn’t lose them, not when she’d just gotten them.

 

Steve—to honorable for his own damn good—didn’t even mind Buck a lick of attention. He let his shield drop to the ground and the resulting sound echoed in the silence. When Steve started to inch toward them, Bucky finally made a move to catch Steve by the arm. “Steve,” he paused and his eyes slid over to her, expressed every kind of sorry that he could with them while he said, “You can’t do this.”

 

“Steve,” she croaked and winced a little when the hand around her throat squeezed. “Don’t do this. Leave me here. You understand?”

 

“No, Quinn,” he replied and turned to look back at her. “I won’t leave you behind.”

 

God help her, he meant that.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the pistol lower a little, and that could’ve been because the Nazi had his attention on Steve rather than her. Fine. Okay. If Steve would be an idiot then so would she. She wouldn’t let Steve walk away on account of her.

 

With more speed than she ever think she’d be capable of, Quinn threw her cuffed hands up into the arm the man used to hold his pistol. The sudden movement made him fire off a round, but it was pointed up in the air rather than at her head. His other hand did squeeze around her neck more, but she threw herself back into his chest so that, in turn, he was sent back against the tree. It stunned him enough to where she could spin around in his arms, grab his chin, and then slam his head against the bark.

 

Quinn put her all into it and slammed his head back one, two, three, four more times. Each time, she became more and more desperate, poured all the terror that he made her feel into it, and when she couldn’t feel any more resistance in him, she stumbled back. Blood stained the bark after he slumped down into the dirt and…was that…was that chunks of his—

 

It looked like the one who’d ended up with their brain splattered had been him. She’d been the one who done it. She’d killed a man. Oh _fuck_. Oh shit, she didn’t feel so swell. A noise escaped the back of her throat and her knees buckled out from underneath her. The world had went and tilted to the side on her and…the…dirt wasn’t supposed to be warm like that, was it?

 

“Quinn?” She didn’t understand anymore. She was confused. “Jesus fuck, she’s _cold_.” Yeah. Yeah, that was true. She _was_ cold…but her cheeks weren’t no more. Hands were on her cheeks—two sets of hands moved back and forth to touch her cheeks then her shoulders then her upper arms. “Quinn, baby, c’mon, work with us here and open your eyes.” She had them closed? “Wake up. Look at me. **Please**.”

 

The sudden shout startled her so much that her whole body twitched and her eyes flew open to look around wildly. Steve and Buck, they were there. They had their hands on her. It hadn’t really been that long since they’d last touched her, but it felt like it’d been forever and a day. “Oh fuck, Quinn. You want to scare us to death, huh?” Buck asked and she didn’t even care that he was mad. She had them back and they had their hands on her and they were warm and she was real, real…sleepy…“Hey, no,” he snarled and she had to force her eyes open a second time with a whine. “You have to stay awake for us. Got that, baby doll?”

 

“Do I have t’?” She slurred and sucked in a sharp breath when the ground dropped out from under her. Oh. Steve had scooped her up in his arms. Jeez, if they really wanted her to stay awake, it wasn’t the best idea to put her in his arms because he was warm and perfect to cuddle up into. Her fella knew how to make a person feel safe and, yeah, she really wanted to sleep.

 

“Yeah, you have to, you goddamn moron. I swear to Christ, Quinn, you’re stupider than Steve and that’s real fuckin’ stupid.”

 

Bad—that was bad. “’M sorry,” she apologized quietly but didn’t really feel all that sorry. Honest, she couldn’t feel much of anything anymore. It was all…fuzzy. “No one’s hurt?” That was an important question that she needed to ask because she didn’t hurt no more, sure, but that didn’t mean that no one else wasn’t hurt. There was that town…all those people…

 

“ _You’re_ hurt.” Steve shot back like that was an answer.

 

“…don’t count,” she tiredly replied.

 

Steve tucked her head underneath his chin and held her a little closer. Quinn tilted her head to the side a little so that she could breathe him in—all clean sweat, gunpowder, and cigarette smoke from where he’d been around Buck and his post-mission smoke session. She needed a bed so that she, Steve, and Buck could sprawl out in it and curl up with each other. She’d be in heaven then. There didn’t even need to be no sex. All she needed was them. It’d help that she had her family, too—but not in the bed with them, of course, because that’d be real damn creepy. She’d had a point there somewhere…

 

She must’ve dozed a little because the next time she was _aware_ , Steve placed her face-down between the two benches in the back of a truck, and her fuzzed-up brain took that as a sign that she could sleep now. She made a grumpy noise when someone tore her jacket clean in half and bore her back to the world. Someone touched her back and she shivered, but didn’t let it bother her much more and settled back down to sleep.

 

A pressure on her shoulder startled her awake and she opened her eyes in time to see Morita— _when the hell did he show up?_ —reach into his med-kit and pulled out a pair of tweezers. “Morphine,” she blurted because that crazy asshole was about to pick at her bullet wound and hadn’t even tried to numb her to the pain. “Fuck you. Want _morphine_ ,” she stressed desperately.

 

“I don’t _have_ morphine. You took all mine.”

 

**Fuck.**

 

This was about to hurt.

 

 

\---

 

When Morita started in on her, the pain must’ve been so bad that it scrambled her brain and knocked her out. It was a little hard to believe, but Quinn hadn’t died underneath Morita’s hands, but boy-oh-boy she wished she had because, _holy shit_ , was she in the worst pain she’d ever been in her whole life. Okay, maybe it wasn’t as bad as when she’d been beaten to death, but it was about even.

 

Quinn hadn’t kept awake for more than ten minutes, but what she did see were two soldiers that carried her on a stretcher toward the loud-ass plane she wished someone would kick off already since her head felt like someone beat at it with a hammer over and over. On her right side was a doctor that carried a blood-filled bag, hooked to an IV that led down into her arm.

 

And there, on her left side, was Pegs, who’d come out of nowhere. The other woman shook her head when she spotted that Quinn was awake and reached out to place her hand on Quinn’s forehead. “You bloody idiot.” With her other hand, she reached down so she could take Quinn's hand in hers and squeezed hard.

 

Quinn took that as the okay to pass out again. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit on November 7, 2017: So, someone on Tumblr requested this chapter in Steve and Bucky's POV, [so here's a link!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7988683/chapters/28855893)


	17. Topsy-Turvy World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn recovers, but she doesn't have a whole lot of rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This chapter came a whole lot easier than the last one. I guess I'm better at writing drama than action scenes. (；☉_☉)  
> Anyway, there isn't too much angst in this one. I didn't want to overload you guys too much more. And I'm planning on writing another smutty chapter soon, so stay tuned for that.  
> I want to say thank you so much to all the people who've read this, kudo-ed it, bookmarked it, or reached out to me on [the Tumblr page](http://www.quinnhayden.tumblr.com). I wouldn't have ever gotten as far with this story as I have without all you lovely, gorgeous people. I love you all so, so much! <3

Once Quinn could keep awake more than an hour, the doctors made sure to explain in explicit detail how much in bad shape she’d been until she made it back to London where there was a proper hospital. With how much the SSR doctors hammered the point home that she’d almost died, she was damn sure that someone ordered them to do it. It rubbed her raw to hear their spiel over and over, but she couldn’t backtalk because it’d been a miracle and a half that she made it back to London alive and it’d be rude not to listen to the people that saved her ass.

 

It took almost a week until she’d been allowed to have some visitors, but since she spent almost the whole week knocked out, it hadn’t been too bad. And she knew she didn’t have room to be upset about it, but it hurt a lot when it wasn’t Steve and/or Buck who knocked on her door first—and by _door_ , she meant curtain that separated her bed from the other ones in the ward. There was no one else in there with her, so there wasn’t no issue of privacy unless a doctor or nurse came in to check on her.

 

“Good to see you’re awake now.” It was the politest and curtest that Quinn had seen Peggy be since that cold November day they’d met. Pair that with the cool expression on her face and Quinn knew she was in trouble—serious, _serious_ trouble. “I hope you haven’t caused these doctors too much trouble since you’ve woken up.”

 

Quinn tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, but couldn’t, so she took a drink of water at the bedside table before she answered with, “Ma didn’t raise me to be ungrateful, so, no, I ain’t caused a ruckus.” She winced when, cool as a cucumber, Peggy pulled up a chair next to her bed, took a seat, and then placed the folded-up newspaper she came in the room with in her lap. “Just…” She sucked in a deep breath, let it out, and shot Pegs the most pathetic face she could come up with. “Be easy on me, yeah?”

 

“I’m not your mother, Quinn. I didn’t come here to discipline you.” She retorted and rolled her eyes as she did. “Besides, there’s quite a line that’s formed outside your room—people who plan to shout at you until they’re blue in their faces. I feel there’s no need for me to belabor the point.” Great. That was _real_ peachy. “Colonel Phillips asked me to deliver some orders on his behalf. He’s been a little wrapped up in paperwork, you see.”

 

Good God, how had she not been killed in her sleep yet? Phillips _hated_ to do paperwork and when missions went bad, that meant he had more to do and that also meant he’d make life hell for whoever screwed up. “How deep is the hole I’m in? How bad is it?” She scrubbed a hand across her face then leaned back onto the pillows that were used to prop her up some.

 

“With the colonel, it could be worse. He _has_ ordered you to write up a report on your half of the story now that you’re conscious and coherent. Also, expect your debrief to last for a very, _very_ long time.” That…wasn’t that bad, actually. “I suspect his generous mood is also the result of this,” she held up the newspaper before she tossed it in Quinn’s lap.

 

Quinn blinked a couple of times then slowly unfolded the newspaper and stared at the headline. Then, she blinked some more, turned the paper over to look for some kind of hint that it was fake, and then looked around the room to make sure someone wasn’t about to pop out and tell her it was a prank. “Uh…” She replied like the smart person she was. “ _What_?”

 

**AMERICAN NURSE SAVES FRENCH TOWN** was stretched across the top of the newspaper and underneath it was a picture of Quinn, Steve, and Bucky—one that’d been taken by some American camera crew about a week or two before their latest mission. There was another photo further down in the article, a zoomed-in one of her and her alone. She knew that her pictures were used in papers and picture shows back home, but she’d never seen them and most of them hadn’t ever been focused on her, anyway. So, to see it now, it had her cheeks red and she folded the newspaper back up.

 

“There happened to be some members of the press at the nearest Allied base and came with the squadron we called to have come help the town. Once they learned the Commandos had been there, well, you know how popular they are. The citizens told them about your heroics and the press has had a ball with it ever since.” She ducked her head and tried to hide the blush that spread more. “We hid some of the details, of course, such as the fact that your heart stopped on the way back to London.”

 

Ah, hell, she didn’t need to rub it in like that. “Look, I know—”

 

“I’m not sure that you do.” Quinn didn’t look at the other woman, didn’t want to feel any worse than she already did, but Pegs decided that she _would_ belabor the point she said she wouldn't. “You’re supposed to be a nurse before all else, yes, and you may be better trained than normal nurses, but you weren’t prepared to face a Hydra platoon on your own and that almost cost you your life. Personal relationship with them aside, Steve and James are superior officers and you broke rank to help a town that _would_ have been helped after Hydra had been dealt with. You acted impetuously and took unnecessary risks.”

 

Quinn curled in on herself and weakly tried to defend what she did with, “All I wanted to do was help…”

 

“Yes, I know, and that’s very noble of you, but you need to realize that you can’t save everyone.” Quinn heard her stand up from the chair but didn’t dare look to watch her as she walked toward the door. “Perhaps it’s selfish,” she started and Quinn peered up at her, “but I would rather have civilian casualties than watch you be sent home to your family in a pine box.”

 

Ouch. Just…ouch. That was a horrible, terrible kick below the belt. “‘M sorry,” Quinn choked out and wiped at the tears that welled up in the corners of her eyes. “I…didn’t think ‘bout that kind of stuff. ‘M sorry, okay? I swear to think ‘bout that next time.”

 

“There won’t _be_ a next time. You should be lucky Colonel Phillips hasn’t permanently suspended you from the frontline. James certainly wanted that and would have had his way if Steve had agreed with him.” Peggy took in the look of betrayal Quinn had on her face and raised a brow. “Well, what did you expect would come about from this? They never left your side once, of course, unless they were forced to by a doctor or their duties, but once word came that you were awake, their panic subsided and now I believe they’re both furious.”

 

Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at her lap, sniffled and scrubbed at her eyes. “They act like they ain’t done stupid shit, too.” Her brows furrowed. “If it was them in that situation, they would’ve done the same exact thing.”

 

“And I’m sure you would be as furious with them as they are with you,” she retorted and Quinn winced because she had a point there. “They love you, you buffoon, and they don’t want to see you in a casket any more than I do. Next time, think before you act. Better yet, follow your bloody orders.”

 

\---

 

“You’ve healed at a remarkable rate.” Doctor Jacobs—who was a decent man, treated her and the other nurses nice and with respect—commented while he looked over her bullet wounds. “You haven’t completely healed yet by any means, but still, I’m amazed.”

 

“Really?” she tried to look over her shoulder and catch a peek of that hit she’d taken to the shoulder, but he took her by the chin and forced her to turn her head back around. She pouted a little, but then smiled when he chuckled at her reaction. “I’ve had a lot of sleep?” she offered. “Maybe that’s what’s helped me heal so fast?”

 

Doctor Jacobs hummed. “Maybe,” he cleaned up her wound a little more then placed some fresh bandages back over it. “I want to take a blood sample, if you don’t mind that.” He explained once he had her patched back up and walked around to face her head-on. “I can’t let those hotshots down in the labs be too bored. They’ll lose their touch if I don’t keep them on their toes.”

 

“Yeah-huh,” she snorted but that didn’t keep the smile off her face. He really was a nice man. “Look, Doc, you do whatever you think’s best. You won’t hear me complain one bit.”

 

“Good. I’ll send one of the nurses in to collect a sample.” Doc Jacobs leaned down then, placed his hand over hers, and smiled warmly. “I’m happy to have you back. I’ve really missed your—oh, what is it that you kids say these days?—dynamite personality.”

 

“Doc, you stick to your fuddy-duddy words and I’ll stick to my hipster talk, yeah?”

 

“You’re a very nice young woman. You are _not_ a hipster. Don’t insult yourself like that.” He shook his head and patted her hand before he leaned back up. “You’re still on bed rest until you’re completely stitched back up, so I better not hear a word that you tried to sneak out. Are we clear?”

 

Because Ma and Pa raised her to respect her elders, she held back the curses and nodded instead. “Yes, sir. I’ll…try my best to do that.” When people didn’t stop by to yell at her—and since neither Steve nor Buck had shown up yet, she suspected she hadn’t had the worst yet—all she had to keep her entertained were books and she could only read so much before she went stir-crazy.

 

The Doc seemed like he was about to chew her out about proper hospital patient etiquette or what-have-you, but then one of those newer nurses that Quinn helped train whenever she was in London more than a day or two—Annie was her name maybe?—poked her head in the room. “Nurse Hayden,” she stepped to the side and let Quinn have a clear view of the people behind her and Quinn felt the color drain out of her face. “Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are here to see you.”

 

“Captain, Sergeant,” Doc Jacobs greeted and patted Steve on the shoulder since he was the closest and the doctor only had one hand free. “Nice to see you both again,” he looked at Quinn one more time and told her to, “Have one of your boys call for the nurse when they leave and we’ll take that blood sample.” Then, he ushered the newbie out of the room and left Quinn on her own.

 

Quinn, with no clue what she could possibly say to them to make them _not_ put her through the grinder, decided that it’d be best to keep her eyes down on the book in her lap. Maybe she could pretend to be really tired and that’d put their inevitable conversation off a little while longer. It hadn’t been this awkward between them since the day they’d cornered her in that Hydra base and told her that they were her soul mates and vice versa. No, even _that_ hadn’t been as bad as this—there hadn’t been an undercurrent of hurt and anger back then.

 

This had happened to Quinn once before and she hadn't dealt with it no better than now. Josie hadn't been allowed to see Quinn in the hospital, but when she came home, Josie had pulled her down to the lake and screamed and cried about how stupid she’d acted, how she shouldn’t have tried to be a hero, and a whole lot more before she decided—for them both, mind you—that they needed to split up. It’d crushed Quinn then and she was more than a little scared that she’d be crushed now.

 

Finally, _finally_ , someone broke the painful silence and she was surprised because it was Bucky who went and exploded with, “It was selfish, what you did. You understand that?” She didn’t like it, of course, to sit back and take a lashing, but she didn’t have room to backtalk. She’d scared them shitless, probably. “You’re a goddamn hypocrite, too. You flapped your lips about how me ‘n Steve weren’t allowed to act stupid, but you went and did exactly what you made me promise I wouldn’t do.”

 

“I know.” She breathed out and chewed on her bottom lip. “Buck, I know I did. I’m…I…” She wanted to tell them that she wanted to do what was right, but that hadn’t worked on Pegs and it wouldn’t work on them. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry—”

 

“Worry? _Worry_?” Bucky repeated incredulously. “That’s what you call it? That we was _worried_? That don’t come close to what we was, Quinn. Jesus, Mary, n’ Joseph, you’re a moron. You’re a damn idiot.”

 

Now _that_ , the insults, she wasn’t about to let slide. “You can’t sit there and act like you ain’t done some stupid shit before. You ain’t no saint, Barnes.” She lifted her head up and shot Bucky a dirty look while she pointed a finger at him. “And did I sit there and drag you through the mud? No, I sure as shit didn’t.”

 

“Yeah, well my _heart_ didn’t stop, now did it? You didn’t have to sit there and watch me bleed out all over the place and not be able to do jack _shit_ , did you? You don’t know how that feels, Quinn, so don’t try and defend yourself for that dumb stunt you pulled back in France.” She snapped her mouth shut and gritted her teeth which made him scoff bitterly and mutter, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

 

“Bucky,” Steve shook his head and shoved at Buck’s shoulder a little. “Get outta here until you cool down some, yeah? This don’t help no one.” Bucky didn’t like it, but he _did_ have the last word, so he could walk out of the room without much more of a fuss.

 

When it was down to Quinn and Steve in the room, she rubbed at her eyes that weren’t wet one bit from tears. “Tell me what ‘m supposed to say to make this better. Tell me, because _I_ don’t know.” She pleaded. “I did what you, Buck, or any of the fellas would’ve done, didn’t I? We’ve put our asses on the line a thousand times before, ain’t we? What’s so different about now?”

 

Steve didn’t answer her immediately. Instead, he moved over to her bed and then eased down to sit next to her. She moved over to accommodate him better and then turned her head so she could press her forehead to his upper arm. “People think I’m some kinda patriotic saint or somethin’, but I’m not. I’m selfish.” He admitted and it made her snort because he was the least selfish person she’d ever met. “I _am_.” His hand moved up her shoulder, around to the back of her neck, and kept there while he explained, “If it came down to the world or you and Buck, I’d let it all burn so long as you two are safe.”

 

Quinn took a deep breath, let it out slow, and then turned her head so it was her cheek on his arm rather than her face. “You’re better than that.”

 

“I’m really, _really_ not.” He shot back with a huff. “Buck’s mad and I’m mad ‘cause you didn’t even think twice before you jumped in the lion’s den. I wish you would’ve ran the other way when you snuck out and not face Hydra head-on.” A minute passed before he whispered, “I know you couldn’t’ve lived with yourself if you’d left those people to buy the farm, but I’d rather help you carry that than hear the second your heart stopped.” She leaned back and stared up at him in shock. He didn’t mean…“I don’t think I would’ve heard it if I wasn’t so close to you, but I didn’t want to leave. And my senses, they’re enhanced. So, I heard it…when your heart stop.”

 

Lord, that…that was the worst kind of torture. That was _cruel_ , to have your body be a traitor like that, let you hear it the second a heart of someone that you cared so much about stop. She’d rather spend a hundred years under Zola’s scalpel than hear the exact moment Steve or Buck passed on from the world. It seemed better to hear the words, to hear, “sorry, but they’re dead,” than hear the very last beat of their heart.

 

She’d caused that kind of hurt for him. That was on her shoulders. She never ever wanted to cause him that kind of pain, but she went and did it anyway. “Oh, sweetheart,” she used a hand to tilt his face toward her and kissed his cheek. “Oh, Steve. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, _so_ fuckin’ sorry.”

 

“You’re not some name on my back that I don’t have a face to match it up to anymore.” Steve explained and there were honest to God tears in his eyes. “You’re my _soul mate_ , Quinn. Like I said, I’d burn the world down to keep you safe, but I’d burn with it if I didn’t have you anymore.”

 

“Don’t say that.” She ordered, pained, and made him turn so she could make him press his forehead to hers. “You can’t say that. You’d have to stay behind and take care of Buck.”

 

“Wouldn’t need to because he’d come with me,” he answered and she could tell he was serious about it. God, he was so dead-set about it and she tried not to bawl like a baby. “Doesn’t matter where the line ends, if its years and years down the road when we’re wrinkled and gray or here in this war. Me ‘n Buck, we’ll follow you until we can’t anymore. We’re with you.”

 

It wasn’t fair for her to do this to them, to keep wrapped around them like some kind of animal that protects its territory. “That ain’t healthy.” She choked out and squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears. “Steve, that ain’t right.”

 

“Like I said, I’m selfish. I’m a poor, sorry bastard.” Steve breathed out and brushed his lips over hers—but her own wobbled so much that it couldn’t really be called a kiss. “I’m hooked on you and, God have mercy on my soul, I’ll drag you and Buck down with me as long as I can.”

 

Damn it all to hell. She took a deep breath, kissed him a little desperate, and declared, “Guess we’ll have to keep your head above the water then.”

 

\---

 

Bucky had run when Steve shooed him out of the room the other day and he hadn’t shown up since. How Steve explained it was that, as a hot-head, Buck needed more time to level out, but Quinn wasn’t an idiot. Bucky wanted to wait until she caved, dropped to her knees, and pleaded for mercy. She’d say sorry for the dumb stunt, sure, but she was a little vindictive herself and would wait until he felt like so much of an asshole for how he acted that he’d cave first instead.

 

So, without Bucky or Steve in the way, the Commandos now had their turns to come and rip her a new one—except for Dernier and Falsworth who came with flowers and were happy to see her alive. Now, never let it be said that a woman’s best weapon aren’t her tears. Well, tears tend to not work on other women, but on _men_ , Quinn could murder someone in cold blood, have actual blood on her hands, but bust out into tears when the cops showed up and be off the hook in a second. It was a little manipulative, but she’d had so many people nail the point that she’d acted stupid home that she was fed up with it.

 

When her other soul mate finally showed up to talk to her—and it’d only been because Steve had practically manhandled him into the room since he was done with their bullshit—her tears with him were actually true ones. Maybe it was because he was her soul mate, but they didn’t seem to work on him as well as they did with the Commandos.

 

“I really _am_ sorry.” Quinn sniffled, wobbly bottom lip between her teeth, and she stretched out her hand to him. “I can’t promise I won’t try and do all I can to save people, but I’ll make sure to stick with you, Steve, ‘n the Commandos from now on.” He didn’t scowl as much, but his arms were still crossed over his chest which was pretty much like a wall between them. “I’m a dumbass, I’ll admit it.” She wiggled her fingers. “But I’m yours, ain’t I?”

 

"Son of a bitch," he let out a long, frustrated sigh and his arms fell down to his sides. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re mine.” She beamed at him when he walked forward to thread his fingers through hers. “You’ll be the death of me, y’know that? Steve and you both,” he mumbled against her skin when he kissed her knuckles.

 

Quinn batted her eyelashes. “You’ll be the prettiest corpse in the cemetery.”

 

“Christ, that’s awful. You have a sick sense of humor.” He sat down next to her on the bed and brushed his lips across hers. “I missed having you around.” He confessed. “They had to replace the floors from where Steve fucked ‘em up with how much he paced. I was about to wring his neck if he didn’t let up soon.”

 

“Y’all are terrible.” She kissed his cheek, couldn’t keep the wide smile off her face. “I missed you, too.”

 

\---

 

Freedom had never tasted sweeter than when Quinn had been allowed to leave the hospital. Of course, when Pegs walked up behind her and forced her to sit down at a desk with paperwork, freedom turned a little sour. Then, freedom went and crashed and burned when some soldiers showed up to escort her to the ill-fated debrief Phillips had promised would be torture.

 

On her way to see the colonel, the weirdest shit happened. A batch of those green nurses stopped her in her tracks. She’d been a little suspicious of them at first which turned to confusion when she saw a camera and pens and papers. When she looked at the two soldiers who came to pick her up, they seemed as confused as she was.

 

“Nurse Hayden,” one brave nurse spoke up, stepped out of the line, and held out the camera a little. “Do you mind if we take a picture with you?”

 

“Sure?” she answered hesitantly. “But, uh, if you really want a photo with S—Captain Rogers, I can have someone find him for y’all—”

 

The nurses looked between each other and there was a whole bunch of confusion all around. “Nurse Hayden,” a different nurse started slowly. “We’d appreciate the chance to take pictures with you so we can send them home to little sisters or nieces or even our mothers.”

 

Quinn squinted at her, cocked her head to the side, and blurted out, “Why on earth would you want to do that?”

 

“You’re a Howling Commando and a hero.”

 

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, _no_. “I’m not—” she laughed and it sounded a tiny bit hysterical. “Y’all have it all backwards. See, I’m the _nurse_ for the Commandos, but I’m not actually one myself.”

 

“You saved all those people in France. I bet you saved a lot more than that town, too.” Another nurse assumed. “You work with Captain America and the other men. You’re in combat with them. You’re a hero like them. You’re _one of them_ —the first and only woman.”

 

Wow. _Wow_. How completely off the mark these ladies were. “I…” Aw, shit. They looked all…hopeful. “Well, yah see—”

 

“Ladies,” Doc Jacobs spoke up from behind all the nurses and they spun around to look at him. “Colonel Phillips needs Nurse Hayden, but I’m sure she’ll have more time for you later.” And since he was the doctor that oversaw all their work, he raised a brow at them and asked, “And don’t the lot of you have some stitches to work on?”

 

That sure did make them scramble quick and when Quinn couldn’t see them no more, she rubbed the back of her neck and wondered out loud, “When the hell did the world lose its mind?”

 

Doc snorted. “Is that what you call it?”

 

Quinn scrunched up her nose in distaste, but let it slide when she noticed the clipboard he had in hand. “’S that my bloodwork?” She tried to take a little peek, but he pressed it to his chest before she could really have a look. “Guess not?” her brows furrowed because there wouldn’t be no other reason he’d keep them a secret other than that they weren’t her own charts. “Did you hear from the fellas down in the labs about it yet?”

 

"No. They haven’t finished yet.” Huh. Doc Jacobs seemed…nervous. “If they spot any abnormalities, I’ll have you come see me, but there shouldn’t be. There’s no need to worry.” Maybe it was in her head, how skittish he was. “Good luck with Colonel Phillips. He’s in a mood today.”

 

“ _Great_.”

 

\---

 

Quinn wasn’t a coward. Damn it, she was absolutely _not_ a coward. So what if she practically ran to Steve and Buck’s quarters so she could hole up with them until dark that way no one would bother her for pictures or autographs anymore? All she wanted to do was spend some time with her fellas. There hadn’t been time for intimacy in a hospital bed, after all.

 

The coast looked clear when she made it to their floor, but she hadn’t expected to have many soldiers want her picture to send home to their mommas or what-have-you. It seemed to only be the nurses and secretaries and other female SSR workers that had went all crazy and decided that she was a hero when all she’d done is what a normal person would’ve.

 

Some soldier had been on his way out of his room and with her head in the clouds, she hadn’t seen him in time to not run into him. “Jeez, excuse me. ‘M real sorry about that,” she apologized and rubbed her nose that had rammed into his back in the collision.

 

“Oh, it’s no problem.” Then, he turned around and did a double-take. She took an automatic step back when his expression switched so fast from polite to…in-his-mind-he’s-a-stud that she would’ve missed it if she’d have blinked. “Wow. You’re her. You’re Nurse Quinn Hayden, aren’t you?”

 

“Sadly, yeah,” she winced when he let out one of _those_ laughs—what people use to make another person feel like they’re funnier than they actually are and, in turn, like the first person better. “If you don’t mind to move…”

 

Mister G.I. moved to stand in front of her when she tried to walk toward Steve’s room and she scowled at him. She _really_ didn’t have no more patience in her anymore. “Say, do you want to—”

 

“No.” She shot him down quick and didn’t look a bit sorry about it.

 

He blinked. “But—”

 

“Not interested.”

 

“You’ll have the best time of your life with me, sweetheart. I promise.”

 

“Probably won’t,” she deadpanned. “But thanks for the offer, anyway. You want to move out the damn way already?”

 

Some men had a real hard time with the word _no_ and this fella seemed to be one of them because he frowned. “You don’t have to be so cold with me. You’re up here for a reason and I bet it’s not all that noble.”

 

“I’m _here_ ,” she shoved at his shoulder and then pointed behind him so he would turn around and spot Steve who had snuck up behind him in the middle of the—one-sided, in her opinion—conversation, “to talk with Captain Rogers.” Steve made sure to sport his patented _Captain America is very disappointed in you and that means Uncle Sam is too and you should be ashamed of yourself_ look. “You want to take my damn _no_ for an answer or do I need to have Captain Rogers say it for me? It won’t be as nice as mine, just so yah know.”

 

Once the asshole had went and scurried down the staircase, Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. “How come they never listen to me when I say no? You come in, don’t even have to make a peep, and they run scared.” She poked his chest. “Teach me how to do that.”

 

Steve grinned at her. “I don’t know why they’re not scared. You’ll hurt ‘em worse than I ever could.” She puffed up at the compliment and he teased her with, “You’re the scariest dame I’ve ever met.” He paused, then shook his head. “Wait. Sorry. I think _Peggy_ is the scariest. You’re a close second, though.”

 

“Thank you.” Now that there was absolutely no one in sight, she practically threw herself at Steve. “The worst shit’s happened. People have lost their damn minds.” She whined into his chest and tried to press closer into him when he wrapped his arms around her. “They want _pictures_ with me. They want my John Hancock for shit. They think ‘m some kind of hero. Jesus, the nurses have it stuck in their heads that I’m an actual Commando.”

 

“What? Hold on a second.” He took her shoulders and pushed her back a bit so he could stare down at her, brows knitted. “You don’t think you’re a Commando?”

 

“I’m not. I’m the _nurse_ for the Commandos, but that doesn’t make me one.”

 

Steve groaned in frustration, scrubbed a hand across his face, and spun around to head back into his room. “Buck,” he damn near shouted and Quinn scrambled to follow after him. “I think Quinn has a concussion or somethin’. She doesn’t think she’s a Commando.” She made sure to shut the door behind her and lock it so no one would surprise them with a visit. “You know how to check for concussions?”

 

“You ever think she’s just a dumbass?” Bucky, the asshole, shot back at Steve.

 

“I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

 

“Ha-fuckin’-ha, assholes.” Quinn toed off her heels and turned to face her asshole soul mates. “Look, y’all do all the hero work and _me_?” she shrugged. “I do the nurse work. I patch people up. I’m a nurse. I’m not no Commando.”

 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “If someone else did what you did, what would you say they were?”

 

“That’s different.” She replied petulantly.

 

Steve piped up with, “It’s not.”

 

Quinn wasn't in the mood to deal with this shit anymore. She’d come to see these dicks because she wanted to spend at least one more uninterrupted night with them that didn’t include her having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to sneak back into her room. It’d been why she made sure that no one told Nurse Delores that she was out of the hospital because that woman would storm London down to make sure the nurses under her care weren’t involved with…scandalous things.

 

“I think I want to head back to the hospital now.” She complained under her breath while she walked away from the door, toward the bed where Bucky was sprawled out across. “Didn’t your mommas teach you some manners? You’re supposed to be nice to the gal who was just let out of the hospital, yeah?” Carefully, she lowered herself onto the bed so she wouldn’t disturb her wounds too much.

 

“We can baby you if you really want that.” Bucky offered.

 

Her expression went sour. “ _Why_ are you two such _pricks_?”

 

“Part of the charm, baby-doll,” he purred.

 

"Charm, my foot," she sneered and rolled onto her stomach so she could cross her arms and put her chin on top of them. Now, she wouldn’t have to look at either of their asshole faces. “What’d y’all even ask me to come here for if all you plan to do is be mean?”

 

“We have presents for you.” She turned her head to the side and watched Steve set a silver locket down on the mattress beside her. After the necklace, he set down a photo, and then waved toward them to let her know she could have at it. “They’re not from us.”

 

“Can’t afford much on our salaries, yah see,” Buck joked from the other side of her.

 

Quinn leaned back up and shuffled around so that she was pressed up against the headboard like Bucky was and to make room for Steve. She picked up the silver locket and examined it. Other than some intricate swirls, it wasn’t too fancy. But…oh, it opened up, she found out when she pressed the little button at the top. Inside, there was a little black and white photo—three little kids. She moved it closer to her eye, squinted, and, “Hey!” She looked between Steve and Bucky. “Is this Adele?” It had to be. “Huh. I didn’t think she had her some brothers.”

 

“Those aren’t brothers.” Bucky whispered. “Those are her marks.” She moved her surprised gaze onto him and he ran a hand through his hair. “Town wanted to thank you for what you did, but it wasn’t like you was awake for it, so we took their messages.” He tapped the locket. “Her ma said she wanted you to have this so you could see how much you saved her baby’s future.” She stared down at the locket again, rubbed her thumb across the photo. “Small world, huh? Another three peas in a pod,”

 

“Here’s another baby you saved.” Steve passed her a photo, one that the camera crew who went into the town after the Commandos left must’ve taken. It was Simone and a man who looked roughed-up, but not too hurt otherwise. In Simone’s arms was the newborn Quinn never had the chance to see. “Simone, I think her name was? She asked us for your name and we told her, but she didn’t like Quinn too much as a name for her daughter, so she went with Esther. We saved her old man from the factory.”

 

Quinn shook her head. “I can see Adele, but I didn’t save her baby—Esther.” _Shit_. Someone had named their _kid_ after her. “That was Miriam—the midwife.”

 

“How Missus Mariam put it, if you hadn’t did what you did, when you did it, Hydra would’ve come in and massacred the whole town. How she said it, you saved everyone’s lives.” Steve blinked and suddenly reached down into the front of his shirt. For a second, she thought he wanted his dog tags, but instead he came back up with a necklace. There was a little Star of David on the end. “Oh, and she wanted you to have this. She said you needed it more than her and she hoped it’d keep you safe until we made it back to London.”

 

"Yeah, they didn’t have much to hand over to thank you,” Bucky wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into his side. “But we told ‘em that you wouldn’t want shit like that, anyways. You’re too humble for your own damn good.”

 

Quinn clutched the locket and the Star of David that Steve had passed on to her close to her chest and if she cried a little, it’d be her, Steve, and Bucky’s secret.


	18. Private Affairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With her new found stardom, it's hard for Quinn to have some privacy. It all ends up okay in the end, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Screams] I am so sorry that this took so long! I keep saying that on all my chapters and you're probably sick of hearing it, but I really, really am! Life got in the way and I've been second-guessing myself with it because there's porn and I don't write that much porn. _Argh._  
>  Anyway, I present to you almost 9,000 words which nearly 4,000 of is porn! Hurrah!  
> Come hit me up on the [Tumblr page](http://www.quinnhayden.tumblr.com)! Comments would be appreciated but I'm not gonna ask for much since I made you wait so long! Right, I'll shut up now and let you get reading!  
> I love you guys! <3

“No.”

 

“Colonel Phillips, sir, you didn’t even let me ask what I wanted to.”

 

“I’m not stupid. I know exactly what you want and the answer’s _no_.”

 

“But, sir—”

 

“Shut up, Hayden. The only reason I ever let a nurse out onto my battlefield was because your boy threatened to sick a senator on me if I kept you cooped up here in London. You’re lucky I don’t keep you stationed here until the damn war is over, but I’d blow my brains out if I had to be stuck here with your smart ass mouth all the time _and_ you’re America’s new sweetheart now, which means I can’t send you back out there and have you end up dead. We’ll both have to suck it up because you’re stuck here until you’re cleared for duty.”

 

Quinn fumed and seethed and Private Lorraine, who’d escorted Quinn inside and stood there for the whole quick, less than five minutes conversation, smirked. “Believe it or not,” She leaned in close to Quinn like she had a secret, but said, “He was very worried about you,” so loud that their superior officer would hear.

 

Phillips looked about ready to pop an ulcer and snapped out, “You’re both dismissed.”

 

Had Private Lorraine not made her walk out of the office first, Quinn would’ve slammed the door shut behind her like the real mature adult she really was. Since she couldn’t throw a tantrum, she instead snarled curses—under her breath, of course, because she was raised better than to cuss in front of ladies because not everyone was so tolerant of a bad mouth.

 

Y’know, Quinn had been sure that, for once, luck was on her side. She hadn’t kicked the bucket, had healed pretty darn quickly, hadn’t been in too, _too_ much pain, and no one had thrown her out on the street because of her stunt. Seemed to her that she was blessed, but that didn’t last at all, damn it. So, moral of the story? She may have been let out of the infirmary, she may’ve not been put on bedrest upon said release, but that didn’t mean she was allowed out on missions with the Commandos yet.

 

“So you know,” Private Lorraine drawled and Quinn looked over her shoulder. “It was Doctor Jacobs who declared you temporarily unfit for duty, so I wouldn’t bother to head to him for help, if that’s what you planned to do.” Quinn went red in the face because that’d been _exactly_ what she’d started to think about as a way to step around this little…problem. “I can’t wait to work more closely with you for the next few weeks, Nurse Hayden.” Lorraine added as she eyed Quinn up and down and then _winked._

 

Quinn most definitely did _not_ walk into a wall when she turned back around.

 

\---

 

As if she _hadn’t_ been chewed out mere _minutes_ before by Colonel Phillips, in a show of appreciation, the SSR—which pretty much meant the senators that now cashed in on her newfound popularity—presented Quinn with her very own office. Quinn wanted to know what the _fuck_ had happened in the world. Honest, this whole deal made her head hurt because, not a month before, she didn’t even have a _desk_ —she had to keep her personals with either Pegs or Steve. Now she had an actual room with four walls and an actual official desk with her _name_?

 

Even kookier about the whole situation was the fact that _everyone_ seemed to know that she had a new office before she even did because when she showed up in the medical ward and a nurse—one of the few who hadn’t been swept up in the whole Quinn Hayden craze that’d struck the others—came to fetch her, there were a whole bunch of men that waited outside for her to show up. It embarrassed Quinn and quickly morphed into horror when she spotted both Steve and Bucky at the door and Steve even had a bouquet of flowers for her—how sweet was _that_ , huh? Okay, well, it wasn’t exactly as cute as it would’ve been if Steve didn’t wear his Captain America face and Buck didn’t scowl at any of the men who came too close to him.

 

Quinn ran a hand across her face and the nurse beside her—Nurse Mary, maybe? Jesus, she needed to learn how to remember names better—patted Quinn on the shoulder. “This isn’t an exam room, boys.” At least, she hoped it wasn’t made into one to somehow make her more open to the public or whatever scheme the senators could’ve possibly come up with. She had to look over at Nurse Mary, who nodded in response, to make sure of that. “Yeah, so y’all need to schedule your exams or what-have-yah with Doctor Jacobs or any other doctors around here.”

 

“Ah, at least tell us you’ll be there to do some tests, why don’t you, sweetheart?” One of the, frankly, stupider soldiers leered. “See, I have this…swelling that needs some tending to. Maybe you could help me out and let me have a private exam with you?”

 

Nurse Mary shook her head and murmured, “You dumb piece of shit.” Most men, other than the buddies of the dead man who cracked up with him, started to slowly step away from him, inch by inch. Quinn wondered how the fuck she was supposed to hold back a super soldier—or if she should even try to keep him at bay. Goddamn dumb G.I.’s would be the death of her.

 

Steve, who had started to run red in the face, shoved the flowers into Bucky’s arms and started to say, “Listen here, pal—” but Quinn threw herself in front of him since she didn’t want to spend the last day she had with her fellas back in with Phillips because Steve murdered a man. With a scowl on her face, she tossed back at the offender, “Honey, you’d need to have a dick to have some of that _swelling_ you're talkin’ about.” The man flushed and the other soldiers who had backed away from him started to hoot and holler. “If yah want, I can test how far I can shove my foot up your ass.” She started to shove Steve back into the office. “Have a real swell day, soldiers.”

 

Once Quinn had the door shut and locked behind her, she had to keep up in front of it because Steve tried to reach past her and head back outside. “Men aren’t supposed to speak to ladies like that and I won’t stand around and let someone act that-ah way to _you_.” He spat and, when she wouldn’t move out of the way for him, he huffed. “Quinn, someone needs to teach that bastard a lesson.”

 

“Yeah, well, it ain’t about to be _you_ …or _you_ , Barnes.” Quinn pointed over at Buck who’d thrown the bouquet onto the desk, crossed his arms over his chest, and had that ice cold expression on his face. She was able to stand her ground, even when he threw that look at her. “You can’t run around and punch fellas. Y’all are a captain and a sergeant.” She reprimanded and then tried to appease them with, “Look, I’ll make sure that the nurse who helps with his next checkup roughs him up real nice, okay?” That made neither of them happier or made them want to back down and she shook her head with a little smile. Then, she told Steve, “I can’t believe you acted like this when you was a little stick of a thing.”

 

“It doesn’t matter what size you are, you shouldn’t dick around when people are disrespected.” He declared and then squinted at her. “And I wasn’t a _stick_.”

 

“You was a stick, Steve.” Bucky retorted while he picked up the bouquet, walked past Steve, and passed her the flowers. “But I am with him on how we needs to put that asshole in his place.” It was funny, how he and Steve both ended up with more Brooklyn in their voices when they were riled up. “The flowers is from us and the rest of the boys.” Even when he was spitting mad, he kept a sweetheart, and kissed her on the cheek. “They heard you was benched for now and wanted to cheer you up since you was bound to be in a bad mood.”

 

“Thank y’all very much.” She leaned up on her tiptoes and brushed her lips across Bucky’s, but moved back with a grin when he tried to deepen the kiss. When she looked over at Steve, he still looked pissed off and she huffed in amusement. “Calm down, you dummy.” She told him and pecked him on the lips, too. “But are y’all sure you didn’t buy these ‘cause you wanted to say sorry since you didn’t stick up for me in front of Phillips?”

 

Bucky shot her a real sour expression. “Aw, c’mon, doll, it ain’t like that.”

 

“Yeah, ain’t like that one bit,” Steve reached out to wrap her up in his arms—low blow is what that was, he knew she couldn't resist that. “We…may’ve not put up much of a commotion when they said you had to keep back here, but we didn’t throw yah in the lion den and say we didn’t want to have yah on the team.”

 

As sore as Quinn wanted to be with them, she knew where their hearts were at. Hell, if a one of them had been hurt as bad as she’d been, she would carry on and have her a fituntil they weren’t on the field no more period. “It’s just…” She put her nose into the Steve’s chest so she could hide her face, breathed in and out, and admitted, “We’ve never been away since before the day we met. What if—” _you’re hurt or worse and I’m not there to help?_ But if she finished that, she knew they’d be on her because she’d done the exact same to them. “I’m worried, is all.”

 

“We’ll have Jim with us and he’s a fine nurse. Not as pretty as you, but he can handle it, I think.” Bucky shot back and she snorted. “What would’ve happened if they sent you home, huh? Most people aren’t able to be with their match every day. Ask Steve about how horrible _that_ is—to be left back in the States, back home, where it’s _safe_.” He eyed Steve dirtily.

 

Steve made a point _not_ to look at Bucky when he replied with, “Goddamn it, Bucky, for the last time, I’m not about to say sorry because I wanted to be with you in this.”

 

“We aren’t exactly the same as most people out there, Buck.” She mused. “So, maybe we shouldn't be treated to the normal way other matches are.” She paused and took a second to think about how that sounded when it came out. “I don't mean to say that we're _better_ than other people, but…I think I'll shut up now.” She rubbed the back of her neck and, as an afterthought, quickly added, “And I think Buck’s sorer about how you went and let some people experiment on yah. Maybe you should say sorry about that, yeah?”

 

“Kiss my ass. I wouldn’t pick any different a second time.”

 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Stubborn-fuckin’-ass,” he muttered under his breath.

 

Quinn blinked and smiled a little then walked between the two of them so she could throw an arm around a shoulder each and pulled them down toward her. It was an awkward embrace, no doubt about it, but it was a problem someone with two soul mates would have—and if that could be the worst problem she’d have to deal with, she’d be the happiest gal in the world. “Be safe.” God, this had to be the cheesiest scene in the world, but she didn’t care. “I know I fucked up, but that don’t mean y’all have to make the same mistakes as me. So…make sure you come home…to me…”

 

“London ain’t exactly home,” she was in the perfect spot to stomp down on Steve’s foot, but as a super soldier, it didn’t hurt him one bit. Still, he understood the point. “Sorry,” he tilted his face to the side and kissed her temple. “‘Course we’ll come back to you,” he whispered.

 

What else could Quinn do but believe him?

 

\---

 

It had been a hard, hard two weeks that passed without Steve, Bucky, or any of the Commandos around to keep her company. It’d also been even harder not to pout when she found out that even the newbies—Happy Sam, Pinky, and Juniper—went on the mission, too. But, well, she expected it to happen sooner or later since the newbies had done nice with the SSR so far and the fellas sure did like them, too. The three of them needed to be tested to see how well they played on a team before they became official Commandos. Honest, she wondered how Ole Sourpuss Pinky would do out there in the field. Oh, Jesus, here she, the pot, had called the kettle black, because she’s been a sourpuss since the second the Commandos shipped out.

 

Since it seemed that all Quinn had was time on her hands, she spent most of her free time inside her head—and it wasn’t in a bad way, for once. No, she took her some time to think about her…physical relationship with her two boys. That line of thought didn’t come out of nowhere, of course. It started when she overheard some nurses complain about how much it embarrassed them to pass out rubbers to soldiers—and she bit back the remark that they’d have to learn to live with it because Uncle Sam wanted his men to be clean so the sweet little soul mates left back home wouldn’t be infected when— _if_ the war ever ended. Then, later on, when she decided there couldn’t be a better time to read the letters that had piled up from home, it didn’t seem like a coincidence that Ma—after she went on and on about how happy she was Quinn had found Steve and Bucky—had written: _And for the love of God, make sure you have prophylactics on you at all times_. As much as Ma wanted some new babies to spoil rotten, she was real practical in the fact that she knew how hard it would be if Quinn ended knocked up in the middle of a war—even if there was a fifty-fifty chance that the baby could be Captain America’s.

 

If she took some time to think real hard on it, maybe the reason she hadn’t let them in—okay she hadn’t meant to put it _that_ way, but the point still stood—was because of what the Klan had done to her way back when. It made sense, didn’t it? Those men had ripped and torn and shredded her until she was bloody pieces on the inside and out. What happened with them had been her only experience with men and there weren’t words to describe what it’d done to her. Of course, she knew that Steve and Bucky would never hurt her on purpose and would make it as easy and pleasurable as possible, but maybe she was scared that she’d drop back into her bad memories in the middle of it and that wasn’t exactly romantic.

 

Quinn, stretched out in her bed, rolled over so she could shove her face into her pillow, and moaned in irritation. Maybe…she could practice beforehand? Shit, how was she supposed to do that, huh? She wanted to surprise them with it, be real romantic on their next date—whenever they had the chance for that. Goddamn it. Because she couldn’t sit still when she was fussy, she turned back over, and then ran her hands across her bare skin, across the dark letters scrawled down her sides. She decided that they could at least try it and if she ended up in a bad headspace then they could end it there and try to build up some more to it. Sure, it wouldn’t be romantic, but at least she could say she tried. So, the next day, she would head to medical and pick up some Johnnies of her own to surprise the fellas with…

 

…which had turned out to be a hell of a lot harder to do than she’d expected. Women of the SSR were allowed to pick up some rubbers for their own personal affairs, same as the soldiers, but this whole idea of Quinn’s had come from the very fact that nurses couldn’t keep their fat mouths shut—and she could admit that also may have ran her mouth from time to time, too. And say that she skipped the nurses and went to a doctor instead for some help, she reasoned that they wouldn’t be so keen on her any more than the nurses and it could hurt her career a lot more than her fellow nurses. Even if they didn’t head to Phillips to snitch, work at headquarters could end up a lot harder than before. Plus, there was a risk now that her little personal trip could end up in the damn newspapers the next day. _Hero Nurse Actually Slut_ —yeah, the senators that ran the show would love that.

 

As per whenever Quinn was stuck in a rut that she had no idea what the hell to make of, she went to her very dear, close friend, Peggy, for help. “Hello, beautiful,” Quinn purred and leaned a hand on the brunette’s desk. “Have I ever told you how much I love you? Because it’s a whole fuckin’ lot, y’know that?” It usually never worked to butter Pegs up, but it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

 

“Dare I ask what mess you’ve made that I’ll no doubt have to clean up on your behalf?” Peggy drawled wryly and didn’t even move her eyes away from her paperwork to look at Quinn.

 

Well, it’d been worth a shot. “It’s not a mess… _yet_. It could be real bad, but it don’t have to be if I can find some help…and the only help I can think of is you.” Peggy finally put her pen down and tilted her head up to stare at Quinn with knitted brows. “I, uh,” her ears started to burn and Quinn rubbed at an earlobe, “I have this problem where I don’t have no privacy, but I need to do…private shit, yeah?”

 

Peggy ducked her head, pinched the bridge of her nose, and sighed loudly, but she had a little smirk on her face that made Quinn pout. “Bloody Nora, I was under the impression that this was more serious.” Really, Pegs seemed to take a little too much pleasure in Quinn’s problems. “I’m sorry, Quinn, but if you need help with the woes of stardom, I think Howard would be a better person to turn to.”

 

“No, see, Steve has these,” she shuddered because she never ever believed she would have, “ _famous_ people problems too, so I can always ask him about it and not have to deal with Howard’s…y’know, personality. Anyway, that’s not really the problem. What I need to do is pick up some private _things_ in medical, but the every nurse I know talks and the doctors would probably lecture me and what the fuck am I supposed to do if it ends up in the _papers_? Some would call what I need…scandalous.”

 

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think? I doubt the nurses would talk openly about a trip to pick up some feminine products—”

 

Quinn moaned and covered her face. “I _wish_ that was the problem. Lord have mercy, you think I’d need help with _that_? Christ, no, that’s not what this is about.” She looked around the room to make sure that there was no one else around when she explained, “I need…uh—um, I have to pick up some…rubbers.”

 

Peggy’s expression shifted over the course of a minute—confusion, shock (maybe?), and then irritation. Quinn didn’t even take the chance to think that Pegs would be upset about this, because she seemed like such a modern woman, but maybe she was a little more conservative than Quinn had expected. So, she opened her mouth to say never mind, that she should put it out of her head, but then Pegs leaned forward and snarled lowly, “Are you a fucking buffoon?” That was…mean. “You mean to tell me that you, as a _nurse_ , have had sex with them this whole time and you didn’t think to use protection until _now_? You have to know that the pull-out—”

 

How the fuck this conversation had spiraled down so much, Quinn had no idea, and the turn of events made her crack up. “Oh shit. Oh fuck. No. No, no, no, Pegs,” she tried to talk between laughs. “We haven’t—oh holy cow, you went a whole other way with this here talk.” She wiped at her eyes. “We’ve fucked around, but we actually ain’t fucked. You understand?”

 

“Oh.” Peggy blinked. “Well, the three of you aren’t completely hopeless then.”

 

“I’m pissed you’d think I’d be that dumb.” Quinn huffed then shook her head because she lost track of what they were supposed to talk about here. “Look, if you don’t want to do this, yah don’t have to. It could ruin your reputation. Girls are bound to talk once you show up in medical. You deal with so much horse shit as it is. Tell me to fuck off and I’ll never say another word about it. I’m actually a real terrible person to ask you for this, but I don’t have no one else to turn to.”

 

“Of course I’ll help you. We both know I could care less about my reputation.” Peggy dismissed. “Quite honestly, I’m proud that you actually stopped to think about the consequences of your actions for once because, unfortunately, word _would_ undoubtedly spread about your trip,” which was a fucked up fact. “But I do have to ask, why not have James or Steve pick some up? You obviously have no immediate need for them unless you three have another soul mate I haven’t been made aware of yet, so why not wait until they return? Don’t they receive them in their rations the same as the rest of the troops?”

 

“Well, they never had much occasion to use them before _I_ came into the picture. I won’t explain what I mean because you’re a smart lady.” Peggy’s lips pursed and Quinn cackled for a second or two before she started back up. “So, they usually pass them off to the other fellas. And, uh, I ain’t asked them to keep their rubbers ‘cause, I…” Aw, hell. A blush started to crawl down her neck. “I…wanted to surprise them with this?” It was Peg’s turn to start to laugh and Quinn only blushed harder. “Shut up, you asshole! I wanna be romantic here! Stop makin’ fun ah me!”

 

When Peggy was done, she breathed out, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat and then shoved her unfinished paperwork into a drawer. Once she straightened back up, she put a hand on Quinn’s shoulder, and said with the most serious face, “Let’s fetch those prophylactics for you, shall we?” Her expression broke and she beamed at Quinn and maybe she should’ve been a little offended, but, hey, it was a little infectious because she smiled back at Pegs.

 

“And I say it again, you’re a real asshole.” Quinn repeated fondly.

 

\---

 

When word reached headquarters that the Commandos’ plane hand landed, Phillips, the surly son of a bitch, wouldn’t let Quinn ride with him to meet them at the airfield, but the joke was on him because she’d decided it’d have been in her best interest not to see them until later, anyhow. See, she wasn’t so sure she’d be able to control herself and not drape over Steve and Buck like some lovesick kid the second she saw them. Lord only knew how much Dum-Dum or Jimmy would’ve teased her if they ever saw some kind of scene like that. So, she tried to hole up in her office as much as possible until her day of work at headquarters was done and over with because she hadn’t been much in the mood to deal with people and their stupid questions and their stupid need to kiss her ass now that she was a _hero_.

 

Once she’d been relieved from her duties, she went back to her quarters so she could dress up a little bit—or a whole lot, but who cared, yeah? Then, she had to wait until dark so she could sneak out. So far as Nurse Delores knew, Quinn would keep to her room until tomorrow, and there was no need to ruin the older nurse’s peace of mind when she had a perfectly decent fire escape to use.

 

And when she finally _did_ head out, she hiked up her dress and tucked two rubbers underneath her garter belt. To see them there put a nervous kind of excitement in her belly and, as cool as it was outside, she didn’t even take a coat with her because she sweated so much. Hopefully, the chill would help beat the heat in her blood so neither Steve or Buck would ask questions.

 

Nervous as she was—even if it _was_ more excited _and_ nervous than nervous alone—it was hard not to smile like an idiot the closer and closer she came to their end of town. She climbed the fire escape up to Steve’s room and didn’t bother to stop and tap on Bucky’s window, which was a floor below Steve’s, because she somehow knew that he’d already be there. Bucky spent more time in Steve’s room than he did his actual own bunk, but who could blame him on that? Steve sure was a spoiled little shit nowadays—he deserved it, definitely, but that didn’t make him any less of a pampered little asshole.

 

Quinn smoothed down her dress when she made it to the outside of Steve’s room and reached out to rap her knuckles on the window. When the curtains were pulled open, it was Steve on the other side, and the second he spotted her, he beamed. As always, to see him like that, it was tied with Bucky as the prettiest picture in the world. He slid open the window and she started to drawl, “Well, hello there, sweet _heart_ —” but her sentence broke off into a squeak because he reached out and cupped the back of her neck, pulled her down, and met her in the middle for a real, real, _real_ enthusiastic kiss.

 

She could admit that she whimpered a little when he pulled away. “Hi.” Steve breathed out and honest, if it meant she would be treated to this every time she saw them when they came back, she could stand to stay back in London more often. “God, ‘m sorry,” maybe because he assumed that kind of hello could be considered pushy or too much. “Just…missed you a lot, y’know?”

 

“Don’t say sorry on my account. I was ‘bout to do the same, but you beat me to the punch.” She playfully shoved at his chest. “Now, you let me on in there. Got another fella inside that I need to see.” Steve took her hand in his, squeezed once, and then helped her down from the sill and into the room. She moved up to her tiptoes to peck his cheek sweetly, but he moved his head to the side so their lips met instead. She chuckled, but cupped his cheeks in her hands anyway, and let him have what he wanted. He took that as permission to wrap her up in his arms, but let his hands wander down and cupped her ass. She leaned away to raise her eyebrows at him amusedly. “What in the Sam Hill’s the matter with you, huh?”

 

“Man can’t be happy to see his woman?” He shot back between more kisses.

 

“I ain’t no one’s woman, thank you very much.” She was able to squirm out of his arms but he sure was in a playful mood because he tried to catch her before she could head over to where Bucky was sprawled out across the bed, leaned up on an elbow to watch her and Steve interact. “Steve, you’re hopeless. Let me see Bucky,” Quinn laughed while she danced away from Steve and grinned at Bucky who, in turn, opened up his arms to her. “Can you believe this lummox, huh?” She asked Bucky while she kicked off her heels, crawled onto the mattress, and then slithered into his arms. She shoved her face into his chest and breathed him in.

 

“Let me make it up to you on his behalf, yeah?” Quinn looked up in time to watch Bucky wink at Steve, who made a noise of offense from the other side of the room. “Wouldn’t shut the fuck up for two whole weeks,” he went on and turned back to stare down at her. “ _‘Do you think she’s mad we wouldn’t let her come, Bucky?’ ‘Do you think she’s lonely, Bucky?’ ‘What happens if someone acts like that asshole back in medical or tries to grab her, Bucky?’_ Moron didn’t even stop to think that you had Agent Carter with yah the whole time.”

 

She scooted up on the bed so she could pass him a kiss or two as a welcome back. “Aw, that’s sweet ah him.” She kissed the cleft of his chin and he shivered underneath her hands—who would’ve known that that’d be a sensitive spot on him? “But not you, huh? You didn’t worry one bit?”

 

“Doll, all I was worried ‘bout was you doin’ something stupid.” Good point, she supposed, even if it didn’t make her happy to hear it. They’d never let her live France down in a hundred years. “No one did hassle you, did they? That fucker didn’t try ‘n—”

 

“ _No_ ,” Quinn replied in exasperated fondness and fisted the front of his shirt so he’d close the short distance between them again. “Christ, y’all act like it was _me_ they sent out on the battlefield. Think the worst problem I had was some greenhorns’ fresh off the boats who wanted my Hancock.” And the fact that she had to sneak around to find some rubbers, but they didn’t need to know that yet.

 

Buck rolled his eyes. “What a real shame it is to be _so_ famous…”

 

“You’re mad ‘cause there’s a bunch ah fellas that don’t know how to keep their hands to themselves.” To retaliate, he moved his head so he could bite down on her neck and she poked him in the ribs. “Act as humble as you want, Barnes, but you’re just as famous as me ‘n Steve. You think I can’t see them ladies that swoon when you walk past ‘em?”

 

“You jealous?” he crooned.

 

“Hell no I ain’t jealous of them ladies.” And because he’d even asked her that question, to be a little bit of an asshole, she shoved at his chest to push him away, and then rolled over on her back. “I feel sorry for them, really, ‘cause they don’t know how much of a shit you really are.”

 

“If _that_ ain’t the God’s honest truth, I don’t know what is.” Steve replied and the mattress dipped down while he slid in beside her on the bed. She turned to face him and he leaned in close with a shit-eating grin, nuzzled his cheek to hers, and teased Buck some more with, “Only reason me ‘n you keep him around is for his dick, ain’t that how it is, baby?”

 

Aw, damn it, Steve knew how hot under the collar it made her when he used that name. “I don’t know.” She hummed and took Steve by surprise when she rolled over on top of him and straddled his waist. While she leaned down to brush her lips over Steve’s, she looked over at Bucky wickedly. “I think his mouth is pretty nice, too.”

 

“But only when it’s between someone’s legs,” Steve murmured lowly and started to kiss at her neck.

 

“Why, ah course,” she agreed and then turned her head to the side so their lips would meet.

 

Bucky huffed and neared her and Steve. “You twos think you’re real fuckin’ funny, don’t you?” She shivered when his hand started to crawl up the back of her dress, toward her zipper. “If you two need some time alone, I can always head back to my room.”

 

“Not sure you’d wanna do that, soldier,” she breathed out and leaned back to sit up. Steve followed her up, started to press kisses at whatever skin available to him, but she pulled away and he blinked in confusion. “You’d miss a hell of a show.” Jesus, her face was on fire, but she hiked up her skirt anyway and pulled out the two rubbers from under her garter belt to show to the boys.

 

It said a lot about them that rather than run out into the streets and do cartwheels, they looked at each other than her, and Steve said for the both of them, “You don’t feel…pressured or nothin’, do you? Because we’re fine—no, not _fine_. We’re really, _really_ happy with how things is now.”

 

“Yeah, well, maybe ‘m not. It ain’t like I haven’t wanted y’all to fuck me until I can’t walk straight, but…” She scrubbed a hand across her face and groaned. “I’m not very…experienced with…nice fellas. That is that, uh—” No way in hell was she about to talk about _that_ in front of them. Jesus, she was terrible at this kind of shit. She covered her face with her hands. “Fuck, this really ain’t sexy, is it?”

 

“Don’t think I’ll walk around with a limp dick ever again after I heard you say _I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk straight_.” Bucky tugged her hands away from her face and brushed his lips over her forehead. “But you want us to fuck you? You’ll have to say what you want, yeah?”

 

"I said it pretty loud ‘n clear, didn’t I?” Her cheeks were really red now. “Jeez, I don’t know, Buck. Guess you can take turns? Just…don’t…” It was hard to articulate what she wanted, that was for damn sure, and she looked at Bucky, desperate for him to take over for her.

 

“Tell us if we do something you don’t like, okay?” He cupped her cheek and touched his forehead to hers. “All you have to do is say stop and that’s the end of it. Like Steve said, we’re fine with what we have. We don’t have to do nothin’ you ain’t comfortable with.”

 

Quinn nodded shyly. “Okay.” To lighten up the mood, she suggested, “So, y’all wanna arm wrestle to see who goes first?” They both snorted and she threw her arms up defensively. “Hey, ‘m just throwing out some ideas here.”

 

“Well, Steve ain’t never been inside a dame before, so he should probably be first since I’ll have to pick up his slack in the sack—ha. Get it?”

 

“Excuse me,” Steve told her politely while he pecked her on the cheek quickly and then he went and deposited her to the side of him, on the mattress. She blinked up at the fan that spun and spun above her while she processed what happened and then huffed, offended. Eyes narrowed, she turned her head to the side and watched Steve lash out to cuff Bucky upside the head. Quinn took the chance to roll away and off the bed while the two boys started to scuffle.

 

“Fellas,” she drawled impatiently and put her hands on her hip to add to the threat--that's what Ma did sometimes when she wanted Pa to look at her. Either they didn't hear her or they didn't care to mind her any attention. “ _Boys_.” Not a peep or look at her. Fine, she'd have to catch their attention another way.

 

Quinn reached around behind her to catch the zipper on her dress and slowly started to pull it down. Halfway down her back, there was silence in the room, and she looked back at them to see that they now had their eyes locked on her. It was like they had a second brain in their dicks that made them sense when sex was on the horizon. “Oh, don't mind me. You keep on with your horseplay.” Once her zipper was all the way down, she dropped her arms to her sides and let her dress slide off her body on its own to pool at her feet. “I can take care of myself.”

 

“How about we do it for you?” Bucky shoved Steve away from him and moved over to take a seat on the edge of the mattress. “Let us take care of you, huh? We’ll treat you so nice, sweetheart. How ‘bout it?” He reached out to settle his hands on her waist. “Gonna let us take it from here?”

 

Quinn put a hand on his shoulder and shoved him back some when he tried to pull her toward him. “Not sure I wanna,” she drawled and reached around for the clasp of her brassiere. “That ain’t nearly as much fun.” She unhooked the clasp and let the straps slide down her shoulders, tossed it to the side somewhere when it slid down far enough for her to take off. “Yeah, this is a hell of a lot more fun,” she added and put her foot up on Bucky’s knee. She wasn’t the least bit ashamed to admit she preened under the attention.

 

“You’re a menace. Didn’t your old lady teach you not to tease fellas this way?” Bucky went to undo her garter belt and she would’ve slapped his hands away and do it herself—so she could tease them some more—but Steve crawled off the bed and walked over to kiss her. It was a desperate kiss, a real dirty one too, and a real distraction because Bucky started to carefully roll down her nylons. He patted her leg when he was done with one and it was a little harder because Steve didn’t want to stop kissing her, but she did put her other leg up so Bucky could finish up.

 

The second that both her feet were back on the floor, Steve pulled her into his arms only so he could guide her back down onto the bed to sprawl out. It didn’t seem to be a mistake that her legs dangled off the side since Bucky went on to slither off the bed and dropped down on his knees between them. “There a reason you two have your clothes on? Feel a little lonely, bein’ the only naked one here.”

 

Steve, at least, shimmied out of his shirt, but Bucky kissed the inside of her thigh, and while she shivered, he told her, “I’ll do it later. ‘M a little busy at the moment.” She lifted her hips when she started to slide down her panties and the second they were off, he set to work immediately.

 

Steve swallowed up her noises with his kisses and lavished her tits with attention. She tried to unbutton his pants so she could get to his dick—because it didn’t seem fair that all the attention was on her—but he stopped her by lacing their fingers together. “I really don’t wanna embarrass myself and shoot off as soon as I’m in you.” he admitted meekly, “So, I don’t think you should even try and touch me.”

 

“Fair enough,” she stammered and then hissed, “Oh, Jesus,” while she reached down to run a hand through Bucky’s dark hair. “ _Fuck_ ,” she moaned when he pushed a finger inside her.

 

When he was up to three fingers, stretching her open and gently thrusting while he sucked at her clit, she had to lean up and grab him by the shoulders when she was close to coming. “Not ‘til someone’s in me,” she explained to him and started to pull him up. “Now, both of you, take your damn clothes off and fuck me already.”

 

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am,” he chuckled against her mouth.

 

Steve had kicked his pants off first and he took Bucky’s place over her, but she pushed him onto his back—it was mostly because she needed to look for wherever the condoms had run off to and she found them hidden under a pillow. Bucky had flopped back onto the bed and was lip-locked with Steve when she turned back around to face them. She ripped open the condom and decided to roll it over Steve’s dick while he was busy with Bucky.

 

“Here you go again,” Bucky sighed when he watched her straddle Steve’s waist. “Don’t be so damn impatient. You’ll hurt yourself.” he warned then leaned up to catch her by the arm with one hand, cupped her cheek with the other, and brushed his lips across hers.

 

Bucky leaned away from her and Steve leaned up so that he was in a sitting position, her still in his lap. He moved his arms around her and slid his hands up and down her back, leaned down to press his face against her collarbone, and she fondly kissed the top of his head. Then, while she clutched one of his shoulders with one hand, she used the other to reach down to guide him where she needed him most and sunk down onto him.

 

Steve’s nails dug into her back and he half-moaned, half-hissed, “Oh _Jesus_.”

 

It could’ve been because of how much Bucky prepped her for this, but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as she’d expected it to. Hell, it didn’t even hurt at all. The fullness that she’d never felt before made her pause, but she could _definitely_ get used to it. Bucky leaned in close, kissed her shoulder, and whispered, “Okay?” into her ear, and she rocked her hips in answer.

 

“ _Really_ okay,” she breathlessly laughed. She moved her other hand up, gripped Steve’s other shoulder, and used them as leverage to lift herself up then back down on his dick. A few more times where she repeated that movement and _holy shit_. Okay. Yes. She was really, really, _really_ okay— _more_ than okay. Steve reached down to grab at her ass and she thought he wanted to cop a feel, but he helped her rock her hips faster.

 

“Yeah, that’s it, sweetheart,” Bucky said into her ear. “That’s perfect. You like it?” She could only moan out an _mmm-hmm_. “Gonna show you somethin’ even better then,” he added and turned his head to look at Steve. “Hey, lay back. Let her bounce on your dick.”

 

Quinn shoved at Steve’s shoulder and he went on his back willingly with a crooked grin. She scolded Buck at the same time with, “That’s fuckin’ filthy, Barnes.” She splayed her hands out on Steve’s chest and he gripped her hips with his hands. Bucky huffed but maneuvered himself so he was plastered against her back. His hands moved around to her tits, and he squeezed one while his other hand slid down and circled her clit. Her head fell back against his shoulder and she whined. “You dirty bastard,” she hissed. “All you wanted was to cop a feel.”

 

“Got me,” Bucky chuckled against her ear.

 

The one who came first between them was Quinn which wasn’t a surprise because she’d been so worked up beforehand. The moment she realized she was on the brink, she gasped and her hands flew down to dig into Steve’s stomach while she grinded down against him. And when she came…motherfucker, was it amazing. When she’d come down from it, she hunched over, cupped Steve’s cheeks in her hands, and didn’t have the chance to kiss him because he started fucking into her with quick, sharp thrusts, and her mouth fell open in a quiet moan. “Come for me, sugar,” she ordered quietly against his lips. His arms moved up from her hips, wrapped around her to crush her against his chest, and he tensed up all over before he came with a loud groan.

 

Quinn tilted her head to the side and watched his expression, how he blinked in astonishment, and then he turned his head to the side and stared at her with a dopey smile that she couldn’t help but shoot back herself. He flipped her over so she was on her back and planted one on her. She snorted and shoved at his shoulder. “Goof,” she said fondly and ran her hand through his hair. “C’mon, we have to tend to Buck now. We’ve been neglectful.”

 

“No, no,” Bucky drawled and dropped down next to her. “That was a fuckin’ hell of a show.” He used a hand to tilt her face toward him and took her bottom lip between his teeth. “I don’t need a turn. I could rub one out for the rest of my life from that show I had just now.”

 

Steve pulled out of her and her face scrunched up in distaste at how weird it felt to be empty after she’d been so full a second before. “Got cold feet, Barnes?” she teased. “I’m a hell of a ride, I know, but you don’t have to be scared. You’ll love it. Ask Steve. He’ll vouch for me.”

 

Said soul mate dropped down on her other side and threw an arm across her stomach while he pressed his face into the side of her head. “Holy _shit_ , Buck. I see what I was missin’ out on all these years. I’m a little mad ‘bout it.” He paused and then pecked her on the cheek. “‘Course, I’m happy I waited ‘til I was with you.”

 

“I’m honored,” she batted her lashes at him and he snorted. “So,” she turned her head to stare at Bucky and held out a hand to him, “we doin’ this or what, Buck?” She wiggled her hips in some half-assed attempt to seduce him. “Getting cold here without a warm body on top of me, y’know.”

 

“Well, if you’re gonna pull my leg about it…”

 

Bucky crawled on top of her and she reached down to wrap her hand around his dick. She raised her brows at him and he shrugged. “Yeah, had to pull your leg so damn hard,” she stroked him once and he groaned. “Why you already got that rubber on, huh?” His eyes narrowed at her and he leaned down to take one of her nipples between his teeth and bit down a little. She squeaked in surprise and then whimpered as he ran his tongue over it to soothe the hurt. “C’mon,” she urged. “Enough teasin’. I want you to fuck me.”

 

“ _Stop_ ,” he leaned down over her so their chests pressed together. “ _Bein’_ ,” he reached between them to grab his dick and brush it teasingly against her pussy. “ _Impatient_ ,” he finished and started to slowly thrust inside her. Maybe he wanted to teach her a lesson about waiting, but he was nowhere near as fast getting fully inside her as Steve—but she’d set the pace with him so that was why.

 

“Make me,” she taunted and wrapped her legs around his waist so she could dig her heels into his ass and push him inside her quicker. He grumbled against her skin, but pushed inside her the whole way, and it felt good to be full again—so good that she sighed contentedly.

 

He nipped at her jaw, her neck, and whispered into her ear, “Wanna ride me, doll-face?” But she understood that there was a question underneath what he asked. She could tell what was on his mind with the way he thrusted slow and shallow inside her and didn’t press down on her with the whole weight of his body.

 

“Nah,” she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled warmly up at him. “Fine like this.” Then, she added cheekily, “I’d be better though if you fucked me for real.”

 

“I try ‘n be sweet—”

 

“Oh, herewe go,” Steve spoke up from next to her and he moved his arm to splay it against her belly, but slowly moved it up toward her tits. “ _Here_ we go. You might as well push him off and let me fuck you again ‘cause you got him started on how ungrateful we are of his romantic gestures and he’ll never shut up.”

 

Bucky moved over so he could kiss Steve hard and that was the kind of show she loved to see. “Smug little shits,” he told them both and snapped his hips against hers fast and hard and she moaned. “Yeah, not so mouthy now, are yah?” he fisted a hand in Steve’s hair which made the blond whimper. “I’ll deal with you later.”

 

“So long as I get to watch,” she chimed in.

 

Since he knew she wasn’t about to shut up until she had what she wanted, Buck kissed her quiet, grabbed her hips, and started to fuck her the way she wanted from the start. Now that she was used to the stretch, there was no reason for him to hold back on her. And because he was pressed down on her, his pelvis rubbed right against her clit, and _fuck, fuck, fuck_. “Right there, Buck,” she groaned as he moved inside her in just the right way. “ _Bucky_ ,” she whined and clutched at him tighter.

 

“Fuck. Oh, baby. Oh, sweetheart,” he groaned into her neck.

 

Same as Bucky had done earlier when he was the spectator, Steve reached down between her and Bucky and started to rub at her clit. It was slow, though, and paired with Bucky’s deep thrusts, it made her toes curl. A familiar heat started to pool in her belly and her back arched. “Please, please, please,” she begged because she was so, so close now, but she had no control of the pace this time. She was at their mercy and if she pleaded enough…

 

Quinn threw a hand down on the empty side of the bed to clench the sheets in her fist and came with what was almost a shout. Steve had to put his lips over hers to swallow up the noise. Bucky leaned up, on his knees, and gripped her hips tighter while he fucked her brutally, too close to his own climax to care about teasing her anymore. She’d had hers and now he wanted his and she goaded him on with, “Come in me, Bucky. Come in me.” And, yeah, he technically would come in the rubber, but it made a hell of a picture to him with how he tossed his head back and came.

 

She threw an arm over her eyes, panted from the exertion and thrill of the night, while Buck pulled out of her and rolled off the bed—probably to strip off the condom and chuck it in the trash. “We do okay, princess?” Bucky asked when he’d flopped back down on the bed beside her.

 

“Yeah. _Yes_ ,” she moved her arm back down to her side and turned over to face Bucky. “I’ll let you two knuckleheads stroke your egos for once—that was fuckin’ amazing.” She rubbed her thumb over the cleft in his chin and pulled him in to give him a sweet kiss. “Thanks.”

 

“Like it’s a chore for us,” Steve scoffed as he pressed in at her back and slid an arm around her waist. “Say, you ready for another round?” Surprise, surprise, she could feel him, hard and hot, pressed up against her ass.

 

She moved to look over her shoulder the best she could and squinted at him. “Don’t have no more rubbers on me,” she warned.

 

Steve grinned slyly. “What difference does it make? We’ve been gettin’ up to fun before now without rubbers.”

 

 

The next morning, Quinn had never been happier to run on only a few hours of sleep in her life.


	19. Asking For Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The future's never seemed brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past two months have been absolutely crazy for me! In December, within a week, I graduated from college, had a birthday, and then had Christmas! The store that I'm currently working at is closing down at the end of this week, but I had a job interview and am starting at my new job at the beginning of February! So, it's been hard to get my writing in, but I promised someone on Tumblr that I'd have this chapter posted by the end of the month, so here it is!

Quinn had been cleared to head back out with the Commandos and had thanked God at the time it’d been announced, but now she’d started to rethink those thanks a week into their newest mission. She’d been cooped up in London and complained about it nonstop the whole time, but damn it all to hell, she’d become so used to it that to be out in Bum-Fuck, Nowhere in the cold, hard dirt—well, in a tent that sat on the cold, hard dirt—made it hard to catch some sleep. She was, at least, still in tip-top shape and could keep up with even Steve and Buck, same as it’d been before her…the incident. She’d been scared that, with how much she was propped up in bed and didn’t do shit other than sit behind a desk at headquarters, that she wouldn’t have been able to keep up with the physical demands once she headed back out.

 

From inside their tent, she rolled over onto her side so she could look up at Steve—the best she could in the darkness, anyway—and he stirred since his arm was around her, but settled down. She didn’t want to wake him, but she was too restless to keep inside and do jack-squat, so she chanced it and squirmed out of his arms. He made a little noise of compliant, which made her huff and smile crookedly, and she leaned over to press a tender kiss to his forehead before she crawled outside the tent.

 

Buck, on watch for the time and seated in front of the small campfire, looked over his shoulder when she stood up and walked toward him. “Howdy, cowboy,” she murmured as playfully as she could with how damn tired she was and he raised a brow at her. “Before you ask,” she interrupted before he opened his mouth, “I couldn’t sleep.” She plopped down beside him and held her hands out to feel the warmth that radiated from the fire.

 

“Bad dreams?” he guessed while he poked at the fire with a stick to keep it alive.

 

“No.” _Not this time_ , she didn’t add, but…maybe it’d been more than London’s comforts that kept her up these days. “It’s…not that, but…” She scrubbed a hand across her face. “Can I—” she blinked then bent her knees, brought them up and hugged them against her chest.

 

He dropped the stick next to him, scooted over a bit closer, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She tensed up, didn’t even realize she had until his touch made her melt some. “C’mon,” he quietly coaxed and put his chin on top of her head. “Tell me.”

 

“I _do_ have dreams,” she admitted. “And it’s not Zola—not _now_ , anyways.” When she kept quiet more than a minute, he used his free hand to poke her in the side and she pulled a sour face. “It’s…that…lieutenant that I dream about—the one that I—” she tried to swallow at the lump in her throat. “The one I…y’know—that I…killed…” She pressed her hands over her face and moaned miserably. “He’s—he _was_ a Nazi, for Christ’s sake. I shouldn’t be so…so beat up about it, should I? I tell myself that, but I can’t stop the dreams and…and it was like this back in London and—”

 

“Hush, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered and pulled her as close as he could, even if she didn’t exactly feel like she deserve sweet touches at the moment. “Fact that you’re so beat up about it means that you’re a good woman, okay? Don’t even doubt that a second, you understand?” He sighed. “What you did was to protect yourself—”

 

Quinn shook her head. “It was to keep _Steve_ safe and we both know it.” She hunched in on herself more. “I could've handled it, if he took me away, if he did what he said he wanted to or, hell, even if he handed me back over to Zola. I would hate every second of whatever they dished out to me, but I would’ve been able to deal with it. But…I would'vedied if they took Steve from us.” Her lips pursed. “Maybe the reason I feel so awful is ‘cause I killed a man out of plain ol’ selfishness. I couldn’t stand to watch him walk away from me—from you—from _us_.”

 

“You're not selfish because you wanted to protect him.”

 

She snorted. “We're both a wee biased when it comes to Steve, don't you think? You ask anyone else, what do you think they’d say about it?”

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose for a second before he tried again with, “Look, even if the three of us wasn't soul mates, Steve’s…he's Captain America, and he's not a show pony anymore, either. The second Hydra had their dirty hands on him, you ‘n me both know what they’d do to him. Schmidt and Zola, if they ended up with all that sensitive information in their hands…c’mon, you know that the brass is happier than hell you did what you did.” He blinked then turned to look her dead in the eyes, asked, “If it’d been me who took the shot and I was so beat up over it, what’d you say to me, huh?”

 

“That's—”

 

“So help me God, Quinn, if you say it's not the same, I'll wake Steve up. You want that? I'll do it. And he'll make that face—you know the one.” He tried his best to imitate the look, how Steve’s face would scrunch up and there’d be a little wrinkle in his brow, like somehow Quinn couldn’t remember what it looked like.

 

Still, she couldn't help but smile a little at him. She knew all he wanted to do was make her feel better. “Bucky, you always talk about how much you wanna fuck him when he makes that—and these are your words— _cute little face_.” She took a deep breath, let it out, and then her body slowly relaxed after a minute or two. “Dirty pool, Barnes, making me smile like that.”

 

"Sorry for wanting my best gal to smile,” he replied without a bit of apology in his voice. “You remind me what a dime you are when you smile, you know that?” She blushed and ducked her head and his lips brushed over her cheek. “Don't get bashful on me, doll. You're beautiful, Quinn. You know you are.”

 

“Guess you're not all that bad, either,” she breathed out past her embarrassment, turned her head to the side so she could sweetly kiss him. “Stop being so sweet on me.”

 

Buck smiled into the kiss. “No. I can't help it. ‘M addicted to it, baby doll.” He started to pepper kiss over her cheeks, her forehead, nuzzled his nose against hers. “And you really shouldn't deny a man when he wants to treat his sweetheart nice.”

 

“I hate you,” she teased. “I'm supposed to feel sorry for myself and here you are, being a…a really sweet fella.” She shifted around in his arms so she could raise up her hand and stroke his cheek. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”

 

“You’d crash and burn without me around to take care of your ass,” he boasted then added, “Steve, too,” a second after.

 

“Shut up.” A pause and then she admitted, “Yeah, actually, I think that's true.” She blinked at him a couple of times then smiled slyly. “Hey, since we're both up…maybe I could, uh, show you how much I appreciate what you do for me and Steve. What about it?”

 

Bucky cocked his head to the side and squinted at her in suspicion. “You're a terrible influence. I think you're worse ‘n Steve,” but he didn't bat her hands away when they landed on his belt. “It's cold as fuck out here and you want to…well, you want to fuck around is what you wanna do.”

 

"Maybe not _that_ , cause it _is_ cold as shit out here,” she conceded. She stumbled to her feet and leaned down to take his hands, tried to pull him up to his feet, but to be an ass, he wouldn't move. “But,” she leaned in close to his ear, nipped at the lobe, “Maybe I could suck you off, huh?”

 

When she turned her head back to the side, he kissed her, worried her bottom lip between his teeth in a way that made her shiver. “You don't ever quit, do you? Give a man a break, why don't yah?”

 

“Can't help it, ‘m addicted to you,” she threw back at him.

 

“Full of shit, that’s what you are,” he mumbled. When he clambered to his feet, he threw an arm around her waist to stop her before she started to pull him back toward the tree line, and cupped her face in his hands. “You wanna talk dirty pool,” he drawled, “You want to distract me with a suck job.”

 

The man knew her well, she’d let him have that much, because he was on the money—but she wasn’t about to let him know that. “Got no idea what you’re talkin’ about, sugar,” she lied and then reached a hand down to rub at his dick through his pants. “Now, how about the two of us shut up and head somewhere more private?”

 

“Look, stop a second,” he wrapped up both her hands in his own, pulled them up toward his face, and placed a kiss where they were intertwined. “I know how this works—your little plan, I mean. I don’t want to fuck only ‘cause you don’t want to talk to me.”

 

“I really _do_ want to suck your dick,” she explained and then, quieter, confessed, “But…you should know…that there’s another reason I haven’t been able to sleep. Back in London—Hazard is so quiet compared to London, so it’s always hard to sleep at headquarters and you two weren’t around to help—” she shook her head. “It’s so…loud now. It’s so damn loud and I can’t sleep, not even out here where it's as quiet as home.”

 

Bucky frowned in confusion. “What? You mean—”

 

“It’s loud _everywhere_ ,” she answered and moved one hand away to rub at her ear absentmindedly. “I can hear…more than I should be able to? I think that, back in France, when I tried to run …I ran faster than I ever have before, faster than a normal person should, and maybe you could blame the adrenaline, but I hadn’t even broke a sweat when they shot me down. And remember when you came to me, when you’d been sliced, and were scared because you healed too fast? I _know_ I shouldn’t have healed as fast as I did from where I was shot.” To admit this out loud, it made her scared, and her voice shook when she added, “I’m _changing_ , Bucky, and so are you.”

 

Bucky chewed on his bottom lip and she anxiously waited for some kind of a response. “Have you told anyone about it? ‘Bout any of this?”

 

“No,” she shook her head. “Haven’t told a soul, I swear. I…well, Doctor Jacobs, he didn’t seem so keen to show me my blood work, so maybe he suspects somethin’, but he ain’t talked to me about it yet.”

 

He nodded. “Yeah, we should keep it that way—for now,” he added quickly when she opened her mouth to complain about it. “We’ll talk to everyone about this after the war’s won. We can't afford to be away from the SSR to turn into…glorified science experiments. If anyone suspects it of us or Doc Jacobs comes out with his theories then we’ll come clean, but I don’t think anyone will care all that much so long as we do our jobs.”

 

Okay, yeah, she could understand where he came from. The SSR couldn’t afford to lose them to have tests run on them and unless they went off the rails or something of the like, Phillips would probably turn his head to any kind of concerns about their…newly enhanced health. But, “What about Steve?” she asked quietly. He didn’t answer off the bat, so she tried again. “Buck?” No answer. She was concerned now. “Bucky, we have to tell him.”

 

“Quinn, you _know_ he’ll blame himself for it. He’ll tell himself that it was because he was a success that Schmidt and Zola tried harder to recreate the serum and took us.” Maybe that was true, but it didn’t sit well with her to…to lie to Steve like that. “We should wait until after the war to tell him, too. Once we’re home, in the States, the _three_ of us, I promise that we’ll tell him, but we shouldn’t worry him no more than he needs to be, right?”

 

“There was a time, almost a year back, when you were awful sore at me because I kept secrets from you ‘n Steve and now you want me to keep another,” she pointed out sourly. Then, she sighed loudly and mumbled after another second, “You’re right, but you have to see how fucked in the head this all is.”

 

Bucky shrugged but at least he had the decency to look guilty. “That was to protect Steve, same as this is.” She scowled down at the dirt and he breathed out, “C’mere,” and pulled her into his arms. “I know this is a lot to ask and I know you don’t like it. I’m sorry to ask it of you.”

 

“Damn right you are,” she grumbled and shoved her face into the front of his jacket. “He finds out about this and I’m blaming you.”

 

“Not unless I blame you first,” he shot back and she socked him one right in the stomach.

 

\---

 

How Quinn came to see it was that both her and the Commandos had their own battles, but where the fellas used bullets for theirs, she used needles and tourniquets. Both their battles, the boys with other men and hers with time and wounds, could be bloody and messy and, on occasion, there were death on both sides. When the boys would make it back to camp, that would be when Quinn sets to her own work—whether she stitched up the fellas themselves or whatever troops they were sent to help out.

 

That would be no different because it happened to also be her birthday.

 

“Stop that,” she scolded and whacked Steve on the back of his hand. “You're supposed to smile and cheer up the troops. Boost morale and all that,” she drawled and waved a hand to motion toward the wounded men she and the other medics moved back and forth between. “We didn't celebrate yours or Buck’s or anyone else’s, so it's only fair we don't worry about mine,” she pointed out and then smiled at her patient and patted him on the shoulder. “There yah are, sir. Get some rest, that's a nurse’s orders.”

 

“Thank you, ma'am, and, uh, happy birthday too, Miss Hayden.” The soldier blushed, ducked his head, and rubbed his upper arm. “Jeez, you can hit me if you want, but I have a sweetheart at home who hasn't shut up about how much she looks up to you these days and how much she wants to be a nurse like you and, well…do you mind—”

 

It was Quinn's turn to turn red, but she smiled a little wider and told him, “You promise to treat your lady nice and I'll even have Captain Sourpuss over there get in on this.” The soldier scrambled to pull out a little notebook and flipped open to a blank page. “C’mon, whiner,” she chirped and waved Steve, who pouted even more, over.

 

“We're a bunch of schmucks, but you're a lady who deserves to have a special birthday,” Steve complained while he signed the man’s notebook underneath where she had scrawled messily. “You should've stayed back in London where it could be celebrated properly. You could've even had a Thanksgiving, too. You shouldn't be out here in…this.” He waved around at the tents and men. “No offense meant, private,” he added quickly toward the soldier who waved it off easily.

 

“Okay, now you sound like Buck.” She rolled her eyes, looked around, and then grabbed Steve by the arm and pulled him out of the medical tent. She made sure they were out of earshot of nosy soldiers before she softly explained, “It's sweet, it is, but it wouldn't be a birthday worth having if y'all weren't there for it.” There were too many eyes around for her to kiss him publicly or be too affectionate—which pissed her off, if she had to be honest—but the way his face softened at what she said seemed to speak enough to let her know she didn't need to reassure him anymore. But, she still went on to elaborate, “You and Buck mean the world to me now, y’know. If it came down to muddy trenches with you both or stuck in London, behind a desk, with Howard, the prick that he is, on my ass the whole time, you have to know I would pick you lunk-heads.”

 

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, red in his cheeks now—and plenty adorable, she might add. “Me ‘n Buck will figure some way to make today special for you, on my honor, I swear we will.”

 

“Hmm,” she hummed dismissively. “Pa always warned me about you city boys. Do you two even have any honor left?”

 

“Hey,” he playfully complained. “It's Buck you should be careful about. I'm an angel.”

 

“Steven Grant Rogers, your momma would roll over in her grave if she heard you spitting out those bold-faced lies,” she scolded and he shrugged, didn't even look one bit sorry. “I have to head back in there. Go on and rest up with the rest of the fellas since you're no good to these troops with those sour faces of yours.” She patted him on the shoulder and if her hand lingered longer than it maybe should have, she didn't care one bit.

 

 

 

It had been late by the time Quinn made it back to the Commandos’ campsite, so late that everyone had went to bed and no one would see her climb into Steve and Bucky’s tent that they shared—not that any of the other fellas would care that much about it. Both her boys were awake when she crawled inside and slipped between the two of them.

 

As it turned out, her birthday present turned out to be Bucky kissing her quiet while Steve licked and fucked into her with his fingers until she came. Then, it would be Bucky’s turn to make her come. And _then_ the _both_ of them went down on her together while she shoved her fist into her mouth and tried not to scream. After that, she’d been too sensitive and exhausted to keep on anymore, but because Ma and Pa raised her up the right way, it was only fair that she used her hand to get them both off before the three of them curled up together.

 

“Happy birthday, Quinn,” they both said practically at the same time and she couldn’t help but laugh out loud—to which they both shushed her.

 

“Thank you,” she told them both and kissed each of them goodnight before they all drifted off to sleep.

\---

 

Surprise, surprise, Christmas had them on a mission, too. They ended up stranded in an Italian countryside, soaked and frozen to the bone. Thankfully, they found an old abandoned farmhouse to hole out in…well, her, Steve, and Bucky, anyway. When the Commandos insisted that they’d camp out in the barn—“a lady shouldn’t sleep out in the hay with a bunch of stinking men,” Monty had claimed, in that polite British manner of his that Pinky could learn a thing or two from—she squinted at both Steve and Bucky.

 

“Okay, what’re y’all up to?” she demanded to know.

 

“Nothin’,” Bucky answered then nudged her in the shoulder. “C’mon, ‘m freezing my ass off here.”

 

The house hadn’t been in too bad condition, so whoever owned it must’ve ran out not too long ago. When the three of them made it to the master bedroom and saw that there was a bathroom with actual functioning water—”Holy _shit_ ,” Steve had whistled when he saw it—she looked between the two of them and asked, just to be a shit about it, “So, did you kick the fellas out to the barn before or after you knew about this?”

 

“Look—” Steve tried to start while Bucky downright ignored her and started to strip down. “Look, we’ll let the fellas have their turns tomorrow.” She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at him. “Aw, c’mon, Quinn, they offered before we even had the chance to ask them!” He defended and his jaw stuck out mulishly. “They guessed we’d have somethin’ special planned for you and…well, let’s say they said they wouldn’t want to hear what we’d be up to tonight.”

 

“We bribed them with your moonshine stash, too, because that'd warm them up fast, right?” Bucky added over the roar of the water pouring into the bathtub. “Just so you know,” he added with a sly smirk.

 

Quinn’s mouth dropped. “You—” She threw her hands up in the air. “I _told_ y’all to never let them know about that, you dicks! I’m never gonna see any of that again,” she whined. Still, it wasn’t like she’d broken it out recently…at least _someone_ would put it to proper use. “What the blue hell do y’all have planned that’s so special anyway, huh?”

 

“It’s a _surprise_ ,” Bucky drawled. He put his hands on his hips and then waved toward the tub. “Now, you two plan to join me in here anytime soon or what?” And Quinn, the mature person that she was, shoved her knuckles into her mouth to keep from cackling too loudly. Bucky frowned and squinted at her. “What’s so damn funny?”

 

“You’re not exactly… _scary_ when you’re in the buff. A limp dick doesn’t put the fear of God in people,” she teased.

 

Steve started to snicker beside her and Bucky, who’d went red, flushed even more. “You’re a goddamn piece of work, Hayden, you know that? You’re a little shit,” he snapped and dropped down into the tub. “You two can entertain yourselves for all I care, yeah? I’ll take my sweet time and relax in here myself and maybe I’ll even jerk off—who knows?”

 

“Aw,” she cooed and strolled over to kneel down the outside of the tub. She positioned herself so that she was behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressed a kiss to his neck. “Don’t be like that, baby.” She splayed her hands across his chest. “You know how much I love your dick, don’t matter if it’s limp or not.”

 

Where she’d expected him to snort or pout some more, Bucky instead turned his head to the side and his mouth ghosted over her own. “My dick the only thing about me that you love?”

 

Quinn took a deep breath and tried to calm down her heart that’d kicked up a storm inside her chest. “No. No, it’s not,” she answered quietly and suddenly stood up because she needed to be naked and in the tub with her fellas then and _there_. “Why, there’s your _dashing_ personality. That’s nice, too,” she conversed while both she and Steve started to fumble to undress themselves—because Steve had gotten with the program, too. “And, uh, you always know how to make a gal feel special and smile—but you do that with all the ladies, don’t you?”

 

Oh, goddamn it, she couldn't do it—she was about to chicken out. It only made sense that Bucky would ask that because he probably felt the same, but what if he meant it as a joke? What if they honestly really didn't feel the same? _Why_ did she have to overthink this shit so much? Her brain always went into overdrive anytime someone even hinted a little bit that she meant something to them. Jesus, she needed to calm down.

 

“Move up, Bucky,” Steve huffed and shoved at Bucky’s shoulder so he would scoot up in the tub. “C’mon,” Steve then told her with a shy smile and held out his hand. “We'll make it work out.” He motioned toward the tub. Her eyes had dropped down and she’d started to chew on her bottom lip, so he must've assumed she was skeptical about how the three of them would fit inside.

 

She climbed in after Steve had settled and sat between his knees, then, with her heart still kicking up a storm in her chest, pulled Bucky back between her own thighs and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Then, she whispered near his ear, “You know I love you, Bucky.”

 

Bucky tilted his head to the side, reached a hand around to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “You know I love you too, Quinn,” he shot back and she couldn't help but breathe a quiet sigh of relief while she grinned like a goof at him at the same time. “You really think I'd leave you out to hang like that?”

 

“I don't know? Maybe? If you didn't—and I'm not exactly—” At her back, Steve pressed his face into the top of her head and she could feel his own smile. “Get that look off your face, Rogers,” she flicked him on the knee but he just laughed. “Shut up. Look at me,” she demanded and he leaned to the side enough so she could run a hand over his cheek. “I love you, too, Steve.”

 

“You shouldn't have ever doubted how much we care about you—okay, I can see Buck because he's always played his cards close to the chest.” He squawked and his leg jerked, so Buck must've either tickled or pinched his foot or something. “What? It's true, you jerk! You know how long it took me to get the guts to say it to you too?” Bucky snorted and she rolled her eyes at the two of them. Steve caught her attention again when he pecked her on the lips, kiss sugary sweet. “I love you, Quinn.”

 

Quinn was probably redder in the face than she’d ever been before in her whole life—and she’d done some pretty embarrassing stuff, too. “Good. Great.” She ducked her head down and leaned her forehead between Bucky's shoulder blades. “I love you both with my whole heart, so you know.”

 

“What was that?” Bucky joked. “I couldn't hear you.”

 

“Y'all are so mean to me,” she whined with a smile on her face.

 

 

Whoever had owned the winery that the Commandos were now holed up in had done pretty damn well for themselves if the nice towels and even nicer, big bed were much to go by—which brought up the questions: is what they're in still considered a farmhouse if they're on a winery and, more importantly, what had the people leave in such a hurry if they were so well-off. She didn't spend too much time to ponder her questions because while seated on the edge of the bed, as she toweled off her hair, Bucky saddled up behind her, settled her between his legs, and started to pepper kisses across her neck.

 

“You want somethin’, Barnes?”

 

"Hell yes I want something.” His hands started to move down from her shoulders, down her sides and hips, and then landed on her thighs. “Question is,” he drawled while his fingers started to crawl inward, toward the center of her, “do you want the same thing as me?”

 

Quinn sighed and dropped the towel on the floor before she tilted her head back onto his shoulder. “I think I could make a little time for you, yeah,” she husked and her breath hitched when his fingers dropped to run over her seam. “Oh,” she moaned when he thumbed at her clit. “Oh, Bucky,” she breathed out and her hands moved to grip at his thighs while he slowly started to circle the sensitive nub. “Yeah,” she encouraged when he then slid a finger inside her. “That's just fine. Just…like…that,” she gasped when he started to thrust his finger, started up a rhythm.

 

“Aw, c’mon, you started without me?” Steve grumbled as he padded back into the main bedroom with her and Bucky, a towel wrapped around his waist. “And you know what? This wasn’t even what we had planned, Buck,” he chided and yet, he crouched down in front of her, batted Bucky’s hand away, and lapped at her pussy a few times. “ _Yet_ ,” the little shit added before licked at her again and moaned, too, like she was the best thing he’d ever tasted. “We was supposed to give her the presents first,” he reminded Bucky and slid a finger inside her which made it real hard to concentrate on what he said…

 

…but not to where she didn’t understand what he said. “Aw—” she squeaked when he leaned down to lick in beside his finger and his nose bumped at her clit which sent a sharp bolt of pleasure up her spine. “You—you wasn’t—” she gasped and fisted her hand in Steve’s hair. “I said _no presents_ , damn it. Fuck, you sons of a bitches, this isn’t fair. Oh _God_ —” she hiked a leg over Steve’s shoulder.

 

“Hmm,” Bucky hummed and cupped her tit, thumbed at a nipple, nibbled at the skin of her neck he could reach. “Maybe we should fuck her before, Steve. She’s not so much a pussycat when we’ve fucked her stupid,” he drawled.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Barnes.” She moaned and started to grind against Steve’s mouth. He groaned against her which, in turn, made her moan in bliss, and grabbed her hips to haul her closer, licked and fucked into her quicker. “Swear—swear to God…all you do is— _hah_ —run your mouth—” While Bucky chuckled into her ear, Steve slid another finger in beside the one, flicked his tongue against her clit quickly, and pushed her over the edge.

 

When the waves of pleasure died down, Quinn panted and blinked a couple of times. Gears turned inside her head and Steve, who noticed that she wasn’t exactly focused on him, stuffed a third finger inside of her and she gasped. “What is it?” he asked with a little pout on his lips—probably upset that he couldn’t keep her attention.

 

“I-I have an idea,” she grabbed at his wrist and pushed it away, breath hitching when his fingers slid out of her. “One of you has some slick, don’t yah?”

 

“Yes?” Steve answered, unsure about where she was headed.

 

Quinn grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up so she could lick into his mouth. “ _You_ ,” she nipped at his bottom lip, “are gonna go grab a rubber and that slick. Then, when you come back, you’ll fuck me while Bucky fucks you stupid at the same time.”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” he breathed out, eyes wide. “Okay, yeah, let me run ‘n…yeah.”

 

Bucky, from where he had his chin on her shoulder, huffed in amusement as the two of them watched Steve scramble for their packs. “Look at you, Hayden, tossin’ out orders to our boy.” He bit down on her shoulder, laved at the hurt with his tongue, and she clucked at him because he wasn’t supposed to leave marks where people could see them. “You know how much I love it when you boss him around like that, sweetheart?”

 

“Just him?” she teased while she turned her head to the side and kissed him, deep and filthy. He smiled against her mouth at the tease. “We’ll need to take another bath after this, I know it.”

 

When Steve came back, rubber and slick in hand, both she and Bucky manhandled him into the bed—as if it was that much of a hassle to force him into a bed with them both. He crawled onto the mattress, on his hands and knees, and then he stretched out, rolled his body against the mattress sinfully—still as pretty as a goddamn picture, of course—and Quinn ran a hand over his spine while Bucky groaned out loud at the sight of Steve.

 

“Goddamn tease,” Bucky rumbled and slapped Steve on the ass playfully.

 

Steve didn’t have the chance to sass because Quinn sprawled out on her side and put her hand on Steve’s cheek to turn it toward her and kiss him. He leaned away from her for a second so he could move around and flop down on his back, and then he reached up, curled an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her down to kiss her senseless. It was her turn to move so that she straddled his waist and his arm moved down to grip her by the ass. She grinded her pussy against his dick and he groaned into her mouth which shot up in pitch. She looked over her shoulder and Bucky, who’d started to circle a slick finger around Steve’s hole, winked at her.

 

Once Bucky deemed Steve ready—thank the Lord because Steve whined nonstop with, “C’mon, Bucky, ‘m ready. I ain’t about to break on your dick, ‘s not _that_ big,” and Quinn had to slap his thigh so he’d shut up—they all had to maneuver themselves around to make it work out. Quinn and Steve switched positions, with her flat on her back, and Steve between her legs. She may’ve licked her lips while she watched Steve tear the condom packet open and roll the rubber on his dick and Steve, the actual fucking tease, put on a show for her when he noticed it.

 

Quinn pulled Steve down to kiss him when he started to ease into her and she moaned into his mouth as he did. When he was inside her the whole way and rocked against her once, Bucky, at Steve’s back, started to slide inside Steve then. It was a little awkward at first, where to put their limbs without hurting or getting in one another’s way, but they made it work somehow. She couldn’t help but giggle about it a little which, in turn, made the other two laugh.

 

“If _this_ is the worst problem we have to deal with,” Steve drawled from where she’d accidentally kneed him in the ribs, “then I think I’ll die a happy, happy man.” Bucky snorted and turned Steve’s head to the side so he could kiss him. Quinn took the chance to slide her hands over Bucky’s where he had them on Steve’s hips.

 

Finally, they established a rhythm—each time that Bucky thrusted into Steve, it would make Steve fuck into her harder. With Steve inside her and Bucky inside Steve, those dual sensations, it made sense that he’d come quicker than her or Bucky. After he came, because he was a gentleman and she hadn’t come, he made her sit on his face while Bucky kept on fucking him. She’d been too turned to last too much longer and Bucky captured her lips in a heated kiss when she came, grinding against Steve’s face. Bucky came chasing after her over the edge not too long after.

 

 

The three of them had to clean up _again_ , not like she was about to complain. Both she and Steve ended up underneath the blankets, wrapped up in each other, while Bucky messed around in their packs. When he slid in behind her, she squeaked into Steve’s mouth as something cool brushed against her shoulder.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Bucky murmured and kissed the side of her head while, in her hand, he dropped a set of…dog tags?

 

Quinn rolled over onto her back and held them up so she could take a closer look. She ran her thumb over each tag, the engraved names of her soul mates. “How’d you…?” She shook her head, leaned up on an elbow, and tried to pass them back to Bucky. “No, you can’t let me have these. I know you both gave each other your second tag, so you can’t run around without at least one—”

 

“We still have one with our name on it, don’t worry.” Bucky explained with a shake of his head. “We had Howard make another copy so you’d have your own, okay?”

 

“Oh.” Quinn’s brows furrowed and she clutched the tags against her chest. “Oh…I…” She blinked back tears. “You didn’t have to do this,” she whispered. “I already have your names on me.”

 

Steve raised up on his elbow and pressed his chin on her shoulder. “We don’t exactly have access or money for a ring. Plus, we wouldn’t want it to get ruined or have the papers lose their shit over seeing you with a ring on your finger. So, we thought that maybe this would work a little better.”

 

Quinn laughed wetly and dropped back onto the mattress. “Last time I checked, three people can’t get married.”

 

“You can always marry one of us,” Bucky retorted. “Shit, we don’t even _have_ to get married, but we could still wear some rings, and no one but us three would ever have to know what they meant.” He curled the chain the dog tags were attached to around his finger. “But we don’t have to worry about that until we make it back to the States. For now, this is our way of asking you…if…y’know—”

 

“We’re asking you for forever,” Steve blurted on both their behalfs.

 

Quinn laughed and laughed while happy tears continued to slide down her cheeks. She kissed her red-faced fellas and explained, “I’ll give you my answer after I make Howard make a copy of mine.” She continued to pepper sweet kisses across their cheeks and noses and wherever else she could reach. “In case you didn’t get it, that means yes. Forever sounds real damn good to me.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have no idea if wartime nurses overseas actually had dog tags, but if they didn't, then let's just say it's a requirement for any SSR agents out in the field during the war.  
> So, I'm not sure how many chapters there are gonna be, but you should be aware that the end of the story is coming up! If you've been keeping up with the [Tumblr](http:///www.quinnhayden.tumblr.com) for the story, then you know about which direction the story's headed.  
> Heads up! There's going to be a lot of angst coming up soon!  
> Thank you so much for your support throughout this story! I love each and every one of you who reads this!


	20. Interlude: Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The quiet before the apocalypse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the deal, this chapter is literally less than a thousand words. It's meant to be a little bridge between the last chapter (which was filled to the brim with schmoop) and the next chapter (which is going to literally be the angstiest to date). You all know what's coming. I'm sorry to be a tease!  
> (Also, **XxBlindXxAngelXx** wanted to know about Quinn's future. A little bit back, I asked you guys to take a poll about the future and I won't go into too much detail, but everything is going to stick to canon. Quinn is going to be left behind and will age extremely slowly due to her version of the serum and only be a little physically older in the future when she meets up with Steve and then Bucky.)

Steve, exhausted from the competition Quinn and Bucky had to see how many times he could come before he tapped out, was sprawled out underneath the covers. True to what they swore they’d do, he was knocked out. Sleepily, before he fell asleep, he’d told her to wake him up before she headed back to her own quarters, but she decided that he would live if she let him sleep instead. Quinn went to strip out of Steve’s undershirt that she’d thrown on when she was too cold in the buff, but Bucky snatched her wrist, and she was sure he was ready for another round, the two of them by themselves, but he pulled her to his chest and whispered, “Dance with me?”

 

“Why not?” she teased and raised an eyebrow when he started to sway from side to side, no real official kind of dance in the way he moved. “What? No music?” She looped her arms around his shoulders and he smiled down at her. “It ain’t no fun if there ain’t no music.”

 

“Who says?” he shot back. “Look, you want some music? I’ll let you have some music. People tell me I have a real sweet voice—”

 

Quinn snorted and leaned up to press her face into the crook of his neck. “Shut up, you mook.” She kissed him on the neck and then frowned. “I’m happy we’re back in London. I don’t know how much more Steve could’ve handled out there,” she admitted quietly.

 

“I know,” he murmured.

 

There had been too much death on their latest mission. Well, one death was too much, but it’d been…terrible. It’d hit the Commandos hard, but Steve took it to heart, especially when the top-brass would put him out there to lead on the frontlines.

 

“Gonna burn out, our boy is, unless we make him stop,” she warned. Maybe it made her a monster, to want Steve to care a little less, but she’d rather die than see what happened when he broke under the burden he continued to carry on his shoulders.

 

Bucky took a deep breath, let it out, and then retorted with, “This is _Steve_ , Quinn. It wouldn’t be him if he didn’t love with his whole damn heart ‘n soul. He’s—he’s—”

 

“Like the sun?” she supplied for him and he nodded in response. “He keeps everyone warm and safe, sure, but he can’t do that forever. What’ll happen then?”

 

“I think he can.” Yeah, even Buck didn’t sound convinced and he’d been the one to say the words. “Y’know, once upon a time, this little lady told me that Steve was the man who could stand to share a little of his love with the world.” She smiled and remembered that cool, November day, when they’d barely even known one another. “She said that he could do it because he had two soul mates to feed him back his love. What happened to the lady that said that, huh?”

 

Quinn stopped their dance so she could look up at him, out of her mind in love. “She fell in love with two stupid boys.” She reached down and took both his hands in hers and leaned up on her tiptoes to brush her lips over his. “And now she’s a little bit selfish and hates to see her fellas hurt any.”

 

“Soon, this fuckin’ war’ll be over,” Bucky declared and kissed her deeply. “It’ll be over and we’ll head back to the States. And, baby, just for you, we’ll buy a farm in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere and no one will ever find us and we’ll do whatever the hell we want.”

 

Quinn blinked back her tears and pecked him everywhere she could reach—the dimple of his chin, his cheeks, his nose, his lips, his forehead. “You said it yourself, Bucky. A _farm_.” He grinned against her mouth when he leaned down to kiss her again. “I’m holding you to that.”

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His eyes were warm when he told her, “I love you, Quinn.”

 

“Love you too, Bucky.”

 

Bucky started up their little dance after that and, in the quiet of the room, aside from Steve’s soft snores, he started to hum _You Are My Sunshine_.

 

\---

 

The next day, the Commandos were told they'd be shipped out to the Alps.


	21. On Your Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"On your way to God,_   
>  _Did you think of me?_   
>  _On your way to heaven,_   
>  _Did you say 'I'll see you again'?"_   
>    
>  _On Your Way -- **Alabama Shakes**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the chapter you've all been both waiting for and dreading. Honestly, I don't think there's much I can say to this. I hope that it isn't too horrible or that you don't hate me too much. So, just to let you know, the next chapter will probably be the last and there might be an epilogue after that. Oh God, I can't believe that I'm actually saying that. Thank you so much for everyone who's read this and who's sent me stuff on the Tumblr I made for this story. By the way, if you want to see additional prompts (like AU's and stuff) then hit up the Tumblr!  
> Have fun with the angst!

“Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?”

 

“Yeah, and I threw up?”

 

“This isn’t payback, is it?”

 

“Now why would I do that?”

 

Quinn stared out at the mountains, at the cable that her boys would have to slide down and then drop onto the top of a train—a _train_ that would move very, very, _very_ fast. Jesus, even for the Commandos, this _had_ to be one of the more reckless shit they’d planned. She pulled her coat closer around her, tried to swallow her panic, and shivered from more than the cold when she stared a little too much at the distance between where they were and the bottom of the mountains. Swear to God, this time, the intel better have panned out because she’d shove her foot up someone’s ass if her fellas—and not Steve and Bucky alone, but _all_ the Commandos—were needlessly put at risk.

 

Oh, Mother, Mary, and Joseph, she’d went and turned into Ma…

 

“Hey,” Steve murmured as he stepped up by her side. “Get that look off your face. You’re too pretty to have that look stuck on you your whole life.” She scowled even more out of spite and he beamed at her while he leaned down to peck her on the cheek.

 

And, yeah, okay, maybe that warmed her up a little. Still, she had to ask, “So, this is what I need to do to make you blow your load? I need to throw you off a mountain?” Because the man was a little too excited for this part of the mission.

 

The whole platoon’s laughter echoed across the mountains. “I’m not _that_ bad,” he defended and his cheeks went red from both the cold wind and embarrassment.

 

“You are,” Bucky retorted as he threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close which she happily went with because he was warm. “I’ll take care of him, doll. Make sure to keep him in line, y’know? It’ll be the same as if you was there with us.”

 

And then the frown was back on her face. “I still don’t see why I’m not allowed to come with y’all.” She’d swore to everyone and God that she would listen to orders, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make them see her case and rethink their decisions. “What if someone’s hurt on that train, huh? And your _nurse_ isn’t there to help? You’ll be up the river without a paddle until you stop and I show up.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s stupid as hell _not_ to have me there.”

 

“You still scared of heights?” Dum-Dum taunted and she blushed when he pointed out, “Which I don’t see why you are because we’re up in planes all the damn time.”

 

“That’s _not the same_ ,” she hissed. “Why do you think I don’t look out the windows when we’re in the air? Or why do you think I try ‘n sleep as much as I can. It’s so I don’t have to think about how far up in the air we are and I don’t have to see the far-away ground—wait, I don’t have to say _shit_ to you, asshole.”

 

Dum-Dum, the smug shit, smirked and waggled his brows. “And here I was pretty sure that the reason you sleep so much on the planes is ‘cause the Cap ‘n Sarge wear you out so much the nights before we ship out.”

 

“Dum-Dum, you bloody buffoon, you don’t speak like that in front of a lady,” Falsworth chastised and punched the mentioned asshole in the shoulder.

 

While the two of them bickered back and forth, Bucky leaned in close and brushed his lips over the shell of her ear. “We’ll be _fine_ , sweetheart,” he assured her and she shivered when he added, “And once we’re back on the ground, we can celebrate my birthday ahead of time, yeah?”

 

Steve, who’d overheard, snorted. “Your birthday ain’t for another week. Are you about to use that excuse the whole week leading up whenever you want somethin’ to go your way?”

 

“Fellas,” she drawled and put each of her hands on their chests, rolled her eyes. “Behave.”

 

Finally, Gabe and Morita, who’d both been hunched over a stolen Hydra radio that the both of them had tried to crack to make sure their intel was correct, must’ve heard what they needed to. Gabe confirmed that, “We were right.” Then, he went on to explain, “Doctor Zola’s on the train. Hydra dispatcher just gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going, they must need him bad.”

 

So, this was it then.

 

Headquarters—and pretty much her and the whole team—had noticed that Hydra had become more and more desperate to do…whatever it is they wanted to do. Zola…he’d be their way inside Schmidt’s demented brain, he’d tell them what they needed to know. With that rat bastard, Zola, they could end this damned war with Hydra once and for all. Sure, the whole war itself wouldn’t be won, but call her naïve, she believed that once their war was done with Hydra then maybe…maybe her and Steve and Bucky could head home.

 

Quinn’s future with her fellas…it seemed so close now that she could taste it.

 

Monty spotted the train in the distance with his binoculars. “Let’s get going because they’re moving like the devil.”

 

The three of them—she, Steve, and Buck—looked between one another, let the seriousness and implications of the mission set in. She took a deep breath and let it out while Steve tugged on his helmet and he, Buck, and Gabe readied their little pulleys that’d help them slide down the cable.

 

As she’d started to do ever since Christmas, before one or both of them rushed into some stupid, risky as fuck situation, she made sure to kiss them on the cheek and whisper, “I love you,” into their ears. None of the Commandos minded to see it, but…well, call her selfish, but she liked to keep _I love you_ ’s between them and them alone.

 

“Aw, what about me?” Gabe pouted and, as she rolled her eyes, she leaned in to peck him on the cheek, too.

 

“We only got about a ten second window,” Steve explained as he threw his pulley onto the line. She then prayed to God for the strength to steel her nerves when he warned, “You miss that window…we’re bugs on a windshield.”

 

“Mind the gap,” Monty dryly shot back.

 

“Better get going bugs!” Dum-Dum called out as the train came into view.

 

A lump in her throat, Quinn watched as Dernier shouted when each one of them should set off and her fellas hurled down the cable toward the train. Thank God that she didn’t have too long to be scared out of her mind because there was more than enough room for them to land. They weren’t out of the woods yet, but they’d made it on top of the train and, eventually, it disappeared into the distance.

 

“Guess we can only wait now,” Jimmy sighed.

 

Quinn hated to wait.

 

\---

 

A nice chunk of time had went to the trek back to the bottom of the mountain and then an even nicer chunk went to the drive to follow the train’s path as best as they could. The whole time, Morita was on the radio, moved back and forth between channels to hear Gabe when he came over the one the train had. With Dum-Dum behind the wheel and Morita at the radio, she, Monty, and Dernier had to entertain themselves the whole time. Bless them, Monty and Dernier had decided to help her beef up her French to help distract her. The Howlers did that whenever she couldn’t be with the fellas or her and Buck couldn’t be with Steve or what-have-you.

 

Separated from the front of the truck where Dum-Dum drove and Morita had more room to work in peace, she couldn’t hear it when Gabe came back over the horn, but she assumed that’s what happened when the truck came to a stop. The doors in the front opened, slammed shut, and she waited for Dummy and Jimmy to come meet them since it was cold as hell and she wouldn’t rush unless she knew there was some actual trouble.

 

And there was—there was some serious trouble, she could see it the second Dum-Dum and Jim climbed into the back with the rest of them. “Shit,” she cursed while she reached down to snatch up her med-kit and then hopped to her feet. "What happened? No, never mind that. Just tell me which way to head."

 

Jim held out an arm when she tried to move past him. “Quinn, wait—” he hesitated and his eyes dropped down to their feet while he whispered, “We really need to talk to you before you rush out there.”

 

“Don’t beat around the bush, chaps. Let us know how bad it really is,” Monty demanded.

 

“It’s…” Dum-Dum pulled his bowler hat off his head and pressed it to his chest. “Fellas, it’s a code gray,” he explained. Dernier had stood up and opened his mouth, started to ramble off in rushed French that she doubted anyone would be able to understand, but Dum-Dum had his sad eyes stuck on her which Dernier noticed and snapped his mouth shut.

 

“Code gray?” She frantically wracked her brain for that code because they had them some special codes, just between the lot of them, but she’d never ever heard of that one before. “Code gray? What’s a code—” her breath caught in her throat. Oh, no. No, no, no, no…not that. “This ain’t funny. It’s _not._ " Her voice cracked. "Don’t—don't joke about things like that. I’ll...I'll head out there and see what the fuss is about _myself_.”

 

“Quinn!” both Jim and Dum-Dum shouted after her when she darted past Jim and jumped out of the back of the truck, and there, above the trees, she could see the smoke of the train in the distance, so that was where she started to run toward.

 

Gray…the word alone made people with soul marks shiver. And if some unfortunate soul were to actually see it on them…that color could tear people’s lives apart. The Commandos, damn them, they must’ve went behind her, Steve, and Buck’s backs to come up with that code, but…but it must’ve meant that someone was badly injured. It couldn’t have actually meant that…

 

Quinn hadn’t even run that fast, but when she stopped in the middle of the woods, her chest heaved and she was close to sobs, she was so terrified and desperate for this to be a bad, bad dream. There was one quick way that she could understand the severity of the situation and it was there on her sides. She unzipped her jacket and shucked it off into the snow, but when it came time to lift up her shirt, she hesitated. Did she really want to do this? Did she really want to see...no, of course she had to it. She prayed to God it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. Maybe code gray only meant that it was a situation particular to her, Steve, and Bucky—nothing bad...

 

So, Quinn lifted up the hem of her shirt, and she stared in horror at the left side of her body, where _James Buchanan Barnes_ should’ve been written in black, but had faded. “No,” she sobbed and ran her nails across the name, like that’d force the black to come back. “No, no, no! _No!_ ” The pitch of her voice went higher and higher and then she outright screamed. “Please, please, _please_ ,” she begged and looked up at the skies with tears running down her cheeks. “Please don’t do this to us. _Please, God,_ ” she pleaded to the heavens. "Don't take him away."

 

Ahead of her, Gabe came into view, shoulders hunched, expression absolutely miserable. There were tears on his cheeks, but when he came closer to her, he started to wipe them away. "Quinn," he started but he must've had no idea what to say, so he closed his mouth. The look on her face must've been a desperate one—desperate to know the truth of the situation..."I'm so sorry, Quinn," he whispered and she took it back, she didn't want to know the truth. She'd rather they'd lied to her.

 

"Gabe," she choked out, but couldn't think of what to say. What _was_ there to say? Not shit, that's what. "Gabe," she started and because she needed to make this as painful as humanly possible, she needed to know, "What happened? Y'all had landed fine. What _happened_?"

 

Gabe took a deep breath before he started to explain, "I wasn't there, but it looks like...someone blew out the side of the car they were in and...he must've fell from the train."

 

Oh, God.

 

Oh, Bucky...

 

This...it can't happen, not to them...

 

Suddenly, it dawned on her that there was another person that she stupidly hadn't even asked about. "Steve," she whispered and reached out to take Gabe by the shoulders. "Where's Steve? Is he okay?

 

"He won't move. I've tried, but I can't make him move from the car. He's just...he stares at the hole. I think he's in shock, if that's even possible for a super soldier." Gabe looked away, seemed hesitant, but then came out with it and explained, "I have Zola locked up, but...I'm afraid what Steve could do if he saw him."

 

Zola.

 

_Zola._

 

"Gabe," she started slowly. For the time, she had to be the calm one because if she went and tried to tear that rat bastard into pieces like she desperately wanted to, then Buck's...his death...it would've—she couldn't even think about this. At that exact second, she needed to gather some goddamn strength, for Steve's sake. "Tell me where Steve is and you make sure that _neither_ of us see that fucker's face, understand?"

 

"Trust me, Quinn, I understand." Gabe stepped up beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulled her close, and repeated, "I'm so sorry."

 

\---

 

Quinn had hoped, so, so desperately, that it had all been some real cruel prank, that when she stepped inside the train car, her two boys—her _soulmates_ would be in there. Maybe she'd cry in relief and then she'd definitely have socked them one because they'd done that to her. And then she'd head to the doctor when they went back to London to try and see what the hell happened with her mark to make it gray up the way it had.

 

But when she stepped inside the train car, she stared in horror at the side that had been blasted wide open. Gabe darted past her, probably to head up to wherever he'd stashed Zola, and Quinn looked over to spot Steve across from the hole, propped up against the wall. Gabe had been spot on about it all and she wanted to scream and scream because this wasn't _fair_.

 

"Steve?" she whispered hesitantly and slowly walked toward him. There was this...blank look on his face and that scared her. It was almost like he...he hadn't processed it quite yet—or maybe he had and he didn't know how to feel about this situation and how could he, huh? How could he know? Steve and Buck...they'd been with each other since they were little kids, practically babies. Even when they hadn't known they were soulmates, they were always there for each other. They could scream and be pissed at each other as much as they wanted, but when it came down to it, they were one whole piece, and now...now they'd been split up.

 

"Steve," she repeated, louder and firmer than before, so maybe she could break past whatever clouded his mind at the moment. She stepped up in front of him and reached down to put her hands on his cheeks. " _Steve_ ," she couldn't seem to muster up more to say than that because, same as him, she didn't want to admit this had happened. "Steve, please talk to me, sweetheart," she begged.

 

Finally, Steve looked up at her, and his eyes went wide. "Quinn?" He swallowed and then his eyes went over her shoulder, to the hole in the car. " _Quinn,_ " he choked out. His hands flew up and around her wrists and he squeezed so hard that it'd leave bruises, she knew it would. "It was my fault," he admitted so quiet that she almost hadn't heard it over the roar of the icy winds outside. "I didn't reach him in time. I almost had him, but I..." He sucked in a breath and it came out a sob when he said, "I let him down. He's been there for me my whole goddamn life and I let him down the one time he needed me the most."

 

"No. Steve, _no_." Her voice shook and she dropped down to her knees in front of him. "It wasn't your fault. It'll never be your fault. I know you, okay? I know you would've done all you could do save him. Don't do this to yourself. He wouldn't want you to beat yourself up like this and you know it."

 

"He's _dead_ , Quinn. Whatever he wanted doesn't matter anymore," he snapped. She knew he hadn't meant to be cruel about it, but she flinched anyway. It'd been like a punch to the stomach, another added to this whole awful day full of them, and couldn't help but jerk back in response. "No. No, I'm sorry." Tears started to roll down his cheeks and she couldn't help but pull him close, put his head on her chest, over her heart so he could hear it beat and know that she was here. "Please don't leave me too," he whispered.

 

Quinn held onto him. "I'll never ever leave you," she promised. When he started to cry in earnest, her own tears fell too. "I promise I'll never leave." But Bucky had promised them that, too, hadn't he? "I'm here, Steve. I'm here," she reminded him and then failed to hold back her sob because Bucky wasn't there.

 

They spent hours on that train before someone finally came to force them away. When Quinn had thrown off her coat, it left her exposed to the elements, and she'd been out there in the cold so long that her arms went numb and she desperately, desperately wished that she could feel that way on the inside.

 

Quinn wished she couldn't feel a thing.

 

\---

 

The second that they'd landed back in London, Steve had taken one look at the truck meant to escort them back to headquarters, and quietly admitted that, "I...think I need to be alone right now." He turned to look down at her, face so open, so sad, and so vulnerable. "I can't be there. I can't...stand do be stuck in...in a room and...and—"

 

Steve didn't need to be that articulate for her to understand what he meant. He didn't want to be stuck in a small room for a debrief, try and hold it together in front of the colonel, and talk in painful detail about the death of his soulmate. "I know, Steve." God, there wasn't much that she could do, but whatever she could, she would. "Let me have the report. I can turn it in."

 

After he handed her what few pages he could come up with as a report, he leaned down and bumped his forehead to hers. A few tears started to roll down his cheeks and she reached up to cup his cheeks and rub away his tears with her thumbs. "I love you," Steve shakily whispered.

 

"I love you, too." She swallowed at the lump in her throat. "I don't care how drunk you are, come see me in my quarters whenever you're done." Because even if he didn't plan to get drunk himself, most of the boys planned to make him drink until he couldn't think. They offered to buy a whole separate bottle for her, but...someone between them needed to have a level head and she'd learned from her past mistakes, anyhow. Booze never worked, in the end, when a person wanted the hurt to stop. "I don't want you alone." And, quieter, she admitted, "And I don't wanna be alone, either."

 

"Okay." He nodded. "I promise I'll be there." Then, he turned around and headed over to the small group the Commandos formed over on the other side of the plane.

 

Quinn watched the Commandos form a circle around Steve, watched Dum-Dum thrown an arm around Steve's shoulder, and thanked God that he wouldn't be alone. He'd never be alone because there were people who loved him and would support him.

 

When she was seated in the back of the car that'd take her to headquarters, she slid into the backseat, and once the car was in motion, she stared down at the report—didn't really read it, just stared at it. Steve hadn't spoken a word about what happened and no doubt wouldn't ever for a long, long time, but she...wanted to know what had happened. She...felt like she _should_ know, felt like she owed Steve that much to share the burden as much as she could.

 

So, she read the report, even if it was probably the worst idea in the world. But, she could take it, because Steve had actually experienced it and he shouldn't have been the only one to hurt a whole lot between the two of them.

 

By the time the car reached headquarters, she had her head leaned back on the seat and stared up at the roof of the car, gaze unfocused and on the verge of tears again. She hadn't even realized that they were there until the door beside her opened up to reveal Peggy.

 

"Don't," Quinn warned when Pegs reached out for her. The other woman backed up when Quinn put a foot out on the ground. "Please don't," she murmured shakily when Pegs tried to put her arms around Quinn. "I'm...I'm one sad look away from—from—" she blinked back tears and handed the report over to Pegs because she couldn't stand to have it in her hands anymore.

 

"Now isn't the time. Yes, I understand." Peggy, bless her, was a lot better at making her body and face cooperate and to school her expression into one more serious and somber. But—and Quinn wasn't sure if it was intentional or not—she couldn't completely erase the sadness behind her eyes. "Where's Steve?" she asked as she looked over Quinn's shoulder back into the car.

 

Quinn rubbed the back of her neck and sighed. "A pub," she answered. "Commandos are with him. I didn't want him to be alone, so I asked 'em before we landed to take him somewhere and...take his mind off this, if they can. It won't work, but the booze should kick in, yeah?" Peggy's brows furrowed, like she was deep in thought, and worried to boot. "What is it?" Quinn asked.

 

"You didn't want Steve to be alone." She nodded and Pegs only frowned. "But, Quinn, what about you?" Quinn didn't know what to say to that, so she shrugged with one shoulder, and stared down at her feet. "You shouldn't be alone, either."

 

"Someone had to hand the report over and debrief," she protested weakly.

 

Peggy rubbed her forehead, exasperated now. "No one gives a damn about the bloody report, Quinn. Despite your...differences, the man's not a complete monster, and Phillips understands that you've both lost your soulmate." Suddenly, she straightened, a woman on a mission now. " _I_ will hand this report over," she started and waved said stack of papers. " _You_ ," she pointed a finger at Quinn, "will head back to your quarters where you'll wait for me. I _refuse_ to let you be alone for a moment unless I absolutely have to."

 

"But—"

 

"Shut up and do as I say, Quinn," Peggy barked before she spun around and stormed into the SSR headquarters.

 

\---

 

The second Quinn shut the door to her room behind her, she stumbled over to the bed, buried her face into the pillow, and screamed. She'd screamed before, back in the forest, when the Commandos first told her, but she needed to do it some more. It wouldn't help, she knew that much, but she couldn't stand the quiet of the room and would scream herself hoarse before she had to listen to the silence.

 

This wasn't supposed to _happen_. They had _plans_. They were supposed to...the _three_ of them were supposed to head back to the states, were supposed to...to not marry, per se, but they would've taken some kind of vows. Three of them— _three_ —and now there were two of them.

 

Bucky...he didn't deserve what happened to him.

 

It hurt.

 

It _hurt so bad_ and she had no idea what to do.

 

She didn't even know if she'd locked the door or not, but when she finally had screamed herself hoarse and bawled after, someone slid in the bed behind her. Peggy wrapped one arm around Quinn's waist to pull her close to her chest and used her free hand to slide under the pillow and clutch at Quinn's hand there.

 

"I'm so sorry, Quinn," she whispered. "None of you ever deserved this."

 

Quinn sniffled and moved her face to the side to suck in a breath of fresh air and to croak out, "How do you know?" She curled up into a ball. "I'm not a good person, Pegs. Maybe...maybe 'cause of that, God's—"

 

"Don't you _dare_ finish that. _You are a good person_ ," Peggy declared and there was no room to back talk her on it. "You deserve to be loved, you know," she added, quieter. "You deserved every bit of what you had with them—you all did. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, Steve, and James." Quinn busted out into tears again, not even sure why at this point, and Peggy pressed her face into Quinn's hair. "I'm here for you. You're not alone in this."

 

"You don't deserve this put on you," Quinn tried to argue through sobs.

 

"Hush now and turn over," she ordered and Quinn did as she said. The two of them stared at one another for a minute or two and then Pegs confessed, "Did you know that I had a fiancé once. It's hard to believe, I know."

 

Quinn blinked in shock because...holy hell. She considered Peggy to be one of her dearest friends, had told Pegs a whole lot about where _she_ came from, but...sweet, quiet Pegs had never ever offered much up about her own past. "Peggy, how come you never said—"

 

Pegs ignored the question, pushed ahead with, "Yes, a little hard to believe, I know. I was a codebreaker, when the war had first broken out. I was to be married to a sweet man—Fred, his name was. I'd always had a sense of adventure, even as a little girl, but Mother wanted me to be a lady and, by this time, I'd believed I'd grown out of it. I was a proper lady then." She smiled fondly. "But my old brother, Michael, had...grander plans for me, bless my poor mother's heart.

 

"I loved my brother so dearly, Quinn," she breathed out, tears in her eyes. "He knew me better than I'd known myself. I think I'd lost my way, lost myself in my mother's ways, and he helped me. He'd gone over my head and recommended me to be a SEO. I'd refused and he brought it up to me at my engagement party, of all places."

 

"You lost him, didn't you?" Quinn asked quietly.

 

Peggy nodded, lower lip trembling, and Quinn couldn't help but lean forward and press her face into the crook of Peggy's neck and hold the other woman close. "I lost him to the war early on, but he reminded me of who I am, who I've always been. I left to take up the fight and never ever looked back." Peggy blinked away her tears and moved her hand over Quinn's heart. "Perhaps I don't know you as well as I'd like to believe, but I think I do and you're a fighter, too. You're not nearly as selfish or bad as you think you are. And, most of all, you're strong."

 

"Between you and Steve, Quinn," Peggy bumped her forehead against Quinn's and Quinn had to close her eyes to hold back the tears because she didn't deserve this, no matter what Pegs said. No one deserved such an amazing person like her in their life—except maybe Steve. "You both have the strength to move forward. James believed in you both, loved you both. Remember how much he cared for you and you'll be able to take those first steps forward. You can do it and I'll be there for you both every step of the way, I swear it."

 

\---

 

Quinn had somehow been able to catch some sleep—probably because she cried so damn much that it wore her out. She woke up and, rather than Pegs in front of her, it was Steve. He looked as tired as she felt, but when she looked into his eyes, he managed a small smile, genuine even with all that had happened to them both.

 

"Hey, trouble," she murmured. She decided it'd be best not to mention the fact that he didn't seem nowhere near as drunk as he was supposed to be at the moment.

 

"I'm sorry I left you alone," he apologized and brushed his lips across hers. "That wasn't fair and it took a kick in the ass from Pegs to see that. I shouldn't've done that. I'm sorry."

 

Honest, she was too tired to deal with the day anymore. She knew it wouldn't happen, but she prayed that if she went to bed and woke up, it'd be to her _two_ soul mates and not the one. "That's okay," she replied and, shyly, asked, "Hold me?"

 

Steve wrapped her up in his arms and buried his face into the top of her head. "I love you," he threw out a few quiet minutes later. "I love you and I love Bucky." His arms tightened around her. "I don't expect you to...to come with me, but...they'll _pay_ for what they did. Schmidt, Zola, _Hydra_ —they _need_ to _burn_ for what they did."

 

Quinn remembered what Peggy had said to her earlier, about how she knew Quinn was a fighter, and that was true. Yeah, it really was true. Maybe she didn't fight for the best reasons at times, and maybe _this_ wasn't so pure a motive either, this revenge, but, "You know I'll stand with you in this." She kissed him. "'Til the end of the line, right?"

 

Steve smiled a little wider then, but there were tears in his eyes. "Yeah, 'til the end of the line." And when he said it, she couldn't help but notice that he looked so damned guilty when he said that to her.


	22. Dust Is Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Have you had love for me, boy?_   
>  _Have you only love for the blue sky?_   
>  _Have you kissed the lips of the one you liked_   
>  _So hard you couldn't stay alive?"_   
>  _Dust Is Gone -- **MØ**_

Grim determination had settled over Steve since the two of them had woken up, no extra person in the bed with them. and that had been the hard hit home for them that he was...that he had passed on from the world—she'd almost bursted out into tears when the realization hit her. Bucky...he wasn't there, wouldn't be there to see the end of Hydra, and he wouldn’t be there to head back home with the two of them. Jesus, Quinn hadn't even been able to look down at her stomach when she dressed because she wouldn't dare look at that mark and then she honest to God envied Steve who couldn't see his marks unless he really tried at it.

 

"Before we leave," Steve started when she went to open the door and walk out because headquarters sent word that they needed the two of them. "I wanted to—" he took a deep breath, reached down to take her hands in his, and kissed her. It was slow, took her breath away, but it left a bad aftertaste because it tasted like a bye. "I never ever believed I deserved soul mates like you two, but…I love you, Quinn."

 

Quinn swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut, leaned up on her tiptoes to press her forehead to his. "You know I love you so much," she whispered thickly. "But say this to me when we make it back home, to the states, and you're down on one knee."

 

"Did you...just ask me to marry you?" he asked, a little smile on his lips, and she'd remember that, she'd save it to her memories and cherish it forever and ever. "Isn't it supposed to happen the other way around?"

 

"We're not traditional people, Steve," she replied and tears rolled down her cheeks. Since he'd announced his plan to take down Hydra, she could feel the air around him take a bad turn, and she didn't want to lose him, either. She desperately wanted him to come home from the war with her. She couldn't say the bye it seemed like he wanted to have before he walked away. "And it wasn't so much a question. All I did was—"

 

"—demand I ask you to marry me," he cut her off and she pressed her face into the crook of his neck to laugh. "So, yeah, you asked me to marry you." She heard him swallow and he murmured, "That's okay. I'll do it the proper way sooner or later."

 

Quinn held on harder, scared to death.

 

\---

 

"Johann Schmidt belongs in a bug house. He thinks he's a God. He's willing to blow half the world prove it, starting with the U.S.A."

 

The entire Commando team and the top-brass of their local SSR—which included Colonel Phillips, Pegs, and Howard—were seated at a conference table, looked at the map of the world, and listened to what the colonel had learned from his...conversation with that rat, Zola. Quinn prayed the conversation had lasted _hours_ and had been very, very painful.

 

Underneath the table, Steve clutched her hand and they hadn't separated since.

 

Howard tacked on, as serious as she'd ever seen him before, "Schmidt's working with powers beyond our capabilities. He gets across the Atlantic, he will wipe out the entire eastern seaboard in an hour."

 

"How much time we got?" Gabe questioned.

 

"According to my new best friend, twenty-four hours," Phillips answered. "Hydra's last base is here," he waved the picture that he had in his hand and then threw it on the table in front of everyone, "in the Alps. Five hundred feet below the surface." Great, they'd be headed back to the Alps which was the last damn place Quinn wanted to be.

 

Once that'd sunken in, Jim was the one to ask, "So, what are we supposed to do? It's not like we can just knock on the front door."

 

Steve's hand squeezed hard around hers and he leaned forward to speak up. "Why not?" Everyone, Quinn included, turned to look at him, surprised and confused. "That's _exactly_ what we're gonna do."

 

Anyone that knew Steve knew that this plan would be a _terrible_ idea.

 

\---

 

Their conversation had went a lot like this:

 

"I won't let you come with me. I won't risk you, too, Quinn!"

"Well, I can't keep _you_ here because you're the super soldier, but you won't be alone, damn it! By God, Steven Grant, I _will_ help take down these assholes, and you can't stop me!"

"...fine, but you _have_ to stay with the troops _all_ the time, understand? You won't come with me, knockin' on their front door, and I _will_ fight you on that. What I have planned, that's too damn dangerous for you to be with me. I can't lose you, not now."

"I don't like this, I want you to know that."

"You don't like _any_ of my plans."

"Because they're not really all that thought out, sweetheart."

 

Steve wanted her to keep with the troops, which was fine. Of course, the _Commandos_ were considered troops, in this instance. And if Quinn happened to keep with the boys—because she felt _so_ much safer with them, see—then she wouldn't mention that to Steve until she absolutely had to.

 

“Aren’t you scared of heights?” Dum-Dum shouted over the roar of the winds when her, Gabe, and Monty were about to set sail down the lines.

 

Quinn wrapped her hands that shook around the pulley. “I am,” she shouted and then looked dead ahead at the window that expanded across the mountain, the main room that Johann Schmidt had tormented the SSR from for almost a year, who had, like Zola, cost her a soul mate. “But I’m a lot more fuckin’ pissed than I am scared, so shut the hell up and let’s move out!” she shouted and, with her heart in her throat, launched herself off the mountain and toward the main base.

 

When they crashed past the window, it took the Hydra assholes by surprise, and she whipped out a pistol and aimed at Schmidt, but like the coward that he was, he darted out of the room before she could hit him. While the other boys took care of the rest of the men in the room, she hopped down from the table that she and Gabe had landed on, and ran over to Steve’s side.

 

“You were supposed to stay with the troops!” Steve shouted over the hail of bullets.

 

“You never said which troops!” She reached down to pick up the shield, shoved it against his chest, and ordered, “Now let’s find that bastard and finish this! And, before you say a goddamn word, I’m comin’ with yah!” And before he tried to talk back, she ran out of the room, so he had no choice but to follow.

 

The SSR’s troops had started to swarm the base, so she and Steve moved the way where Schmidt was bound to head toward, where there were less troops to oppose him. Hell rained down all around them while the two of them tracked down Schmidt. The bastard had turned around to aim his gun at them and Steve only barely pulled her back behind him in time to take the hit from the blue beam. She tried to shoot at him, but he ran too quick and around a corner before she could hit him.

 

Steve threw his shield at the wall, to make it ricochet and hit Schmidt, knock him down, but she’d learn to know what certain sounds meant and the reverberation wasn’t one that came from a person that’d been hit. Before they could move around the corner, a Hydra trooper with a flamethrower came around to meet them, and she was the one to react ahead of time, and practically grabbed Steve and threw him in a little indent in the wall then threw herself on top of him before the flames came. Steve moved around so that he was on top of her, his back aimed to take most of the heat.

 

“Still don’t need me?” she sassed.

 

“You’re not helping!” he growled in response yet curled closer around her when the fire continued to roar at his back.

 

Another storm of bullets started up, but they were at the man with the flamethrower, and Quinn couldn’t see it, but she heard the explosion from where the bullets hit the tank on his back. Finally, the heat had stopped, and both Steve and Quinn stepped out of their little hideaway to watch Peggy approach them.

 

Quinn smirked at Pegs. “You’re late, but sweetheart, I could kiss you.”

 

“What she said,” Steve added with almost the same smirk that Quinn had on her own face.

 

And, swear to the Lord, it looked like Pegs was almost…bashful. “Weren’t you about to…?”

 

Fuck, it’d been like the two of them had almost forgotten that small detail. “Right!” Steve replied before he turned around and headed back down the hall that Schmidt had. Quinn smiled quickly at Pegs before she darted after him and squeezed through the space where Steve’s shield had kept the door from sealing shut behind Schmidt.

 

The two of them came out to…some indoor airstrip where a lot of the battle had been forced out to. All around them, both Hydra and Allied troops went toe-to-toe with one another. In the distance, the plane that Schmidt had undoubtedly planned to use to blow up the world had started its takeoff. Both she and Steve, without a word otherwise—maybe he’d finally accepted that she’d stick by his side, no matter what hell went on around them—ran after the plane.

 

Steve, with the whole super soldier bonus, was faster and barreled past all the Hydra soldiers in his way. While the skirmish started to thicken up, he grabbed a chain and swung over most of it, to a clear patch where he could sprint. Quinn, obviously slower, squinted at the plane then at Steve and knew that he wouldn’t be able to catch it, enhanced or not.

 

Quinn slowed down before she completely stopped and shot at any Hydra asshole that came too close. She almost shit her pants when there was a loud honk from behind her and when she turned around, a car came to a sudden stop beside where she stood. “Margaret Carter, you are our goddamn saving grace, you know that?” she shouted over the sounds of battle and hopped in the backseat without Peggy even having to order her to.

 

“Boost my ego once we’ve won the war!” Peggy shouted back before she stomped her foot down on the gas and sped off down the airstrip toward Steve.

 

“Hop in, soldier!” Quinn ordered Steve when they caught up with him and he grinned at them before he hopped in the seat next to Peggy.

 

It almost didn’t look like they’d make it, even in the car, until Peggy took a chance and pressed on a button near the wheel. All of them were thrown back by the sudden force when the car took off a breakneck speed and then they were right on Schmidt’s ass. Steve started to stand up in the seat when they closed in on the plane, and told Peggy to, “Keep it steady!”

 

Quinn knew that…this would be the last time she’d see him for a little while—she refused to have any less faith in him to think he wouldn’t come back. Desperate to see his face one last time, to be close to him before he finished this war once and for all, she reached out to snatch up one of the straps to his uniform, shouted, “Hold on!” and when he turned around to look at her, pulled him down to kiss her. She closed her eyes, put her hands on his cheeks, and cherished every last second of that kiss. “Good luck kiss!” she blurted when they leaned away from one another and he smiled. “Go rip that fucker a new one now!”

 

“I would kiss you both, but we’re unfortunately running out of time!” Peggy reminded them and her voice had successfully pulled their heads out of their own asses because, yeah, end of the world as they knew it on the line if they didn’t catch Schmidt.

 

Steve strapped his shield to his back and quickly had to duck when the car started in under one of the turbines. The shield took the hit from the blades, but she and Pegs had to both duck their heads, and the blades did knock into the car, which shook and jerked it, but it kept on despite.

 

They came out to an open end of the airstrip which dropped off into the mountains at the very end, and Quinn clutched onto whatever she could because this would be a really fucking terrifying stunt. The second that Steve threw himself out of the car, at one of the plane’s wheels, Peggy quickly banked and put on the damned brakes. They’d cut it pretty damn close because the back wheels of the car actually hung over the edge of the cliff, and she squeaked in horror, but thank Mary, Joseph, and Jesus it didn’t move any more.

 

Quinn, heart in her throat and tears in her eyes, rose to her feet and watched as the plane, the Valkyrie, flew off into the distance, her soul mate inside and about to have the battle of his life, and then shrink away until she couldn’t see it anymore.

 

 _Please God, bring him home_.

 

\---

 

The Hydra troopers that had survived the initial attack on base had slowly started to drop their weapons and surrender and those who wouldn’t…well, they were taken care of. When the base had been cleared out, the people closest to her and Steve didn’t have much more to do than wait by a radio and pray to God that Steve would make contact with them sooner rather than later. Peggy, eventually, had clutched onto Quinn’s hand to hold her still from where she’d paced and put a dent in the floor probably.

 

Miracles of miracles, Steve’s voice suddenly sounded over the radio that everyone hovered around. “Come in! This is Captain Rogers! Do you read me?”

 

Quinn knew that Jim would understand later when, while he tried to ask over the radio, “Captain Rogers, what is your—” she practically shoved him out of the way to push the button herself and answer Steve with, “Steve, thank God, are you okay?”

 

“Quinn!” Jim moved out of the way so she could take a seat and Peggy was there by her side. “Schmidt’s dead,” Steve explained.

 

“Okay, but what about the plane?”

 

There was a silence from the other end, which didn’t do much for her nerves, if she was honest, before he admitted, “That’s…a little bit tougher to explain.”

 

Lost, Quinn looked up at Peggy, who scrambled to find a map, and she understood the other woman’s plan. “What’re your coordinates? We’ll find you some kind of a safe place to land, okay?” she told Steve.

 

“There’s not going to be a safe landing, but I can try and force it down,” Steve replied.

 

The world suddenly dropped out from underneath her feet and she practically slammed her hand back on that button to answer, “No, no, no, no,” she scrambled for some idea, any _better fucking plan_. “Howard!” she nearly shouted. “Someone can run and put Howard on the horn! He’ll know what to do and…and he can help you put her down safe!”

 

“There’s not enough time. This thing’s moving too fast and it’s heading for New York.” _Fuck New York_ , she wanted to scream at him, _and_ _fuck the rest of the world too_. Goddamn selfish, she knew that’s what she was, but she couldn’t let him do this. Then, to put another nail in the goddamn coffin he’d started to build for himself, Steve told her, “I gotta put her in the water.”

 

Pegs moved behind Quinn, put her hands on Quinn’s shoulders, and squeezed hard. “No, no—you can’t do this. We have _time_. We can…we can work this out—work _somethin’_ out.” She moved her hand away from the button and ducked her head, whispered, “Please don’t _do_ this. Please, Steve,” she gasped out.

 

“Right now, I’m in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer, a lot of people are gonna die,” Steve gently clarified to her and she suddenly sobbed because she couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Quinn, this is my choice.”

 

But it wasn’t _her goddamn choice_ and…and he’d went and chose for them both and how fair was that of him to do? It was so fucking selfless and selfish at the same time and she wanted to reach through that radio and slap some sense into him. It wasn’t fair. He…he was about to make her go through a second loss in as many days and what was she supposed to do? What the fuck would she do without him? What would she do without Bucky? What would she do all alone, without her two other halves?

 

They, the three of them, had chosen to stick with each other until the end of the line, but…she’d never expected that the line would suddenly end for them both so soon, that it’d stretch out for _her_ , endless, daunting, and lonely.

 

Why hadn’t she seen it sooner, that her boys had been destined to go young, like every other man in this goddamned war?

 

“Quinn?” Steve’s voice hesitantly came back over the radio.

 

Goddamn it, if he’d leave this world, she’d make sure it was with love in his heart. “I’m here, sweetheart,” she answered past her tears.

 

“I know you—I know you’d never wanted our names, when you came into this, but…I’m honored hat you chose us anyway. You never planned on us, when you enlisted in the war, but you took a chance and even if it’s led you—but...you've made me happier than I ever dreamed I'd be.” Quinn covered her mouth so she could quiet her sobs, but it didn’t work. “Thank you. I love you, Quinn, with all my heart.”

 

“You know it’s the same on my end, you don’t need to hear me say it, but I love you, okay? But…but _really_ show me how thankful you are in a week, when you’re down on a knee like you said you’d be.” She scrambled for some place that either he or Bucky had told her about in one of their many rants about New York. “Meet me in a week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club. I’ve never been to a fancy New York place before, y’know?”

 

“You got it.”

 

“Make sure you’re there at eight, on the dot, because God forbid, I look like I’ve been stood up. I’m a prime catch and…you have to work to keep me on your line. You understand me?” she babbled.

 

“That’s perfect and we can dance after. It’ll be perfect. Still can’t dance worth much, though.”

 

She choked out a laugh. “That’s fine, sugar. We can work on it some more. No one’s gonna mind us any attention. It’ll be all about me ‘n you, yeah?”

 

“Make sure the band plays somethin’ slow. I’d hate to step on your—”

 

The other end of the radio suddenly cut out, but she couldn’t admit it to herself, she _couldn’t_. “Steve?” she called over the radio. Useless. No response. “Steve?” she tried a second time and Peggy tilted her head forward, pressed her face into the top of Quinn’s head. “Steve? Please?” Peggy finally reached out to pull Quinn’s hand away from the radio because there wouldn’t be an answer. “Please don’t leave me too,” she sobbed.

 

She wouldn’t ever see their beautiful faces again, never again trace the names scrawled into their skin with her fingers, never hear their sometimes stupid arguments or hear their laughter, never ever whisper into their ears how much she loved them or hear them whisper it back to her.

 

She wouldn’t ever have her soul mates back in her arms.

 

Swear to God, she could feel her heart rip apart inside her chest, feel the loss and pain reach deeper than any pain she’d ever felt before, and feel her soul crack and splinter into three pieces. Every little bit of rightness and wholeness that she’d felt since she loved them slipped away and she felt so raw, so hurt, so lonely, and so goddamn lost.

 

Quinn screamed and screamed and hoped that every person who heard it could feel a fraction of the pain that she felt inside.

 

 


	23. Now Is Not the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world keeps on spinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. God. I...can't believe that the end has finally come. Well, the end of the first part to this series, anyway. There's going to be a lot of sequels, by the way! You'll definitely be seeing more of Quinn, Steve, and Bucky, don't you worry about that! So, uh, stay tuned into the series is what I'm saying, I guess?  
> So, I want to fucking thank all of you who've stuck with me throughout my spotty updating and those of you who have supported me with your comments and messages on Tumblr! I never would have been able to do this without you guys! I love you all to death and thank you so, so fucking much! I hope I never let you guys down in the future!  
>  **Thank you so fucking much. I love all of you to fucking death.**  
>  Anyway, here's the epilogue to _Old World Romance_. Stay tuned to the next part of the series!

Quinn rubbed at her forehead, annoyed, but she knew better than to talk back to Ma when she was upset. This had happened before, back when Quinn went and enlisted to be a nurse without any word about it, and…wow, what do you know? She finally understood that this _had_ started to become a habit because it was the exact same situation as when she’d enlisted.

 

Well, at the very least, Ma's fury wasn't directed at her this time, it was more toward the woman seated next to her. Quinn was pretty damn sure that Ma was even madder because she didn't see a lick of fear in the eyes of her victim.

 

"Think the place is still—what'd you call it—quaint?" Quinn murmured under her breath. One Miss Carter merely sipped at the cup of coffee from their finest china in response. Quinn bet Ma wasn't too happy now about how she'd broken that china out for their now-unwelcome guest.

 

Liam, the little traitor, had abandoned ship as soon as Pegs had laid out her offer on the table for Quinn and ran down to the DuPont house to spend time with Sophia. Pa, trained after his years and years with Ma, had smartly shut the hell up and let Ma rant.

 

"She _just came home_ ," Ma snarled and threw her dish towel onto the counter. "Do you realize that, young lady? You'd not feel the least bit sorry if you took her away from us, would yah? I can't _believe_ this. Get my baby back from one war and you wanna take her off to another. Besides, last I check, ma'am, the war's _over_."

 

"Pegs doesn't want me in a war, Ma," Quinn pointed out. "She wants me with her in New York, with the SSR—y'know, the people that I was with—" of course Ma knew because she'd read Quinn's letters and the sharp look she sent Quinn told her to move on. "But there is a war, with Hydra still, whatever’s left of it." Ma quieted at that. "And I'm sorry, Peggy, but I'm not cut out to be a spy. I can be a soldier, though."

 

Ma, desperate to keep her home, rushed around to plop down in the chair on Quinn's other side and hold her hands. "Quinn," she whispered. "You've already lost so much. You should be here, with your _family_ , in a place we can help you—"

 

"Ma," Quinn squeezed Ma's hands and smiled bitterly. "You look me in the eye, you tell me that if you were in the same situation, if you lost Pa, that someone could help you." Pa, on Peggy's other side, sighed and shook his head, expression resigned. "I love you, _all_ of you, but...you can't make this better. No one, except the two people Hydra took away from me, can fix this and that's not bound to happen anytime soon."

 

Aw, damn it, Ma had started to cry. It wouldn't change her mind, but it did make Quinn feel even more miserable—a shock that she could feel more than she already did, honest. "I'm sorry, Ma," she whispered. "But Hydra _has_ to burn for what they've done to me, to _everyone_. And...I have to be the one to do it, to light the match, and to piss on the ashes."

 

"That's my babby," Pa murmured and he smiled, but it was sad and forced and he looked about close to tears, too.

 

\---

 

Quinn walked Pegs outside, looped their arms together, and then escorted her down to the dock in front of the lake. While they walked, Quinn explained, "They've babied me since I came home. Ma's...real, real protective, if that ain't obvious by now. So, uh, 'm sorry about her."

 

"Your parents love you very much. There's no need to apologize to me about that. I think I can understand their feelings. They don't want to see you leave after you’ve…lost so much to one war. I never really gave my mother a choice about the matter, but I'm sure she would have had a similar reaction," the other woman shot back.

 

Guiltily, she admitted, "I would've left soon, one way or another. I can’t stand to be here. I don’t think I can do it…not after I’ve changed so much" She stared out at the lake and rubbed the back of her neck, sighed. "I'm sorry to turn down the SSR gig, but it's true, what I said. I'm not a spy. I'm a nurse, but I'm damn sure I can be a soldier, too. I'm better with fists and guns than sneakin' around." She felt bad that Pegs had come down to Kentucky, when she should've been in New York, for jack squat. "I already cleared it with Phillips. I'm still a nurse, all things considered, but if they hand me a gun…well. I ship back out to meet up with the Commandos who stayed behind in two weeks.”

 

“Would you like to come to New York with me, until you leave? I’d love to have someone brave the streets with me, you know.”

 

She chuckled. “Sure, Pegs, I’ll come with you.”

 

Silence stretched out between them until, finally, Peggy softly reminded her that, "There won't always be a war on, Quinn. What do you plan to do then?”

 

Quinn didn't answer because she honestly had no idea what she'd do when there was no more wars to be fought.

 

Well, there was a lot of time ahead of her to figure it out, she guessed.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! I finally made a Tumblr for this series! Find it [here](http://www.quinnhayden.tumblr.com)!!!


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